Hello Hyperiongate
An enjoyable story. The Sheriff did accessed the situation pretty quickly. It helps to be aware of the people in your jusisdiction. Good communication with the deputy.
I did notice two places that maybe need some twicking.
Ed Powell from down the street said he though he saw you two talking earlier.”
>>in the second paragraph - "though" should probably be "thought."
He drove down to the end of the block before turning right and quickly parking along the side of the road.
>>>In the fourth paragraph, maybe a slight revision:
>>He drove down to the end of the block, turned right and quickly parked along the side of the road.
I enjoyed reading your article. It is a good example of the right kind of lessons to learn.
The lessons I learned from facing my nightmare are multifaceted: I learned that I love to write more than I hate to be criticized. I learned that it didn’t kill me. I learned that it inspired me to improve. By golly, it did make me stronger!
>>very good paragraph which states well the meaning of this article.
Those wonderful angels I once considered to be fearsome, help me develop that voice I want so much to train, that skill I want so much to perfect, and that craft I want so much to hone.
>>great words for reviewers here and for your desires
A helpful article for writers
Larry
(alias kansaspoet)
I love the reality of this poem. In this first three stanzas you relate how you have it all under control. So often, we try to present this attitude. But in the fourth stanza, with a turn that is gentle in words, but strong in meaning, you tell another aspect - the loneliness and the feelings of lifelessness. While this is stated of life, I think it can also apply to the pen a writer holds in his hand.
I really appreciate the transformation into the final stanza. The honesty.
This poem's message is pertinent and spoken to the heart of mankind. I like the line "bonded by Creations Light." You state a very real problem and then encourage men and women to stop wasting time on trivial pursuits that come from the heart of hatred. It is a poem calling for a uniting of mankind.
This is a very nicely written Decuain poem. I like the visual you give of the flower and of the seeding. Some fed the birds when seeds would fall like lace.
>a really nice line.
I especially enjoyed the final two lines of the poem. a million flowers in one's place.
>what great perception.
You have done well with the meter and created a lovely poem.
Hello njames51
I saw this poem in today's Spiritual Newsletter.
I enjoyed the messages of this poem - which to me was how anger blinds us to the good things in life. You have some really nice imagery in the poem. I like the wonderful metaphor of growth and blossomings. The third stanza is the eyes that don't see, the nose that doesn't smell the aroma, and the heart that cannot be part of the growth.
The last stanza could be a question, but I like that you have made it a statement instead.
Nicely done poem of anger
Larry
(alias kansaspoet)
This is a poem of wisdom - offered as a prayer. Aware of our daily battles and struggles, you ask for grace and protection. The opening line is a great entry for this prayer-poem. We do need a loving Father to help with our self-hatred and low self-images.
This is a cute children's poem. It appears to be written in a way that children could understand and is written with imagination. The ending is rather a surprise - which children would love. I could see reading this to my grandchildren.
The only suggestion I could make is "fancy" tricks the acrobats did. I don't have a suggestion, but it may be possible to come up with a word that is a little better - not sure fancy is a word that kids use often. Just my thought.
Brenpoet
A pretty poem.
I love the girl wanting her name noticed written in the sky and knowing a picture must be taken for Grandmother before it blows away. Things like this are always so important when we can share them with loved ones. I really like the final stanza in response.
Nicely done
Larry
(alias kansaspoet)
Hello Pat Nelson
What a beautiful poem.
It reminds me of the years I sat upon my porch swing and the things I saw and smelled. I don't have a porch swing now, but I love to go out to the lake, just to sit and listen and smell the freshness. It is a good place for me to hear the voice of the Lord. It is a place where my mind is still and quiet as yours is on your front porch.
It is a good place to set and meditate upon the Word.
Thanks for sharing this poem and showing us the blessings of this treasured place. Sometimes, we overlook the simpliest of things.
Hi Maria
I like the strength in this poem. Some may say it is a weakness, but it is a strength when we come to realize our purpose and have the boldness to state that purpose. It has been my prayer of late that I may write for one audience only. Then I will know I am on the correct path.
It is probably a small recommendation and not bearing much on the message, but I wonder if it would be okay with out putting 'my purpose' in italics. But maybe with the message of the footnote, there is a reason for this.
This is an endearing poem about friends that last forever. I like that you suggest they will tell you when you're right and wrong and they will do these things to keep you strong. I do believe that forever friends will be able to see the good changes in our lives. I reall like the last two lines of the poem.
You strength continues in writing rhyming poetry and you message is always clear. Good to read your poems again.
Hi Clair
I like the courage that this poem displays.
I like the concept of the icy drops washing your spirit clean.
The poem shows that storms - though they do damage - are not to be dreadfully feared.
There was one line that I wondered about - can the gusts and gales bring one to a place of serenity. I see it is assurance in a storm, but wonder if it could be labled as serene? That's just my perception though.
I like the use of imagery to bring this poem alive.
You poem shows well the imagination of a young boy. The poem also shows the boys closeness to his parents and the importance of both parents. It shows the mom as the watchful one and the dad as the one who helps him build his imagination through playfulness - as they "carve their names in the sand and fight the bad guys of the land."
This is a good poem for boys and for men, for sons and for fathers.
Kings
This is a great expression of the closeness between brothers. It is written from the heart and the words are genuinely felt.
Nicely written,
While the first verses show the relationship, the last two show what real closeness is all about.
Thanks for sharing your poem and your heart.
Larry
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