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698 Public Reviews Given
972 Total Reviews Given
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Firm yet fair.
I'm good at...
Poetry and short stories.
Favorite Genres
Historical fiction and fantasy. I also love any type of poetry, especially form poetry.
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Sci-fi.
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Short story, poetry, chapter.
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Public Reviews
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201
201
Review of Destination  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Greetings Vulpes Vulpes ,

I found your poem on the Request Reviews page and thought I'd take a look. Here are my thoughts.

DICTION, TONE, VOICE:

The voice is first person and the tone is soft, one of remembrance. The diction is average.

SOUND PATTERNS:

Alliteration with "Left letters," "downpour day, drove," "T'was time" and "I'd done, drove."

*RainbowL*IMAGERY:

The sun, letters, tracks, sedan, rain, faces and a cloud. Nice imagery.

LINE STRUCTURE: LINE BREAKS, METER, REPETITION, AND RHYME:

Line breaks were good with proper punctuation. Meter was consistent. There was a lot of repetition of "Drove my sedan far away" to the point where it became a bit much. Rhymes, however, were simple and worked.

ERRORS:

None found.

NEEDS WORK:

The repetition.

*Heart*FAVORITE LINES:

"Grew hard to see clear,
T'was time to persevere.
Unsure of where I'd gone,"

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

This was an interesting story poem about someone who was leaving an old life behind to start anew, but with each stanza it seemed like he kept leaving on different occasions. Then in the end, he went backwards, and returned to his old life, regressing. It's something many can relate to. Very well done.

Thanks for sharing your talent with us, and keep writing! *Reading**Writing*

April

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202
202
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings lmmortal ,

I found your poem on the Request Reviews page. Here are my thoughts.

DICTION, TONE, VOICE:

Voice is first person, and tone is one of adoration, and then melancholy. Diction is outstanding.

*RainbowL*IMAGERY:

Ocean floors, veins, treasures, wings, dove, lilies and winter flowers. All vivid images.

LINE STRUCTURE: LINE BREAKS, METER, REPETITION, AND RHYME:

Line breaks were good, and the lack of punctuation seemed to work well. Meter was near perfect except the line "Two souls shall reunite with no rhythm or chimes" which had one metrical foot too many. Rhymes were good.

ERRORS:

No technical/spelling errors found.

NEEDS WORK:

The one line above.

*Heart*FAVORITE LINES:

"Fear engulfs the edges of your tough veins"

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

I felt the emotion coming through the lines of this poem. Two lovers have been separated, and the speaker of the poem is suffering immensely. The metaphors used were excellent. I greatly enjoyed this poem.

Thanks for sharing your talent with us, and keep writing! *Reading**Writing*

April

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203
203
Review of I Search but Find  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Greetings Ben Grafer ,

I found your portfolio on the Account Birthdays page and thought I'd take a look. Here are my thoughts on your poem.

This poem uses a good rhyming scheme. The concept is interesting. The speaker searches for one thing, but finds the opposite. First it's tranquility, then it's loudness. I liked the contrast. The voice used is first person. The only thing that I was confused about was the ending phrase, "I search but find." To me it would make more sense to say "I search and find," because the goal of one's searching would be to find something, so the "but" seemed awkward. Other than that, it was a great piece. I liked the lines "I search for the humble/I find the proud."

Thanks for sharing your talent with us, and keep writing! *Reading**Writing*

April

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204
204
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Greetings PreciousWords ,

I found your poem on the Account Birthdays page and thought I'd take a look. This poem sends a very powerful message about how people are destroying the earth. I liked how the suggestion was made to recycle, reuse and reduce. That's very important for the survival of our planet. I'm wondering if you could've touched upon how exactly people are destroying the planet, and go into detail about it. For example, CO2 emissions by everyone's cars, or the amount of garbage that everyone throws away and how there might not be enough landfills to contain it all pretty soon. Just to give us a more precise visual. I did like how you used the example of the animals, how they're going extinct and where are their homes, implying that they've been destroyed by us humans. A very impactful statement, and very true. The message of this poem was quite clear, so well done.

Thanks for sharing your talent with us, and keep writing! *Reading**Writing*

April

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205
205
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Greetings Ai Kizoku ,

I found your portfolio on the Account Birthdays page. Here are my thoughts on your poem.

DICTION, TONE, VOICE:

Voice is first person, tone is resentful, and diction is good.

SOUND PATTERNS:

Alliteration with "Destiny decided."

*RainbowL*IMAGERY:

Rags, peasants, food and wheels. Good imagery.

LINE STRUCTURE: LINE BREAKS, METER, REPETITION, AND RHYME:

Line breaks were good, meter could use some work as some lines had too many metrical feet, and rhyme N/A. Repetition of "Asking."

ERRORS:

"things that surrounds me" should be "things that surround me," and "calm and relax" should be "calm and relaxed."

NEEDS WORK:

Meter and errors above. I also would've liked to know what event it was that changed these people's lives, taking them from rich to poor so quickly.

*Heart*FAVORITE LINES:

"Because the wheels of fate just turned upside down"

That was a nice visual.

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

This was a powerful poem with an impacting story told in such a short piece. The word choice again was good and effective, and I felt the emotion coming through the lines. Well done.

Thanks for sharing your talent with us, and keep writing! *Reading**Writing*

April

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206
206
Review of Foster Street  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Greetings deborahY ,

I found your portfolio on the Account Birthdays page and thought I'd take a look. Here are my thoughts on your story.

Plot:

A woman is standing at the top of Foster Street, looking down the street, and then she encounters the bogey man.

*Woman**Man*Characters:

The woman and the bogey man. What was the woman's name?

Setting:

Foster street, at night.

Narration: Voice, Tone, Exposition, Metaphors/Similes, Basic Storytelling and Diction:

Voice was first person, tone was eerie, exposition was good and the diction was good as well. The storytelling set a dark mood and kind of made me scared to keep reading, so good job on that.

*Thought*Dialogue:

There was a complete lack of dialogue until the end when she whispered that one line to herself. I understand that it would be hard to have dialogue if she was by herself, but there's always a way.

Beginning and Ending:

The beginning had too much exposition and didn't move into the action quickly enough. The ending didn't seem like a complete ending at all, which I believe you hinted at in your intro above the story, so you might want to finish the story since it's pretty engaging.

Errors:

"At the dreams inception" should read "At the dream's inception." "A daffy duck quality" should be "A Daffy Duck quality."

Needs Work:

Dialogue, beginning and ending.

*Heart*Favorite Lines:

"Sanctity was there. All I had to do was move forward. Yet, I stood there as my eyes searched those shadows for the bogey man."

Summary:

This was a most interesting story. I can't help but wonder why the woman was standing on Foster Street at night in the first place, if she was so afraid of the bogey man? But people do things like that sometimes, I suppose. I didn't know what to expect from this story upon starting it, since the intro didn't give any hint at the content, but it kept me interested. Nice job.

Thanks for sharing your talent, and keep writing! *Reading**Writing*

April

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207
207
Review of The Labourer  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Greetings Axx ,

I found your portfolio on the Account Birthdays page and thought I'd take a look. Here are my thoughts on your story.

Plot:

A miner is making his way through a graveyard carrying a coffin and tools with which to dig a grave.

*Woman**Man*Characters:

The miner. I would've liked to know his name.

Setting:

The graveyard. What time of day was it?

Narration: Voice, Tone, Exposition, Metaphors/Similes, Basic Storytelling and Diction:

Voice is third person, tone is somber, exposition is well placed. Nice metaphor with "A lone pallbearer." Storytelling was wonderful and kept me on the edge of my seat with great details evenly spaced between action bits. Diction was excellent.

*Thought*Dialogue:

There was no dialogue.

Beginning and Ending:

The beginning first describes the man with a little bit of detail, then begins the action, which is well done. The story ends with action as well, and what action it is!

Errors:

"His ever beating heart" should be "His ever-beating heart."

Needs Work:

I would've liked to see some dialogue.

*Heart*Favorite Lines:

"For days he lay in the mine,
In the screaming blackness"

Screaming blackness was a superb choice of words.

Summary:

I did not see this coming. You did hint at the ending with his single coffin and being the only one in the graveyard, but I was so wrapped up in the story of his past that I didn't really see that until the end, which in my opinion came as a pleasant surprise. Bravo!

Thanks for sharing your talent, and keep writing! *Reading**Writing*

April

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208
208
Review of The Burning  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Greetings aflindsay ,

I found your portfolio on the Account Birthdays page and thought I'd pay it a visit. Here are my thoughts on your poem.

DICTION, TONE, VOICE:

Voice is first person, and tone is one of worry. The diction is average.

SOUND PATTERNS:

Alliteration with "deep/Down," and "first it was fun."

*RainbowL*IMAGERY:

Fire.

LINE STRUCTURE: LINE BREAKS, METER, REPETITION, AND RHYME:

Line breaks are good and punctuation is used well. Meter is inconsistent. Rhymes are okay, but the rhyming couplet "full/do" didn't match.

ERRORS:

No technical errors found.

NEEDS WORK:

I would've liked to see more imagery, and that one rhyming couplet could be altered slightly. I also didn't see a real connection with the description of the poem and its content. "What will be left after?" leaves me thinking that issue will be addressed in the poem, but it never was. I would've liked to see some elaboration on that.

*Heart*FAVORITE LINES:

"But it is too late,
At first it was fun."

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

This is an interesting poem that seems to be about some people (or children?) who I believe were playing with fire, and the situation just got out of control. It was a little vague, but the air of mystery worked well for this piece. Nice job.

Thanks for sharing your talent with us, and keep writing! *Reading**Writing*

April

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209
209
Review of Take Hold  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Greetings Jessie ,

I found your portfolio on the Account Birthdays page and thought I'd pay it a visit. Here are my thoughts on your poem.

DICTION, TONE, VOICE:

Voice is first person, and tone is one of encouragement and optimism. Diction is average.

SOUND PATTERNS:

No alliteration or echoes found.

*RainbowL*IMAGERY:

No real imagery found.

LINE STRUCTURE: LINE BREAKS, METER, REPETITION, AND RHYME:

Line breaks were a little abstract, but the punctuation was used properly. Meter N/A, but there were some internal rhymes. There was some repetition of "Let them," but it wasn't overdone.

ERRORS:

None found.

NEEDS WORK:

Maybe add some alliteration or echoes, just one or two since it's such a short piece, and fix the line breaks. Also add some imagery to spruce up the read and to give us a visual.

*Heart*FAVORITE LINES:

"Believe in yourself
and not in others
who tell you
differently."

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

This was a very uplifting and inspiring poem that makes one stop to think and ponder on life and how we perceive ourselves and our situation at hand. How much power do we give others to affect how we feel? Perhaps a little too much. We need to focus on our goals and never give up, and keep forging ahead no matter what anybody says or thinks about the matter. Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom. They're definitely helping me right now, as I do need them!

Thanks for sharing your talent with us, and keep writing! *Reading**Writing*

April

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210
210
Review of The First Wizard  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Greetings Owen Latchkey ,

I saw your portfolio on the Account Birthdays page and thought I'd take a look. Here are my thoughts on your interesting poem.

DICTION, TONE, VOICE:

Voice is third person, and tone is a bit dark and mysterious, yet forthcoming at the same time. The diction is excellent.

SOUND PATTERNS:

Alliteration with "wizard walks," "his hand," "blown by a breeze," etc.

*RainbowL*IMAGERY:

A wizard, the night, a hand, a blue sphere, green land, creatures, fire, ice, dust, and the ground. They all seem to pertain to nature, except for the wizard and the hand. Wonderful, specific images that I saw in my mind's eye.

LINE STRUCTURE: LINE BREAKS, METER, REPETITION, AND RHYME:

Line breaks were clean and well thought out, and the use of punctuation was well done and appropriate. Meter was good overall, but just a couple lines had one too many metrical feet, and can be found by reading it aloud. Repetition of the word "wizard" was found, but wasn't overdone. The rhyming scheme was interesting and worked well, and the rhymes themselves sounded good.

ERRORS:

None found.

NEEDS WORK:

Meter in a couple of lines.

*Heart*FAVORITE LINES:

"War wages between them, fire and ice,
Earth and air also, virtue against vice.
The powers of virtue win, in the end,
But the evil remains, for hearts to rend."

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

This was a great story told, and I love storytelling poems; they're not easy. The story itself was a new concept for me; that the earth was created by a wizard. Very nice and creative.

Thanks for sharing your talent with us, and keep writing! *Reading**Writing*

April

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211
211
Review of Winter  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Greetings T. L. Finch,

I found your portfolio on the Account Birthdays page and thought I'd pay yours a visit. Here are my thoughts of your poem.

DICTION, TONE, VOICE:

The voice is first person, and the tone is one of observation, but perhaps admiration at the same time. The diction is excellent.

SOUND PATTERNS:

Alliteration with "has been hard," "hastens humble," "credence to her crouch," "spring secrets softly flow/reflected" <-- (that sort of had a double alliteration with the S-S-S and the F-L in softly and F-L in flow and again in reflected -- wow!!!) Beautiful alliterations.

*RainbowL*IMAGERY:

Snow, bough, Hemlock, yard, Chickadees, Finches, seeds, and many more. Very well done, lovely images, most of them pertaining to nature, appropriate to the theme of the poem.

LINE STRUCTURE: LINE BREAKS, METER, REPETITION, AND RHYME:

Line breaks were clean and never felt awkward, meter flowed rather naturally, and I only found repetition with the words winter, snow, Hemlock and bough, and it worked well because they were in the first and last stanzas. The rhymes were well thought out, not sounding forced or trite.

ERRORS:

None found.

NEEDS WORK:

Sorry but I have no suggestions; I love it the way it is!

*Heart*FAVORITE LINES:

"spring secrets softly flow,
reflected in the rippled ice
where sunlit dreams will grow."

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

This is but a glimpse of what a winter's day looks like through the eyes of this poet, and a stunning canvas is painted for me to see. I liked how it started off with the line about the Hemlock in the yard, and it somehow looped back around to that. Exquisite writing.

Thanks for sharing your talent with us, and keep writing! *Reading**Writing*

April

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212
212
Review of Genie as a gift  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Greetings Nada Philippe (a.k.a: R.H.N) ,

I did a search for account birthdays and found your portfolio. Here are my thoughts on your interesting poem.

DICTION, TONE, VOICE:

Voice is first person, and tone is one of regret. Diction is somewhat average.

*RainbowL*IMAGERY:

A gift, birthday kid, best friend, golden lamp, and fingers. All good images.

LINE STRUCTURE: LINE BREAKS, METER, REPETITION, AND RHYME:

Line breaks were clean, birthday kid was repeated but not to the point where it became annoying, and death was also repeated, but it had a good effect on the poem. Meter N/A, rhyme N/A.

ERRORS:

None found.

NEEDS WORK:

Nothing, I liked it just the way it is!

*Heart*FAVORITE LINES:

"A death warrant was sent to his best friend."

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

I found this poem to be a bit cryptic, but in a good way, and I like cryptic poems as they make me read them a few times to really grasp the meaning of them, so good job on that *BigSmile* The story was sad, and I like poems that tell stories. You told the story well.

Thanks for sharing your talent with us, and keep writing! *Reading**Writing*

April

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213
213
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Greetings David ,

I did a search for Account Birthdays and found your portfolio. Here are my thoughts on your wonderful poem.

DICTION, TONE, VOICE:

Voice is third person, and tone is somber. Diction is good.

SOUND PATTERNS:

Loose alliteration with "sitting on the sidewalk," "stay sane" and "he hated." Very nice on the ears

*RainbowL*IMAGERY:

Sidewalk, box, rain, little girl, street, groceries, umbrella and the dad are all rich and varied images.

LINE STRUCTURE: LINE BREAKS, METER, REPETITION, AND RHYME:

Line breaks are clean, and the rhymes were solid. The meter was not uniform, so maybe read it aloud to see how it flows.

ERRORS:

None.

NEEDS WORK:

The meter.

*Heart*FAVORITE LINES:

"For the first time in forever, someone looked him in the eyes.
No matter what his future, he'd remember 'till he dies."

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

I love poems that tell stories. Frank's story is indeed a sad one, but you tell it so well. The pacing was smooth and it flowed really well. Very well done.

Thanks for sharing your talent with us, and keep writing! *Reading**Writing*

April

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214
214
Review of Trapped  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Greetings Scarlett ,

This piece was full of raw emotion, jumping out from the page. The voice was first person, the tone was dark and fearful, and the diction was excellent. I liked how the passage started out at the beginning of a person's life, from inside the womb, and cycled through the life until the end, when he/she will be "Encased for eternity, alone in the dark. Unable to even scream." That was my favorite line. It was nice to read something that was different for a change, something besides the usual fiction or poetry. Wish I could write non-fiction prose like this. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

April
215
215
Review of one and none  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Greetings AngelinTwilight ,

I wanted to review an item for someone's port who had an account anniversary today, so here I am. Here are some of my notes on your heartfelt poem, "One and None."

DICTION, TONE, VOICE:

The voice is first person, and the tone is dark, almost longing for something that cannot be. The diction is good.

SOUND PATTERNS:

Alliteration with "Never named."

*RainbowL*IMAGERY:

Sand, stars and world are good images, although there could've been a little bit more to add to the visuals of the verses.

LINE STRUCTURE: LINE BREAKS, METER, REPETITION, AND RHYME:

Lines consisted of fragments, therefore line breaks were somewhat rough, but worked nonetheless. Punctuation was okay, but the ... was overused, and it became trite after a while. Rhyme N/A, meter N/A.

ERRORS:

None.

NEEDS WORK:

Imagery and punctuation.

*Heart*FAVORITE LINES:

"Yet ever here I'll be...
forever shining.
Amidst the darkness blinding."

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

This was a truly dark piece, and the emotion was felt in every line. The true meaning has somewhat eluded me, and for that I am fascinated. I love mysterious poems, they make me read them over and over, and I read yours three times already *BigSmile* The air of mystery is good, it leaves the reader to interpret your work in their own way. Bravo!

Thanks for sharing your talent with us, and keep writing! *Reading**Writing*

April

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216
216
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings Beryl Greene ,

I found your poem on the Request Reviews page and here are my thoughts.

DICTION, TONE, VOICE:

Voice was first person, and tone was angry and sad at the same time. Well played. The diction was excellent.

SOUND PATTERNS:

Alliteration with "Fighting was futile" and "fall far." Like music to the ears.

*RainbowL*IMAGERY:

Heart, spirit, demon master, grave and stone are all rich and varied images. I was sort of expecting more in a longer poem as this was.

LINE STRUCTURE: LINE BREAKS, METER, REPETITION, AND RHYME:

Line breaks were clean, there was some repetition of words but not to the point where it became trite. Loose rhyming scheme was good, and the meter was off, but somehow worked.

ERRORS:

None found.

NEEDS WORK:

I thought it was fine just the way it was; sorry! I know we're always looking to improve upon our writing, but I thought this was lovely, in a dark sort of way *BigSmile*

*Heart*FAVORITE LINES:

"As my heart slowly rots, my spirit fading away
I have given in to your misery, suffering and your hate"

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

This was an interesting piece, one I actually had to read three times. I still haven't fully grasped its entire meaning, and for that I'm intrigued. I kind of got the feeling that the narrator was talking to himself? I could be ocmpletely off, but if he was, that was well done and totally interesting. I'd like how one could refer to oneself as the demon master; sort of giving the impression that the person had a split personality, the old proverbial angel and devil on their shoulders *Shock* It was definitely an interesting read, one I'd recomment to others here. Bravo!

Thanks for sharing your talent with us, and keep writing! *Reading**Writing*

April

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217
217
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings nvellis ,

I found your story on the Request Reviews page and I'm here to take a look.

Plot:

John is alone in his study after his wife's funeral when he is visited by one of his angel figurines come to life. It was, in fact, his wife in the form of the angel figurine.

*Woman**Man*Characters:

John, and his wife-turned-angel-figurine.

Setting:

John's study.

Narration: Voice, Tone, Exposition, Metaphors/Similes, Basic Storytelling and Diction:

Voice is third person, tone is melancholic, exposition is woven in artfully and in moderation, diction was excellent and storytelling was fantastic.

*Thought*Dialogue:

The dialogue was sweet and funny at the same time. It was sweet, what the angel-wife was saying, and funny what John was saying, about hallucinating and being drunk.

Beginning and Ending:

The beginning was okay, but the ending was a little confusing. I didn't know if he meant to use the gun on himself or what.

Errors:

“Hello John” It’s alright. I’m alright.” should say "Hello John, it's all right. I'm all right."

Needs Work:

The mysterious ending.

*Heart*Favorite Lines:

“If I’m not drunk, I must be hallucinating. Either way, you don’t scare me.”

Summary:

This was a sad tale of a lost loved one, and a visit she pays to her husband from beyond the grave. It's a little eerie, with a talking angel figurine and all, but I liked it because it was eerie *BigSmile* Well done.

Thanks for sharing your talent, and keep writing! *Reading**Writing* And feel free to check out my portfolio any time.

April

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218
218
Review of Yesterday  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings strlcuckoo ,

I found your poem on the Request Reviews page and thought I'd take a look.

DICTION, TONE, VOICE:

The voice is third person, and the tone is one of observation. The diction is superb.

SOUND PATTERNS:

Alliteration with "slides slowly."

*RainbowL*IMAGERY:

Candles, stars, sky, moon and sun all beautiful images. They all pertain to nature.

LINE STRUCTURE: LINE BREAKS, METER, REPETITION, AND RHYME:

ERRORS:

None.

NEEDS WORK:

Nothing, I loved it the way it is, sorry!

*Heart*FAVORITE LINES:

"Slowly disappearing
As candles by a breath,"

and

"The moon chased by the sun"

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

This was a wonderful ode to the passage of time, and how nature reflects it. Your imagery was striking, and I was surprised at how much there was in such a short piece. It did seem a bit short, but at the same time it seemed perfect, since you got the point across perfectly and didn't need more stanzas to do so. The art of being succinct is indeed a tough one, and you exhibit proficiency with it. Bravo!

Thanks for sharing your talent with us, and keep writing! *Reading**Writing*

April

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219
219
Review of Some Days  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings Ya Volk ,

Welcome to WDC! We're so glad to have you. I found your poem on the Request Reviews page and thought I'd take a look. Here are some of my notes.

DICTION, TONE, VOICE:

The voice is first person, and the tone is dark, almost one of desperation. The diction is excellent.

SOUND PATTERNS:

Some loose alliteration with "wield into the wounds" and "that they."

*RainbowL*IMAGERY:

A skull, clouds, sea, knife, heart, tongue, neck, chain, pendant, ice, sunrise and page are all rich images. Most are sinister in nature.

LINE STRUCTURE: LINE BREAKS, METER, REPETITION, AND RHYME:

Line breaks were mostly clean, rhymes were solid. The meter was almost perfect except for the second to last stanza which fell out of uniformity, with too many metrical feet in some lines. Read it aloud and you'll see what I mean.

ERRORS:

None found.

NEEDS WORK:

The second to last stanza.

*Heart*FAVORITE LINES:

"And some days I slip through the cracks in my skull
and fall from the clouds and down into the sea"

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

This was a dark poem about a tortured soul who is trying to find his way in life. His emotions seem to be all over the place, scattered, and I felt the confusion. The raw emotion was well conveyed. Bravo.

Thanks for sharing your talent with us, and keep writing! *Reading**Writing*

April

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Review of Shmoots  
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


Greetings albe ,

I did a search for the newest accounts created and found your portfolio. Welcome! We're so glad to have you.

DICTION, TONE, VOICE:

The voice is first person, and the tone is calm, almost at peace. The diction is average.

SOUND PATTERNS:

One instance of alliteration with "weak one."

*RainbowL*IMAGERY:

No actual images found, unless one can imagine what a soul looks like.

LINE STRUCTURE: LINE BREAKS, METER, REPETITION, AND RHYME:

Line breaks are clean, punctuation is good, there's repetition of "did not" but it wasn't trite, loose rhymes with "loose/all" and solid rhymes with "clear/fear," and meter was good until the very last line where there were too many metrical feet.

ERRORS:

None.

NEEDS WORK:

Imagery and last line of the meter.

*Heart*FAVORITE LINES:

"I want you just to know this,
You did not break my soul"

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

I felt the emotion throughout this entire poem. It's almost as if the narrator has made peace with the fact that his/her ex is no longer with him/her, and in fact, it's the ex who's consumed with fear. Well done.

Thanks for sharing your talent with us, and keep writing! *Reading**Writing*

April

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Review of Scent of Memories  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings BIG BAD WOLF is hopping ,

I found your poem on the Request Reviews page and thought I'd take a look.

DICTION, TONE, VOICE:

The voice is third person, and the tone is one of reminiscence. The diction is average.

SOUND PATTERNS:

Loose alliteration with "bring back."

*RainbowL*IMAGERY:

Lots of rich images, with worms, fish, lake, pole, brothers and carp. All having to do with fishing, and family.

LINE STRUCTURE: LINE BREAKS, METER, REPETITION, AND RHYME:

Line breaks were clean, punctuation was good. Rhyme N/A, meter N/A. There was too much repetition of "the smell of" and "can bring" to the point where it became trite.

ERRORS:

None.

NEEDS WORK:

The repetition.

*Heart*FAVORITE LINES:

"The smell of worms,
can bring the smell of fish"
A funny image.

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

This was a rich, image-riddled poem of remembrance back to good times with loved ones and going fishing. I felt like I was there seeing it all, and smelling it all. Well done.

Thanks for sharing your talent with us, and keep writing! *Reading**Writing*

April

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Review of The Woman I Loved  
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


Greetings mystershinee,

I did a search for the newest accounts created and found your portfolio. Welcome! We're so glad and lucky to have you. Here are some of my notes on your poem.

DICTION, TONE, VOICE:

The voice is first person, and the tone is one of remembrance. The diction is average.

SOUND PATTERNS:

I didn't find any instances of alliteration, or repeated vowel sounds too close together.

*RainbowL*IMAGERY:

Womb, hands, heart, child and mother are all rich images. They are all physical images.

LINE STRUCTURE: LINE BREAKS, METER, REPETITION, AND RHYME:

Line breaks were not always clean, as some lines stood as fragments. There was some repetition of words right after themselves, which didn't sound right. The poem employed a non-rhyming scheme. The meter was not uniform.

ERRORS:

"i'm" should capitalize the "i."

NEEDS WORK:

Line breaks, repetition and meter.

*Heart*FAVORITE LINES:

"Her sweet caress by touching me
While i'm still in her womb"

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

This was a wonderful ode to mothers everywhere, and the love they give us and the unconditional support and kindness they show us. It was uplifting to read, and I felt the emotion in every line.

Thanks for sharing your talent with us, and keep writing! *Reading**Writing*

April

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223
Review of Demon in the Tree  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings RiverCat ,

I found your poem on the Request Reviews page and thought I'd take a look. Here are some of my notes.

DICTION, TONE, VOICE:

The voice was in first person, and the tone was dark, reminiscent and urgent all at the same time. The diction was average.

SOUND PATTERNS:

One loose alliteration with "struggling and swaying."

*RainbowL*IMAGERY:

Demon, tree, throne, parking lot, horns, feet, black eyes, teeth, lights, man, neck, chest and dawn are all rich and varied images. Most are physical descriptions of the demon, all sinister in nature, germane to the content of the poem.

LINE STRUCTURE: LINE BREAKS, METER, REPETITION, AND RHYME:

The lines were way too long, and could've been cut in half to ease the flow and readability. Some of the lines rhymed internally, which sounded nice. The meter was only slightly off because of the lines being too long, but I believe that if they're restructured then the meter will be tighter.

ERRORS:

None.

NEEDS WORK:

The meter and long lines.

*Heart*FAVORITE LINES:

"He was sitting on his throne and staring at me."

And

"An epic battle way up in the tree; that will continue on for eternity."

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

You've told an interesting tale about a nasty demon, in a tree of all places, an interesting setting, one that contrasts with the demon's evil nature because the tree has a calming presence and is sort of spiritual so I found it interesting how the demon and the tree sort of foiled each other. I wasn't quite sure where/how the man came into play, or who he was, but it was interesting all the same.

Thanks for sharing your talent with us, and keep writing! *Reading**Writing* And feel free to take a look at my portfolio *BigSmile*

April

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Greetings Hektor Thillet ,

I found your poem on the Request Reviews page and thought I'd take a look. Here are some of my notes.

DICTION, TONE, VOICE:

The voice is third person, and the tone is a bit dark. The diction is average.

SOUND PATTERNS:

Some alliteration, with "so scary" and "be better."

*RainbowL*IMAGERY:

A little boy, 200 tongues, a mirror, a castle, candy, baseball, a bat, demons and stairs are all varied and rich images.

LINE STRUCTURE: LINE BREAKS, METER, REPETITION, AND RHYME:

Line breaks are not always clean, as some lines stand alone as fragments. The poem employed a non-rhyming scheme, which seemed appropriate. There was much repetition of tongues, so much to the point that it became a bit trite. The meter was definitely not uniform.

ERRORS:

No errors found.

NEEDS WORK:

Meter and repetition.

*Heart*FAVORITE LINES:

"He is upstairs dreaming out of this world
that is so scary and cruel and all."

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

This was a gruesome tale of a boy with 200 tongues, something I would've never thought of! How very original. It was a creative story of a poem, and I do enjoy poems that tell stories. They are hard to write. I commend you for a job well done.

Thanks for sharing your talent with us, and keep writing! *Reading**Writing*

April

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Review of Flash Entries  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Greetings Amay ,

This concludes my port raid for you on behalf of "The WDC Angel Army" . Here are some of my notes on your wonderful story! *BigSmile*

Plot:

A woman wakes up to find her mother running and screaming through the house at 3:00 in the morning, at which point she must calm her down and convince her that she's okay. We then find out at the end that it's Black Friday, but I wasn't sure what significance that had to the story.

*Woman**Man*Characters:

The narrator, the mother, and Tim. I would've liked to know the narrator's name.

Setting:

In the narrator's home.

Narration:

The pacing was good, but I didn't really see what the goal was for the main character. I know she wanted to get her mother to take her sugar, but was that it?

*Thought*Dialogue:

The dialogue was good, and I felt the desperation in the words.

Beginning and Ending:

The beginning started off on the right foot, with great dialogue and immediate action, launching right into the meat of the story. The story ended on a sad note, with the mother and narrator in their respective rooms, somewhat isolated, no longer spending time together like they used to. It makes me wonder if the mother has some sort of dementia...

Errors:

"Shhh, Mom, it’s alright." should be "Shhh, Mom, it's all right." There's another instance where it's written "Alright" so fix that again. "her breathing slowed, finally she quieted down" should say "her breathing slowed, and finally" etc. "take your sugar before you oatmeal gets cold" should say "take your sugar before your oatmeal" etc.

Needs Work:

The errors, and the narrator's goal.

*Heart*Favorite Lines:

"She sat up on the edge of the bed. Rubbed her face, blew her nose. She looked so sad, so defeated. It killed me to see her like this." Very sad lines.

Summary:

This was a very sad story indeed of a troubled mother who has recurring night terrors, and her loving daughter, bless her heart, who takes care of her each time she has an episode. The husband seems like a tool to me; he could be a little more caring and compassionate, given the mother's fragile state, but maybe he was just irked at being woken up so early since he had to go to work soon. Still, the mother couldn't help it, obviously. I felt really bad for the mother, the poor thing. You've created a strong character that I sympathized with and instantly liked, so well done. Although it was a sad read, it seems like it could be the story of many folks out there, I'm sure, myself included (although it would be my grandmother, not my mother).

Thanks for sharing your talent, and keep writing! *Reading**Writing*

April

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