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 |   As the first blog entry got exhausted. My second book |
| Evolution of Love Part 2 |
Spiritual Initiation by Sri Ma Sri Ma has never considered Herself a Guru. But scores of people from near and far have repeatedly come to Her for spiritual guidance. Ma never initiated anyone in the customary way, but many devotees have received shakti, Bhagavatnam or a mantra from Ma. It is said that when Gurudev, by His mercy and compassionate glance, has pity on his disciples, that is actually the initiation (diksha). This initiation or transferring of power can happen through different means by Mantra, sight, touch, exchange of articles etc. Even the subtle bodies have had initiation from Sri Ma. Ma had an infinite number of ways for Her devotees. Sometimes, during public meetings, She would turn Her attention towards somebody with great intensity. This was not without reason. The person who had been looked at, would get blessings and power for a lifetime to experience illumination. A disciple recollected that once, he was in a queue for Ma's darshan. When his turn came, he stood aside. Suddenly he felt light from Ma's eyes filling his whole body. He always wanted Diksha or Naam only from Ma. Thus his desire was fulfilled in this way. In another incident, which was narrated by ashram's Maitreyee Didi, a foreigner came for Ma's darshan to Kankhal ashram. This was a as a result of some dream he had back home. Upon reaching Kankhal, he came to know that Ma was in Delhi. When he reached Delhi Ashram, Ma was not keeping well. But Her mood was transformed once this person came to Her. God knows what transpired between Ma and the visitor in that meeting which lasted only a few minutes. Ma asked for Prasad to be given to him. She also gave him a small towel as a present and said, "Baba, you must be busy in your business the whole day, but always remember each day the moment of this meeting at this very time, like the alarm clock is set daily at a particular time. So also remember this fixed time and do not break it." The foreigner came away with so many things at that moment of truth, which so many others could not perhaps get after years in Ma's company. It was Swami Bhaskarananda who acted as the interpreter on Ma's behalf. Overwhelmed, the person made obeisance and left the ashram. Ma had asked him to remember this moment without fail.The foreigner had left but Ma was now full of life. She narrated an anecdote to those present. “A Lotus, which had flowered in a pond, was very beautiful. A passer-by was attracted by it. He asked a fish and a frog, who were also in the pond, about that flower. Both replied, "what is so special in that? It's an ordinary flower." At that time, a bee flew by. As it was going towards the flower, the passer-by tried to stop it and speak to it. The bee quickly replied, "wait, I will tell you onmy return." After sometime, it came back and said, "don't you know that it is lotus flower, full of nectar. I have drank that and now I am totally transformed." Ma said, "It is possible to be in the company of Mahatmas for a long time without understanding them or their vision. But one who is deserving will get the real thing in a few moments...for that matter, even flies and mosquitoes are also there. Another incident heard and later confirmed by Swami Bhaskarananda, was the visit of Gadadhar's parents, after his untimely death in India. The mother of late Gadadhar came for Sri Ma's darshan at the ashram. They were staying in some hotel and his mother was due for her initiation next day. At that time when she was shown some written words as a mantra she exclaimed "Oh Lord". It so happened that at 4 o'clock on the morning of Diksha, she suddenly woke up in her hotel to find the entire room filled with an aura. And she heard those same words which were shown to her at the time of Diksha." Ma's Wonderful Ways One day, at the Annapurna temple of Kashi ashram, a small girl sang a beautiful religious song. So pleased was Ma that in Her kheyal, She decided to present her something. But any worldly thing as a gift would not match the soul-stirring rendering of the little girl. Suddenly, She had a kheyal that the queen of Charkhari had presented Ma with Tulsi leaves, inscribed with Bhagavat Naam or Mantra. Ma gave this girl one of those Tulsi leaves. She gave the same to a few others present. Some others requested Ma for this and received the holy leaves. Similarly Ma has also given 'Bilva patras' in this way. Receiving Naam or mantra from Ma like this has been considered as Diksha by Ma. In later years, there was a flood of 'Naam'. So many who came for Ma's darshan were asked which name they preferred? When they replied, they were advised by Ma to repeat the same name daily. A very interesting episode is mentioned here: Ma was in Vindhyachal ashram. My sister and her children, the 7-year old daughter and 5 year old son, were also there. Ma asked the children which name of God they liked the most? The daughter, the older child, was able to answer but not the son. Thrice he was asked. On each occasion, he pronounced his own name 'Anand'. Finally, Ma clapped joyfully and asked him to repeat Anand, Anand daily. Both these children are now grown-up. As far as I know, for all these years they have been doing what Ma had asked them to do. Once when Haribaba was sick, on his request Ma had pronounced the 12-letter mantra (Om Namo Bhagavate Basudevai) twelve times. Later, She sung in Her divine voice on several occasions. These mantras have been received by several devotees who do Japa with utmost devotion and faith and take it as initiation. Once, two girls came to Ma and requested initiation from Her. Ma asked them, 'Which name do you like? Whichever name you like, repeat that at least 1 Lakh times and then try to see This body.' Later Ma said that depending on the cultural characteristics, someone is told immediately and someone is told this way." One another occasion, a man asked Ma for Diksha. Ma said, “only God gives Diksha here.” One can interpret these words as one wishes.Ma's devotees have a variety of experiences. Ma has said, "My Guru is Jagatguru (the master of this universe). Jagatguru is my Guru. This is also the state of Vishwa Guru (Universal Guru). |
| TO REPEAT HIS NAME IS TO BE IN HIS PRESENCE; IF YOU ASSOCIATE WITH THE SUPREME FRIEND HE WILL REVEAL HIS TRUE BEING TO YOU "Inquire: 'Who am I?' and you will find the answer. Look at a tree: from one seed arises a huge tree; from it comes numerous seeds, each one of which in its turn grows into a tree. No two fruits are alike. Yet it is one life that throbs in every particle of the tree. So, it is the same Atman everywhere. All creation is That: There is beauty in the birds and in the animals. They too eat and drink like us, mate and multiply; but there is this difference: we can realize our true nature, the Atman. Having been born as human beings, we must not waste this opportunity. At least for a few seconds every day, we must inquire as to who we are. It is no use taking a return ticket over and over again. From birth to death, and death to birth is samsara. But really we have no birth and death. We must realize that." "To believe in Him under any particular form is not enough. Accept Him in His numberless forms, shapes, and modes of being, in everything that exists. Aim at the whole and all your actions will be whole." "Joys and sorrows are time-born and cannot last. Therefore, do not be perturbed by these. The greater the difficulties and obstructions, the more intense will be your endeavor to cling to His feet and the more will your prayer increase from within. And when the time is ripe, you will gain mastery over this power." "Always bear this in mind: Everything is in God's hands, and you are His tool to be used by Him as He pleases. Try to grasp the significance of 'all is His'. and you will immediately feel free from all burdens. What will be the result of your surrender to Him? None will seem alien, all will be your very own Self." "Suffering is sent to remind you to turn your thoughts towards That which is real - to God who will give you solace." "Whenever you possibly can sustain the flow of a sacred Name. To repeat His name is to be in His presence. If you associate with the Supreme Friend, He will reveal His true being to you." "Just as fire burns away all dross and rubbish, so the three-fold suffering purges man's heart from all impurity and results in a growing single-mindedness in his search after Truth. When he becomes deeply conscious of his weakness and tormented by the thoughts of his undesirable impulses and distressing characteristics, when afflictions like poverty, bereavement or humiliation make him feel his life is futile, then and then only does he develops real faith and religious fervor, and becomes anxious to surrender himself at the feet of the Supreme Being. Suffering should, therefore, be welcomed. Never does the soft moonlight appear more soothing than after the scorching heat of a summer day." |
| Sri Ma has never considered Herself a Guru. But scores of people from near and far have repeatedly come to Her for spiritual guidance. Ma never initiated anyone in the customary way, but many devotees have received shakti, Bhagavatnam or a mantra from Ma. It is said that when Gurudev, by His mercy and compassionate glance, has pity on his disciples, that is actually the initiation (diksha). This initiation or transferring of power can happen through different means by Mantra, sight, touch, exchange of articles etc. Even the subtle bodies have had initiation from Sri Ma. Ma had an infinite number of ways for Her devotees. Sometimes, during public meetings, She would turn Her attention towards somebody with great intensity. This was not without reason. The person who had been looked at, would get blessings and power for a lifetime to experience illumination. A disciple recollected that once, he was in a queue for Ma's darshan. When his turn came, he stood aside. Suddenly he felt light from Ma's eyes filling his whole body. He always wanted Diksha or Naam only from Ma. Thus his desire was fulfilled in this way. In another incident, which was narrated by ashram's Maitreyee Didi, a foreigner came for Ma's darshan to Kankhal ashram. This was a as a result of some dream he had back home. Upon reaching Kankhal, he came to know that Ma was in Delhi. When he reached Delhi Ashram, Ma was not keeping well. But Her mood was transformed once this person came to Her. God knows what transpired between Ma and the visitor in that meeting which lasted only a few minutes. Ma asked for Prasad to be given to him. She also gave him a small towel as a present and said, "Baba, you must be busy in your business the whole day, but always remember each day the moment of this meeting at this very time, like the alarm clock is set daily at a particular time. So also remember this fixed time and do not break it." The foreigner came away with so many things at that moment of truth, which so many others could not perhaps get after years in Ma's company. It was Swami Bhaskarananda who acted as the interpreter on Ma's behalf. Overwhelmed, the person made obeisance and left the ashram. Ma had asked him to remember this moment without fail.The foreigner had left but Ma was now full of life. She narrated an anecdote to those present. “A Lotus, which had flowered in a pond, was very beautiful. A passer-by was attracted by it. He asked a fish and a frog, who were also in the pond, about that flower. Both replied, "what is so special in that? It's an ordinary flower." At that time, a bee flew by. As it was going towards the flower, the passer-by tried to stop it and speak to it. The bee quickly replied, "wait, I will tell you onmy return." After sometime, it came back and said, "don't you know that it is lotus flower, full of nectar. I have drank that and now I am totally transformed." Ma said, "It is possible to be in the company of Mahatmas for a long time without understanding them or their vision. But one who is deserving will get the real thing in a few moments...for that matter, even flies and mosquitoes are also there. Another incident heard and later confirmed by Swami Bhaskarananda, was the visit of Gadadhar's parents, after his untimely death in India. The mother of late Gadadhar came for Sri Ma's darshan at the ashram. They were staying in some hotel and his mother was due for her initiation next day. At that time when she was shown some written words as a mantra she exclaimed "Oh Lord". It so happened that at 4 o'clock on the morning of Diksha, she suddenly woke up in her hotel to find the entire room filled with an aura. And she heard those same words which were shown to her at the time of Diksha." Ma's Wonderful Ways One day, at the Annapurna temple of Kashi ashram, a small girl sang a beautiful religious song. So pleased was Ma that in Her kheyal, She decided to present her something. But any worldly thing as a gift would not match the soul-stirring rendering of the little girl. Suddenly, She had a kheyal that the queen of Charkhari had presented Ma with Tulsi leaves, inscribed with Bhagavat Naam or Mantra. Ma gave this girl one of those Tulsi leaves. She gave the same to a few others present. Some others requested Ma for this and received the holy leaves. Similarly Ma has also given 'Bilva patras' in this way. Receiving Naam or mantra from Ma like this has been considered as Diksha by Ma. In later years, there was a flood of 'Naam'. So many who came for Ma's darshan were asked which name they preferred? When they replied, they were advised by Ma to repeat the same name daily. A very interesting episode is mentioned here: Ma was in Vindhyachal ashram. My sister and her children, the 7-year old daughter and 5 year old son, were also there. Ma asked the children which name of God they liked the most? The daughter, the older child, was able to answer but not the son. Thrice he was asked. On each occasion, he pronounced his own name 'Anand'. Finally, Ma clapped joyfully and asked him to repeat Anand, Anand daily. Both these children are now grown-up. As far as I know, for all these years they have been doing what Ma had asked them to do. Once when Haribaba was sick, on his request Ma had pronounced the 12-letter mantra (Om Namo Bhagavate Basudevai) twelve times. Later, She sung in Her divine voice on several occasions. These mantras have been received by several devotees who do Japa with utmost devotion and faith and take it as initiation. Once, two girls came to Ma and requested initiation from Her. Ma asked them, 'Which name do you like? Whichever name you like, repeat that at least 1 Lakh times and then try to see This body.' Later Ma said that depending on the cultural characteristics, someone is told immediately and someone is told this way." One another occasion, a man asked Ma for Diksha. Ma said, “only God gives Diksha here.” One can interpret these words as one wishes.Ma's devotees have a variety of experiences. Ma has said, "My Guru is Jagatguru (the master of this universe). Jagatguru is my Guru. This is also the state of Vishwa Guru (Universal Guru). This supreme connection is with everyone. |
1. " God Moves Mountains, Maybe Sometimes Only ONE PEBBLE AT A TIME............." 2. " You were Born and with ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES, Very Few Ever To Be Realized. ITS OK. Life was Never about What You COULD do, But What YOU WOULD DO........." 3. " A SINCERE Promise, Coupled with A HELPING HAND, can Bring HOPE where Before There Had Been Only Despair......" 4. " There are NO Hopeless Situations, ONLY People Who Have Grown Hopeless About Them. You STILL Have Choices YOU CAN MAKE........." 5. " Do NOT Spoil WHAT YOU HAVE by Desiring what you have not; REMEMBER that What YOU NOW HAVE Was Once Among The Things YOU ONLY HOPED FOR..........." AND DO REMEMBER..... 6. " There is a CRACK IN EVERYTHING.. THAT IS HOW THE LIGHT GETS IN........" AMEN TO THAT......... |
| *Why Indian Husbands remain faithful disciples of their wives ?*. I will tell you my personal story as to why I remain faithful to my wife. It is just for survival. Her multitasking always amazed me, especially when it came to chemistry. It was 8 in the morning. In the kitchen, my wife was checking the viscosity of the sambar, the solubility of chutney and the permeability of coffee, all at the same time. The huge number of multisized, multilabel bottles and cans on the shelf in front of her, looked like a 17 th century alchemist lab with containers of different shapes and sizes labeled in Hebrew and Arabic. Hebrew and Arabic you can learn, but here it was a different challenge. The ‘Horlicks’ bottle contained chili powder, The ‘Bournvita’ tin, salt, while the oats tin had turmeric. I won’t be surprised if the rat poison cover had pickles in it. But even without the blink of an eye she confidently opens a container labeled Britannia biscuit , puts a little masala powder in one of the cookers, and put it off. No watches to time, no weighing scale to go by. But then suddenly, there was this call from the department of physics. The milkman has come with the milk. Even without a lactometer she predicted that the milk did not meet the required specific gravity to be deemed fit for human consumption, adult, pediatric and our pet cat included. The simultaneous arrival of the old newspaperwalla needed supervision in weights and measures department, which she did with accuracy eligible to earn an ISO certification. Within the next 20 minutes she noted that the particulate matter in the tap water was alarmingly high (to me it seemed usual) and made sure that no one used it for drinking. By noon she discovered an unusual biologic phenomena of slowing of the movement of our goldfish in our jerry can sized aquarium and predicted that the prognosis and outcome was poor. With my postgraduate degree in medicine, I did not find the fish too abnormal but uttered an “yes yes”, more to avoid an argument than anything else. By evening 6 the goldfish died. She followed the exact norms of environmental safety in disposal of the mortal remains with necessary prayers; identifying that the cause for the mortality was the new brand of fish food, without an autopsy. The arrival of the gardeners made her take critical decisions in the area of agriculture deciding on which manure would suit the mango tree better. And the financial wizard happily manages to run the home with a fiscal deficit starting by the end of third week of every month. It is said that management skills go beyond what you are taught in the B schools., However top grade they are, you need some special senses. I agree. Even if my salary check lies deep in my hospital coat pocket she smells it out by the time I park the car. Phenomenal I say. Isn’t it. Surprising that with all these qualifications, a working day from 6 am till 11 pm, and on call 24 hours a day, Indian housewives are still considered unemployed and have no organized Trade Union. Administering the department of Home, with two terrorizing kids is another matter I don’t want to discuss here, because, at least one of them is a young ‘Activist’. Today is the era of re-designation, where the department heads have become Directors, Managers rechristened as Chairman and owners as CEOs. Without call for a strike, we have decided to elevate and promote the good old, young at heart, all knowing housewife to a "Homemaker." She is happy with it! I have very little knowledge of chemistry, nature science, food and beverage or commerce or arts. I remain faithful to my wife, and I cling to her just for survival. Salute to all lovely women. |
| Self-correction: ‘The sun is simply bright. It does not correct anyone.’ Bhagavan taught that one should reform oneself rather than find fault with others. In practical terms, this means that one should find the source of one's own mind rather than make complaints about other people's minds and actions. I can remember a typical reply that Bhagavan gave on this subject. A devotee, who was quite intimate with Bhagavan, asked him, ‘Some of the devotees who live with Bhagavan behave very strangely. They seem to do many things that Bhagavan does not approve of. Why does Bhagavan not correct them?' Bhagavan replied, 'Correcting oneself is correcting the whole world. The sun is simply bright. It does not correct anyone. Because it shines the whole world is full of light. Transforming yourself is a means of giving light to the whole world.' Once, while I was sitting in the hall, someone complained to Bhagavan about one of the devotees who was sitting there: 'He is not meditating here; he is just sleeping.' 'How can you know that?' retorted Bhagavan. 'Only because you yourself gave up your meditation to look at him! First, see yourself and don't concern yourself with other people's habits.' Bhagavan sometimes used to say: 'Some people who come here have two aims: they want Bhagavan to be perfect and they want the ashram to be perfect. To achieve this goal they make all kinds of complaints and suggestions. They don't come here to correct themselves; they only come here to correct others. These people don't seem to remember the reason why they came to Bhagavan in the first place If they do one namaskaram to us they think that the ashram is then their kingdom. Such people think that we ought to behave like their slaves, only doing whatever they think we ought to do.’ |
| Question: Which of the two is better - to break down the door and enter, or, having broken down the ego, to remain lying in the doorway? Answer: In the first instance the ego still has confidence in its own power and capacity, while in the second it is a case of self-surrender - and therefore He is sure to let you see the Light Eternal through the open door. Question: Am I right to believe that you are God? Answer: There is nothing save Him alone, everyone and everything are but forms of God. In your person, also He has come here now to give darshan. Question: Then why are you in this world? Answer: In this world? I am not anywhere. I am myself reposing within myself. Question: What is your work? Answer: I have no work. For whom can I work since there is only One? Question: Why am I in the world? Answer: He plays in infinite ways. It is His pleasure to play as He does. Question: But I, why am I in the world? Answer: That is what I have been telling you. All is He, He plays in countless forms and ways. However, in order to find out for yourself why you are in the world, to find out who you are in reality, there are various sadhanas. You study and you pass your exams, you earn money and enjoy spending it. But all this is within the realm of death, in which you continue for life after life, repeating the same thing again and again. But there is another path too, the path of Immortality; which leads to the knowledge of what you really are. Question: Can anyone help me in this or must I find it out for myself? Answer: The professor can teach you only if you have the capacity to learn. Of course he can give you help but you must be able to respond, you must have it in you to grasp what he teaches. Question: Which is the best path to Self-knowledge? Answer: All paths are good. It depends on a man's samskaras, his conditioning, the tendencies he has brought with him from previous births. Just as one can travel to the same place by plane, railway, car or cycle, so also different lines of approach suit different types of people. But the best path is the one that the Guru indicates. Question: When there is only One, why are there so many different religions in the world? Answer: Because He is infinite, there is an infinite variety of conceptions of Him and an endless variety of paths to Him. He is everything, every kind of belief and also the disbelief of the atheist. Your belief in non-belief is also a belief. When you speak of disbelief, it implies that you admit belief. He is in all forms and yet He is formless. Question: From what you have said, I gather that you consider the formless nearer to Truth than God with form? Answer: Is ice anything but water? Form is just as much He as the formless. To say that there is only one Self and that all forms are illusion would imply that the Formless was nearer to Truth than God-with-Form. But this body declares that every form and the formless are He and He alone. Question: What have you to say about those who insist that only one religion is the right one. Answer: All religions are paths to Him. Questioner: I am a Christian . Answer: So am I a Christian, a Muslim, anything you like. Question: Would it be right for me to become a Hindu, or is my approach by the Christian way? Answer: If you are fated to become a Hindu, it will happen in any case -just as you cannot ask: "What will happen in case of a car accident?" When the accident occurs, you will see. Two blind men came. One asked: “How does one get the vision of God? Tell me the easiest way to it?” Ma: By seeking Him for His own sake. Question: Which is better, devotion or the path of knowledge? Ma: Adhere to God’s Name. Repeat His Name day and night and get engrossed in the sweetness of His Name. The second blind man: Mataji, give me your blessing. Ma: Pray to God and you will feel His blessing. A lady: You said: “Seek God for His own sake”. But if one seeks Him with selfishness, will he also attain to Him? Ma: Of course, if you seek God —with whatever motive— you will get something of Him, and if you pray for anything of this world you will also get it. But these things are not worth asking for. One should not seek God with any motive, but only for His own sake. Seek God because it is your nature to do so, because you cannot remain without Him. Whether and when He reveals Himself to you is His affair. Yours is to call out to Him constantly, not to waste your energy on anything else. It is not right to compare and reason saying: “Such and such a person has done sadhana for so many years and yet has not got anywhere”. How can you judge what is happening to anyone inwardly? Sometimes it seems that a person who does sadhana seems to have changed for the worse. But how do you know that this tendency has not always been in him and has now come out so that it may be dealt with and purified as a result of his endeavors? To say: “I have done so much sadhana but have not been transformed”, is also the wrong attitude. Yours is only to seek God and call out to Him unceasingly and not look to the result of what you are doing. The Lady: Sometimes I feel desperate because I don’t seem to be able to progress. Mataji: You get desperate when you have desires and they remain unfulfilled. But when you aspire to God for His own sake how can you be desperate? |
| Mother said that there are two basic methods of meditation: One is to concentrate on the breath observing each inhalation and exhalation. Then when the mind has become stilled in this manner, one should practice vichara, inquiring "Who am I?" until the true Self is revealed. She said that in this way one becomes a light unto oneself. The second way is to think of one's mantra (or any name of God) with each inhalation and exhalation, feeling that both the Name and the Breath are none other than God Himself —the very breath of life— thus becoming fully absorbed in this devotional awareness. The first way is one of Jnana and the second of Bhakti. Again She told me to think of the Pranava [Om] as much as possible. She said: "It must become so automatic that you cannot breathe without remembering it. Do your personal mantra when you sit for meditation and the rest of the time the Pranava". SRI MA : Just as salt dissolves, so does the mind -is this your idea? From a particular angle of vision it may appear thus. In the case of a dissolution of this kind, a perfect yogi can resuscitate the mind again. Q : I was thinking of absolute destruction (nasa). SRI MA : Destruction ( nasa) or dissolution (laya)? Na Sa - means ‘not He’, na Sva* ‘not the Self’ - this surely is what is termed destruction ? Where destruction is destroyed, there is THAT. Do you call the annihilation of the ego-mind (manonasa) its dissolution (laya)? Q : How am I to grasp this? SRI MA : It is for the Guru to point out the method; he will show you the way to understanding and instruct you in your sadhana. It is for you to keep on practising it faithfully. But the fruit comes spontaneously in the form of Self-revelation. The power to make you grasp the Ungraspable duly manifests itself through the Guru. Where the question "How am I to proceed?" arises, fulfillment has obviously not yet been reached. Therefore, never relax your efforts until there is Enlightenment. Let no gaps interrupt your attempt, for a gap will produce an eddy, whereas your striving must be continuous like the flowing of oil, it must be sustained, constant, an unbroken stream. |
| Lakshmana Swami belonged to Gudur, Andhra Pradesh. When he arrived at the Ashram in the latter half of 1949, he was fully ready for the divine spark. I was brought up in my paternal grandfather’s house at Gudur. My father had died when I was less than two years old. In my seventeenth year, while still at school, an inexplicable incident changed my life. While sleeping in my family’s house, an unknown malevolent force appeared to descend on me. I woke up with a tremendous pressure bearing down on my chest. I felt that some unknown evil force was trying to kill me. Immediately and spontaneously the words ‘Rama’ ‘Rama’ erupted from within me with a great roaring sound. I did not decide to say these words; they just naturally burst out of me with great force. The evil presence vanished. I had never repeated this mantra before, nor had it occurred to me that this mantra had any power. Concluding that there must be some power in the mantra, I began to repeat it on a regular basis. At the same time, I also started doing pranayama. Soon after this strange incident, my lifestyle began to change. I started getting up at 3 a.m. and spend many hours in meditation. After I passed my final school exam, I decided to go for higher studies at Nellore, about 24 miles from Gudur. In the summer vacation of the college, I returned to Gudur, where I had my first major spiritual experience. Here I had found a dried-up lakebed as a good place for my pranayama. One evening, while I began my usual pranayama sitting in padmasana, the mind suddenly became concentrated and utterly still. There was a flash of light which encircled and engulfed me and within a few seconds, I lost all consciousness of the body. The effulgence of atman within impressed on me the fact that atman is God Himself in the physical body. My joy knew no bounds. The experience was brief. I tried on many occasions to repeat the experience but failed. I came to the conclusion that a guru in human form was necessary to bring about realization. On the last day of my second year at the college, I saw a large crowd congregated in the main lecture hall. I was not able to enter the hall as it was crowded. But looking over the heads of the students from the back of the hall, I could see the lecture being given by my English professor [G.V. Subbaramayya, no.41]. He was pointing to a portrait on the platform and saying that the sage in the picture was Ramana Maharshi. Up till that moment I had never heard of the Maharshi. However, as soon as I heard the name, I felt an irrepressible longing to see him. While returning home by train the following day, I saw a small booklet Sri Ramana Maharshi at the bookstore on the platform. I eagerly purchased it. On the first page of the book, I read the famous verse composed by the Maharshi himself, the first line of which was: “In the interior of the Heart cave the one Supreme Being Brahman shines as ‘I-I’, verily the Atman.” This verse made a deep and immediate impression on me. Towards the end of 1948, I worked as a clerk-typist for about five months in a local mica company because my family needed money. I had no interest in the job, from which I resigned in the beginning of 1949 after persuading my mother to accompany me on a trip to Sri Ramanasramam. While waiting to board the train to Tiruvannamalai, my mother started talking to two women and discovered that they were also heading for the Ashram accompanied by Satyananda Swami, a long-time devotee of the Maharshi. We were invited to join the party. Because we had arrived with a devotee well-known to the Ashram management, there was no problem in getting accommodation; but speaking to Bhagavan proved to be difficult due to a large number of people always around him. One day I saw Bhagavan sitting on a bench outside the hall, listening to a group of Brahmins chant from the Vedas. As I looked at the scene in front of me, the world completely lost its solid, substantial reality. I became aware that everything I perceived in that scene was nothing more than a dream-like projection. As I gazed at the scene I had the knowledge and the experience that the real Ramana Maharshi was not the body I saw before me, it was the formless effulgent Self that I had experienced on the dried-up lakebed in Gudur. I stayed only for three days on this first visit, but it was enough to convince me that in the Maharshi I had found the guru I had been seeking. I decided to change my japa from ‘Hare Rama’ to ‘Hare Ramana’; since I felt that I could avail of my guru’s grace by chanting his name. After three days, I left my mother at the Ashram and went back to Gudur to devote myself wholly to meditation. I decided to go to a village about 15 miles from Gudur, where my relatives helped me to build a small hut in a quiet spot. The constant repetition of the guru’s name made my mind very quiet. On a few occasions, it became absolutely still. When this happened, the question ‘Who am I?’ would spontaneously arise inside me, and, as if in answer to the question, my mind would automatically sink at its source, the Heart, and I experienced the bliss of the Self. At the end of about five months in the village, I was down with severe malaria and had to be taken to Gudur, where the doctor declared that I was likely to die. I, however, had a strong determination that I would not die until I had seen my guru again. I placed a picture of Bhagavan by my bedside and meditated on it throughout the ordeal. Whenever I looked at the picture I felt as if Bhagavan was laughing or smiling at me. I am convinced that it was the power and grace of Bhagavan that kept me alive and enabled me to make a full recovery within two months. I arrived at Sri Ramanasramam during the navaratri celebrations of 1949. In the afternoon of the Vijayadasmi day, I stood in front of the Mother’s shrine [See photograph no. 16 in the book], waiting for Bhagavan to appear. He came accompanied by Swami Satyananda, entered the new hall [Attached to the Mother’s shrine], and took his seat on the stone sofa. I went up to him and made a full prostration. When I stood up, he looked intently at me for a few moments. I withdrew and sat near a pillar outside the hall where I could do Self-enquiry undisturbed. Bhagavan could still see me from where he was sitting. Shortly afterwards, I saw Muruganar taking a seat close to Bhagavan. After a few minutes, Muruganar came and sat down next to me. A few other devotees came and sat near us. I closed my eyes and began meditation on ‘Who am I?’ Within a few minutes, the gracious smiling face of Bhagavan appeared within me on the right side of the chest. There was something like a lightning flash that resulted in a flood of divine light shining both within and without. Bhagavan’s face was still smiling on the right side of the chest. It seemed to be lit up with radiance that exceeded innumerable lightning flashes rolled into one. The bliss and joy these experiences gave brought tears to my eyes. Finally, the internal picture of Bhagavan disappeared and the Self absorbed my whole being. I remained in that state without body consciousness for about three hours. The experience was so intense that even when I opened my eyes I found myself incapable of either speaking or moving. I remained where I was for another three hours because I was incapable of movement of any kind. At about 9 p.m. I rose to my feet and very slowly made my way back to my allotted place in the men’s dormitory of the Ashram. Next day afternoon I went up to Sri Bhagavan, prostrated before him and handed him a note via his attendant Venkataratnam. The note, which I had written in Telugu said, “Bhagavan, in your presence and by the quest [Who am I?] I have realized the Self.” He read the note, looked at me for a moment, and then his face lit up in a radiant smile. For some time we looked at each other. Then he broke the silence by asking me where I had come from. “Gudur”, I replied. “That is in Nellore district, isn’t it?” Enquired Bhagavan. “Yes!” I answered. This was the only conversation I ever had with Bhagavan. After giving him those two brief replies, I didn’t speak again for another 13 years. As accommodation was in short supply at the Ashram, I found a small thatched house about 250 yards from the Ashram. I shared it with a boy called Raghavan, who was already living there. Since I had money and he didn’t, he agreed to do all the cooking for me. One of the first people to visit my new house was Venkataratnam, Bhagavan’s attendant. On his first visit, he said, “In all the years I have been Bhagavan’s attendant, I have never seen anyone present a note like this. I am experienced enough in the ways of Bhagavan to know that the beaming smile he immediately gave you was proof that the claim was genuine. He made no comment to me about your note and the message it contained, but he did ask me to check up on you to make sure that your needs are being taken care of and that you are properly looked after.” From that day on, Venkataratnam became a regular visitor. He would come and sit with me whenever his services were not required in the Ashram. Though I never sought to attract Bhagavan’s attention, he always seemed to know if I was in the vicinity, even if he couldn’t see me. On one occasion, when he was giving darshan in the new hall, his view of me was completely blocked by a newspaper that one of his attendants was holding. He asked the attendant to remove the newspaper and then beamed his usual smile at me. On the evening of April 14, 1950, I was cleaning my room in Palakottu when a picture of Bhagavan kept on a stool in the corner of the room fell to the ground. I put it back in its usual place, making sure that it did not fall again. A few minutes later it fell to the ground for a second time. I intuitively felt it as a sign that Sri Bhagavan was dead or dying. I had a strong urge to go to the Ashram, but could not leave as I became wholly absorbed in the Self for a period of about two hours. Consciousness returned shortly before 9 p.m., when I heard a great noise coming from the Ashram. I knew for certain that Bhagavan was no more. I rushed to the Ashram only to find that Bhagavan had attained mahasamadhi. I had seen Bhagavan for the last time earlier that day. On that occasion, as we looked into each other’s eyes, I experienced a strong wave of ecstatic bliss and I became completely oblivious of my surro- undings. I spent a total of seven months in Palakottu, mostly just sitting quietly in my room. Towards the end of this period, my skin turned yellow. Around November 1950, I finally decided that I would accept my brother’s offer to go back to Gudur to let my family look after me. 1. David Godman says that once he asked Lakshmana Swami why he had remained silent for so long. He replied, “The experience of Self is beyond words and speech. It is impossible to explain it or talk about it. Since there was nothing I could say about it, I kept quiet.” (The Power Of The Presence, part-II, p.222.) 2. A colony abutting on the Ashram. 3. David Godman states that Lakshmana Swami spent most of his next three years (after November 1950) in samadhi living in a small hut his family built for him. Because of his ascetic lifestyle, sitting in padmasana for 20 hours a day and rarely eating, he attracted a large following. From the mid-1950s on, he lived a secluded life in a house near Gudur that had been provided for him by a devotee. He began meeting people on a regular basis in the 1960s but always preferred to live a private, solitary life. Around 1990 he moved back to Tiruvannamalai. His biography Yogeeswara Sri Lakshmana is written by Ramana Das. |
Meditation means many things to many individuals and ranges from quiet brooding on a concept or an ideal to the beatitude of the highest spiritual contemplation. But in the sadhana propounded by the Maharshi, it strictly means, whatever the method, the attempt to still the thinking faculty, the perpetually-surging waves of the mind, in order that the calm ocean of pure awareness, from which they rise and on which they move, may be experienced. To beginners, this mind control appears to be a formidable feat, yet the Master encourages them to go ahead and practice – at all events to make a beginning. He constantly dins into us the inspiring notion that we are already Self- realized and that, if we are not aware of it, the obstruction to that awareness should be removed by investigation – vichara – which is as logical as it is simple. To hear it direct from him this “Self-knowledge”, rather the way to Self-knowledge, is “the easiest thing there is” (Atma Vidya); but, judging from the questions constantly asked of him, and later of his disciples, there appears to be the need for much spadework before its central idea takes a firm hold on the seeker. The Master’s obvious meaning seems to be that, even apart from the psychological efficacy of the vichara proper, preoccupying the mind with a single theme to the exclusion of all others, if doggedly practiced, will not fail to produce beneficial results. It will tend to reduce the oscillations of the thinking processes, and thus render the mind amenable to concentration on the supremely important work which is to follow, which by itself is a splendid achievement. Finding the answer to the query “Who am I?” is not the immediate burden of the practice in the beginning. Stability and fixity of the restless, mercurial mind is the first aim, and this can be achieved by constant practice and by frequently pulling oneself back to the subject of the meditation whenever the mind strays away. When the mind has attained an appreciable degree of concentration, which means of depth, it will be time to think of the answer. Some sadhakas are fortunate enough to begin with a mind already accustomed to concentration, either “naturally”, or by training, or through intense fervor, so that they are able to go straight to the application of the vichara, and thus make a more or less rapid progress, according to the intensity of their determination, without much strain. For the Master tells us that mental calmness, that is, controlled mind, is essential for a successful meditation. The next idea in the vichara seems to be that wherever, and for however long, one may search for the answer in meditation, one will certainly not find it in the physical body; for no part of it is intelligent enough to stand the test of analysis or answer the call. Even if the meditator takes his body as a whole and confers on it his name, say, Krishna or Peter, sooner or later he will discover that it is only his mind which is responsible for this as well as all other thoughts and sensations. Thus diligent search and keen observation eventually lead to the mind as the perceiver, desirer and enjoyer of a world which is entirely its own thoughts; for the mind cognizes naught but its own ideas. The final idea, one gathers, refers to the most vital stage of the vichara, when the foregoing fact has become a settled conviction and the seeker unabatingly continues his inquiry, this time no longer into the insentient body, but into the very nature of the mind, from which he has discovered the ‘I’ thought to have arisen. Meditation has by then taken a firm grip and has turned from an erstwhile painful and apparently fruitless effort to a joyful, eagerly-looked- forward-to performance, which can no longer be abandoned or even slackened. The thinking processes have by now considerably slowed down and with it, naturally, the restlessness of the mind. Profound peace and inner joy impel more frequent and longer meditation, which in turn reduces thinking still further, till the moment of full maturity is reached, when all of a sudden all thoughts completely cease, and the meditator, the ‘I’, having nothing to disturb or preoccupy him, spontaneously finds himself in his pure Being, which is the Absolute State or Substratum. This is what the second and third sutras of Patanjali’s yoga mean by saying: “Yoga is the suppression of the vritti (modifications of the thinking principle). Then the seer abides in himself.” And what is that Self in actual experience? Sri Bhagavan tells us that it is the Light which ever shines in the Cave of the Heart as the flame of the Consciousness ‘I’ ‘I’ – the eternal and blissful Sat-chit-ananda. This is the answer to the vichara and its fulfillment. The ‘I’, which has carried out a determined and protracted search into its own nature, has at long last found itself to be not other than the Pure Mind, the immaculate Being, which is eternally wrapped in blissful stillness. This is Turiya, the Fourth, or Samadhi. There remains nothing more for one to achieve but to consolidate this state into the permanent experience of Sahaja Nirvikalpa, which is the Great Liberation. Sadhakas take courage from the personal assurance of Sri Maharshi and the testimony of those who have found the Ultimate Peace, and relentlessly continue their efforts however sterile these may at first appear to be, strong in the belief of the descent of the Divine Grace on their endeavor to crown them with the greatest of all crowns, that of Supreme Enlightenment. - |
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