i really enjoyed reading this. my sleeping habits are all over the place and i feel it is so important for a persons well being to get that sorted. i really liked the different messages in this piece. i nice refreshing read - good work!
Dreams
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how beautiful - thanks for sharing this. the author has written such wonderful words. it is amazing how much we can learn from history. do you find these clippings on your ranch??
it must be so fascinating to read all this stuff.
all the best
Dreams
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This is beautiful Dottie. I hope your family have read it. I am sure it filled their hearts with joy and their eyes with tears. These are words we all need to here when a loved one has gone far. very touching. it made me think that about my own mother - life will be so hard without the people we love so dearly on this earth. we are blessed to have them in our life for as long as possible.
all the best
Dreams
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this is a very sweet piece. thank you for sharing it. i am amazed at how much you have been able to recall. i love listening to my mum talk about the past. it is filled with such fascination. i am sorry to hear that your brother passed away.
glad u got over your time in hospital
take care
Dreams
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wow! what an amazing read. i felt every action. so sorry to hear about ur sister. this i hope is away of coming to terms with such a loss. you coped so well under the circumstances and you are right - grief is very different for everyone.
i love your style of writing. you have a paid great attention to detail and so i really felt this piece. i was caught up in it all and to know it was all so real is very sad.
as a reader i would have liked to have known who all the members of the family were. not knowing made this piece harder to grasp but that is not such a bad thing.
welcome to writing.com! hope u enjoy your time here
this is a interesting piece - i feel that the quality of the poetry could be improved but i am more intrigued by the story behind this piece. who was this girl? why did she effect you in this way?
Great work here - u have conveyed an important message in such an well written manner. this is such a nice tribute for ur dad. u have give us a hint of the kind of hardworking, generous man that he must have been - well done! very touching piece.
just a few typos - did'nt - didn't
and complained - should be complain i think
It seems that there could have been so much more added to this story. what i read was sweet and touching. but i just felt that it was not finished, and if it was then the last chapter was not needed - it continued the story rather than ended it.
don't know if this is based on ur own experience - but glad the girl was ok
all the best
Very good work! it needs a read through to make it more clear but the general message was very good. My parents came and settled in the UK from India - and so I understand the issues you talk about well. there is a lot of conflict between keeping the family together and finacially being better off - it is not an easy decision to make.
A very gripping write. I really liked this story - the message was good - it was written well, and I was hooked. There were a couple of typos at the beginning and you said that Sandy attempted suicide right - well not really she just thought about it. i would look at that again. also i would revise the content rating because of the themes discussed i think this shoudl be R rated.
I loved ur own comments at the end - it really brought the whole isssue of discrimination to life - good work!
A very touching piece - i am guessing the Pam u refer to is another blue case on this site? that wasn't crystal clear - but this was a very honestly written, touching piece. i did think though that the reader was kind of left out there at the beginning as you found ur way to ur destination. we had no idea where this piece was going. the traffic jam was not interesting enough to keep the readers attention .i was ready to stop reading but i am glad i did not because i then came to the actual 'story'. a good read but the beginning could do with some work.
A very entertaining read. Glad you could see the funny side of it. this was written very well. i would just think u may like to add at the end that no one would believe them - the drs i mean who tell the story
an interesting piece - i am not a coffee drinker and i think that it says a lot about ppl if they need a cup of coffee to function through the day. i did not like this line though 'Brown goop building up in your veins to stay,' goop? coudl u not think of a better sounding word lol
Brilliant! I loved this Kings. As you know I have been helping you with your writings about your family so I feel like I know them all so well - and this expresses your love for your brothers so well. Your poetry seems to be developing really well. You have a nice rhythm and rhyme going and you have not restricted yourself either on the content. you have said so much here. your message is clear and the memories are a gift to us to read. thanks for sharing this with me.
just one thing you wrote 'he was lucky' but was it not you and your brothers that were lucky?
all the best Kings and thanks for posting in my forum. your support is always appreciated
cute piece - but i felt so much could be said about this great profession - how does it make u feel? how does it change you? u covered the basics here - but this piece did not leave me feeling much if u see what i mean. i could not sympathise with ur predicament or dilema. i could not cry or laugh with u and that is what i wanted to do.
i hope the teaching is going well. i am sure u have ur hands full btw i like the use of colour in this piece
A great write - very touching. I have never lost some one close to me but it must be very hard to come to terms with it. but i am glad you have come to terms with it with a little. and i think the questiosn u mention r ones that a lot of people would ask. but death comes to us all right - so we need to try and accept it.
very funny - i laughed out loud at this point 'Now I don't have to eat, or poop, or ANYthing!" '...for someone who is very skinny too i could understand your joy at gaining weight - in fact it is not healthy to be so skinny and my sis and i are always saying how strange it is that there r no books in the shops covering how to gain weight lol - the person reading the diet book would just die if u walked into a shop and picked up such a book right? it is sad that society is so focused on being skinny but not on being a healthy weight. i find it really difficult to put on weight eventhough i eat everything i like - which is a lot. it is not good to be skinny or fat and ppl if they can help it should not aim to be either. love ur writing style!
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Brilliant write!