This is a pretty good poem. As far as spelling and grammar, I didn't see any major mistakes. And as for the subject, it shone through clearly, as it seems that you miss your father dearly. Many people can't seem to be poetic and allow everyone to know what they are talking about.
My name is Shawn, otherwise known as The Foolish Ford Prefect. The opinions that are given in this review are just that, my opinions. Please feel free to disregard any or all of them. This is your piece, do with it what you see fit.
TITLE
This title makes me think that you are referring to a specific river.
FLOW
This poem flows well
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION
I didn't notice any major mistakes in grammar or punctuation.
PERSONAL COMMENTS
This poem seems to me to be vague, but very specific at the same time. It works well. Keep up the good work.
My name is Shawn, otherwise known as The Foolish Ford Prefect. The opinions that are given in this review are just that, my opinions. Please feel free to disregard any or all of them. This is your piece, do with it what you see fit.
TITLE
I think the title fits this piece quite nicely.
FLOW
This piece flows well, without stuttering.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION
I didn't notice any major mistakes in grammar and punctuation.
PERSONAL COMMENTS
I can see that the words of this poem are truly heartfelt, keep up the good work!
This is an interesting poem to say the least. I could not find anything wrong with your punctuation or grammar and your poem flows very well. You have a gift of a painting a picture with your words, please keep up the good work.
My name is Shawn, otherwise known as The Foolish Ford Prefect. The opinions that are given in this review are just that, my opinions. Please feel free to disregard any or all of them. This is your piece, do with it what you see fit.
TITLE
The title of this story fits well.
PLOT AND FLOW
The plot of this story is well defined. There is a plot to overthrow the king, which has already been set into motion.
This story flows very well.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION
I didn't notice any major mistakes in punctuation or grammar.
PERSONAL COMMENTS
This is a great beginning to this story. My only complaint is where is the rest of it. I want to know how it turns out. Keep up the good work!
My name is Shawn, otherwise known as The Foolish Ford Prefect. The opinions that are given in this review are just that, my opinions. Please feel free to disregard any or all of them. This is your piece, do with it what you see fit.
TITLE
I believe the title of this story is quite fitting.
PLOT AND FLOW
The plot is clearly defined. This piece flows very well from paragraph to paragraph.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION
I didn't notice any major mistakes in grammar or punctuation.
PERSONAL COMMENTS
This is a heart warming story, with a surprise at the end. It was a good read. I don't see anything that needs to be changed. I look forward to reading more of your work. Please keep it up!
My name is Shawn, otherwise known as The Foolish Ford Prefect. The opinions that are given in this review are just that, my opinions. Please feel free to disregard any or all of them. This is your piece, do with it what you see fit.
TITLE
The title of this piece is good, but could be better if it left more to the readers imagination.
PLOT AND FLOW
The plot of this piece is clearly defined, A murder has taken place at a secluded retreat for the undead.
This piece flows from paragraph to paragraph quite nicely.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION
I didn't notice any major mistakes in punctuation or grammar.
PERSONAL COMMENTS
This seems like it will be a great novel. My only suggestion would be to change the title. It was kind of a put off for me. After I got past that point and read what you have posted, I was glad I did. Keep up the good work!
Being from northern Kentucky myself, I can truly appreciate this poem. Don't change a thing about it. I always find it funny that when you say that you are from Kentucky a lot of people automatically think that you are some kind of uneducated, inbred hillbilly. I always tell them that they have it all wrong... thats Tennessee. (I'm just joking, :) ).
Hello and thank you for uploading this piece to writing.com. It is you, along with all of the other wonderful authors who upload, that makes this website what it is today!
FIRST IMPRESSION
This is pretty good, Although I didn't get why you shaped the poem in that way.
SPELLING AND GRAMMAR
I didn't find any problems with your spelling or grammar.
PLOT AND FLUIDITY
The plot was vague but understandable. The poem flowed nicely.
CONCLUSION
This is a well rounded poem. The only problem I have with it is its shape. What were you trying to convey? Besides that, this is pretty good. Keep it up!
Please note that these are only my opinions. This piece is YOURS and accordingly you should write it as you see fit. :)
I love the content of your story, I can truly relate. The only problem that I have with this piece is that it is one big paragraph. Break it up and perhaps add a little bit of your "true" story to it. Other than that, I can feel your emotion coming through, Keep it up!
Wow, If this is meant to get a rise out of people ( and I know it is) , mission accomplished. I like how you used words like "Murderdoch". As far as I can tell, you don't have any major flaws. Though I don't agree with the extent of your criticism, I thought you got your point across well.
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