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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/brucef/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/11
Review Requests: OFF
1,311 Public Reviews Given
2,377 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to read novels and biographies, so if I can review them at the same time, why not. My ratings are usually at the high end because I think if someone has taken the time and effort to write a large piece, it is an achievement. The review will give the opportunity to flag up typographic errors. I do not mark down ratings for these errors because they are easily fixed.
Favorite Item Types
Rhyming Verse. Novels and short stories.
Least Favorite Item Types
Non-rhyming poetry.
I will not review...
Erotica, Vampire and Wolf stories. Their stories are all very samey to me.
Public Reviews
Previous ... 7 8 9 10 -11- 12 13 14 15 16 ... Next
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Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
An entertaining fantasy that captures and potentially keeps the interest of adult and junior readers, especially if they are cat lovers. A well-written piece and I noticed no errors. The ending prompts the question of what happens next? I think most readers would take a look to find out.
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252
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a good start to your novel and retained my interest as I read through. It has good potential to develop the story further. However, there are a few things that need attention, mainly capitalisation at the start of sentences and I noticed kate was not capitilised. Also a couple of typo's: "Mrs KLm (Kim)" / "really matter(ed) because" "/ Andrew new (knew)" all these are easily fixed and will make the story a better experience for the reader. I noticed that the surname Kim is known by both characters so I assume that they might be somehow related. If you continue with this I would certainly read more.
253
253
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Chapters 3 and 4. Again I feel that these two chapters should be put together as one. The story continues nicely and I wonder if you are going to continue with this. I could certainly read on, finding this a bit different and an interesting read. In one sentence you use the word "hanger" twice. I think it would be better to replace one of them with another word as it seems to stand out. Also noted a possible typographic error: " I heard the doos slid open (slide). I thank you for a very enjoyable read.
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254
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A good read on this second part although I feel it could be added as part of the first chapter. Again a good standard of writing and a storyline that keeps up the interest of the reader. I wonder how she is going to get through the next part and will certainly read on to find out.
255
255
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
As a 15 year-old you have given a nice piece of writing. I looked through and spotted no errors. The story is original and held my interest throughout being a Star Wars fan myself. You do have talent and W.D C. is a great place to develop that talent given that I believe there are many here who would help you. Well done with this and I look forward to reading on. It is great to have young people here. May the force be with you.
256
256
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
A chapter with good potential to be extended into a novel. There is a lot going on and the era is ideal for a lot of threads as it leads into WW2. The writing is good and held my interest throughout. I noticed a few minor errors for your consideration. Firstly, not really an error. I think it should be established that the car is an open-top as soon as it is described as it can be confusing later. / " first few of the fallen cousin" (view) / "we have everything we." seems a missing word. / "And so here was, existing" ? / "No desire to be stuck a(t) home" / At breakfast she was drinking tea but then she was drinking coffee. / "Persephone was away that she was sliding" (aware) / On a piece of this length these are very few suggestions. This is another good read with good characterisation and visual descriptions. Yes, it has potential as does the author.
257
257
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I was looking for another piece of good quality writing from you and found it with this. This is the type of story that I like to read, although fiction it comes over as if it is a story of real people. I was wondering throughout how you were going to end this piece and found it to be a brilliant credible conclusion. I only noticed one typing error: " {font:times 'My class ran late,' he said,". Very well done.
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258
Review of Starlings  
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a good piece of writing you have here. Although you say it is part of a larger work, it seems to stand alone very well. It does contain a nice message in it to remind us who we are. I found no error in this piece and look forward to reading more of your work
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259
Review of I AM ORDINARY  
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (4.0)
I assume the second line refers to the first line above it. Avtanshika should have a capital letter. I would put "to" between "light" and "everything." Just an idea, I think the last bit could read: always happened to be in trouble.
I did like your small intro to WDC. Perhaps a small bit about yourself in the bio may attract others with similar interests to yourself and also give an insight to the reader who the writer is, but it is not obligatory.
Welcome to WDC.
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260
Review of I AM ORDINARY  
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (4.0)
I assume the second line refers to the first line above it. Avtanshika should have a capital letter. I would put "to" between "light" and "everything." Just an idea, I think the last bit could read: always happened to be in trouble.
I did like your small intro to WDC. Perhaps a small bit about yourself in the intro may attract others with similar interests to yourself and also give an insight to the reader who the writer is, but it is not obligatory.
Welcome to WDC.
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261
Review of The shelter  
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Glad to have come across this short story. It retained my interest and enjoyment throughout not only because of the high standard of writing but also because the content is set in an area and time where I lived. Just a bit of nit-picking: sweet and chocolate rationing ended early in 53 and the story is set in 55. The ending is good and has a "Tales of the Unexpected" feel about it. The last piece: "his torch in one hand" seems to me to be missing something. A great piece; I thank you for sharing it.
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262
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is an enjoyable story and easy to follow and understand as it flows to the ending. The ending is good but I would like to know more about the "consequences". Characters and pace are well done, and the storyline is credible given the category of the story. However, I feel that the author needs to proofread the story as there seem to be some minor errors that can easily be fixed. A recommended short story though.
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263
Review of Checkmate  
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
A good piece of writing to prompt the reader to find out more. Seems like a start to a World War One story but could be another conflict. Franz sounds like a German to me and I wonder if this is the start or the conclusion to the tale. Nevertheless, I think that you could be on the right road if you decide to continue with this, if you have not already started. I assume you have a plan worked out. Good luck and welcome to WDC.
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Review of Luna  
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
A nice little thought-provoking story. Very well written and an enjoyable read which perhaps can one day be extended as it certainly has the potential to become a longer piece. Maybe the start of the adventure of the two characters. Well done with this and welcome to WDC.
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265
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Glad to see a bit more of the Burtrend part, my favourite character so far. Then we continue with Jenniah at just the right moment leaving a good hook from the first part. This second part flows well and is another good and interesting piece.
Possible typo: "H looked just as exhausted" Should this be He looked? / Change of POV marked by a break at "Daren is something troubling you?". I do this myself sometimes, but I am not sure that it works well in this instance.
Another good and interesting read.
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266
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Though I don't fully understand them yet, the opening italics are noticeably missing from this chapter. The chapter itself is a good read with plenty of action and the appearance of all, as I see it, the main characters. I have no problem seeing the characters or the settings and this is certainly a chapter that I would not put down until the end. The final part is unexpected and I wonder what happens next. A great chapter and I look forward to more.
I'm no expert at grammar but have a bit of input where I noticed things: "snot running from her nose" A line for effect, but I don't think many readers would enjoy this part of the image. "As royalty, she had (n)ever been "
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267
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I'm pleased to continue with Burtrend's part in the story. The chapter flows well and gives the reader plenty of action. There are parts that keep the reader guessing, which is a good thing, and a very good hook to end the chapter.
A couple of possible typo's: "and is eyes to search deep shadows in the hallway." missing h in his. / "asked me to save you while we at sea." Missing word?
I look forward to reading on.
268
268
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
From my favourite last chapter to my least favourite, this one. The writing is good and flows well, but I am not so keen on the content although I am sure that, perhaps, it has some bearing on the bigger picture. Mortals have always worshipped gods but the coming together of this group does not seem very credible even given the category of the story. However, I will, of course, read on because I am interested in the mortals and their destiny.
269
269
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
My favourite chapter so far. All the chapters hold my interest but there is a lot going on here and it flows well. The paragraph that starts: "With a hurt expression he turned to walked out," (and walked or to walk) I found the paragraph a bit confusing and I feel it needs to be clearer as to who is doing what as I had to read it twice. The characterisation and the settings remain clear to me and I look forward to finding out what happens next.
270
270
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Chapter 4 starts another part to the story which at the moment seems like a group of unfinished short stories. I assume that they will all come together soon. All the new names and locations can be a bit confusing but I manage to get them all in the end and I am still enjoying the read. I assume that it is all something to do with the opening chapter italics, but I don't get it yet.
Possible typo's: "Needing the it for the gods" / "tossed her long dark curls over her should and rode off," / "He gave her a big smile and sat down beside her." Maybe this should start the next paragraph? / "The soft cre colored dress, " / " ignore your beauty for long." Missing close speech mark.
The writing and story are to a good standard and I look forward to reading on.
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271
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Another good chapter which keeps the reader guessing. There are a couple of sentences that I am not sure about and stand out to me although they may not be incorrect: "As he leaned on the wall for support as he walked." and " Burtrend needed to stifled laughter again. ". A good read and I look forward to finding out what happens next.
272
272
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
A good chapter as we set out on a voyage that the reader may expect to be a perilous venture and is not disappointed. Not sure, but I think that it sounds like there is a word missing: "Senior Rainier had required he bring with." Another good read with a great ending prompting me to find out what happens next.
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273
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
At first, I thought we were at a dock under the floating city, but it soon became evident that we were not. A new main character in this first chapter and as a reader I wondered what his interest was in the land across the ocean, but again that became evident in the final paragraph. Another well-written and interesting piece in which I noticed no errors.
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274
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
What a cracker. This kept my interest and is a storyline that I will hope to follow. The Scenes are easy to imagine and the characterisation is good. As always with this type of story I was a bit confused at first with some of the names but soon got accustomed to them. The fear of a disaster is always there and keeps the reader guessing, but the twist at the end comes as a complete surprise. An enjoyable and recommended read.
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275
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
On reading the first paragraph it is clear that the writing will be to a high standard. There is a bit of a prologue to give a hint as to what is ahead. It is well written and holds the interest, but I am not sure if we need it until the relevant time in the story. Chapter 1 is good and I can see the characters and the scene. This looks like being a good story.
I noticed: "on the ground, her lunchbox r " Missing text.
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