NaNoWriMo Brainstorming Forum

O_O Definitely not short! But it was good.

Character: Grammy
Character Traits I associated with her: a bit of a weaver of tales, vibrant, kind with a more serious side to her when there needs to be.
Comments: Grammy didn't get much screen time, but the observations about the trees helped to characterize her and indicate that she's more than she seems. I didn't really get a strong sense of Grammy, but I got to learn a lot about Lilia. She seems level-headed and nostalgic for what she's lost. Keep an eye out for state-of-being verbs, though. There were a number of parts where you told how Lilia felt rather than showed it. Overall, though, I really enjoyed this excerpt! It's interesting, and it also serves to heighten the tension. Already, you've got readers wanting to see Malik!