That was a cool story. Sometimes I want to live in the past, too. Especially during the Bible times, but I would have been cool with living during the Victorian Age or the Renaissance. You don't have any spelling or grammar mistakes that I noticed, and your story flowed very well. It was perfect.
It was a great short story, but if it was longer, it might make more sense. There are a few things you could do to make the story easier to read. Separate the dialogue instead of putting it all together. I would recommend putting every line of dialogue on a separate line. For example,
"Hi" she said.
"What?" he sounded annoyed.
"Never mind" She turned to walk away.
You don't have to, but it would make your story easier to follow. Just a few suggestions.
That was an amazing love story. I loved it. There were a few spelling and grammar mistakes, but not too many. But there were parts of the dialogue that could have been written better and parts that should have been dialogue that weren't. Overall, it needs to flow better and you need to proofread your work a little. I really liked this story.
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