Seriously one of the creepiest things I have ever heard. Bravo....Your descriptions are wonderful and take me right into the story. So seriously, this was true???
What wonderful way of setting the scene. I feel like I can see this older woman and she is someone I might know. You did a really good job and I enjoyed reading it.
This peaked my interest. I wanted to know more. I felt your sentences were sometimes a little overcrowded, but over all it was a very good piece and the beginning for a good story. The longer you wrote, I felt like you were more sure in your words and it seemed to flow better. Again I would like to see where the story goes...
I liked your use of emotion with your words. The first two paragraphs were wonderful. Maybe it's just me, but the length of each paragraph was offsetting. I felt like I was being rushed reading through it. The story is very sweet.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/gardngrl
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.22 seconds at 7:46am on Apr 26, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
