OMG!! The tragedy of Braden is so utterly overwhelming and heartbreaking that all throughout the story, I was hoping he would wise up to Heather's manipulative ways.
Suggestions
None. I noticed no grammatical/spelling errors. This story is written with a style and flair that are all your own.
Favorite Part(s)
The title is perfect -- appropriate but mysterious at the same time. I LOVE the the repetition of Heather imitating Braden's speech impediment. It was so effective and at the end was like a dagger through my heart.
Overall Impression
This story was a powerful, quick read with a twist to die for.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. I could "hear you" as my eyes frantically followed the text, trying to relive each moment as you told it.
Keep in mind, I have absolutely no knowledge of the subject matter in particular; however, I can relate to that "aha!" moment in life: the one when you've (finally) found the path you never even knew you were seeking.
A breath of fresh air! I like works that push the boundary and break molds. This piece contorted my mind (in a good way) and I think to myself: is this randomness? Or deliberate thought? In the very same instance I realize, whether intended or no, I just feel this piece! -period. Thank you!
In all honesty, I like the concept of this piece more than I fancy the execution. If I may, a suggestion: I would have the layout of the piece mirror what the title implies. If at all possible, I would suggest that you go a lot deeper with this piece and then rewrite it in two (or even more) columns, side by side. Basically, the piece will communicate "clone" with more than just its words and title (which I LOVE by the way, pulled me straight in!) In my experience, the presentation of the work itself drives its message over the edge. That said, this piece makes me want to know what else u have to say on this subject matter?
As soon as I read this piece, my gut wrenched with familiarity and association with not one, but many situations, phases, (etc.) in my own life. At the end of the piece; however, I wanted more - this piece scratched the surface and in time, I hope you revisit this to explore even deeper levels.
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