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7 Public Reviews Given
8 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Dear Me  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Clever! I love it! Your writing sounds like the arguments and conversations I often have with me, myself and moi. Except, I am way behind in natural, sincere sounding way. This piece is easy to read and enjoyable because it seems to flow from your heart (as well as from your head). I had to read this sentence a couple of times to make sense of it: "Me has, Moi will admit, created meself that one necessity for any great writer!" Which is the one necessity? The space and experience? Or the writing nook? Either one works and I'm not sure that changing it would add anything. Leaving it open to interpretation might be best.
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Review of Naked Time  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Beautifully written! This contemplative passage has the power to slow time in the duration of the read. As I was reading it, I could hear my fish tank's filter, my dog's breathing, and actually noticed the stillness of the house for once. Here's a few minor suggestions. Eliminate one of the words here (either 'extra' or 'external'), as it is redundant:

"All extra external noise is turned off..."

This sentence is a little cumbersome:

"that so automatically is working"

Maybe it could be restructured to "that is automatically working".

These are just thoughts. I love the concept and depth of your writing.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow! I believe you do have a muse, and I am jealous. She clearly keeps you disciplined and has a very interesting way of expression. I love the descriptive analogies, particularly "plunged into a darkness of the dreaded soup". Reading this passage makes me want to read your story. They way you were able to creatively and objectively critique your own work in such a way that even further increases interest is impressive. I would want someone like you critiquing my work (that is, of course, if I had anything to critique, and did not feel small in comparison). I think I only saw one small typo, but I cannot be sure it wasn't intentional. You used the word wistful instead of wishful. I was assuming that there was hope of working on the truck. You have excellent writing sills and I will look for your story now.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
The concept of this writing drew me in, as there appears to be a deeper meaning. I love the offering of variety and opposing reasons for happenstance meetings. The passage pulls the reader in even more through personal connection by suggesting the possibility of a give and take relationship, mimicking the polarizing relationships. My only thoughts on adding depth might be to include some abstractions to connect with emotional experiences. This has shades of that already, especially in using 'some of them linger', and 'some left through the back door'. Good job! Keep going.
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