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Review Requests: OFF
1,485 Public Reviews Given
1,578 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I look for a good hook at the beginning and like stories that "hit the ground running". Good plots with a theme, strong characters with an emotional impact, moving dialogue, sensory descriptions, clear communication and words with a purpose are strong points of a good story.
I'm good at...
knowing a good story when I read one. I like to read as much as I like to write, maybe more. I will let you know when a sentence just does not make sense to me, and I will try to give you my opinion on how to make it better.
Favorite Genres
biographical, family, drama, mystery, comedy, nature, young adult
Least Favorite Genres
sci-fi, erotica, fantasy, mythology
Favorite Item Types
short stories, essays, fiction & non-fiction
Least Favorite Item Types
novels
I will not review...
novels...sorry, no time
Public Reviews
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Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello,

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Please remember, these are my opinions. Take what you can use and discard the rest. Thank you for entering.

So, it sounds like Sarah is going around in circles but apparently she has gotten her wish, sort of, just not quite as she expected. And the thing is, it seems the magic worked on her instead of on the others.

You've written an interesting story and I enjoyed reading it. I appreciate your attention to the details of grammar, spelling and punctuation. Thank you for sharing.

Keep writing,
Connieann
moon over ocean at night
202
202
Review of The Cave  
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello,

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Please remember, these are my opinions. Take what you can use and discard the rest. Thank you for entering.

I like your opening paragraph. It sets the scene and the mood of the story, a little Poe-like. I'm drawn into the mind of the protagonist as I read along and realize she is unbalanced and depressed.

Your descriptions are good, painting a nice picture of the pool and cavern to tie into the prompt.

Her obsession with her lover is scary at times...you've written this well. The ending was a little unclear to me but maybe you intend it that way. I wondered how his death happened...and did she die as well?

It was an interesting read. Thanks for sharing.

Keep writing,
Connieann
moon over ocean at night
203
203
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello,

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Please remember, these are my opinions. Take what you can use and discard the rest. Thank you for entering.

Your opening lines are good and quickly got my attention but as I kept reading, none of my questions were answered...where did her father come from and why, what was this place, is this another time period,.... And you have no resolution. The story ends as it begins.

You have an interesting writing style and I like the way you use dialogue to move the action along, but I need some sort of answers for a story to be a story. With a little more work, this could turn into something really good, but as it it, I'm not sure what to make of it. Is the title supposed to mean something to me?

Thanks for sharing this; you have me thinking about possibilities.

Keep writing,
Connieann
moon over ocean at night
204
204
Review of The Lab  
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Hello,

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Please remember, these are my opinions. Take what you can use and discard the rest. Thank you for entering.

Apparently, Marie and the Lieutenant are in the right (or wrong) place at the right (or wrong) time. Things seem to have started happening in this old cave/laboratory on their own and it's not good for Earth.

This is an interesting read that I would have liked to see expanded some with more information for the reader, at least for this reader.

I enjoyed the back and forth dialogue (banter) between the two characters. It helped define them.

I liked the writing style and appreciated the attention to grammar, spelling and syntax.

Thanks for sharing.

Keep writing,
Connieann
moon over ocean at night
205
205
Review of Remnants  
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello,

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Please remember, these are my opinions. Take what you can use and discard the rest. Thank you for entering.

I like the way you open with Sarah asking and answering questions in her head, a nice way to give background and set a tone for the story. I felt her yearning for the unfamiliar past and her questioning of the too-real present.

Then, you go on to specifics, placing blame, still in Sarah's head. I did find it slightly incongruous that she would complain about shutting down the grid as an "unwelcome routine" after condemning "the selfish bastards for more energy production." Just a thought. Apparently, she is living in some sort of compound with her small son after a catastrophic event has happened due to global warming.

I enjoyed the interaction between Sarah and Ben letting the reader know that even though the world may dramatically change, the tie between mother and son remains the same. Excellent contrast.

The Silent Spring was a welcome inclusion, the perfect way to show Ben how it had been through Rachel Carson's story and how things would change, certainly not a children's book but suiting your purpose.

You've employed some unique methods in telling this story, I would say flash fiction, and I enjoyed reading it. I had memories pop up in my head of The Room and also The Handmaid's Tale. I would have liked more description of the image prompt. Thanks for sharing it.

Keep writing,
Connieann
moon over ocean at night
206
206
Review of Deletion  
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello,

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Please remember, these are my opinions. Take what you can use and discard the rest. Thank you for entering.

Well, this is a very different take on the image prompt, now that I have dragons, trolls, magicians, aliens, and fairies roaming around in my head. Thanks for the change-up.

I guess you could say this story is in the fantasy realm since Abby's typewritten words have transported themselves to Sam's subconscious dream-state. But this one is actually believable...power of suggestion...been there, done that. You allude to this mysterious connection between editor and author in your second paragraph.

I like the way you tie-in to the prompt image by having your author's story happening in a cave and of course the thunder storm with the water dripping outside Sam's bedroom helps set the scene in her mind.

Good writing, good editing, and good attention to detail. Thanks for sharing...

Keep writing,
Connieann
moon over ocean at night
207
207
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello,

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Please remember, these are my opinions. Take what you can use and discard the rest. Thank you for entering.

I liked this story of two old friends finally getting together again to do some exploring, something they loved in their youth. Your description of the cave ties in nicely to the image prompt and your dialogue realistically moves the plot along.

It was appropriate that Mark saves Jimmy's life and yet he gives Jimmy credit with finding the way out of the cave...ironic since Mark was responsible for Jimmy falling into the water.

Nicely done and a pleasant read with a sort of expected ending, but that's okay. Thanks for sharing.

Keep writing,
Connieann
moon over ocean at night
208
208
Review of White Leaves  
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good Morning Angel,

Oh, I love that salutation!

What an interesting story you've written. I read along (good flow) and had my suspicions that Ted's plan of drug-induced dementia was going to backfire, but I didn't expect the scissors.

One question: How was Ted responsible for the accident...enough to be arrested? Drunk driving?

Thanks for this enjoyable read...and good luck in the contest.

Keep writing,
Connie
209
209
Review of This and that  
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there,

Responding to your review request.... Since you didn't say, first I'll go line by line.

Line 2 - ones should be one's
Line 11 - mothers should be mother's and I would put a comma after mother's to break the 2 complete clauses.
Line 15 - In place of the comma after hearts I would insert the word "while" unless that is not your meaning.
Line 17 - Instead of the comma after dark I would end that sentence and begin a new one with "The battle".

So much for my idea of corrections. I love this piece of prose poetry, at least that is what I would call it. You have wisely divided it into two paragraphs. And your title at first seems to be an afterthought but really gives more emphasis to those two opposing views. Well done.

Since you gave no specific instructions, I can only say it was an interesting read with good metaphors, good flow and provided some food for thought. Thanks for sharing.

Connie
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Review of Lake Wickaboag  
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Judity,

I walked down memory lane with you this morning and caught a few memories of my own along the same lines.

This is a well-written account of growing up in a small New England town with a lake being the center of all childish activity. Your descriptions put me in your universe and you personal memories made the story cozy.

Thanks for sharing.

Connie
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Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Good Afternoon,

This is a real tear-jerker. And very well-written.

I thought, at first, I would be hearing a war-story but this was so much better, that it wasn't grandpa's house was a big surprise, the best. I hope you try to get this published somewhere. I loved it.

Connie
212
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Review of Clowning Around  
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Fyn,

I love your stories and this one is no exception. I think I found you on the "read and review".

You hooked me at the beginning by starting at the middle, obviously a good thing. You made me like all your characters (except the brother), even Bessie. And your ending was perfect. As I read along my brain ticked off all the right things you were doing, concrete verbs, etc. and first person was the perfect tense for a comfortable cozy exchange.

Thanks for sharing this.

Connie
213
213
Review of Luck  
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,

I found you in the Daily Flash. Good luck with your entry.

You tell your story well. I traveled through the party with you. Your hints on "blending in" made everything believable and your plan seemed invincible which made your ending a surprise. What rotten luck!

A most entertaining read. Thanks for sharing.

Connie
214
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Review of Hare Trigger  
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Good Afternoon,

I found you on the Hub page, and your title and the word "comedy" pulled me in. You did deliver *Smile*.

I like the way you get right into the action and I like the way you move it along with dialogue, two great things to remember when writing short stories.

And I love it when a writer makes a fantasy believable. (laughing here) Well done.

Connie
215
215
Review of Jake  
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good Morning Sarah Rose,

I found you under "read a newbie". Welcome to writing.com.

You've written an interesting story and it sounds like it may be true. Obviously, Jake saw something in Hunter that drew him out.

You've done a good job of showing and not telling. Your dialogue is realistic.

The ending is sad but I expect it's an ending that happens often.

I hope you're enjoying the site and I'm looking forward to reading more of your stories.

Connie
216
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Review of A Difficult Child  
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good Morning,

After reading the little blurb on your port page, I don't know whether to believe all this or not. At any rate, it's a great piece and I thoroughly enjoyed every word. I expect some is true and some not.

I see you are new to writing.com. I would like to give you a hearty welcome and hope you share more stories.

Connie
217
217
Review of Little Habits  
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: E | (3.5)
Good Evening,

I picked up your story from the Hub page. Poe and King are the only horror writers I have read, and I can feel a little bit of Poe in this short story, especially the ending.

I almost clicked off on the first sentence. What do you mean by "close"? I would rearrange..."as the burning sun in its death throes fell from the darkening sky." It's very important to make your first few sentences error-free if you want to keep your reader engaged even if it's only for a review.

Your idea is good, your prose is imaginative, you just need to do a thorough edit for errors. For example the last sentence in the 3rd para from the end. Do you mean what he was to become or what was to come? You should be able to easily correct errors like these with a close read over.

Thanks for sharing this and I hope you take the time to spruce it up.

Connie
218
218
Review of A new friend  
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good Morning,

I enjoyed this. It could be the beginning of a good novel, all kinds of possibilities. Is that what you intend?

Your writing is smooth and I read along quickly. It has a sort of Austen flavor or at least that time period although you don't let me know in words.

I hope you continue a story. Let me know if there is more.

Connie
219
219
Review of A Possum's Story  
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good Morning,

Oh my, what a beautiful story! I love animals too so I read about your black cat and then this one about a possum (which I am a little scared of). You make me want to go out and find one.

I had no idea the story would end the way it did, but it was exactly right. I'm so sorry. Thanks for sharing this.

Connie
220
220
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Good Morning Linda,

This is funny if you don't live in Florida and pretty darn authentic if you do live in Florida (which I do).

I, too, have done the fire ant dance, usually when mowing grass, so embarrassing.

And I, too, have dumped the expensive poison only to see the hill move twenty feet to the left. Ugh.

Thanks for sharing this funny side of fire ants. Formerly, I was unaware there was a funny side...but now I see.

Oh...and I love your writing style.

Connie
221
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Review of A Final today  
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello again,

As I said, I'm not much of a poet (or critic of one).

You have a universal theme here, how people react to dire news. The poem tries to make light of it, yet a dangerous undertone is there. Juxtaposition?

And should they all be questions? I really like the last line. The reader can interpret it however he wants.

As far as the rhyme, it was not as important to me as the meaning I attached to the words. To me there was something about the last line in the second stanza that seemed "off".

Sorry I haven't been much help, but I am happy you have entered the foray.

Connie
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Review of Deadly Clowns  
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello again,

I'm visiting your port to reciprocate...disappointed to find only this short sample of your writing.

However, I wanted you to know this short piece is clearly written, easy to read, and makes me wonder what is going on with this clown *Laugh*. It sounds a little ominous.

I hope you will write some more, and will let me know.

Connie
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Review of Residents Only  
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Good Morning,

Yes, maybe we are the trespassers, and I'm a fan of both Guthries. And we are writing on the other side, not in words but in actions.

I like your essay. It's well-written and thoughtful and does what an essay should do, begin a discussion.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing.

Connie
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Review of The Neighbour  
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Good Morning,

I found you on this week's Short Story Newsletter. You had me hooked from the beginning with the note on the door. I knew no good was coming from that *Smile*.

You do a good job of combining telling and showing throughout the story. You keep the action moving, and I never lost interest.

I noticed a few grammatical errors, nothing that bumped me out of reading. A close edit would take care of them. This sounds like a good story to submit somewhere...or maybe you already have.

Best of luck with it and thanks for sharing it here on writing.com.

Connie
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Review of Moving To Florida  
Review by Happy May 2024!
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good Morning,

I must say...your handle fits. You are down to earth to be able to get through a move like that! Towing a trailer and a car, well, I can't even think about that *Laugh*. And, then, having the car fall off, more than once, wow!

Exactly how long did it take to be able to laugh about it? Glad you lived through it and are able to write a funny story like this one. Oh, and I found it on the Comedy Newsletter, my first "go-to" on Wednesdays. Thanks for sharing...great writing.

Connie
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