Journey with me as I seek and find God in all the trials and joys of my life.
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For now, we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
A well-done and proper concluding chapter to your spiritual autobiography. The acknowledgment of those who guided us is an important component. It’s like saving the best for last. Without these people, your path to Christ might have been far rockier.
My favorite line was; “God does not need your help. He is more than capable of handling your problems all on His own. Leave it alone” by Esther Valez. We all have a tendacy, or some of us once had it, to take things to the alter and then carry them right back to our seat with us. I think you said this previously and it’s what I heard in AA meetings I went to: Let go and let God. There is a very simple truth to those words.
It sounds like all of these people are those you cherished … cherished enough to continue remembering them. It reminds me that’s the kind of person I want to me.
Thank you for that reminder and thank you for a well-written and inspirational chapter.
I’m sorry for what you had to go through as a child, but I believe you can see now how the Lord was working in your life. If it hadn’t been for your hearing problems, you never would have taken that person’s advice and turned to writing. This part of your spiritual autobiography shows how God can take something bad and turn it to something good.
You also learned a valuable lesson that all writers need to learn, believers in Christ or not: to write from the heart and not the head. It’s a lesson that some writers take a lifetime to learn.
But even more than that, you show how you don’t need to be a scholar to write about God’s loving impact on your life, all you need is the Holy Spirit. The apostle Paul tells us that after he was converted, he did not go to Jerusalem or consult with any of the other apostles, but went off by himself to Arabia. There, he presumably studied the scriptures—he had a lot to relearn about them. That could only have been accomplished with the aid of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit carries the keys to unlock holy scripture, something your path clearly shows.
Prayer is the most essential element in the life of any Christian, and thankfully you discover the most essential element of prayer. That being prayer is about our relationship with God. It’s how we come to know Him. And the way we develop that relationship is not about, as you say, giving Him your “wish list.” It’s simply about talking with him, praising Him, thanking Him. It’s odd how we wouldn’t think of accepting a gift from someone, or asking them to do something for us without thanking them, but we ignore that often with God. Like you say, it’s a lack of reverence.
I know how you feel about trying to present the gospel to your children and them not responding. What’s left to do when it’s someone you love and want to see them in heaven? Prayer … and an old saying erroneously attributed to St Augustine: “preach the gospel at all times and if necessary, use words.” Meaning, all that’s left after our words is to live out the gospel so they see the power of it. That peace you found for yourself speaks volumes.
In the end, it’s God’s will if, and when, the Holy Spirit move their heart.
This was an excellent entry … one that can speak volumes to anyone.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this chapter and sharing such heartfelt emotions. I know it must have been difficult to write, let alone live through, but you’d be surprised how many Christian’s have gone through the same process or are going through it now. Often they are the ones who show up at church with cheery smiles on their faces. Sharing this gives people permission to speak their own emotions about similar things that they’re going through.
You’re absolutely correct, we can’t look to change outside circumstances (often that we create), but instead change our heart. And that’s impossible to do without the work of the Holy Spirit. Oh, we try, but invariably we fail without the catalyst of the Spirit. I don’t know why, but people don’t mind talking about God. And while some will back away at the mention of Jesus Christ, it’s still pretty acceptable. But when you talk about the Holy Spirit, they run for cover. That’s imprudent, because it’s the work of the Holy Spirit in us that changes our hearts and allows us to work toward sanctification and becoming more Christ-like.
We don’t need the help of the Holy Spirit avoiding the storm, but help weathering the storm. It’s a lesson I have to keep re-learning.
Well written and emotionally transforming. I especially like the follow-up with your comparison of the Judean landscape to your emotional landscape.
This is a good recounting of your search that led you to the church you now attend. I think most Christians can relate to this. Gone are the days when most people stay at one particular church—the mobility of our society precludes it. People move around a lot and need to know its okay to switch churches for those reasons.
About the only thing I would suggest is you provide a little more detail about why you left a few of these churches, like you did with the Roman Catholic Church (hypocrisy truly grieves the spirit), and your move to Maine. You mention the merger of Lakeview, but usually churches that merge are close to each other. Was Athenia too far away to attend? And what induced you to leave Coastal before you found Cornerstone.
The reason I say this is because so many people "church-hop." Most of the time its due to insignificant things like the pews are too hard, or they can’t get along with someone. I suspect that’s not the case for you, but people need to understand the legitimate reasons for changing churches.
Gong along with this, I think you might relate your previous chapter with this one. You say which church you were at when you started reading the Bible more earnestly, but what about when you learned more about Jesus, and which churches were you between when you accepted the Lord.
These are just nitpicky details, but I think it will help readers relate better to what brought you to Christ. Regardless, its well-written and gives an excellent catalog of your path to find spiritual satisfaction. I can easily relate.
Favorite line: "Until I understood that I couldn’t find God in a building, but in the lives of the people there."
This is a striking telling of your path to salvation. You are correct, we come to God’s Word at different times for different reasons. What’s striking about your experience was the unfolding of how you came to know God and His saving grace through Christ. It came upon you like a sunrise, slowly enveloping you through coming to “know” God until you stood in shining light. You show why it’s not just knowing about God—anyone can learn about God—it’s about developing a relationship with God.
That’s what I like about this because so many people want to have that “road to Damascus moment”—the moment when Christ spoke directly to Paul and then struck him blind. That’s not to say there are those who have that moment legitimately, but not everyone does. John Wesley was coming home after a Bible study and felt strangely warmed. That’s like how you were reading the Bible, distraught, and felt “peaceful.”
For me, the most tender moment came while reading how you felt guilty reading about Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. It’s our sin that put hostility between God and us, which caused God to send His son to die as a propitiation for us. No Christian should be able to read about the crucifixion and no feel guilty. It’s not because it was people just like us who crucified him, it’s because we were the root cause of his death. Sometimes we read about Jesus’ death so much that we become jaded to it. Thank you for the reminder.
This is a good chapter because it highlights something that a lot of Christians deal with early on, that being knowing who God is, but struggling with accepting Him as the Lord of our lives. It’s simply hard to let go of the things of the world. I know because I struggled for years, fighting against God’s plan for me. Recently, though, I rediscovered a verse that has become the hallmark of my path these days. It’s from Philippians 1:6 …
Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;
Even all those years ago, God had begun a good work in you and He was not going to walk away from it until He had complete it—as evidenced by your faith today. If only we had been able to see what God had planned for us “back then.” So much time was lost, but at least Christ is in your life today and you can look back on those times knowing you will never want to return to them.
This was an excellent first entry, though very troubling to read. Not because of you, of course, but the people you had in your life that were supposed to guide you and protect you. Its difficult for some of us who never faced those kind of difficulties that break a person’s trust to truly understand how people behave that way. I know people do, because we read and hear about them in the news all the time, but to read firsthand accounts like this is truly troubling. All I can say is: I sympathize with your suffering, though I will never be able to share fully in it.
Of all the statements you made in this entry, the best, by far, was the last: “And so, the process of forgiveness begins.” That truly moved my heart.
As an aside, what I find interesting and sad at the same time is your comment: "But I never saw anyone read the Bible that was prominently displayed on the coffee table in our living room." I once read, or heard, someone say that the Bible is the most unread bestseller. As I said, sad. And we wonder why things have denigrated to the level they have. All the answers can be found in the Bible. We have to read it though.
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