NaNoWriMo Brainstorming Forum

Character name: Simon
Character traits: condescending, scattered, impatient
First impressions: He's actually rather likable. Is he supposed to be? Telling this through his first person perspective invites readers closer, and the mention of what I assume is his family made him more relatable. Spelling out the puffs and coughs struck me as a little strange, though. For me (and this is only the opinion of one reader!), they took a lot of the tension out of the scene. The sentence fragments and short exclamations made Simon seem scattered. I don't find him terribly threatening, but the way he refers to other people also shows that he doesn't really care about them very much.

Those are my first impressions...