Outstanding! Actually felt the heat of the jungle, and smelled the stinking decay of the vegetation. Nice piece about the Vietnam Conflict, with a poignant ending. Only problems I see are formatting..split the characters and their dialog...and better punctuations, especially where you want to add emphasis or emotion. Also, get the HTML tags in, and this piece will be much easier to read, however, I truly loved it!
I am an Active Duty US Navy Seabee, and I work with Special Warfare...after 19 years Active Duty...I know a thing or two about the emotions in here....beautiful!
Dark, and full of emotion. There seems to be an overriding angst, possibly frustration....I like it. It isn't polished and pretty, neither is life. Definitely original, most poeple would not liken themselves to a weed. Interesting. Keep it going! Very good and most refreshingly original.
Wonderful trip down memory lane....very nice. Is this part of a longer story? Think you should expand more on this...it has a rockwellian feel to it, kind of homey and mysterious at the same time. Learning more about Grandpa and the model A would be an interesting departure from the norm, at least for me!
OUTSTANDING!
As a warrior myself, the words ring somewhat true. The part that I see...."to die for God, For country, for friends, for family, but mostly for glory" this part I did not agree with...everyone I know (I am active duty military) does not think of glory...we think of doing the mission, of protecting our brothers, of keeping the threat away from our country, and our families. We do what we need to to survive....Most of us, the medals mean nothing. We wear them with pride, but that is not why we stay. However....an absolutely fantastic poem!
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/dpanzerman
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.23 seconds at 6:12am on Jun 02, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
