My visa renewal was always easy, even when I was warned that it might not be so.
I've been having nightmares. I don't get them when I travel and seldom in Thailand. This room may be toxic (too dry, too dusty).
What do you find at the market? We had all types of vegetables, fruits in season, eggs, sauces/soups, live fish, frogs... even ant eggs in season. I could cook most anything in my rice cooker. The other nearby stalls had plenty of choices from roti to fried chicken to fruit smoothies to chicken livers on a stick.
It sounds like you are falling into a better place mentally. There was something about the tone of this compared to your writing, say, six months ago that is more upbeat and positive.
8 pm is an hour after dark. Here 8 pm is over an hour before dark. I'm affected by light. Bright warm day today but I spent most of it inside in a cafe. I'm home now but it's only 6 pm and I need a coffee.
It's been raining in Udon Thani. Wish I were there.
I'm healthier physically when I'm in Thailand but I'm emotionally better here.
Does anyone at the local Buddhist wat speak English? You frame one issue as "my lack of faith" ... but I'm not convinced of that.
Pannya has been on strong meds. I reminded him to take them on time... still do. The dosage and meds changed over the 18 months we lived together.
Since you are in Thailand... consider a Buddhist approach. The Christianity I was subjected to growing up made it difficult to accept myself and let go. Thailand is all about learning to "let go". Forgiving oneself is a good step.
Today is better for me, I hope things change for the better for you. I understand from my perspective about being sick. Usually when I'm sick, it is best for me to be alone because my energy is sapped and I need a lot of rest. I hope you can rest well and get quality sleep as needed.
I'm glad you were able to get what you needed so you can be home and recover.
The greed and selfishness of humans are greater destruction that like a virus runs rampant. Sadly nature endures this horrific affliction upon the earth. I hope we learn to respect nature and ourselves so that we will have a beneficial change of heart and mind.
Now, if only some of this could be learned and moved here. The closest to this I can get is raising my own food. I'm glad for you. I hope your health improves.
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