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126 Public Reviews Given
126 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Cheating  
Review by Carolyn Darnton
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
I like your ideas and I like most of the words that you choose to express them by. I don't like the use of the word "ain't" in the third paragraph. I don't know if this is essay is to be turned in for school credit, but, while it is expressive, "ain't" isn't a proper word to use in a school essay.

I also think you should take the first two paragraphs or the first few lines and combine them into a thesis paragraph. Your introduction paragraph explains what you will be speaking about, tells what each separate paragraph will explain, then fastens them all into a bundle with a thesis statement. I think a perfect thesis statement for this essay would be something like "Cheating is not a good way of getting ahead because it's temporary, makes other students look bad and doesn't teach you anything."

Let us know what grade you get!
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Review of The Park  
Review by Carolyn Darnton
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like this poem a lot, I especially like the surprise at the end - that the trees are still happy in winter! The only thing that I see that I would change is the line "orange red and yellow blending, the true symphony of color". I like the visual description, but it feels like the line is too long compared to the other lines. I loved reading the line "happy and adorned in white jackets" because I was expecting the poem to end on a sad note, but the ending makes me think of a sledding hill with little children in white jackets going down the hill. I also like the word choice in the last line "adorned" makes the line perfect.
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Review of The Hollow  
Review by Carolyn Darnton
Rated: E | (5.0)
This could very easily be a devotional in a book of devotions or part of a sermon itself. I like your style of writing quite a bit - you are very descriptive without being dry. The description is juicy and adds to the excitement or entertainment value of the story. I also love ready stories about dog adventures, having four dogs myself. I could picture your dogs' excitement when he found the Raccoon. Great job - I would suggest submitting this to a devotional contest if you can find one. The opening scripture reference is perfect.
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Review of Endless  
Review by Carolyn Darnton
Rated: E | (4.0)
I don't normally like poems that rhyme, but I think your rhymes were subtle enough that they really worked. Good job!
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