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Public Reviews
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Review by Genipher
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love learning about natural cures for aches, pains, and ailments. Once upon a time, in a different life, I would have been a naturopath. Instead, I'm a mom to many redheaded minions children and often use what I know to help them when they're sick.

I had learned onion juice was great for ear infections (as long as the ear drum hasn't burst) but I hadn't heard that onion could be used for cough. I will definitely keep this in mind for the future, as coughing is always a lingering, annoying symptom in our family.

We also try to cut back on sugar when we're sick, though that can be hard to do.

Great first post!
And welcome to WDC!
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Review by Genipher
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
From I Write

I was just sitting and thinking of my goals for the month and realized, whoops! I forgot to review Ruwth!! Cutting it close, but here I am! *Laugh*

I've perused this...challenge? Habit Heroes but didn't quite "get" it until I read your piece. Though I'm still struggling to understand if this is a blog or if participants are supposed to create a "book"?

I could feel the angst of not finishing what you'd hoped to. I, too, am a "whiny butt" (teehee) and just want things done NOW instead of taking the time to enjoy the process,when it comes to my projects and goals. For example, we're currently working on a renovation project in our house and it's aggravating me to no end at how long it's taking.

I like the colorful bullet points you made (though one of them, at the beginning, looks like it's out of place...easy editing fix, right? Unless it doesn't bother you and then, meh).

I like your dropnote, with links to the calendar dates that match your bullet point goals. Easy way to keep track of where you're at. *Smile*

I think it's pretty cool that you're memorizing scripture in Spanish. And here I am, struggling to find time to memorize in my own native English tongue. I think that's one of the best goals to have, getting the Word in our hearts and minds. I need to make that my #1 goal!

I missed the deadline for April but you've got me interested in taking up the challenge when May comes.

Good luck eating those veggies. *Laugh* *Heart*
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Review by Genipher
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Apparently great minds think alike! Finished my story for the Cramp and was reading through the other entries to find that there was another (your!) alien rabbit story! *Laugh*

Good luck tomorrow!
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Review by Genipher
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
Hello again! Meant to drop a review yesterday but I got distracted with family life.

I had a thought while reading this story: this would make a great interactive! There are so many directions the McDonald's infiltration and the Big Mac attack could have gone. It totally could swing from a comedy of errors to gruesome horror. Have you ever started an interactive? I know they can be a bit hard to entice people to join, but there are several I find fun. I'm almost tempted to start a political interactive so writers can poke fun at both parties. Be interesting to see where the paths might lead.

"And in that Big Mac, insert the odorless, tasteless undetectable poison."
I read this and immediately thought of the Princess Bride, where the Dread Pirate Roberts says, "What you do not smell is called iocane powder. It is odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid, and is among the more deadly poisons known to man."
And, later, Humperdinck says, "Iocane powder, I'd bet my life on it!" After smelling it. *Laugh*
Anyway, one of my favorite movies. I couldn't help but imagine that the poison used in the Big Mac was possibly iocane powder.

I honestly can't imagine that Trump's son would become president upon Trump's death. Don't hear much about him these days. I would think DeSantis would step up. Or Ramaswamy. That would be more believable. But, meh. In a fantasy world anything can happen, right?

I enjoyed the first part of your story. Highly entertaining! The second half/end, though, was a bit...tedious. It's distracting to the reader to go from the flow of a story to a (rather boring) list. I know the Writer's Cramp's word limit makes it hard but, in the future, sharing the details of how the US splits (or something similar) is best told through showing vs telling. Let those details emerge naturally, with the action of the story.

Looking forward to reading more of your stuff! Gives good insight on what the other side is thinking/believes.
Hope you have a great weekend! *Bigsmile*
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Review of Sum Total  
Review by Genipher
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
Coming at you from I Write

Great use of the prompt words. I loved the image of "gravel peppering the underside of the car like gunshots".

I hate to say it but I'm pretty confused as to what this story is supposed to be about. It doesn't flow like a full story, more like a piece from a longer story that was cut out without context. I'm sorry, maybe it's just me but I don't "get it". *Blush*

Also, all the ellipses were a bit distracting.

Good luck on future stories at the Daily Flash Fiction.
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Review of Deceased Voices  
Review by Genipher
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Coming from I Write *Smile*

My first thought was, sheesh! I'm getting old! It's getting harder and harder to see the small letters! *Laugh* I love the use of a different font. It fits well for the creepy-ish prompt. But even with my glasses on, it's hard to read. My suggestion is to increase the size for us aging, nearsighted fogeys. *Wink*

And while I could track down what the prompt for your piece was through I Write, it would be handy if you had a dropnote or something so we can more clearly see what the prompt was/is.

I liked the rhythm of your poem.
I also liked how easy it was to understand. There are some poems out there that just leave me scratching my head, trying to figure out what the writer is trying to say. But your piece is clear.

Good start, having the person talking to a doctor. I would think anyone that could hear voices would start questioning their sanity. To find out one could hear the voices of the dead would be a relief, in a way. To know you're not crazy but just special enough to hear what others can't. Creepy, too, though. And sad. Many emotions in this poem. Good job!
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Review of Defending Home  
Review by Genipher
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Coming at ya from I Write

Went and peeked at the Daily Flash Fiction to see the prompt that inspired this writing. I love your take on the prompt. Refreshing to see someone think outside the box and do something that's not obvious. *Smile*

It could be helpful to include a dropnote (writing.com tools shows how, it's pretty easy) to separate and kind-of "hide" the word count in your story and include the prompt. Personally, I like being able to look back and see what the prompts were in my own stories/contest entries. Otherwise, I tend to forget.

For some reason "His would be a watery grave." gave me, as Anne of Green Gables would say, "a thrill". Good phrase that gives a good visual.

"We've secured victory, Men!" I'm thinking "men" shouldn't be capitalized, unless I'm missing the reason why it should. In which case, ignore me. *Laugh*

The captain lighting a cigar at the end startled me. All I could think was, "Smoking? In a SUB? Isn't that dangerous?" And then I had to ask my husband and we had a good laugh about how it's probably not the best thing to do but not necessarily taboo.

I like the sound of the De-Structor. Reminds me of the old Phineas and Ferb cartoons, with the evil scientist Doofenshmirtz and how all his gadgets were "inators". If this wasn't such a serious story, I would think the De-Structor could have been used to add some comedy. *Wink*

Thanks for the interesting read. Good luck with the contest!
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for entry "From the Shadows " 
Review by Genipher
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Brought to you by I Write

Great free verse. My only correction would be it's "warts" not "worts". Worts is a word that's used for names of plants.

I think that poetry, like art, should invoke the reader to "feel" something whether good or bad. Honestly, my first instinctual "feeling" was one of...defensiveness. As a woman, I don't see the feminine side being viewed as shameful or that we are diminished. At least, not in the US culture. I know in other cultures women are looked down on as less-than. I like how this poem allows one to examine their own culture and how masculine/feminine are treated without pointing out or accusing any one culture in particular.

My second thought was how true it is that we need both the masculine and feminine and how we do, indeed, bring out the best in each other. I see this in my own marriage.

I also couldn't help but think of the biology of masculine and feminine and how no matter our gender, we each have testosterone and estrogen, "carrying the essence of both" down to a hormonal level.

I'm not so sure that it's so cut and dried on how the "feminine births desires" and the "masculine makes them solid". I've seen masculine men that are visionary and feminine women who bring those visions to life. Those traits don't seem to be locked in to either masculine or feminine. However, there are definitely roles the feminine/masculine are more inclined to do best at.

I appreciate how deeply this poem made me think. And I love how it triggered feelings and how clear it was. I can't count how many times I've read a poem and just...not understood what the heck they were trying to say. *Laugh*

Good luck with the contest!
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Review by Genipher
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Brought to you from I Write *Bigsmile*

This is fun. We've both entered the same prompt at The Writer's Cramp today. *Laugh*

Well, Link certainly is a pretty horrid passenger! The type you wish could get tossed from the flight--mid-air. I laughed at how his case kept ejecting his undies. And "drop a devil donut" got a good chuckle. Great image, there.

Helpful hints: As much as I like your current title, the title has to be: The World's Worst Passenger or else you'll get disqualified.

When you wrote "The plane isn't at the Gate yet," she said. "I'm sorry, sir we're unable to do that. I'll be happy to board you in the group indicated on your ticket when it's time." You need a comma after "sir". And is "gate" supposed to be capitalized? Honestly not sure but it doesn't look quite right. Might want to double check. Also carry-on (your third paragraph) has a hyphen. *Wink*

I was kind of hoping that since Link ignored the safety instructions to, um, let loose the devil donut (lol), he would have emerged from the bathroom to find himself in a life or death situation. Maybe a crash landing on an uninhabited island where he suddenly finds himself surrounded by all the people he was rude to, with sciatica lady leading the charge. Mwahahaha!

On a more realistic note, perhaps edit to add insult to injury and let Link know he has been added to the "no fly" list?

A formatting hint: "writing.com tools" shows how to make a dropnote, which can make the word count and other notes about the prompt, etc look more "neat and tidy". They're kind of fun to create, too.

Good luck at the Cramp!
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Review by Genipher
Rated: E | (2.0)
Always interesting to hear "the other side's" opinions on this matter.

Great free-verse. I'm awful at poetry, even free-verse.

I've personally never heard politicians say "get over it" when talking about guns. Feel free to send a link or direct me to a quote where they have, to prove me wrong. I try to keep up on politics but sometimes things get missed. I've mostly heard from the conservative side that we need to deal with the mental illnesses that seem to be growing and causing people to want to go on a killing rampage. Though neither political side seems to have an answer on how to help with that issue.

What are your thoughts on the majority of gun violence being in gang areas?

No snark...how do we, as citizens, protect ourselves if our right to bear arms are taken away? What do we do when the Supreme Court says police are not legally obligated to protect us (Warren v. District of Columbia) and we potentially find ourselves in a dangerous situation?

What do we do when (according to the United States Dept of Justice) "650,000 ex-offenders are released from prison every year" with "studies showing that 2/3 of them will be re-arrested within 3 years of their release"? I mean, we see what happens when a violent criminal is allowed to walk over and over after being arrested...we end up with deaths like Laken Riley. So what do we do to protect ourselves if/when guns are banned? As a woman, I feel like I'm personally at disadvantage, physically, to protect myself or my children. Does the Democratic side have ideas on how we can protect ourselves if guns go bye-bye?

I love the irony in your poem, insinuating that gun owners are a threat while in the next breath gun owners and the politicians that uphold the constitution are threatened to be "haunted". *Laugh*

Again, great way to spark debate. Love it! I think more conversations are needed on these topics. Got me to do a bit of research (on a Saturday! *Wink*) again.
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Review by Genipher
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Brought to you from I Write

I love the beginning of this story. Really feels like I'm there, at the lake. You had some great phrases that just sang. Like "letting her toes dance over the surface". I could almost feel that. Just lovely. *Smile*

I see you're doing a back-and-forth on character perspective but the second part, where Alessia hopes to bump into the mystery singer at the open mic night? It feels like that should be cut out. More exciting for the reader to discover the singer is at the bar as Alessia discovers her. Otherwise, it feels a little too convenient for Alessia to hope the woman is there and then actually find her.

Noticed a few times you forgot to capitalize when someone was starting to speak. Might want to go back and re-check and fix those few instances.

Here when you wrote:
"Tomorrow at one o'clock?" Again Dain nodded and Alessia added, " Janzen will come by to get you. ' You called her Dain instead of Dani. Easy mix up on typing, I can see. But something the WDC official contest would probably notice.

Also, here:
When she finished, the crowd hooped and hollered with the roar of clapping. Dani flushed rosy behind her radiant smile.
I believe the word is "whooped", not hooped. *Wink*

Ending seemed a bit...abrupt. Like there should have been more or, perhaps, less. I almost feel like you could have ended it with "Holy s***..." and it would have been perfect.

Enjoyed the story. Fit the WDC prompt wonderfully!
Good luck with the contest!
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Review by Genipher
Rated: ASR | (1.0)
Found myself intrigued by your "story", though it read more like an article. Reads like you were in a hurry. There's a long run-on sentence at the beginning. Several times a sentence isn't capitalized. And twice you call Kyle "Karl", which kind of gives the impression that you didn't care enough about the topic to be clear on details.

I also got confused when I started reading about the Salem Witch Trial part. Thought it was part of your story before I caught on it was the Writer's Cramp prompt. If you haven't learned yet how to make a dropnote, I highly suggest it. They're very helpful to add details without detracting from your writing. You could even have a second dropnote for all the details about Kyle and the trial. Shows how to create one in Writing.com Tools.

Honestly, I can't imagine Rittenhouse ever being in office for anything, ever. I think it would cause too much controversy. I wouldn't call him a heroic figure, and I'm conservative myself. However, it is a relief how this trial showed that if, say, I'm being attacked (whether for engaging in my second amendment rights or not), I can defend myself. Or maybe I can't, since I'm white? So hard to understand the rules these days.

Very true that this piece in history caused a lot of controversy. Seems many details got lost along the way to this trial.

For example, Kyle wasn't carrying an AK47 but an AR15 (and yes, there IS a difference). As an aside, have you ever wondered why they assign AR to certain guns but not others? Technically they're all "assault" weapons.

Or like how one of the men who got shot, Joseph Rosenbaum, was a pedophile, who confronted Rittenhouse and started the chase. Or that Anthony Huber slammed Kyle in the head with his skateboard after Kyle fell to the ground, after Kyle was trying to run toward the police to get help. I don't know about you, but if someone used their skateboard to try to crush my head, I'd feel more than "threatened", I'd feel like my very life was on the line.

And then, of course, Gaige Grosskreutz, who lied on stand about about pointing his own gun at Kyle. He eventually admitted on the stand that Kyle didn't try to shoot any of the men until he, Grosskreutz, aimed a gun at Kyle. A gun Grosskreutz illegally carried, as he did not have a conceal carry permit.

I know there was some controversy that Grosskreutz was also a felon. If that was true, him carrying a gun would have been all the more illegal. Though we know bad guys don't follow gun laws so, what can you do? It is odd that Grosskreutz's criminal charges from a previous event were completely dropped 6 days before the Rittenhouse trial. Guess you're right...those that have the gold make the rules. Especially when an anti-gun agenda is potentially at stake.

Many other details are out there, swirling in the interwebz. I would have liked to have seen an unbiased back and forth in your article, even if it made the liberal/democrats look bad. More on the men that were shot.

As an aside, although the men who were shot and killed were bad guys, I don't agree they deserved a death sentence. However Kyle, just like any American no matter their color, has the right to defend themselves from a mob. And their background kind of shows the intent of these particular men vs, say, if Kyle had shot a youth pastor or a police officer or an actual innocent bystander.

I find it sad that so many, including the President of the USA, condemned Kyle before he ever went to trial. Whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty? Sad that photo and audio evidence were clearly ignored by many (and still is), in order to push a certain narrative. It's awful how we judge based off of color or political party instead of looking at all the details and coming to the Truth.

Your article does a good job firing up folks, though. Also a good way to lead people to look up ALL the facts instead of just trusting the word of one person or source, y'know? Anyway, appreciate you tackling the controversial stuff.
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Review of Space Wars  
Review by Genipher
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Greetings from I Write

I've looked at this activity several times and, honestly, I've struggled to understand what, exactly, the creator wants from us. Your entry helped give me an idea of what Angelica is looking for. Even so, I'm left with a lot of questions. Are the hearts physical or figurative? How do we share hearts? Is this like a video game or real life? Are these space dragons or Earth dragons fighting against a space threat?

With 1000 words to use, I would have loved to read a more in-depth prompt about these hearts and dragons and how we're allying with them.

The prompt also has me scratching my head a bit. The hearts cause life to fall in love and birth more dragons...any life? Plants? Animals? Humans? A little freaky to think of a human randomly giving birth to a dragon-child, much less being forcefully used to increase their numbers...or else!

Grammar, spelling, etc are all perfect.
I love your dragon image! Very fitting for this prompt. *Bigsmile*
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for entry "Take a Hike" 
Review by Genipher
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Live from I Write, here's your review!

First, took me waaay too long to figure out this was a blog-post contest entry. Then I had to go figure out who the heck Andre is. Have to admit, that ape has me both scared and intrigued. Not quite sure how to take him. Anyway, appreciate being introduced to another aspect of WDC.

I have to say, I agree with much of your post about hiking. While I do enjoy being outside, a ten-mile hike does not sound pleasant. I don't want to have to dig a latrine, especially as a woman!

I remember years ago my husband got swindled by a friend into taking two of our boys on a hike. And I mean, it was a hike!. Boys and husband weren't used to such a long trek so after ten miles of trudging along, they were sore and tired, there wet feet wrinkled and pale from tromping through water, and they vowed never to hike again! Hiking is definitely something you want to build up to and not just jump into willy-nilly.

Also, good point about the expense. Just a brief mention in your blog, but it's true. To really get into that activity you have to have good hiking equipment. And that can definitely add up!

I love the gif you inserted in your blog. What a fun way to bring levity, give a rest for the eyes (especially if someone has a long block of text), or tie subjects and thoughts together. Didn't realize we could do that. Never even noticed the giphy button until now. However I am not tech savvy and




Commas are my kryptonite but I think I noticed a place or two where you needed one. But as this is a blog where you're just talking with friends, meh. Not a biggie.

At the risk of sounding like Charlie Brown and being all wishy-washy...while I don't relish the idea of a 10-mile hike, there is something alluring about accomplishing the American Discovery Trail or being able to boast about completing the Natchez Trace Trail...

Enjoy your healthy hikes this year...and your lunch! *Laugh*
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for entry "Invalid Entry" 
Review by Genipher
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Coming to you from I Write *Bigsmile*

Poetry is not my forte so when I saw a poem was behind me to review, I started to panic. Then I read your piece and, I have to say, this is one of my most favorite poems ever! Short, simple, to the point. I can understand it easily. Very funny, a poem being written about a poem! I want to say it's ironic, but my know-it-all daughter says it's the wrong word. Meta, perhaps? *Laugh*

Love the consistency in all the words being lowercase.

Not knowing much about poetry, I appreciated the dropnote and all the extra information you provided. This seems like a style that I could teach to my kids, as it's pretty straightforward.

Wish I could find something to nitpick but spelling and everything is perfect!
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Review of Runaway  
Review by Genipher
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
There is so much about this story that I love.

*Heart* I love how real you've made the homeless situation, including both ne'er-do-wells and all-around good people that genuinely want to get back on their feet.

*Heart* I love how Alice matter-of-factly reminds Joey that God, indeed, looks after them. Even if Joey doesn't believe it anymore, doesn't make it less true. A little child shall lead them, yes? *Smile*

*Heart* I love the great timing on humor. Alice snatching the apple and claiming eating healthier will make one less fat...yup. My 6-year-old has made such claims before. Amazing and embarrassing how little kids have no filters. *Laugh* I also love the antisocial pessimist being contagious joke. Made me literally laugh out loud.

Grammar and spelling was great. I can't see any issues there.

I do have one nitpick, and it could just be me but, Alice being Joey's daughter came across as too predictable. I totally get how God orchestrated the whole thing and whole-heartedly believe He does things like that but...it just seemed a little too convenient. Honestly, I was expecting Alice to be an angel, with those blonde ringlets of hair. When I realized she was real and everyone could see her, I expected her to become a sort of adopted daughter. A way to redeem Joey from his past mistakes but not actually related to him. But maybe I've become too used to a weird twist in stories instead of just enjoying a heart-warming journey of a father and daughter's reconciliation.

Oh, and on a more technical note: If you look under writing.com tools it will show you how to create a Dropnote ▼ , which allows a reader to click and read the details of your story without all the "excess" potentially distracting at the end.

Very enjoyable tale. Good luck on the Short Shots contest!
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Review of Bunny Food.  
Review by Genipher
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Just wanted to remind you that derivatives of the taboo words will disqualify you. So "leafed" is, I believe,"taboo".
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Review by Genipher
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Ah, if only each person in the world could have an experience like this, and believe!

Great use of the prompt words.

My only beef is with the idea that there isn't pain in a normal dream. I'm one of those weirdos that can read, see color, and feel pain in dreams. I once had a dream where it was raining and I could feel the wetness of the drops on my skin, like I was really experiencing it. I don't think pain can be an indicator of whether a person is dreaming or not.

In this sentence:"That is fascinating. You hold three Ph.D.’s, one in physics, one in philosophy and one in phycology..."
Did you mean psychology? Because phycology is the study of seaweed and algae...

Alrighty, hope I was helpful.
Good luck at the Cramp!
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Review by Genipher
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is why I tell my kids over and over and over again that they can't trust that the person they "meet" online is who they say they are. That there's a danger in the world of the interwebz. Deprived individuals who get a sick pleasure out of pretending to be a child or the opposite gender, to a nefarious end.

I, too, don't see the reason a person would lie about who they are, unless they have an evil intent. I mean, if I didn't want someone to know my gender, I would leave it blank. *Rolleyes* And if someone called me "he", I would gently correct them. I've done it before. It's not a big deal. But, yeah, if someone doesn't say anything and then you find out they're not who they say they are, there's that feeling of betrayal.

There are times it's helpful, here at WDC, to know a person's gender. There have been prompts, before, where we're asked to use WDC members as characters in a story.

You said:
When I meet someone here on WDC and have a rapport, my naive little brain thinks it could be a friendship that lasts a lifetime. Perhaps I have my head in the clouds on this, and in reality, it's just a pipe dream. I mean, no one ever meets people online and develops a REAL friendship, do they? (read sarcastically).

and I just wanted to say 2 things:

1. There are times WDC members decide to meet up in real life. I believe there have been events, in the past, where large groups of folks here have traveled to meet and do writer's workshops, etc. So, yes, real friendships can be made and cultivated here.

2. I met my husband online. We'll have been married for 19 years this year. We're best friends and our love has only grown over the years. So, again, yes! An online friendship can be life-long.

And in the words of Forest Gump, "That's all I have to say about that."
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Review of The Box  
Review by Genipher
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
Well, that had a creepy ending. No ticking to indicate how dangerous but, yeah, dude should have trusted his gut.

One big thing, you've got this rated as E but you've used naughty words and mentioned drugs so this needs to be changed to 18+

*Crazy**Shamrock* A review to celebrate you in "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 's March Mayhem Raid! *Tophat**Bigsmile*
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Review of Testing!  
Review by Genipher
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.0)
Hiya, Faith! Glad you found the path to WDC. I think you'll like it here. Lots of kind folks, friends around every corner. Won't be long before you'll get the hang of entering contests, participating in fun activities, and of course, writing and sharing your own work.

Saw you got your portfolio blurb up. Just wanted to encourage you to have fun with your bio. It's another great way for folks here to get to know you a bit better.

Hope you enjoy yourself here! See ya around!*Bigsmile*


*Crazy**Shamrock* A review to celebrate you in "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 's March Mayhem Raid! *Tophat**Bigsmile*
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Review of "The Aristocrats"  
Review by Genipher
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I don't know why, but I stared at the word "daquiris" for far too long before it finally clicked in my brain what it was supposed to be. Reminds me of the first time I saw "Bichon Frise" written down and said, "Bitchin' Freeze"*Laugh* I guess you can tell I ain't much of a drinker, eh?

Okay, getting off that bunny trail...

Entertaining story. I love watching comedians. Seems like a hard job, though, to keep an act flowing and the audience laughing. Glad Emmie could see the humor in her friend crashing and burning. *Fire* *Wink*

Story seemed to fluctuate perspectives, which is a little distracting. Otherwise, great short story! Though I am curious what crime Sean was framed for...



*Crazy**Shamrock* A review to celebrate you in "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 's March Mayhem Raid! *Tophat**Bigsmile*
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Review of The Dialogue 500  
Review by Genipher
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
"Welcome to the best darn contest on WDC!"

"The best, eh? Are you sure that wasn't a bunch of he said, she said?"

"Duh, of course not. That's not allowed here."

"Really? How about 'he asked'? Or 'she pouted'?"

"Not a teeny bit."

"Well, then how will the readers know who's speaking? Or where the scene is set? Or..."

"That's where creativity comes into play. And, trust me, it's a ton of fun coming up with something outside-the-box and amusing to the readers!"

"That does sound kinda interesting..."

"More than kinda! Like I said, best contest ever. Every month there is a fun prompt-"

"Like?"

"Hm. Well, like having a conversation with a vampire or Santa or two people trapped on a desert island."

"That sounds pretty cool. Sounds like something I could do."

"And then there's the prizes--"

"There's prizes?"

"I thought that would catch your attention. Yup, you get GPs just for entering!"

"What else? I assume there's a first place prize?"

"Sounding kinda greedy there, friend but, yeah. First place prize is 5k GPs and a Merit Badge."

"That's it. I can't stand it any longer!"

"What do you mean?"

"I've got to enter this contest. It's the best darn thing I've ever heard about!"

"Told ya so!"



*Crazy**Shamrock* A review to celebrate you in "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 's March Mayhem Raid! *Tophat**Bigsmile*
49
49
Review by Genipher
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
What an interesting experience. My dad said he saw a flying object like that. He lives in Oregon, out in the country. Said he was out putting the chickens to bed and it came from over the trees, spotted him, and stopped just as he noticed it. Like it was watching him. He said he just stood there, staring, until it zipped up and went back over the trees, toward the hills.

Dad just shrugged off the experience because he knew there was a government facility a few miles away. He said he figured the government was out testing. Or trying to set him up so he'd run to the press.

I've seen weird things, too but, as a Christian (and being much like my dad) I just kinda shrug them off as spiritual or the government trying out new tech, etc.

Since you worked for in the Navy and have more knowledge of what goes on in the military, etc., do you think it could have been a government experiment that you witnessed?


*Crazy**Shamrock* A review to celebrate you in "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 's March Mayhem Raid! *Tophat**Bigsmile*
50
50
Review by Genipher
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
As a stay-at-home mom of 8 wonderfully evil minions, I totally understand the chaos. Thankfully, I have a mix of both genders so the house isn't 100% testosterone! A friend of mine has 5 girls, so she's got the house flooded with estrogen. I'm sure her husband loves all the random sobbing that females can bring to the table. *Wink*

Anyway, from my experience, taking time to write actually causes the minions to lose it more rather than less. *Laugh* It would be lovely if getting a p/t job writing about being a stay-at-home mom solved the problems of disobedient, lazy, willful minions. I mean, how can I get them to take over the world if they can't even pick their clothes up off the floor?

Still, what doesn't work for one mom could work for another, as proven in your story. *Smile*

Anyway, as to the actual story..."seeing" the action of the fighting boys was a good touch. Mostly telling rather than showing, but it worked. No punctuation, spelling, or grammar errors that I could spot.

Appreciated a story that acknowledges how hard it can be for us stay-at-homers. Thank ya!




*Crazy**Shamrock* A review to celebrate you in "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 's March Mayhem Raid! *Tophat**Bigsmile*
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