"Man, get over it." You tell yourself.
Deciding that Adam poses too much of risk, you walk away from the window and slightly shake the can again. Opening the pull-tab, you hear it fizz and see blue tinted bubbles foam over the lip and down your hand.
"Shit!" You quickly place your mouth over the opening and suck all the foam into your mouth. You tip the can can and take a few gulps.
"Hmm. Tastes like beer. Definitely made for college students." You look down at the can and notice that while it tastes like beer, there's a slight hint of something else in the after taste.
Something blue?
You shake your head at the stupid description you just came up with. Your stomach gurgles and you pat it. The action forces a deep and loud belch to erupt from your mouth.
"Niiiice!" You commend yourself.
You spot a chest over by a standard military cot. Taking a few more swigs of the drink, you walk over to investigate. As you bend over to lift up the lid, your stomach grumbles again only this time
*phhhhhhhhht*
You stand up again, surprised by your recent bout of gas. You look at your drink and shake it again, hearing it fizz violently in the can.
"Dude, how carbonated is this stuff?" You shrug and quickly finish the can in a few quick chugs. Another loud and long belch echos around the room. You look down and notice that you have a severe case of bloating. Your belly has now rounded out, roughly the same size as the last time you and your buddies went on a beer drinking binge.
"Woah, all that from one can? It takes about 12 beers for me to blow up this big." You shake your gut, and it gurgles loudly in response. The pressure inside intensifies and your stomach looks like it inflates some more. You panic a little before another loud long *buuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp* escapes from your mouth.
"It's just gas." You tell yourself. You look at your dome of a belly and jiggle it again. You can hear something slosh around inside and the pressure builds up again. After cutting the cheese, you sit down in front of the chest and open it, going through its contents and breaking wind along the way.
All you find in the chest are various pieces of clothing. Ranging in sizes, most are normal, though few would fit you. One of the things that manages to catch your eye is a mechanic's jump suit- the kind that are blue with snap buttons all down the front. It looks like it would fit across your broad shoulders, but it looks pretty roomy around the waist. The strange thing you notice about it is that it has a kind of tie around sash, made out of the same material, around the waist. There's a small fold that it disappears into at the back. Thinking that would act like a belt, you pull one end, expecting the other to eventually be dragged through, but you find that it doesn't- the material just keeps on coming.
"Weird *urp*." The small belch alerts you to the fact that while you're fairly bloated, you're still pretty thirsty.
You get up and find another can, and notice that not all of them are the same colour. Sticking with blue, you pop it open and chug about two thirds of it's contents. You look down at your gut and see that it's even bigger now- it looks like you managed to swallow a fully inflated basket ball. You shake it and see it rise a little again, and your gas is back with a vengence. Putting it off to the carbonation of the drink you return to the clothes.
Another item you find is an old wrestling uniform. This one is a little strange as it has a pull tab attached to the seam. You pull it and you hear a faint hissing sound. You realise that the uniform is inflating somehow. It manages to get to pretty decent size, a few feet across, until it stops. You press down on it and find that it's pretty firm, and would probably float.
"Would probably make *uuuurrrrp* for a good life jacket or something." You look around for a valve to release the gas, but can't find any. Looking at the pull tab, you see something in small print:
"Fart to release." Figuring that it won't be a problem, you let one off and find that as you do, the suit begins to shrink. It stops deflating with the end of your fart, so you let another one rip and see that it shrinks with each of your releases.
"Cool." You scrunch you face and push a long fart out, lasting for half a minute. The suit manages to completely deflate, and you're left a little tired from your efforts.
You finish your second can and crush it. Throwing it aside, you notice something bright red underneath a few other articles of clothing.
"A Santa Clause outfit?" You pull out the iconic red jacket. You reach down to pick up the pants too quickly and you jostle your stomach.
"Omph." You rub you gut as the pressure increases. Looking down, you see that your cargo shorts are straining around your bloated waistline. Maybe you should change into something a bit more roomy until you can fart this out?
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