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76
76
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.5)
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A review of "Revelations WC: 817" 

First impression:

This is a story about pain. Real pain. Not only for the man who has missed the love of his father for forty-five years, but also for the father who could not come close to his sons, and then just the one son. A father is a man who takes the time to be there for his children, no matter who planted the seed.

It also left me with many unanswered questions, which is the point (I think) of any good short story.

There’s more to be written here, it seems.

Donning my Editing cap/suggestions/Just My Opinion!:

I think I want to know how he initially suggested meeting up with his father. Was it a phone call? An email? This knowledge doesn’t change the story, but it does fill a gap this reviewer perceives.

I would also consider changing “strange” to “strangely”

“…mother started acting strange”
“…mother started acting strangely”

Both are correct. “Strangely” reads better, to me.


Favorite line:

“Seth and I thought a lot of things.”


I enjoyed this story very much.
Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
77
77
Review of Little Boy Stuck  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
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A review of "Little Boy Stuck" 

First impression:

Bravo! What an interesting subject. You’ve captured the plight of poor stick boy, stuck forever.

Donning my Editing cap/suggestions/Just My Opinion!:

I’m not sure how you feel about this, and of course it’s just my opinion, but what if you broke this into stanzas?

Suggested break points:

“I wish that I could run and jump,
Climb trees, kick balls, fall on my rump.
Between my sisters I am squished.
I'm a stick boy who's never fished.
My elbow will not bend to poke
the sibling that lives to provoke.
She bothers me with words and taunts.
I think of moves I cannot flaunt.

It's family my parents say.
On this car's glass we're meant to stay.
Stick together through thick or thin.
Stand tall, smile, wave, lift up your chin.
Never have I felt a tickle.
No tear drop did ever trickle.
Sigh, laugh or cry, it's not for me.
Stiff, posed figure I'll always be.

Car exhaust, road dust, I can't gasp.
Blaring horns, shouts, screech, I can't grasp.
Sun, smog, snow, sleet,. rain, I can't blink.
Up, down, bump 'round, it's hard to think.

I dream of mud puddles to stomp,
Friends in green fields to yell and romp,
hide and seek, riding a fast bike,
but I'm not real. This I don't like.

A sad simple sticker am I.
Ignored by most quick passersby.
If I could, I'd squirm and complain.
Stuck in one cramped spot is insane.

( 28 lines )”

Favorite bit:

“but I'm not real. This I don't like.”

Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
78
78
Review of In Me, a Mother  
Review by IE
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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A review of "In Me, a Mother" 

First impression:

The structure of this poem is unusual and interesting. I’ll call them the “sub lines” which draw upon the connection of the baby in the womb as a testament to the never-ending love of a mother to her child.

Donning my Editing cap/suggestions/Just My Opinion!:

While it doesn’t affect your poem or its readability, I wonder if the “&” would not better serve as just plain “and.” Not a big deal at all, but that’s what jumped out at me.


Favorite lines:

“as walls of a former residence;
as familiar pillars echoing womb whispers…”

Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
79
79
Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
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A review of "Divided by Miles (A Lost Love Poem)" 

First impression:

Your friend was right.
This is a well-written poem.
Love poems are (usually) about hope, longing and connection. Yours is a grand example of rhyming poetry that is not forced. It flows really well.

Donning my Editing cap/suggestions/Just My Opinion!:

I would suggest you add a comma to this line, after “close.”

“We grew close heart to heart.”
“We grew close, heart to heart.”

In summation:

I enjoyed reading this. It brings to mind the special connection I share with the one I love.

Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
80
80
Review of Homecoming  
Review by IE
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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A review of "Homecoming" 

First impression:

I love poems like this one. Poems that leave you guessing at what happened prior to the person leaving. Was it a relationship gone sour? A friendship perhaps? Was the person in prison? The armed services? Rehab?

Donning my Editing cap/suggestions/Just My Opinion!:

For me, I’m not sure how much the last line “after all” adds to the poem. I’ve read it both ways and of course it works fine. It’s just my opinion, but leaving it off leaves us in suspense. The last stanza is fantastic. Who is this person, really?

Favorite bit:

(Obvious, but it bears mention)

“because I can't help
but wonder
if it's really you”

Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
81
81
Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
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A review of "Baseball and Holidays" 

First impression:

The love of baseball is evident in this article. It’s well-written, with baseball facts sprinkled amidst personal observations.

Donning my Editing cap/suggestions/Just My Opinion!:

The only thing I noticed is that there is no header for the graph you included at the end of the article. For non-baseball fans (like me!) (I KNOW!) it would be helpful in understanding why you included it. Probably I missed the significance, but thought I would point it out.

Favorite bit:

“Spring Training helps pass the time a little, but it's kind of like kissing your sister. How excited can anybody really expect you to get?”

Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
82
82
Review of Away  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
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A review of "Away" 

First impression:

This is a simple, short poem, full of love, concern and caring. I imagined a soldier penning that to his love who is perhaps on the other side of the world. Circumstances pull us apart, but that doesn’t mean we have to say goodbye.

Donning my Editing cap/suggestions/Just My Opinion!:

None noted

In summation:

Your poem evoked many emotions in me. I enjoyed the simplicity of the message very much. I pray that we all have someone in our lives who loves us this much.

Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
83
83
Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
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A review of "Sharing Sunshine...It's What I Do!" 

First impression:

Amen! This is fantastic. You have put into words many of my own thoughts. Ratings are important to writers. Reviews are just as important—that’s why we’re here!

Donning my Editing cap/suggestions/Just My Opinion!:

None noted

In summation:

I don’t have a cute nickname, but I agree with your philosophy. It is important to be kind. Especially when we expect others to treat us with that same kindness.

Personally, I’d rather receive a thorough review and a higher (but still fair) rating than just a few words and a lower one. I generally rate high but had tempered that after reading the reviewing guidelines. We’re all (or at least most of us) amateurs here. We deserve encouragement.

Interestingly, I have received several private reviews from one particular user here. The reviews are very short, but always trending towards the negative. I take the words with a grain of salt, but still find it curious that they choose the private format.

Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
84
84
Review of SELENA  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.5)
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A review of "SELENA" 

First impression:

This article is informative and factual. The writing style is friendly and flows well.

Donning my Editing cap/suggestions/Just My Opinion!:

The only thing I am wondering about is the very first line:

XPbICTA\SELENAQUINTANILLA/GIgANTA


I don’t know what the letters before and after mean? Perhaps an explanation would help the reader understand.

In summation:

I did know this information about Selena, but enjoyed the read. Her music and legacy lives on.

Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
85
85
Review of Courage  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.0)
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A review of "Courage" 

First impression:

There is a lot going on here! Trials and tribulations. The slog to the top of the hill.
But determination is the main theme, along with persistence.

Donning my Editing cap/suggestions/Just My Opinion!:

I would like to suggest that you break the poem into stanzas. There may be a reason for having everything together as you do, but from my POV, stanzas will give the eye (and mind) of the reader a pause to better assimilate your words and their impact.

Also, in the last line, "flag's" would be correct, as it is possessive.

In summation:

It took a few re-readings for me to get the import of the message in your poem. I quite enjoyed it.

Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
86
86
Review of Burning Time  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.5)
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A review of "Burning Time" 

First impression:

Ah. Time. Many poems have been written about time. The passage of. How slow it goes. How fast it goes!

Your poem captures the concept well, from the moments we have until we are no more.

Donning my Editing cap/suggestions/Just My Opinion!:

None noted.

In summation:

I enjoyed reading this. In fact, upon each reading, I understand it more and more.

Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
87
87
Review of SHHHH!!  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.5)
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A review of "SHHHH!!" 

First impression:

I’m cold just from reading this! The imagery of bone-chilling cold trying to get into the sanctuary of your home is vivid.

Donning my Editing cap/suggestions/Just My Opinion!:

None

In summation:

Yay for the sun that will come and melt the snow and warm things up. Soon there will be flowers blooming and birds singing. Until winter comes again.

Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
88
88
Review of Ouroboros  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
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A review of "Ouroboros" 

First impression:

I am totally impressed with and enamored of your poem. Following the format alone is not easy. More intriguing is the subject matter: the eternality of life.

Donning my Editing cap/suggestions/Just My Opinion!:

None

In summation:

This is really excellent. I am always intrigued by spirituality; the beginning that has no beginning and has no end but becomes, once again, the beginning. Your poem will stay with me.

Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of DESERT GOLD  
Review by IE
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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A review of "DESERT GOLD" 

First impression:

This is a western themed poem that immediately evokes that old-time feeling around which many stories (and poems!) center. I immediately got that tone, along with the fruitlessness of Old Bill’s search.

Donning my Editing cap/suggestions:

This is just my opinion, but I’d like to suggest the following:

Held by the hand of a bleached white bone
Could be altered to
Held by the skeletal hand of bleached white bone

As it gives this reader the connection between the hand and the fact that there’s no flesh on it.

In summation:

Your poem flows well and I enjoyed reading it.

Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
90
90
Review of Framed on a Bus  
Review by IE
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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A review of "Framed on a Bus" 

First impression:

Oh dear!
So much singing! And bad acting (yep that’s my initial reaction)

Wait. I’m reviewing your entry.

It made me laugh. Love the clips that you embedded and the imagery of being stuck on a bus for eight hours. Free food or not, that would be a “no.”

Donning my Editing cap/suggestions:

None noted.

In summation:

This is fun to read (and watch). Pretty sure I’ll be hearing Bollywood music in my head for the rest of the day…

Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
91
91
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.5)
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A review of "Through the Forest Through the Trees" 

First impression:

This thought-provoking essay gives us many reasons to think. Not only about what the writer is experiencing, but also how we deal with our own perceived faults.

Donning my Editing cap/suggestions:

I would like to suggest that you add paragraph breaks at the very least. Your information is meaty and, for me, adding paragraph breaks not only gives the eyes a rest, but also gives the brain some time to digest the information before moving on. A larger font as well as paragraph breaks will also enhance the read.

In summation:

There’s lots to process here. I like that you used an uncommon word (enantiomer). Uncommon to me, anyway!


Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
92
92
Review of Flimsy Excuses  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
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A review of "Flimsy Excuses" 

First impression:
“What a flimsy poem!”
This is the only time I will write those words in a review because this time it’s a compliment!

I really got a kick out of reading your poem. Excuses, yes, but not whiny ones. Instead, they rhyme in a delightful way.

Donning my Editing cap/suggestions:

None noted

In summation:
Still smiling from another re-read.
Well done!


Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
93
93
Review of A Prince's Vow  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.0)
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A review of "A Prince's Vow" 

First impression:
This is an interesting short story about a prince and a knight. Despite the prince’s best efforts, the knight continually turns down the prince’s proposals.

Donning my Editing cap/suggestions:
I’ll share with you what someone here shared with me, and that is when there is dialog by more than one person, it goes into a separate paragraph.

For instance, in your paragraph:
“ The next day, the prince did just as he said he would, and the knight was happy. "Will you marry me now?" Asked the prince, looking hopeful. "I cannot," the knight started, "You have taken me on a date, but you have not even gifted me flowers, how can I marry someone who hasn't even given me a gift?" The prince paused again before speaking, "Then I will get you the most beautiful gift I can find! One so beautiful that even the gods would be jealous! If I get you this wonderful gift, will you marry me then?" "Perhaps," said the knight, his posture relaxing underneath the heavy armor.”

When broken up by speaker, it would look like this:
“The next day, the prince did just as he said he would, and the knight was happy. "Will you marry me now?" Asked the prince, looking hopeful.

"I cannot," the knight started, "You have taken me on a date, but you have not even gifted me flowers, how can I marry someone who hasn't even given me a gift?"

The prince paused again before speaking, "Then I will get you the most beautiful gift I can find! One so beautiful that even the gods would be jealous! If I get you this wonderful gift, will you marry me then?"

"Perhaps," said the knight, his posture relaxing underneath the heavy armor.”

In summation:
I will admit to being a little confused that the knight is actually not alive at all but has been a statue all along? Or am I misunderstanding?

Keep writing!


Thank you.
94
94
Review of Untangle  
Review by IE
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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A review of "Untangle" 

First impression:
Oh wow. There’s so much pain in this poem. The words you use encompass perfectly the seemingly infinite pain we can be in when something horrible happens.

Donning my Editing cap/suggestions:
This is just my opinion, of course, but would you consider amending “untangle” to “untangling?”

Unraveling, untangle
To
Unraveling, untangling

This is the only thing that jumped out at me.

In summation:
This poem has all the dark emotions encompassed within it. What I like about a good poem like yours is that I can immediately apply it to something that is happening in my own life. Poetry as clarity!


Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
95
95
Review of Born to Die  
Review by IE
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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A review of "Born to Die" 

First impression:
There is a dispassionate “it is what it is” feeling to your poem. Matter of fact: I’m a soldier. Soldiers don’t always come home. This tone works well for your poem, almost making it an observation of a life, rather than the life itself.

Donning my Editing cap/suggestions:
A couple of things I noted. Just my opinion, of course.

Tell my brother to study perfectly,
Keys of my bike will be his permanently

I would suggest that “of” be amended to “to”

Tell my brother to study perfectly,
Keys to my bike will be his permanently

I’m curious why you used quotation marks in the last line of this stanza?
And tell my love not to cry,
"Because I am a soldier Born to Die...."

In summation:
It’s a good poem that made me sad to read it. Sad is good in this case! A poem should give the reader all the feels.


Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
96
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Review of Envious  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.5)
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A review of "Envious " 

First impression:
A woman’s scorn. A woman’s quiet wrath. Nothing escapes her notice. Why she is jaded, we do not know. You have captured the dread, though. The dread of knowing she is stuck in this forever. There is no way out.

Donning my Editing cap/suggestions:
I want to suggest that “decays” be moved to the previous line. To this reader it’s a little choppy having it on a separate line. Just my opinion!
“everything that I touch decays
because I hate gently”

In summation:
There is a bitterness in my mouth. That’s my own jaded sense.
Very good poem.

Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
97
97
Review of Floridian Spring  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.5)
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A review of "Floridian Spring" 

First impression:
I love a good haiku. Good ones, as yours, invite the reader to read and reflect, multiple times.

Donning my Editing cap/suggestions:
None noted

In summation:
I had to look up a Cassia tree blooming and lord, are they beautiful! I’ll put Florida in the spring on my bucket list to be able to witness the golden blooms for myself.

Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
98
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Review of Coffee Spuddle  
Review by IE
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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A review of {item: 2252536}

First impression:
Spuddle! Spuddly! A Spuddly day! This poem made me laugh all the way through. Spuddle is a word I have never heard of, and you did a fantastic job of detailing a morning that’s getting nowhere fast. Each stanza reads well and everything flows together just right.

Donning my Editing cap/suggestions:

None noted

Favorite part:

Then crunchy bites of scrambled egg,
a piece of shell fell in!

I both laughed and cringed at this part. Breakfast is truly ruined when that happens!

Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
99
99
Review of Torn 2  
Review by IE
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hi again! Another poem of yours popped in "Read & Review."

A review of {item: 2297216}

First impression:
Poetry, at its finest, pulls the reader in and makes them swoon from the words that grace the page. Love poems especially can do this. Your poem has all the feels, and all the swoons. Hopefulness with no regret is my takeaway. What would we do without hope?


Donning my Editing cap/suggestions:
There are many powerful lines in your poem. I feel that they are somewhat lost without breaks in stanzas.

If I may suggest:

I can’t keep looking back
wondering about what might have been—
not when you’re here right in front of me,
hinting at what could be

And I can’t keep holding on to impossibility, hoping—
not when you’re waiting for me,
promising nothing but possibility

I can’t keep thinking about all the yesterdays,
done and gone—
not when you might be all my tomorrows

And I can’t keep reaching backwards—
not when you can pull me forwards

I can’t keep wishing for that other world,
that other place so inaccessible to me—
not when you’re here and you can be my
universe, my galaxy, my sun and my stars

And I can’t keep lamenting the something that I can’t have—
not when you can give me the everything that I want

Favorite part: I can’t keep thinking about all the yesterdays,
done and gone—
not when you might be all my tomorrows

Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
100
100
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi there! I'm stopping by with a review of "Thank God It's only Fifty+ Words" 

Overall impression: This is a great example of a tongue in cheek entry of doing something nigh impossible. Who know there were so many words with the letter "e" in them? I actually misread the description, thinking that just the last word couldn't end with an "e."

You did the almost impossible!

Editing/suggestions: None. Still kind of in awe of your accomplishment and wondering if I could attempt the same.

In summation: A golf clap for you. Loved this!

Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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