Very suspenseful and very well orchestrated. I like the way the story unfolds. I love the characters and the way the interact, act, and speak. I was completely engrossed in this! This is completely original and great! Professional!
At first I though "Sheesh" because there were a lot of things to put in, but it worked, and now I am ready to write...after a nap lol. I love madlibs, and I love Thanksgiving, so this is perfect. lol, only one of my choices actually worked.
The pain and loss you felt comes through in this. Not completely, but I know from experience that nothing can express the pain completely. Your punctuation is good, as is your grammar and spelling. All in all, this was a good poem. Thanks so much for your bravery in sharing this.
A very dark and surprising turn to this. I like the feeling that the poem opens with, but I'm not fond of the violent turn. That is only my opinion though. I like the personification though. This is slightly haunting, and brings up imagery.
Nice contest you have here. Horror is my favorite genre, and Urban Legends are a pastime of mine! I like the way you've set it up, as well. The opening banner really grabs you and holds you. You have a couple invalid items though...just to let you know.
Being a lover of Greek/ROman mythology, and a Latin alumni myself, I found this completely hilarious! You've got such an imagination to do this, and it's so right on the money! You're knowledge is great! I'm not sure if most...95% of people know who Stheno or Euryale even are! LOL
Religious items have never been my cup of tea but this item is great! The charge you put into it really comes through adn you have a knack for poetry, besides. Normally I would say you need to put this piece into stanzas but I think you'd lose the current then. Great item!
Maybe a little longer would help extend the thoughts and feelings. You have a little problem with spacing and lines though. Doing that helps the reader know where to pause and absorb what they have read. I like the stright-forwardness of this though. Good read!
Wonderful use of acrostic style poetry here. I like the way you really get to the heart of the profession. Are you really a police officer? I like the way you have it rhyme too. It gives a light-hearted feel to a very somber career. Nice read here. Hope you did/do well in this installment of Idol.
Well organized and very informative. I can't believe you've actually taken the time to give examples...and good examples they are. I've always wondered what all the types of poetry there were and how to do them. I may even try some of them. Thanks again for having this. I'm adding this to my journal for items I've loved.
I was just looking at my statistic wondering what they meant! This is great. It's well laid out, understandable, and it even has colors and other ML to liven it up. It's is very cool that you've created this item to explain something that Some people don't understand. Thanks a lot....for this and all your other items like this.
Wonderfully deep and emotional. I especially like the first stanza about staring through the screen and not being able to feel. I can almost hear what music would go with it. It would be a slow song, but with a slight pep to it to emphasize the good feelings you have when your home, but the beat would slow because you're away from home and losing those feelings. Great lyrics!
It's got a nice flow and a good rhyming scheme. I like poems about personal strife and I think it's interesting to see what people ask themselves. It's different for everyone. I write poems like this too. I also like that this isn't short. So many poems I review are short and hard to review. Good job!
It's got a good storyline, and it unfolds well, but I think it could be a bit broken up. You know, spaces. It would help it flow better and allow the reader to digest what they read if there were break and paragraphs and such. Just a thought. It was a very good story and I enjoyed it.
Interesting depth and structure. I'd love to see more. I know it's a short story but it screams: "Take me farther!". I like the analytical feel to it. Overall it's poetic, intelligent, and unique. I like the part where you're trying to name her. Good piece.
I like the way you almost make it seem like a story of humans then deliver the great kicker at the end. I think the personification and mystery of this story well done! Nice use of punctuation and suspense. A very well written story.
It has an nice feel to it and sort of make the poem more real in the mind. Not that it wasn't real...lol. It kind of makes the reader more receptive to your emotion.
Nice feeling here. I wish it were longer. I like the color and use of bold here. Maybe you should take out the two periods. If not, add one after destroys, and both mes.
I like the looks of no punctuation at all except a question make after the last sentence. It would give the poem closure and poignancy.
A good persoanl piece here. You definetely show your endurance here...even if at the time you didn't want to go on. Good flow.
You should set a content rating though so more people will see it.
I like the touch of blue. Simple, but sometimes color can convey emotion. You might think of adding another color to the last linee or no color at all so that you determination for your children shows though. Maybe even make it a new line? Hmm...
This is a wonderfully executed and laid out item. It's bright, cheerful, and very eye appealing! Not only that, but very easy to read and understand. You've combined c-notes, raffle, and donation to a great cause all in one. You're a real professional! It's such a maveous idea too!
Good poem. It has a natural expression of emotion, but not painfully obvious. it makes the reader read more into it. Good! Okay, here are my suggestions.
clouds of tears that
I'm not sure if THAT is needed here. It has a good flow without it.
The sun ever shining outside
while rainy deep within your heart,
but will not tell a soul.
first line good. I might try "while rainING deep within your heart." Last line, WHO won't tell a soul. do you see what I mean?"
Emotions roaring, as acting has
come so easily while putting on
a front to hide what you really
feel inside, while not telling a
living soul
I would try breaking up the syntax a bit. try this:
Emotions roaring,
as acting has come so easily
while putting on afront to hide
what you really feel inside,
while not telling a living soul
{color:red}The next two stanzas could be broken up like that too.
looking back, looking ahead feelings
"feelings" could start the next line.
that have never gone away sure no one
can tell for you are never telling a soul.
could go like this:
that have never gone away
sure no one can tell
for you are never telling a soul.
it is still upon your face, you think
"you think" could start the next line.
and learn to go on while never
"while never" could start the next line.
clouds of tears that
"that" could start the next line
Basically, those are my suggestions. You have a real knack for emotional (self) poetry. The biggest thing i had with this is it's problem with breaks. If you read your poem out loud, you can usally find the natural flow of things. Again, these are just suggestions.
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clouds of tears that