I am not a professional reviewer, but, I will do my best to give you a nice review.
Your writing was very good. I could feel the emotion behind what you had written. It's hard to love someone so much that it's hurtful, especially when they are crushing on other girls.
Writing can take you anywhere you want to go. You can pretend to be in love and have it work out, even though the real thing isn't there.
I think that you have the potential to write a good fictional version of romance. This way, you can have a happy ending no matter what.
I would like to give you some Gift Points and a Merit Badge, but, I'm saving up my points to earn a Premium Membership. My membership expires on August 15,2022.
I wish you the best in your writing. My thoughts are with you.
I am not a professional reviewer, but, I will do my best to give you a nice review.
I thought that you were off to a great start for your poem. No worries. Try writing down some names for titles. Even though you may only come up with one word, write it down and come back to it later. Add another word to it when you think of one. Pretty soon you will stumble upon a good title for your poem, story, etc.
I encourage you to keep writing. Don't give up. Practice makes perfect. You will find that it will get easier the next time.
I am not a professional reviewer, but I will do my best to give you a good review.
It is nice to have a sense of humor, especially when it can be your salvation. I've wondered what it would be like to be a jester. You were lucky that no harm was done when making jokes during the time of war. People are way too serious these day; it can even be dangerous when you've offended someone.
Your writing of, "License to Laugh (295 words) was a well written article. You should keep on writing. Even though I'm not so much one for hearing off color jokes, such as swearing, or hearing things that sound bad, I know that there are others who like to hear that sort of thing. I was glad that you were able to get a good laugh.
I am not a professional reviewer, but, I will do my best to give you a nice review. First of all I would like to welcome you to Writing.Com.
This story you wrote entitled, "Thoughts" was rather sad. Voices repeated in your head constantly belittling, or degrading you, and telling you things that aren't true to make you feel bad about yourself, are really not true, but you believe them anyhow. The best thing I have found when this happens is to talk back to these voices by saying, "I hear what you are saying to me, but I know that I am better than that. I am feeling sad right now, this is true, but I am going to get over this. Tomorrow is another day. It will be a bit better, and continue to get better, because I am going to believe in myself".
I encourage you to keep writing. It's good to get your feelings out there. I admire your courage to let people know what kinds of thoughts go through your head.
I'm hoping that you will feel better and remember that you are a good person who has a lot to offer. Keep telling yourself this. Eventually it will work.
I am not a professional reviewer, but I will do my best to write you a nice review.
Your story gave me some food for thought. I took psychology in my senior year of high school. This is when I read about Sigmund Freud. I get thoughts during the day or night (I call them daydreams), where I get my ideas about something new to write. Yeah, if someone were to interpret my dreams, they could be right on or a little off.
I enjoyed reading your material; it gave something to think about. Sometimes dreams are scary, especially when you find out later that it actually happened.
I would suggest that you find places where you can start a new paragraph. When there's no break in the story, it makes it a little bit harder to read. This is your story and you would know best where to start a new paragraph.
If you need help with this, I would recommend that you get someone that knows what they are doing and can best guide you.
I'm going to give you a five star rating, and I want to encourage you to keep writing.
I am not a professional reviewer, but I will do my best to give you a good review.
As I was reading your story entitled, "Untitled", I was thinking that it was hard for you to write. When Sophia was missing, and they had found that her car door was left open, her purse dumped on the ground, and identifying for sure that there was blood stains. I can imagine all kinds of thoughts going through my head about what had happened.
When Callie felt that she had to do some investigating on her own about
what had happened to Sophia, she remembered that Jason, (Sophia's boyfriend at the time), had accused her of sleeping around with the bar guys. Callie began to question whether she was at fault for Sophia's disappearance.
At the end of the story, Detective Roberts began to suspect her of something, but couldn't put his finger on exactly what it was, he started to investigate.
I thought that the story was well written. There were some places that I thought that some commas were needed, but since I have trouble with that myself, I would recommend that you find out from a professional reviewer.
I am not a professional reviewer, but, I will do my best to give you a nice review.
I don't know much about black holes, but one thing I have heard about them is that they're scary. I wouldn't want to be caught in one.
I picked out a part of your story that I found interesting. You started by saying that a black hole wasn't particularly unique. As black holes went, it was bland. Old. Almost dead.
Another part said, As you said, Time and distance are an illusion. So are we. The ship entered what little atmosphere existed and drove toward the source.
You won't escape, "The whisper taunted him".
Turbulence, Green/Blue/Red contact.
Reset.
I also liked the part where there was lightness rather than darkness.
You were descriptive about what you were telling about black holes in your story.
I want to encourage you to keep writing. I believe that you have more to tell in your story.
Anna Marie Carlson
Using Grammarly, it pointed out that rather than saying In fact, as black holes went, the words in fact should be omitted. After the sentence, As you said, Time and distance are an illusion. So is we, should be changed to So are we.
I am not a professional reviewer, but I will do my best to give you a nice review.
The poem you wrote, "Writing in the Rains", is the most beautiful poem about rain that I've read. I wrote a poem once, entitled, "Liquid Sunshine", where I described that as having sunshine even when it's raining.
I want to encourage you to keep writing. You have a special gift. I hope to be able to read more of your writings in the future.
Hello, H. Marie! I hope that your day is going well.
I am not a professional reviewer, but I will try my best to give you a review that you will be happy with.
I found your poem, "The Golden Rose" to be sad with some amount of positivity in there when you've lost your love.
I liked the word echo that was used in your poem. The last part of your poem which said, when fall let winter slay our golden rose is something that I can relate to. The winter goes by slowly and it can leave you feeling lost when there are no flowers around to bring hope or encouragement to make our days brighter.
I look forward to the spring when the days are brighter and all the flowers are out. It helps us to more cheerier.
I encourage you to keep writing. Writing brings hope and confidence; when dark days come into our lives, just expressing the way you feel in words can work wonders.
We're almost into summer, the flowers are out, and am wishing you the best by bringing back that golden rose.
I am not a professional reviewer, but I will do my best to give you a nice review.
I enjoyed your story, "Twin Flame" about the experience you have with your lady friend of how much she means to you. Being that I'm not an professional reviewer, I would change the wording a little bit to make it easier reading. I would suggest that you check with someone who is experienced in this area.
I want to encourage you to keep writing. From reading your story, I can tell that she is special to you. This would make an excellent story. This shows a kind-hearted person who is devoted to the woman he loves.
I am not a professional reviewer, but I will do by best to give you a review that you will be happy with.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your script play. The comedy was fantastic; it reminded me of myself; I'm my own worst critic. I rewrite things over and over again until I'm satisfied with what I've written. There have been times when I'm a bit leary of sending something in because I may feel that it's not good enough, but, rather than give up on it, I send it in. I end up being happy with the reviews I get, listen to what they have to say, and work on trying to improve.
I want to encourage you to keep on writing; I believe you have the potential to be a comedic writer. If you can be your own worst critic and be able to laugh about it afterwards, then you've got it made.
You can overcome the criticism by believing in yourself. Take a chance and turn in what you've written and see what happens. You can be surprised by the results.
I look forward to reading more of your material. You can do this.
I am not a professional reviewer, but I will do my best to do a good review for you. In paragraph one, you wrote something glowed the way a shadow glows on a photographic was a good description that caught my attention.
In paragraph two, canopy of a giant tree was a phrase that sounded good.
Paragraph three talked about where your story took place, which was in Central America. It mentioned cocoa farm in the valley, next day we would head to the Pacific coast.
Paragraph four showed action - Papa drove a small Suzuki along the curving mountain roads and through a rolling green landscape that reminded me of the shire in the Hobbit. It also mentioned, Sat in back with my sister Nicola, who was nine. narrowly avoiding oncoming trucks on several one lane bridges.
I can picture the stepmother in paragraph five the fear she was feeling when you wrote, my stepmother screamed at each turn. She would shout, "Watch out", or "Careful" at every bus, low shoulder or hole in the road. my sister could predict a screen was abiyt ti cine abd wgusoerm "Cover your ears".
Overhead hung a giant flower like something out of Jurassic Park, a greenish yellow chandelier with a cluster of thick tubular petals around a smooth purplish cone.
I encourage you to keep writing. You use good descriptions in your story that someone would like to continue reading.
I am not a professional reviewer, but I will try my best to give you a good review.
I enjoyed reading your article entitled, "Why People Gain Weight". Gaining weight is bad for your health, and there are many reasons why people gain weight. One reason would be because of depression. If this was the case, the person who is overweight doesn't want to hear from people negative comments about their weight, because they already know that they're overweight, and to put them down only makes matters worse; they tend to want to eat more. What they need is encouragement and caring to help them get the motivation to lose weight. My own experience has been that I gained weight because I overate. That was my fault, but getting encouragement from others with a caring attitude helps to get the drive to want to do something about it. I am overweight and its hard to take the pounds off.
I thought that your article was great. I want to encourage you to keep writing. Believe in yourself and pat yourself on the back for doing such a good job.
I am not a professional reviewer, but I will do my best to do a good review for you.
First and foremost, I would like to encourage you to keep writing. As a writer, you will receive many rejections before you get the publishing company that will like your story. It's easy to become doubtful when you find that there are people that don't like what you're writing, but, cheer up. Once you get the courage to publish your story, you may find that there are people out there who can benefit from hearing how you have overcome an obstacle in life or having a good imagination for writing a great story.
I was afraid to write about myself, but it was something that I wanted to do. Finally, I decided that I would get my story out there. If I didn't do that, I wouldn't know if I had the potential to become a writer.
Try not to be discouraged by what other people think. Believe in yourself. You can do this. Don't throw away something that you enjoy. I hope that you will continue to pursue your dream. Keep up the good work, and don't doubt yourself.
I am not a professional reviewer, but I will give it my best shot at reviewing, "The Girl that Lived in a Closet" for you.
This was a sad story that was well written. The girl that lived in the closet was a teenager that used to be free-spirited, yearning for fun and excitement, and wanted to experience new things, even if they were beyond her maturity and comprehension. She was someone who was content and happy in live.
Then, something happened in her life that caused her to isolate herself into a closet. No one noticed that she was gone or even called for her. She was very depressed because she wouldn't come out of the closet, except when she needed to go to the bathroom. She stayed for two more weeks in the closet; it didn't say how long prior to that that she was hiding in the closet, but could tell that it was for quite a while.
When she came home, she was broken and had no desire for life. This is when she needed someone the most. Depression can do that for someone, leaving them feeling a loneliness that no one understands but themself. Sometimes, they know that they are feeling sad, but don't know what is causing the sadness themself.
The girl that lived in the closed suffered a loss. It could be due to a death of someone close to her, or having a difficult time dealing with the pressures of life. If she could start journaling, then, perhaps, this could bring her out of depression.
I can relate to this story because I have been in this situation when my mother passed away. My family dropped me cold and couldn't understand why.
I encourage you to keep writing. Hopefully, the girl who lived in a closet can find the happiness that she so deserves.
I am not a professional reviewer but I will do the best that I can to review your writing of "That Chair There".
I throughly enjoyed reading your story. It sounds to me that being a kid was hard to do what you were supposed to do. I have heard time and time again that you should listen to your mother, but as teenagers or younger, we tend not to do that. As kids, we tend to feel guilty for doing the wrong thing. In this case, your mom was happy with that chair. It was comfortable for her.
Sometimes, we get put on restriction or get punished for not listening to our mother's. Hopefully the kid in this story didn't have to suffer anything bad as a consequence for their actions.
Remember next time to listen to your mother, however sometimes the kids could be right. It does pay to listen to your mother.
I hope that this helps.
I am going to send you 400 Gift Points for doing such a great job on your story. I encourage you to keep on with your writing. Have a great day.
I would like to be considered for a promotion. I may have a ways to go before getting there, but if I qualify to be a preferred author, I would love it.
My name is Anna Marie Carlson and I am doing this review on "Love Story" for my "Rising Stars" class.
This is a sad story, but yes, I can totally relate to your story. To find that the love of your life tells you that he loves you, you believe him, only to find out that he didn't mean what he said. Yes, even though I don't like to swear, Damn him sounds appropriate.
I enjoyed reading your story. I want to encourage you to keep writing. Your description of how you felt about this guy who broke your heart after you made love. I liked how you referred to vampires as being linked to death, and how it compares to losing someone who broke your heart. Which one would be would you risk more? You chose the love who broke your heart. I would've chosen the same thing.
I am going to send you some Gift Points for doing such a fine job. I hope that this will brighten up your day.
My name is Anna Marie Carlson and I am going to do an anniversary review for you from the "Rising Stars" class. I will do the review for "This world has already ended."
It is sad to think that the world has already ended because of a virus and the war. Even though we are living through this now, we need to have hope that we can live in a better world. I know it's hard to see the world in the shape it's in, especially when we remember the way things used to be.
It appears that you were going through depression when you wrote this poem. I know what it's like going through depression; I've been there. I hope that things are going better for you now. Your poem speaks a lot about what's going on (very descriptive). I encourage you to keep writing; you can do it. Lift your head up and look at the sky and remind yourself that things will get better even though it doesn't look like it right now. Hang in there.
I am going to send you some gift points. I hope that they will brighten up your day.
I am doing an anniversary review for you. Congratulations on your 17th year with Writing.Com. I am doing a review for you for the "Rising Stars" class.
I wasn't sure what to expect from the title of your story, "Wilting Sun Tavern - First Draft." I am not a drinker myself. I noticed the names of some dishes in your story; the first dish was called, "Roasted Hasmock"; I don't know what hasmock is, but it sounded interesting.
The character, Narva, blew out some purple smoke; this sounded interesting to me since I like the color purple.
I found the story interesting to read. I think that you deserve a five-star rating.
Let me re-introduce myself. My name is Anna Marie Carlson and I am doing this review from the "Rising Stars" class.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your poem, "It's A Life" which includes a dog. It's interested how you mentioned what's involved in the life of a dog. At the end of your poem, the dog 🐶 really didn't care as long as you rubbed its belly. It's like raising a child; a dog is an animal that brings much joy. It reminds me talking to a toddler; at the end the toddler just wanted some attention by getting a hug, kiss, or a gentle rub. After all, a toddler gets a lot of no responses (For example: No, No, No, you can't do that. The child 🧒 begins to cry because it doesn't understand why he/she is always getting into trouble. When they get the attention, they are smiling again being happy with the world).
My name is Anna Marie Carlson. I am doing a review for you from the "Rising Stars" class.
This story is sad because you had lost a very dear friend that you have known since the age of six. It is hard to do things in life without a friend that you had a lot of fun with growing up.
Your story talks about a father, who instead of reading a newspaper, read books to the kids. It's nice to know that there was no memory of any accidents with the dogs that caught fireworks in their mouths; this would've left a devastating mark as a young child knowing that a favorite pet had died.
I had a friend who had polio as well, who also passed away.
I'm glad that your friend had a happily married life and had kids, even when told not to, grew up to be good kids.
I enjoyed reviewing your story; sometimes, sharing a memory of someone who had passed on, helps to have a good memory to share.
I enjoyed looking over your portfolio and the things that you have put into it. I found it to be very interesting. Thank You for accepting me as a friend on facebook and messenger. I hope that you had a great week and will have a nice weekend. You and I will figure out the crossword puzzle soon. With a little bit of faith, we can move mountains.
Anna Marie Carlson
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