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76
76
Review of Secret Cave Swim  
Review by Elycia Lee ☮
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This is a Game of Thrones raid by House Tyrell, brought to you by: "Game of Thrones" .

House Tyrell image for G.o.T.

*Rainbowl**Rainbowr*GREETINGS!!!*Rainbowl**Rainbowr*


*Owl3* Overall Impressions/ Random Chatter:
If I didn't read the title, I wouldn't know who this girl is, whether she is human or an animal... until the very end. Well, I could make some guesses. Maybe I'm just slow. *Facepalm* I like how you described everything, how you keep the readers in suspense. As a reader, I kept wondering... who is she, what is she doing? (I didn't see the title until the very end) . I thought this short story is rather sexy too. *Wink* This story is like the result of us are playing taboo and you are not allowed to use the words in your title, who she is and what she is doing or where she is,... It was an enjoyable read despite the internal conflict that I faced. *Laugh* (i.e. Surely I'm not that dim?) You have a very... err... mystical style. Is that even the right word to use? *Laugh* Hoorayyy!!!

*Owl3* Grammar/ Typo:
Nothing major overall. Just a few suggestions:
*Duck* She’d learned that they often hid there, but that holding still was difficult for them.
*Duck* She fancied the moon, her sister, and the stars, her cousins.
*Duck* Then, a cool relief finally slipped into her belly which begged for more.
*Duck* Then, she stretched herself out, long across the top of the water and began graceful strokes across the stretch of open water, taking swallows from time to time.
*Duck* Satisfied, she continued back to her lair to rest and prepared for her next venture.

Thank you for sharing this with us and Write On! *Heart*


Elycia Lee ☮

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77
77
Review by Elycia Lee ☮
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a Game of Thrones raid by House Tyrell, brought to you by: "Game of Thrones" .

House Tyrell image for G.o.T.

*Rainbowl**Rainbowr*GREETINGS!!!*Rainbowl**Rainbowr*


*Owl3* Overall Impressions/ Random Chatter:
I love how you wrote this. I love how you told the story. I love your choice of words and how you used them. I love the humour. I love the characters. I love every single bit of it. The calmness of the wife trying to balance her husband's ego and her sanity. I'm kind of envious of her because I know I WILL lose my head and hell will break loose. I also love how you exaggerate the situation, from how a simple pipe leakage became a flood and the reaction of the plumber when he saw the mess. I love your style. It has a certain swank to it. I also know how true this story can be and it might be the story of many households. It also seemed that you might have told our story your way.

*Owl3* Grammar/ Typo:
*Duck* Then, like a ballet dancer on tip-toes, I sneak toward the basement door.
*Duck* The funny thing is, I don't believe the scene before me (remove comma) even phases me.
*Duck* I run to the front door. A bit too eagerly, I swing it open.
*Duck* Returning to reality, I smile: "I'm glad you're here. He's down in the basement."
*Duck* He replies, "I don't need a plumber, but since you're already here, you might as well come on down and have a look. I might need a little help."

*Owl3* My Favourite Parts:
*Trainp* Down he spirals into the basement. I hear the many dings and pings of different size tools, hitting against metal. Sadly, my husband is busy at work.
*Trainp* My mind has gone into an animated state of eerie calm control.
*Trainp* A glutton for punishment, I take a walk one more time toward the menacing basement door, reluctantly sticking my head through the crack of the door.
*Trainp* The plumber strides to that ominous basement door, innocently opening it wide.

These were the parts that made me laugh the loudest. Well, inside. So much that I had to bold those words that would make me slap my thigh. Reading this gave me a sense of immense satisfaction. *Laugh* I really enjoyed reading it. You are good! *Star**Rainbowl**Rainbowr*

Thank you for sharing this with us and Write On! *Heart*


Elycia Lee ☮

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78
78
Review of What A Man Needs  
Review by Elycia Lee ☮
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This is a Game of Thrones raid by House Tyrell, brought to you by: "Game of Thrones" .

House Tyrell image for G.o.T.

*Rainbowl**Rainbowr*GREETINGS!!!*Rainbowl**Rainbowr*


*Owl3* Overall Impressions/ Random Chatter:
This... errr... is... one of the most chauvinistic pieces I've ever read in my life so far. *Rolling* Is this for real? I've known men and their ego; we, ladies, kind of guess this but to see them all spelt out here, it's kind of unbelievable and amusing at the same time. Dangerous grounds to trample upon too. It's such a dangerous topic to discuss, I wouldn't even say much but... err... good luck cause it might infuriate the female gender. You know, men are from Mars women are from Venus kind of thing? I don't know. Ladies might want to get even. I feel like I just saw someone naked. *Facepalm* *Rolling* But you know, it's a good piece. It is. It is kind of funny. I don't know why. But it is... *Laugh* Nice write.


*Owl3* Grammar/ Typo:
There are a few punctuations and typos I spotted. Feel free to ignore them anyway. Here are some that I picked:
*Duck* A man values respect. No matter how much you claim to love him, if you do not respect him, then that love is nothing for your respect for him is interpreted as love to him.
*Duck* But then, this kind of respect does not mean kneeling down before him or saying 'SIR! SIR!' all the time. His respect is fulfilled when the woman reminds him of his capabilities and help him maintain his self-esteem. To her, he should be the richest, the most hardworking, the most handsome.
*Duck* She should be proud of her man, not out of duty, but as an expression of sincere admiration for the man she has chosen to love.
*Duck* A man needs the woman to value his accomplishments, no matter how small.
*Duck* Now, if a woman meets this primary need of a man, the man will do anything just to love and please her; it will help the man even work harder.
*Duck* The second primary need of a man is recreational companionship; where the woman needs conversation the man needs recreational companionship.
*Duck* He wants the woman to share his sporting and recreational ideas. If he likes computers, he wants the woman to like it too.
*Duck* Now, the woman may not really like it but if you can just show him that you like it a little, show him that you like the games he likes or the things he likes to do in his leisure time.

Thank you for sharing this with us and Write On! *Heart*


Elycia Lee ☮

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79
79
Review of Trick or Treat  
Review by Elycia Lee ☮
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is a Game of Thrones raid by House Tyrell, brought to you by: "Game of Thrones" .

House Tyrell image for G.o.T.

*Star*HAPPY ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!!*Star*


*Owl3* Overall Impressions/ Random Chatter:
This. is. amazing. This is drop dead gorgeous. This story is REALLY good. It's very well written and I love how you started the story with the maple leaves and how you introduced the story and the connection of the beginning to the main character which seemed like such an ordinary day and how the tone of the whole story changed when the phone call came in. I like how the thoughts of the main character was not overbearing but adequate to feed the story. I love the way this story made me question why the main character didn't save his parents. I love the twist in the story where the homeless man became the caller and how it connects to something the main character did in the beginning. I love how you ended the story. From the flow of the story, strong characterisation, inner monologue, descriptions of settings and surroundings, plot, the beginning and the end, everything was truly perfect. As a reader, I truly enjoyed the story, I was absorbed into it. I was frightened but I want to keep on reading. And then I start looking around and hope no one like that was materialising in front of me... and I hope my phone won't ring while I read this particular story. It's that good. I read about people saying how short story is like a mini novel and this piece is a true reflection of that. I would have given you 5.5 rating if I could... but I can't. *Laugh* Well done! *Star**Rainbowl**Rainbowr*

*Owl3* Grammar/ Typo:
I found none! This piece is really well edited.

Thank you for sharing this with us and Write On! *Heart*


Elycia Lee ☮

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80
80
Review by Elycia Lee ☮
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is a Game of Thrones raid by House Tyrell, brought to you by: "Game of Thrones" .

House Tyrell image for G.o.T.

*Star*HAPPY ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!!*Star*


*Owl3* Overall Impressions/ Random Chatter:
I enjoyed reading this story. It reminds me of my favourite Harry Bosch Series by Michael Connelly. I love this genre and this is so well-written. I love the tone, the pace and the voice of the main character which painted the whole story. It's sassy. It's cool. It's got character. It has style. It is sophisticated. It's like I'm watching a TV series and I want more! I like how you managed to keep it short too because it can't be easy chopping it up to such a length. It's also one thing to watch a TV series and quite another to read about it. To reflect everything through writing so accurately... there's just this sense of satisfaction I felt as a reader. Well done! This is a really awesome read! *Star**Rainbowl**Rainbowr*

*Owl3* Suggestions:
Basically, what I found were just commas that I think should be there but please disregard it if they are not relevant and represents the voice of the main character. You'd know best. *Wink*
*Duck* Oh, that did not set well with the rest of the cop buddies.
*Duck* I didn't want to disturb the dame she looked so peaceful, but this is some serious business that is about to come down.
*Duck* Then I opened them more daringly as I noticed the goons were no longer waiting by the lamppost.
*Duck* Vinny's muscles won't find you here...see.
*Duck* You got to be quiet like a church mouse, sweetie, okay?"
*Duck* She did a little twist and turn reminding me of those bump and grinders down at Joe's Cellar.
*Duck* "You sure are right there, Mr. Big Guy.

Thank you for sharing this with us and Write On! *Heart*


Elycia Lee ☮

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81
81
Review by Elycia Lee ☮
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This is a Game of Thrones raid by House Tyrell, brought to you by: "Game of Thrones" .

House Tyrell image for G.o.T.

*Rainbowl**Rainbowr*GREETINGS!!!*Rainbowl**Rainbowr*


*Owl3* Overall Impressions/ Random Chatter:
Wow. That's quite a story you've got there. Do you want to have premonitions as such all your life? I like the way you describe things in this story - the tease for example, incorporate a back story, short but sufficient for us to understand the whole big picture why Dondon and Grandma are staying together. Have you ever wondered if it's someone very dear to you, do you mind seeing him or her 'return'? To answer your first question, yes I do have premonitions before but that's another story.

*Owl3* Grammar/ Typo:
I found none. Hooorayyyy!!!!!!

*Owl3* Favourite Parts:
*Trainp* “Cut it out, I took care of him since the day he was born. He was a preemie and I nourished him until he could be on his own. He was only as big as a bottle of Coke. Leave him alone!” Grandma would yell, flailing her arms demonstrating how small a twelve-ounce bottle of Coke was.

It's funny how Grandma compared a baby to a bottle of Coke. *Laugh*

*Trainp* She was out spreading her feminine wiles, jumping from one man to another, as revenge when Dondon’s father left her for another woman during her pregnancy.

I like how you use 'feminine wiles'. I found that very original.

Overall, I think it's tough writing a true story. You sometimes write it because you want to entertain people with your family quirks or your own quirks. You also write it because you want to remember it. To write it the way you did is truly an art. It's also tricky to write without anyone taking into offence, especially when you are writing about the people you know, and that is the danger of writing a true story. So, this is a wonderful write. Well done! *Star**Rainbowl**Rainbowr*

Thank you for sharing this with us and Write On! *Heart*


Elycia Lee ☮

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82
82
Review of Czar Nicholas II  
Review by Elycia Lee ☮
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This is a Game of Thrones raid by House Tyrell, brought to you by: "Game of Thrones" .

House Tyrell image for G.o.T.

*Rainbowl**Rainbowr*GREETINGS!!!*Rainbowl**Rainbowr*


*Owl3* Overall Impressions/ Random Chatter:
I didn't know what a Bio-Essay is until I came across this piece and I had to Wikipedia it. I saw somewhere in your port that you are fascinated with Czar Nicholas II. I can see why you are as you have explained yourself very well through this essay. Czar Nicholas IS rather fascinating. He was just born in the wrong family. This piece is very well-written and I have little interest in history or politics. I struggle to read them sometimes but this is a smooth read for me.

*Owl3* Grammar/ Typo:
*Duck* The(y) had four daughters: Olga Nikolaevna, Tatiana Nikolaevna, Maria Nikolaevna and Anastasia Nikolaevna; and a son, Alexei Nikolaevich.
*Duck* As (a?) Czar, Nicholas was an easy pushover. or ; H or he supposedly let his wife make most of the decisions. and as a child, he failed to understand the many different facets of economics and politics;

*Owl3* Favourite Part
*Traincar2p* On the same day thousands of people died in a Moscow stampede, he and his wife went to celebrate his coronation at a ball, "all smiles" because they were both unaware such an event had occurred (biography.com)
*Traincar2p* According to biography.com, "The emperor proved such a devoted family man that his journal entries, which were meant to log official affairs of state, instead focused on the everyday goings-on of his wife and kids.

I love these two sentences because it truly shows who Nicholas is, even though, as a citizen, I would feel the fury of having him as the ruler. It shows how Nicholas really wanted to live a peaceful and simple life with his family whom he love but his circumstances didn’t allow him to have his wish granted. The challenge of writing historical pieces, for me, is how to put in empathetic elements in cold, hard facts and therefore, I think this short piece nailed it. You got me Wikipedia-ing Nicholas, at least. Now, I want to know more about him.

Thank you for sharing this with us and Write On! *Heart*


Elycia Lee ☮

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83
83
Review by Elycia Lee ☮
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is a Game of Thrones raid by House Tyrell, brought to you by: "Game of Thrones" .

House Tyrell image for G.o.T.

*Rainbowl**Rainbowr*GREETINGS!!!*Rainbowl**Rainbowr*


*Owl3* Overall Impressions/ Random Chatter:
Ermmm... Actually, I think it's a bit boring. It feels like someone writing a diary and going through every single thought and every single thing that the person is doing. There's no story. It's not exciting. Nothing is happening. I thought ghosts were going to pop up in the prison but nothing. It was just the thought of fear being recorded in the story. He went to a bar full of girls but he didn't fall in love or fight with someone or... nothing extraordinary happened. For a short story, it has a lot of characters. It gets complicated and really hard to keep a short story short when it has too many characters. You can take it from me. All my short stories turned into novels. *Laugh* I think you might need to put in some elements in the story to make the reader care about the story. I found myself scrolling towards the end of it, not really reading it anymore. So yeah...

*Owl3* Grammar/ Typo:
There are some grammar and typos throughout. Here are some I'd like to point out:
*Duck* This devastated him (no comma) because his buddy's (buddies) have to go to war without him and he knows that he may never see any of them again.
*Duck* "A (space) long time ago, Rikers Island was used as a place to hang prisoners being sentenced to death.
*Duck* And since hanging is no longer allowed, the prisoners just sit in their cells until they die, minus the one hour they get outside in the highly guarded yard."
*Duck* "It is said to be haunted by prisoners of the past who were hung," said Private Taylor.
*Duck* Finally, Lonnie's eyes begin getting heavy and he drifts off to sleep, knowing he will have to be up again in three hours.
*Duck* "We have three shifts a day," Private Taylor begins telling him. "which includes three hot meals and a cot to sleep on.
*Duck* "You have much to learn how to be a prison guard especially defense moves in case a prisoner gets out of hand and has to be locked down and keep your gun safe. These men are here to die. Nothing more.
*Duck* Only seeing the news if they went to a theather (theater) to watch it on the big screensheet. What's a screensheet?
*Duck* He tried to explained why he was still in New York City. " My orders to go to war in Korea got misplaced! Go figure!"
*Duck* He said. He had a nice visit and danced a few dances.

Thank you for sharing this with us. We Hope You Continue to Improve The Story and Keep Writing! *Heart*


Elycia Lee ☮

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84
84
Review of Lessons to Learn  
Review by Elycia Lee ☮
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This is a review brought to you by: "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" .

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*Rainbowl**Rainbowr*GREETINGS!!!*Rainbowl**Rainbowr*


*Owl3* Overall Impressions/ Random Chatter:
How fitting it is... to see your quotes on IMs then seeing more quotes in your port. *Laugh* Now, you make me want to read this book - 'The Power of Now'. I've heard of it but I thought I'll get to it later... guess that's why I need the book right? Cause I don't do things NOW? *Wink* This is a good sharing. Thank you so much for the generosity. I like #3 - Always say “yes” to the present moment, because I'm always absent. That's why I do yoga. Well. Sometimes. *Laugh* I guess, this is the kind of stuff I should print out and put on my wall.

*Owl3* Typos/ Grammar:
I found none. Hoorayyy!!!

Elycia Lee ☮

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85
85
Review of A Sleepless Night  
Review by Elycia Lee ☮
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is a review brought to you by: "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" .

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*Rainbowl**Rainbowr*GREETINGS!!!*Rainbowl**Rainbowr*


*Owl3* Overall Impressions/ Random Chatter:
Hi, Prosperous Snow celebrating .... if you don't mind... I am not going to give you a full review because I don't usually review poetries (so this will be short and sweet), attributing to my lack of understanding of it. However, I did spot a typo that I needed to point out... At the break if (of) day,... I love poetries related to sleep and I like this one. I like how there's a finally a poem about sleep that is not insomnia-related. It's about time, #justsaying *Laugh*. Write on and have fun!

Elycia Lee ☮

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86
86
Review by Elycia Lee ☮
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
This is a review brought to you by: "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" .

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*Rainbowl**Rainbowr*GREETINGS!!!*Rainbowl**Rainbowr*


*Owl3* Overall Impressions/ Random Chatter:
This sounds like a very exciting story. At this stage, you're just penning it out, so I reckon it's a pretty rough sketch of what's in your mind. I like where it's heading... the prologue didn't tell me much except that the main character is looking for a girl and stumbled upon his friend... I didn't really get what happened after that... Don't really understand why Emil suddenly died... I guess you'll explain later in the story, so as a reader, I want to know what happened... your prologue certainly did its job.

*Owl3* Typos/ Grammar:
I spotted a few typos throughout this piece. You might want to have a look at it again for another round of edit. *Smile*
*Duck* that was normally bustling with students and proffesors (professors) but now sat empty.
*Duck* Shoving his hands into his pants pockets, the boy made his way around to the back of the college where their (there) was an entrance that he'd seen several others use (used?) before.
*Duck* His grey eyes focused on the door know (knob)
*Duck* "Ello?" His voice rang out into the thick summer air, a strong british (British) accent as he talked into the reciever (receiver).

*Owl3* Final Thoughts:
I honestly think it's waaay too early to review your novel... so I'll kinda keep my mouth shut for now... Will be cheering you on as you complete your novel. Go, go, go!!!

Elycia Lee ☮

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87
87
Review of Dad  
Review by Elycia Lee ☮
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is a review brought to you by: "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" .

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*Rainbowl**Rainbowr*GREETINGS!!!*Rainbowl**Rainbowr*


*Owl3* Overall Impressions/ Random Chatter:
This is a really sad story. It is a story, right? Cause I can't really tell. It's crazy to have that sort of love and hate internal battle within someone who is so close to us, ain't it?

*Owl3* Typos/ Grammar:
I found some grammar mistakes throughout this piece such as:
*Duck* When we were kids, he was difficult, headstrong and a dictator
*Duck* He was the kind of man that (who) should not have been fathering young kids
*Duck* In one of his angry mood swings, he threw a pair of scissors at me;
You might want to have a look at your piece again and have it edited.

*Owl3* Suggestions:
I would like to know, were there any regrets that the main character carried following his father's death? How did the main character slowly accept his father after his father changed? I would have thought that it would take awhile to build that trust between father and son. If this is a story, of course, I would like to see how that trust is built. Are there anything that the main character missed about his father? It would be nice to tell the story through different senses - like a smell of something... a song... an object... rather than just memories. Might give the story a little more character... but that's just my opinion. If my suggestions are not applicable, just ignore them. Write on! *Smile*

Elycia Lee ☮

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88
88
Review of Arranged Marriage  
Review by Elycia Lee ☮
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This is a review brought to you by: "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" .

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*Rainbowl**Rainbowr*GREETINGS!!!*Rainbowl**Rainbowr*


*Owl3* Overall Impressions/ Random Chatter:
Awwwww. Such a sweet story and to know that this is a real story makes the whole thing even sweeter. I never imagined how it would be like to be in an arranged marriage so this is a really nice read. My late grandmother also had an arranged marriage but I had a communication barrier with her because she speaks Hokkien (a Chinese dialect) and I don't. We should definitely share hobbies with our friends and family, especially our loved ones. Makes me wonder what other couples do. A very nice newsletter. *Smile* Thanks for sharing. Write on. *Star**Rainbowl**Rainbowr*

*Owl3* Typos/ Grammar:
*Duck* My maternal grandparents married in 1939. *were married or got married?
*Duck* Theirs was an arranged marriage. Their parents, after 'approving' the other family, had introduced them to each other.
*Duck* Her first cricket match, he was forced to answer questions after every ball was bowled. She wouldn't stop the barrage.

Elycia Lee ☮

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89
89
Review by Elycia Lee ☮
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a review brought to you by: "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" .

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*Star*HAPPY ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!!*Star*


*Owl3* Overall Impressions/ Random Chatter:
My eyes felt prickly as I reached the end of the story. When this stranger appeared and became a listening ear, I kinda guessed that he would the angel that might help the main character in her situation. So, yeah, you can say it's predictable but I could read stories like that always. Don't we all need miracles in our life sometimes?

*Owl3* Typos/ Grammar:
Maybe it's just me... just to point out a few, I would prefer:
"I know honey. You’re such an optimist.”
“Please be seated, sir.
“Wow, Christopher!

*Owl3* Favourite Part:
I like how this mysterious stranger has such an infectious power to affect others, and how it was painted in your story. How his gaze touches another person's heart and make them compel to talk to him like friends or how his laughter was infectious. This is a very nice story. Thanks for sharing it. Write on. *Star**Rainbowl**Rainbowr*

Elycia Lee ☮

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90
90
Review of In The Woods  
Review by Elycia Lee ☮
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
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*Rainbowl**Rainbowr*GREETINGS!!!*Rainbowl**Rainbowr*

Hello there, Chipped Block


*Owl3* Overall Impressions/ Random Chatter:
I enjoyed reading this for the first time and I get the gist of the idea of this piece. However, there were many parts in this piece that confused me and I had to read it several times before I understood it. I'm not sure whether it's a reader's problem or not but if at least one reader gets confused, then maybe, it's worth looking into what could be improved. It took me a rather long time to 'get' that the woman is actually a character and that some dialogues are said by the woman and not the man. The ending was abrupt and I can understand the fire bit and what is happening in your mind but this written part didn't reflect it and it totally does not make sense. The context is lost. (See below)

*Owl3* Typos/ Grammar:
*Snow2* She can see that the man, lean and muscular, is restless after their drive - and she knows just what he wants.
*Snow2* They are in a secluded cabin, it's snowing and there is a tennis racket? Why?
*Snow2* shadows to flicker self-indulgantly --> I'm not sure shadows can flicker self-indulgantly... how does that work?
*Snow2* The woman moans with anticipation and the realization that she is a stock character with no outside interests or aspirations of her own. --> Why does a woman feel... errr... horny when she realise she is a stock character? I'm sorry I used that word. I can't think of another word to use, especially when the word 'moan' is involved. *Blush*
*Snow2* "Besides writing,(comma) he doesn't have much going on...
*Snow2* The man, who in a different light is actually quite flabby and unattractive, suddenly realizes he is alone in the cabin, the woman having left him to study computer science at a nearby community college. --> I'm confused. He's alone in the cabin. The woman left him to study computer science at a nearby community college? Do you want to clarify this?
*Snow2* Just then a fire breaks out and ravages the forest. Everybody dies. --> This is the first time a forest is introduced. What forest? The forest outside the cabin? Everybody? Where and what?

*Owl3* Final Thoughts:
The piece didn't quite work for me even though I actually kinda like it because I can totally relate to it, as a writer and as someone who have written something similar before. I can totally imagine what's in your mind as you wrote this. However, the reading wasn't very smooth experience for me. It was pretty confusing but it's not something that cannot be improved with some editing and polishing. On a very random note, aren't we writers just like that sometimes? *Wink* Write on!

Elycia Lee ☮

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91
91
Review by Elycia Lee ☮
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
*Owl3* Overall Impression/ Random Chatter
This is a nice story. I feel like I'm watching some sort of cartoon. *Laugh* However, there are some questions I have as a reader. What happened and why are people stranded in the airport? There are only a few characters mentioned in the airport but in a massive airport hold up, there's gonna be more chaos. I would love to see more chaos described in this story. I want to feel the main character's insecurity besides his fatigue. I want to know what else he was thinking because he was only 13 years old and it must be an extremely frightening experience for him. Why was he alone and why is a 13 year old boy travelling alone? That sounds like a story on its own and that is something I as a reader would like to know.

*Owl3* Typos
old, (remove comma) woman
I wished I
Their There were
A certain someone didn't. Perhaps, I'm certain someone didn't?

*Owl3* Final Thought
This story has more potential for growth and needs a little rewriting here and there. Would be nice to feel more suspense and more agitation and more emotions in the story. I believe once it's looked into, the story would be nice and tight and a more pleasurable read. Btw, that main character is such a meanie. *Laugh* Poor old man. Well done and Write On!

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Elycia Lee ☮

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92
92
Review by Elycia Lee ☮
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I'm so drawn to the characters and I symphatise them, even though I do not know the story and feel as though I've jumped right in the middle of a story half way. Only 2 scenes and I'm won. Are there more to this? I seldom or almost never read screenplays but this is pretty good.


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93
93
Review of Earthship  
Review by Elycia Lee ☮
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey there, TJ Marie , thank you for sharing this article. It is a very eye-opening article and I love reading any green housing-related articles, especially in view with our current environment threat. All I know that is trendy now is the container homes which has been popular for many years (we're pretty backwards). Seeing how we're so backwards, no idea when we are going to have such technology arriving in our country or if it will ever be here. *Sad* And this article is extremely technical for my standards and I'm not a technical kind of person, so it's well-written, since I actually understand what is being conveyed. *Smile*


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94
94
Review by Elycia Lee ☮
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is a good short story for children. It reminds me of the kind I used to read in my primary school that always come with a picture and the moral of the story section. Overall, it has a good story line and it is heartwarming. I prefer the punctuations to clearly indicate the start and end of every conversation though as I find it distracting. There is also a typo that needs correction, e.g. 'Donât forget to think about what I said. Yes mother the little girl replied.' The ending seemed like it's missing something though... like, as a reader, I would want to know why her mother said that "You are good at singing. You should know better than that." and what does she mean by that? Are there any incident that remind the girl why she is good at singing? Does that also mean that the tree lied? But why did the tree lie? Maybe the tree is annoyed by the girl's singing so he said the very thing that would shut her up? These are questions I felt need to be answered but otherwise, the story is not bad at all. Write on. *Smile*


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