"Well, you know, a fat broad is looking for someone who's into more than just her appetite..." begins the man, "women don't have one track minds you know. At least, my sister doesn't - you want her, you ought to expand that scrawny body of yours."
"Your sister?" Eric said, as his mind bounced up against the idea that this stranger had just described his stocky frame as "scrawny". Heck, he hadn't been scrawny even right after boot camp - what was this stranger on about. His sister? Eric tried desperately to think of any girl he'd gone out with who even remotely looked like this stranger.
"Yeah, my sister. You ought to remember her - you certainly spent a lot of your sailor's pay packet wining and dining her. But she's a bright woman - sure, she's big and likes being big, but she's got a brain too, little man - and she has a preference in men, and you are - guess what - not big enough for her."
Sister? Sister? Eric's brain fairly screamed trying to figure out which date this could be. He regularly spent a lot of his pay on dining out with girls with capacity... But he didn't think saying, what's her name, would win him any brownie points with this aggressive stranger.
"What, don't you remember her?" continued the stranger, accurately reading Eric's confusion. "Let me help you. About four inches shorter than you are, and I'd guess about 60 pounds heavier than you are - maybe more, if you're not packing as much muscle as I think. Long brown hair, lotsa blond highlights, snub little nose, penchant for pink tops and cats, likes to sing and cook...remembering her now? She's an accountant by trade, but I suspect you never asked about her job - she only found out yours by accident! You gotta look up past her breasts and remember that women got brains too!"
The stranger paused as a look of comprehensive swept over Eric's face. "Elisa!" Eric blurted out, his mind filling with memories of a generous, voluptuous girl with a big laugh and a big appetite, who had kept him talking all night, much to his surprise.
"Yeah, that's my sister. She sent me with a message - well two messages, really. One is that she really, really likes you, and she'd like to go out with you, get to know you. She knows what you'd like her to do, and she's good with getting bigger - maybe even a lot bigger.
"Message number two is that if she's going to be serious with you, you gotta be serious with her. She has tastes in men too, and you don't quite measure up.
You like big women? She likes big men! So, you gotta grow. She knows you can't get much bigger and stay in the Navy, so she's working out a deal - you're a good baker, right? That's why you've put on enough pudge to upset the Navy. So, she's offering you a job. Your commitment to the Navy is almost up. Our old man runs a bakery, and she's convinced him to give you a slot in the test kitchens. He'd do anything for her, so you're a shoe-in - so long's you don't screw up, either in the baking or with her. But here's where all that's aiming - she wants you to get big too, she wants you to double your weight for her. In return, she'll probably gain as much too. Don't know what Grandad'll think of a 420 pound Elisa, but probably the same thing as he'll think of a new 360 pound son-in-law...
"So, that's the message. Basically, come work for us and double your weight, and you and Elisa can live in happiness together. Or, you can carry on as you are, fat sailor boy. What do I tell her?"
Eric's brain reeled. Leave the navy - well, that's not too hard, no more worrying about physicals, but DOUBLE his weight? He'd be a blimp! On the other hand, so would she - and she was gorgeous now, think how fabulous she'd look 100 or even, well 180 pounds heavier....what would he say to Elisa's brother, and so to her.
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