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58 Public Reviews Given
81 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Trick or Tweet  
Review by KowaiiMusume
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Very interesting way of looking at things for the future of the world. You covered quite a bit of time frame in a very short time. I believe your message is well thought out, be it right or wrong , seeing as it hasn't happened yet. I love a good futuristic story that still contains realism in it.

I really didn't see much as far as grammar mistakes or misspelling. I think your good on that but then I was too engrossed in reading to really pay attention. Your story kept me focused on what you were writing.

Great job! Keep that imagination going and write more. There will be those of us out here that will read it as soon as it hits the net. *ThumbsUp*

KowaiiMusume
Proud Member of CSFS
2
2
Review of Onward  
Review by KowaiiMusume
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Sort of a bleak outlook for man kind, but a good start. It left me with a desire to read more, and I am sure that is what most writers want from readers. I know I do when I write something. I only noticed a few possible punctuation problems, but I'm no expert on it.

I liked the way you brought out the suspense, making me feel like there was hope a survivor would be found, only to bring it to the inevitable end that I was anticipating. However, I found it flowed well and was an easy read that was interesting to me, even though I'm not much of a sci-fi reader.

KowaiiMusume
Proud Member of CSFS
3
3
Review of The Sound  
Review by KowaiiMusume
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
My heavens, I hope that isn't a true story. For the life of me, I couldn't stop laughing through this read. When I first began to read, it was very calm, like the start of a good movie that eventually turns into some kind of horror film or mystery. As I progressed, I began to chuckle, then laughed out loud drawing the attention of my two daughters who were trying to do their home work.

Curious after my explanation of why I was laughing, they wanted to hear more. I began to read, from the start mind you (I had to build up the same affect it had on me to get the reaction I was anticipating) clear to the end. They soon found themselves laughing with me. They both commented the story was great. At the end, one commented, "please don't tell me that it's true."

On a more productive note, I have to be honest and tell you, I was so engrossed that I didn't even notice any mistakes. Your story flows very well as it is without any changes. Upon a second read, there may be something I could find but I don't see a need in doing so. This story was completely enjoyable to me and my two daughters. You did an awesome job. *ThumbsUp*

KowaiiMusume
Proud Member of CSFS
4
4
Review by KowaiiMusume
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
What a wonderful story. I'm all tingly inside from it. Thank you for sharing this with all of us lucky enough to read it.

KowaiiMusume
Proud Memeber of CSFS
5
5
Review by KowaiiMusume
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a great story so far. I like the battle scene explanation and how Myrl chastised himself with his father's words. I was a bit confused in the second sentence though. It may be just me, but I'm not clear on who's ears were turning red with anger. A little rewording might help with that.

I saw a few places where some rewording or moving a sentence might help with the flow of the story more, but that is up to you. Over all I found this small teaser a great start to something more. It left me with the desire to see what else was going to happen, find out who was out to kill off Myrl's family and why. Keep going with this and I'm sure it will be read by others who feel the same way.

KowaiiMusume
Proud Member of CSFS
6
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Review of Blossoms Maligned  
Review by KowaiiMusume
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I experienced many emotions after reading this. First my heart felt sadness for those in that room. I felt like crying for the two young lovers who just confessed their emotions for each other. It all seemed so unfair. I couldn't even imagine the terror anyone would feel in such a situation as that. Next was despair for all of them. A feeling of hopelessness from being in a trap you can't get out of without some kind of loss, can only be described as taxing on anyone.

I felt anger toward those responsible for doing something so horrible. Again, I couldn't imagine what would cause someone to do such a thing. I realize that I am a bit naive in many ways, and psychologist have many different diagnoses to describe such behavior, but I can't understand any of it. Life in general means more to me than I do to myself. Maybe I'm wrong in feeling like this, but it is just how it is for me.

I even felt a deep sorrow for those committing such a terrible crime. I can only try to imagine what drove them to do such a thing.

In the end, I felt sadness again for the families of the victims. All the questions they would have without any real explanation that can justify this sort of act.

To sum it up, I felt sadness, despair, hopelessness and sorrow. If you were looking to get this from a reader, then you accomplished what you set out to do. I applaud your efforts in writing this, it was a great story and the kind of story I'm not that good at, because I have a hard time facing the evils of the world let alone writing about them. If there were any mistakes to be mentioned, I didn't notice them during the two times I read this. I couldn't read it a third time or I would have started to cry for Tom and Sarah. Excellent job.

KowaiiMusume
Proud Member of CSFS
7
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Review by KowaiiMusume
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Since this was titled 'What does love create part II', I thought it best to read part I first to get a clearer understanding of your meaning behind the question.

I soon found out that this is more than a question. There are many questions and suggestions within both. The more I read, the more I found myself trying to answer the questions. Not so much for the answer, but for my own piece of mind.

I find this intriguing. Thank you for the challenge to think.

As far as mistakes, there are few that I noticed, misused word (you wrote their and I think you meant there), a couple of commas missing but I am probably wrong about that.

Keep writing so we can read.
KowaiiMusume
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Review of Dear Angela  
Review by KowaiiMusume
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Well hello there. Nice to finally get a moment to finally greet you. I'm sort of 'a behind the scenes' sort of person when it comes to groups like CSFS, so please forgive the lateness of this introduction. Not to say, I am of any importance to the group itself, I just do things in my own time. I find life too short to be in a hurry all the time. *Cool*

Anyway, I try to review each new member when I get a chance, and for some reason, the title of this caught my eye. I have a friend named Angela and a letter to the other woman would be just up her alley, considering her cheating ex-husband. Or so I thought when I first read it. Boy was I mistaken. It never crossed my pea brain to think the letter would be from the cheater.

Well, I would have to say, this would scare the crap out of my friend. LOL, not really. She would enjoy it as much as I do. It a great play on words. I found myself looking back to the picture as I read with that feeling of 'OH MY GOD!' thing when I read Steven King or Wes Craven. Nicely done. There is no mention about Angela's personality or back ground what so ever, but I can't help but feel sorry for her.

Again, well done. I will read more of your work when I find time.

Keep writing so we can read it.

KowaiiMusume
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Review of Nightfall  
Review by KowaiiMusume
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very sad reflection. I like the deep meaning of loss. It brings out a remorseful feeling that draws on my heart.

I noticed a couple of typos but otherwise, there wasn't much else I noticed. This reads like a poem but is written in paragraph format. You might want to change that, but then again, you may have wanted it that way. Regardless, it doesn't take away from it.

This is a great short read. Keep up the great work.

KowaiiMusume
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10
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Review of Apple  
Review by KowaiiMusume
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
As I have stated before, I don't read poetry much, but after reading some of the work I have found here on WDC, I am beginning to learn a deep respect for it.

This poem is one that pulls that respect from my heart. I think any woman can relate to the depth of it. I like the reference between sin and the many things that were actually lost from the encounter. Perhaps I am interpreting too much in it, or the poem may have reminded me of my own digressions, I'm not sure. But it definitely brought out many emotions from me as I read it. If that is what you were looking to get from the reader, you obtained it from this one.

Great job. I look forward to reading more of your work.

KowaiiMusume
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Review of The Tenant of 306  
Review by KowaiiMusume
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Thank you for the warning. I don't think I'll be able to face any door with the numbers 306 on them again. Just kidding, its all smiles here. I think you've done a great job with this. It would make a great script for one of those shows like the 'Crypt Keeper'.

I like the way you brought out the main character's personality, or should I say personalities. The addition of Gemma is still a mystery though. I understand the need to bring her in for plot's sake, but I have to wonder how long was she gone? I mean, if Adam was in the apartment for a month before she came to get her bird, then logic would suggest that the bird wouldn't have lived that long without attention, or did he torture it for that period of time? It just seems strange that she would leave it that long with someone since she seems very obsessive to get it back. I don't know, it just raises questions in my mind about the length of time Adam was there.

I think there are a couple of missing words, but nothing noticeable. I had to read this twice just to notice them at all.
This is a great story and I would recommend others to read it.

Good luck with it.
KowaiiMusume
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Review by KowaiiMusume
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a great start. Some missing words and commas but nothing too bad. Once you re-read it, you'll find them.
I like all the characters, they are each exciting in their own way, with a touch of mystery added. I hope there is more about Theresa. I'm going to read the entries in your portfolio.

Keep writing.
KowaiiMusume
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13
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Review of Whisper Of A Name  
Review by KowaiiMusume
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Ooo, that sent a tingle through my body at the end. Very nice story, sad but intriguing all the same. I liked the subtle references made to biblical happenings in regard with the happenings at present within the story. I felt like crying but at the same time felt calm.

I think there are some missing commas but other than that, I was enjoying the story and didn't notice anything else.

Great story.
KowaiiMusume
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14
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Review by KowaiiMusume
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I have read all your chapters and let me tell you, that was quite a bit to consider in a review. I think it is important to get a complete feel for a story before reviewing. I think you have a great story line going here. The characters are vivid and exciting.


The story does move fast, like you stated in the beginning, and covers quite a bit of information. I had a hard time staying focused on the story though. I think there was just too much going on at once for me.

My suggestion would be to take each chapter and work through them a bit slower. I had to do this with my stories before and it does help. Proof reading them over again helps you to see where you can improve the flow of your stories. You will find some paragraphs and sentences that need re-written or moved, and some you will completely delete. You might even turn one chapter into two. I've had to do this, just to keep the content flowing at a good rate with out losing important information.

I'm not saying its a bad story, I really liked the idea behind it, I just had a hard time staying focused on it. Others might too and not say anything. It could just be me too, I'm an old woman set in my ways.

Anyway, keep going with this. You have a great start. I will be keeping an eye out for more.

Write on so we can read it!

KowaiiMusume
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15
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Review by KowaiiMusume
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
An interesting read to say the least. I'm not the best at reading work like this. I find it a bit difficult and cryptic. I did, however, find it a delightful story full of all the elements of a good tale. The open ending leaves you free, as the writer/creator, to do as you please, whether it be to write more or leave it as is.

I liked all the characters very much. Molly reminded me of the heroin from 'Dudley Doright' (can't remember her name at the moment). Although Molly is portrayed as being sunny and bright, when faced with strife, she becomes whiny and loses confidence. Pol is a righteous hero in his convictions, willing to give his life for the one he loves. Jack plays the part of his side kick rather well. All in all, it is a great story.

The only suggestion I might make would be to work on grammar a bit so the sentences flow better. There are a few missing commas and such but nothing some proof reading wouldn't take care of.

Great Job!
KowaiiMusume
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16
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Review of Life From Death  
Review by KowaiiMusume
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This story is very moving to me. I'm sympathetic to anyone who loses their loved ones, but this was very emotional. As far as any correction, I see many sentences where you use the word 'and' more than once or twice. Some restructuring of those sentences might help to make the grammar flow better. I saw one place where a comma was needed, but over all, this is well written. Good job one bringing out the emotions.

KowaiiMusume
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17
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Review by KowaiiMusume
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I found this very amusing and enjoyable. Your description of the main character was very informative, making me feel as though I know him, or someone like him. I'm sure many can relate to that. When I reached the end, I was sad, but still chuckled. What happened was inevitable.

As far as mistakes, I'm not the best to review, because my own stories need help. But I did see some places where there are missing commas that would help the sentences flow. In some places I would have placed a period and started a new sentence. But that is just me. Anyway, it was very enjoyable. Thank you for sharing it with us.

KowaiiMusume
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18
18
Review by KowaiiMusume
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Well written account of what happened. You have shown the personality of each main character, giving the reader a chance to decided for themselves who they want to root for. Also, the concern of the two mothers easily detected, as well as, the lack of concern of the third mother. You have also given points of interest when leaving a child alone. I found this piece very interesting and wishing there was more, so I could see what happened. Good job.

KowaiiMusume
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19
19
Review by KowaiiMusume
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Very amusing and delightful. It reminded me of a conversation that might have taken place between a Dungeon Master and an over enthusiastic new player. I giggled quite a bit, getting strange looks from the other occupants in the room.

I did notice there were some grammar and punctuation mistakes, as well as, missing words. Taking some time and going back over this will show you where, or have a friend help you with it. Sometimes, another set of eyes can make the difference in the flow of a sentence. Overall, the story itself kept me going to find out more, so even those mistakes didn't affect it much. I'm not the best at this myself, so you might want to get another opinion.

The main character has a child like quality that is almost sickening but at the same time endearing. The secondary main character was fairly predictable with his humor. I could tell he was just being a jerk at the expense of the first character, but drawing in the participation of the crowd added to the comic relief factor.

Its a good story and I would read more if and when you post it.

KowaiiMusume
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20
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Review by KowaiiMusume
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is a great summary for your book. At first, I was confused by the cover, but after reading the synopsis, I understand more of what it represents. Therefore, I urge everyone to read the content before disregarding the picture.

I do, however, have a few suggestions. Your wrote:

The United Earth Parliament (UEP) commissions Omega Research Corporation (ORC) to begin Project Majesty, an initiative to develop a supercomputer powerful enough to aid humanity’s ascent from the ravages of the Cataclysmic Age— Majesty was born.

I believe the use of the underlined words are unnecessary. They refer the reader back to what the UEP commissioned, not what Project Majesty is. Also, I think a semicolon would be better after Cataclysmic Age, ending the description of Majesty, and adding ‘thus’ before Majesty. I know, not the best description of my meaning but I think you understand what I’m getting at.

I see you use the hyphens quite a bit throughout this synopsis to separate definitions. I would caution the overuse of them in this way. Again, this is my opinion, and is not written in stone. There were a few other typos and such but a careful review will reveal them to you.

Overall, I would say, you have captured my attention with this. I don’t read much Science fiction but am not completely against taking a look when it catches my eye. So, you may hear from me again. *Smile*

KowaiiMusume
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Review of To Adam From Eve  
Review by KowaiiMusume
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
To be honest, I don't usually read much poetry, but the title caught my eye. I like the subtle emotion of the speaker. She lets the reader know her true feelings toward the situation, while still expressing her acceptance of a past love who isn't willing to let go. I detect a bit of smugness also toward the new wife.

I'm sorry I can't really help you with corrections, I'm not that good at poety, so I don't feel like I have the right to criticize someone else. I do, however, encourage you to keep writing. I liked this and think you are doing a great job of capturing the reader's interest.

KowaiiMusume
Proud Memeber of CSFS
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