A place for those who lost a loved one. |
I am sad and hurting and, as I write this, I am crying. I called her Mommy. I miss her. I talked to her last on December 23rd. She was living with my brother who doesn't like me. I was allowed to call her but only when he was at work. Because of the holidays, I told Mommy I would talk to her "next year" because I didn't know my brother's schedule for those two weeks. I didn't realize she would die before the next year got here. I did make a fast trip from Oklahoma to Georgia to see her before they took her off the ventilator. I saw her, kissed her and said my good-byes. Then, because of one of my sisters strong negative feelings toward me, I left. I chose to give her and my brother and my other sister the space they needed to say good-bye together. As a nurse, I have been with many families at the moment their loved one left this life. I wanted love and peace to be in that room not hate and tension. It was my gift to them and to Mommy. I know she understood and would have been proud of me. I love her and, in spite of everything, I love them and, hopefully, always will. I wish we could mourn together. It's not possible at this time. I mourn alone... I mourn the loss of my mother without my siblings. I do have children and grand-children to share my grief just not the the kids who grew up with me. I mourn that loss as well. And choose to forgive... And choose love... ~ ~ ~ ruwth ~ ~ ~
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