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13 Public Reviews Given
47 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of The Airshow  
Review by Jordan Langer
Rated: E | (3.0)
The writing style is different, but it's not entirely bad. If you really wanted to work on this one, you could dissect it and make it poem. That would take away some of the awkward sentence forms. A few grammar issues here. Good descriptions.
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Review of Irony  
Review by Jordan Langer
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am actually quite fond of this kind of poetry (merely observation), and I must say that you've done a wonderful job with this one. I really like where you've chosen to break your lines. Thank you for being creatively descriptive; the descriptions "verandah" and "eucalypt thrones" help the reader stand in the writer's shoes.
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Review of Autumn Wishes  
Review by Jordan Langer
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well, thank you for persuading me to drop by your portfolio. It was well worth the time, and all the descriptions are so elegantly threaded.

Good to read something besides the cliche teenage angst poetry that is common in writing websites like this.

If you have time, you could review something from my portfolio...perhaps this poetry piece:

 In Gratitude  (E)
2 poems. A mock reproduction of William Carlos Williams' "This is just to say..."
#1248976 by Jordan Langer


You're expertise in writing is very evident. This poem particularily struck me.
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Review of Beauty Missed  
Review by Jordan Langer
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nothing to criticize here. Gorgeous descriptions. Sunsets are endless topics... thanks for not being cliche!

Know the feeling. Have you ever been to Disney World? The fireworks are wonderful, and I can remember wishing there was someone I could wrap my arms around.

We simply cannot enjoy things as much when alone. That's why God created women for men. But I think someday the tradgedy ends.

Thanks for the testimony.
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Review by Jordan Langer
Rated: E | (3.0)
Really like the last line "we dine in the dark". The idea of an unsigned valentine card is also striking. Some of the lines seem cliche, though, and I think you could come up with a better way to introduce your poem in the first two lines.
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Review of The Drinking Pool  
Review by Jordan Langer
Rated: E | (4.5)
Yes. This is a quality poem. Thanks for suggesting I read it.

If you have time, go ahead and read a poem that I have written. It is a free verse poem, so it may or may not suit you. And I do not mind criticism.

{bitem: 1248879}

This poem really deserves praise. Good work.
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Review of Cold Bed  
Review by Jordan Langer
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Good closure sentence. There are some fragments, and sometimes the sentences even contain too much brevity. Try varying your sentence openers as well.
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Review by Jordan Langer
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
This is a very thorough analysis of the bill of rights. Though I do come from a Protestant Christian opinion, I do think that the separation of church and state is provided for in the Constitution. However, you should be careful to consider these rights in their authorial context. Especially when you assert that you do not believe that cruel and unusual punishment has been properly handled even yet, you ought to remember what kinds of torture the writers were intending: quartering, tar and feathering, hanging, and public humiliation. One last comment. Do not entirely discredit the role of religion in founding democracy, which Americans generally consider the idealistic form of government. Democracy is a Protestant idea, and follows Protestant theology. It is based on the depravity of man (that is why there is the checks and balance system) and the trinity (executive, legislative, and judiciary branches of government).
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