I like this a lot! the only suggestion i have is in your sentence:
"He was a Boy Scout once upon a time, and remembered something about hyperventilating in tight spaces leading to carbon dioxide replacing the oxygen more quickly, effectively shortening the amount of breathable air in a confined space."
you say he remembered something but then the rest of the sentence was very specific and sounds like he knew exactly what he was talking about, so maybe take out "something". but that's a really small thing and it didn't really affect the story; all in all, very nice.
it is short but has such a good meaning to it! i think that is the best kind of poem because it's easier to reach more people with less words! this is very nice :)
A great six word story (in my opinion) is one that has words that get me to continue the story in my head and imagine how it all happened, with this, i did just that! i like all six words haha this is very good
there is nothing better than a friend that protects you when you're sad, you are the kind of friend everyone needs! this is very goo btw haha i really liked it :)
This is a very good topic of discussion that i have had with many people, however being only 17 i have yet to encounter a peer of mine who had the capacity to engage me in a conversation while following reason and not simply saying "jesus is proof of god". I find atheism a very interesting belief because i cannot think of a way in which everything that we call the universe could have been originally created if not by a creator that is greater than us. of course that brings up the question of how could there be a creator of our universe without something having given existence to said creator. which raises the question if every "creator" has to have a "creator" how did the first creator come to be? creating an infinite line of creators that can have no beginning because that would mean there would be a time with no existence of anything which is impossible given that every "creator has a creator". i believe there can be no god as the bible describes because the bible states that god has always been and always will be. that means that there was no beginning because there was no time without god. i don't know, this is just the thought process that i follow when on the subject of god or a superior being that created everything. on a tangent of the attempted disproof of something supernatural; we have thoughts, our thoughts are not tangible however they do exist and that is indisputable. so if we can think of it, it exists in some form, whether it remains a thought or not it exists and there is no bound to the potential of thought. god could not exist in the physical realm of things but he certainly does exist. at the chance of everything i have said sounding incredibly dumb i attached the 1,500 GPs because i would've written this regardless of a auto-reward. thank you for your time! and i hope that you write more on this subject or even on other topics that are up for interpretation.
It was written well but it doesn't really appeal to me. I understand that it characterizes the person more when he uses slang but to me, it just looks bad. Also, the names, though original, i thought should be different. But, this just isn't my type of story I enjoy to read. I'm sure that had it been i would've loved it.
This is very deep! The words used really makes the meaning more powerful and helps the reader become part of the writing more easily. It flows very nicely and wouldn't be awkward to recite. It seems to touch on a very cliche topic but then again, what doesn't? In summation it was very good!
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