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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/edenslilith
Review Requests: OFF
6 Public Reviews Given
6 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I am somewhat new to reviewing but am quickly becoming comfortable with it. I tend to miss mechanical errors. However, I make up with it on character/plot development. I will be as brutally honest as possible. I will not tell you that your work is amazing and give you five stars, if your work is not indeed amazing imo.
I'm good at...
mostly short fiction and personal memoirs.
Favorite Genres
I love the dark side of writing. So.. surrealism, horror(but not macabre) sci-fi and intense psychological pieces get first priority.
Least Favorite Genres
Romance(gags). cliché stories with predictable format and "happily ever after" endings. Also, I don't know how to review erotica very well, so I can't accept those review requests.
Favorite Item Types
Short fiction and psychological memoirs.
Least Favorite Item Types
Form poetry.. novel chapters
I will not review...
Erotica. Form poetry and novel chapters longer than 7000 words. also, if you do request a novel chapter review, please have the previous chapters available on your port. I don't want to be lost. Sappy romance is also something I usually will not review.
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of The 10-57  
Review by Epic Fail
Rated: E | (4.5)
Overall thoughts
What caught my attention
First off, the BEKs are my favorite urban legend. There is very little lore on what happens when someone actually lets them in. This story has a very creative spin on that. I think the most intriguing aspect of the story was that most people couldn't see them. (perhaps only intended victims?)
Title
the title didn't do it justice. I'd prefer something more ominous. Darkly intriguing like the legend.
Plot review
The plot itself was very well done. good transitions and easy to follow. Believable within the context of the story.
What I loved
I loved the cliff-hanger ending.

What (imo) could improve the story
maybe just a tad more about Danny and what could have possibly caused him to become a BEK himself. Not too much though because it's part of what makes this story great!(the unknown) also was Genie also in danger?(she saw them as well...)

Did it hold my attention?
yes from word one to the last

use of imagery?
room for improvement here. Note, "almost purple." (referring to their eyes). Purple can indeed be a dark color but not darker than black. And they are indeed BEKs are they not? :)
Final thoughts
I really enjoyed reading this. A great story over all. Keep it up!
2
2
Review of Poem for True  
Review by Epic Fail
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Love this :) its beautiful. Dogs are (imo) the best friends one could ever have and I am sorry for your loss.
3
3
Review of Goodbye Letter  
Review by Epic Fail
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a very well written tribute to your grand mother. It brought me to tears, as I fondly remember the last card my grandma gave me. I still have it framed in my curio cabinet.

I think your message here will allow other readers to reminisce on family members who are no longer with us! Thanks for sharing and keep up the good work!
4
4
Review by Epic Fail
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
This was a refreshingly unique read.

I absolutely love your reference to road rage when speaking of "wrath."

"Consider the
phenomenon of road rage…people are getting so mad
these days, that everyone is afraid of strangers. One can see
more than ever the effect on public behavior that I’ve had.”

I only gave you three and a half stars because it lacks a strong sense of "fluency." rather are a few "rambling" spots.
ie:
The line right before the "road-rage" quote you state: "and individual anger is at an all-time high."
The transition could be smoother.
maybe something like

not to mention individual anger, which is at an all-time high.

......................
nothing big. overall It was a great write.
thanks for sharing and keep writing. If you happen to revise this please let me know. I would love to check it out.

~Kris
5
5
Review by Epic Fail
Rated: E | (3.0)
You have a powerful little piece of fiction here! I liked the ending. I know this was a contest entry and I don't know what the guidelines were. But for me, I'd like to hear more about the neighbor kids and their testimony.

my favorite use of words:
"Unable to face domestic violence from her sly and greedy in-law, and the cruel sadism of her life-partner, she went knocking on the door of justice."

This is an example of superb imagery. Its lines like those that can make a story. If you had said "She went to seek help from the court, because she was afraid of her partner and in-laws." that (as you can see) would have been far less effective.
so overall
Great write, I enjoyed reading
Keep it up!
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