First Impression:
An appropriate story for the season. Marianne has her doubts of attending a New Year's party, believing it will be like all the others.
Suggestions:
Marianne is described as being shy and a loner. Has she always been like this or did something occur that now has her shying away from social activities? I would have liked if a little more information was given re. the beforementioned to give the reader a better understanding for her motivations.
What I Liked Best:
With the above being said, one of my favorite sentences was - I always feel like an island of misery in an ocean of happiness. Great description of her thoughts regarding herself.
Overall Impression: A great holiday story of new beginnings that just require a small leap of faith.
First Impression: A family secret is revealed after the death of two spinsters.
Creativity: The writer did a great job of creating a family landscape filled with different and colorful characters.
Grammar/Spelling: No errors found. The story had great flow and no awkward sentences.
Likes/Dislikes:
The things I liked:
The writer discussed and described many different character and not only did a great job at bringing them to life, but presented all the various details in such a clear and effortless manner that the reader wasn't confused and didn't have to go back and reread something (something which has happen with a lot of other stories)
My father would say that Pearl would have made someone a good wife, and we would all pause and consider the unfairness of life. I loved this sentence. Very often when speaking of the dead others just sit and think about the validity of what was said and pondering on it. The writer captured this well with the sentence.
Ruby and Pearl. Something must be telling in the names their parents chose for them. Did my great grandparents expect their daughters to shine like jewels? I was just reading on the significance of names given to characters and it's interesting that the writer brought this up in the story and gave a possible reason why they were named as jewel. Very insightful!
Somehow she got the idea that she could extract more of life's rewards from the pity of others than from their admiration. An astute observation by the writer of this character. The writer has truly connected with these characters.
The things I disliked:
There was only one thing and it was more of disappointment. The intro to the story suggested a discovery of a mystery after the death of the aunts. As certain things were revealed throughout the story, I couldn't wait to find out the reason why these women lived their lives together. The mystery was never resolved and I felt let down. I hope that the reason is simply that the story is not complete and if this is the case, the writer should make a note that it's a work in progress.
Overall Impression: Overall this is a well written and cultivated story. I hope it can be finished and satisfy the reader's curiosity.
First Impression: An informative article on a study carried out to differentiate between the early bird and the night owl.
Grammar/Spelling: No errors found.
Likes/Dislikes: The writer presented information from the study succinctly and in terms easily understood by the reader. While I appreciate the reference to the article where this was taken from, a link to the site would have been great for interested readers to read more on the study done.
Overall Impression: An interesting read. Now I know that I'm still productive being a night owl.
First Impression: A fan's reminiscent look at the life of a true legend.
Ideas/Thoughts: The writer took the reader back in time. Yes, MJ's life was filled with controversy, but this essay brought forth what his talent meant to so many. It's purpose is not to win over skeptics or haters, but simply to recall a young child's awe of something which was spectacular to see and hear. I remember the first time I saw him do the moon walk and I can still remember how I felt (thanks).
Grammar/Spelling: No errors found.
Likes: I think the photos were a great touch and are a symbol of how many will remember him.
Overall Impression: A great read for fan's of the best entertainer that ever lived. He will be missed. A great tribute.
First Impression: Just when Stuart thought things were over, he makes a surprising discovery.
Creativity: A great story, which was well written with an unexpected turn of events.
Grammar/Spelling: Non errors found.
Likes: Some of my favorites:
A world in cold, cruel transition with its beauty tucked away for better days. A great way to say that it's autumn turning to winter.
She stopped like someone who always had more to say but never did because she’d always been told not to. Another great line that gives the character more depth.
What was once a dance was now a two-sided hunt and no one was willing to make a gesture of retreat. This describes the unity which was and the friction which now exists between Stuart and Serena.
Overall Impression: A great story with a great ending.
First Impression: A man who is quickly losing a grip on reality and life, sees all his life's most important moments flash before his eyes.
Creativity: As Grady has difficulty distinguishing fantasy from reality, so does the reader.
Grammar/Spelling: No errors found.
Likes: The best part were the flashes. The writer created a clever way of allowing the client to understand events in Grady's life, which brought him to where he is at that moment.
Overall Impression: A great story. The ending was interesting in that despite Grady's "second" chance at life, he still desired what was killing him.
First Impression: A poem of finding one's purpose through giving glory to God.
Creativity: A very sweet poem with nice rhyme and rhythm.
Grammar/Spelling: our purpose, to fufill fulfill. I would suggest omitting the comma in this line.
help the world hunger end I think omitting "the" would help with the flow of this line.
When I pass to through His Heaven's gates
Likes: I really enjoyed the entire poem, but particularly when the writer mention that giving glory can be through small deeds or big ones, one just has to listen to what God wants.
Overall Impression: An enjoyable read on finding one's purpose in life.
First Impression: A teenage boy gets stuck doing something he hates for the summer, but what would be the alternative?
Creativity: Since this is for a contest, I gather that the writing in blue are perhaps the given prompts, which had to be worked into the story. Well, if that's the case, the writer did it flawlessly.
Grammar/Spelling: I found no errors.
Likes: As previously stated, I liked the ease with which the writer was able to make the prompts fit into the story. Neither seemed forced at all. In addition, although the story was only 286 words, the writer gave a good description of who the main character was. This reader easily imagined him as a boy that got into trouble with the law and was not one for exploration and summer camps.
Overall Impression: A well written story, which completed its goal.
First Impression: An article on a true life experience ... when medical treatment goes bad.
Ideas/Thoughts: This is a well written piece that gives a clear account of the experience.
Grammar/Spelling: No errors found.
Changes: While I do appreciate the writer's decision not to sue, I would have liked for the reasoning to be expanded. The writer briefly touched on the issue of medical malpractice, but perhaps it could have been discussed a little more in depth and thus illustrating some of the problems that exist because of what it has become in today's society and the effects on health care costs.
Overall Impression: A well written piece that could be improved with some added discussion.
First Impression: This piece piqued my interest when I read the introduction.
Interpretation: My interpretation of this poem is inner struggle withing this individual, which is fighting to release itself for resolution.
Grammar/Spelling: I saw no errors in these areas.
Likes: Reading this I got a tone of urgency to this poem, which seems very appropriate. This person is hearing voices and it would seem only natural that there would this overwhelming need/desire to get rid of it. I think this was nicely done.
Dislikes: The writer was able to convey as previously said a sense of urgency with this poem. However, true emotional content and an insightful or even distorted view of what the voices were saying or why were lacking. The reader is left feeling flat and walks away with one thing, someone is hearing voices.
Overall Impression: This poem has potential with the topic alone, all that's left is for it to be given dimension and layers of a true psychotic mind.
First Impression: As I was scanning your port for something to review I came across your editorial and was intrigued.
Creativity: Certainly a creative idea on providing the reader with information regarding WDC and who the writer is.
Grammar/Spelling: I saw no errors.
Likes: I love when the writer gives background information about themselves. It allows for more appreciation and increased insight into their work. I love the name Rasputin and have always been fascinated by Russian history, particularly during his time.
Overall Impression: A great introduction. Now I'm off to read a story
First Impression: A story of three lost souls. Who would be the one to save them all.
Creativity: The writer has come up with a most interesting story that examines three people, each one lost and stuck in their own realm.
Grammar/Spelling: It appears that grammar and punctuation are the unfortunate weakness of what has the potential to be a great story of love and acceptance.
A book, which has been of great help to this reader in better understanding grammar and punctuation is "The Elements of Style" by Strunk and White.
In the interim, the writer can search through the many helpful articles of, Davy Kraken, which covers a vast area of the English language.
Likes: David knew in his heart the woman he watched everyday was in pain some how he had visions of freeing her from her misery but how could he do that he was himself a prisoner.
This sentence is the perfect example to the depths of understanding that this writer has. A deeply profound understanding of David's own limitations.
Overall Impression: A story with great potential!!
First Impression: A poem about the worst kind of love triangle.
Creativity: It seems like this poem is based more on actual experience and thus I will address it as such. This is a short poem which gives the reader quite a lot of information about the situation at hand.
Grammar/Spelling: I saw no spelling or grammatical errors.
One suggestion: The her we once knew and the one you use to care for Perhaps italicizing "her" would give added effect and better flow for the reader. I stumbled here a bit, at first wondering if there was an error.
Likes/Suggestions: I liked the writer's ability to convey so much of what was going on and the thoughts thereof with so few words.
The writer senses that the boyfriend is being torn as he comes to recognize feelings for the writer. I am very much interested in how the writer feels about being caught in the middle as well as at the prospect of losing a best friend. Perhaps the exploration of these feeling would give the poem more emotional depth that the reader can identify with.
Overall Impression: This is the beginning of an interesting poem, with the conflict already identified. More personal introspection would only serve to add greater depth.
First Impression: An interesting take on the Phoenix of mythology.
Creativity: You presented this story very well and really were able to add a dimension to the myth of the Phoenix. Well crafted with profound statements and a story that shows the eternal struggle and questioning of this mythical animal.
Grammar/Spelling: This piece is well written with no errors to be found.
Likes: I appreciated the eternal question of why some live lives of happiness while others are destined for pain and suffering.
The last part of the story during which Ild questions why he saved the boy and not someone else - this was the most interesting part. It makes me wonder about our decisions and judgments and if the motivations behind them are always biased and if so, is it a bad thing.
Overall Impression: A well written tale that is quite thought provoking.
Creativity: One person's trash is another person's treasure. A story of how two lonely people found solace in each other.
Grammar/Spelling: None found.
Likes/Dislikes: My favorite part of this story was your ability to cleverly conceal exactly who Maizie was. I even went back to the beginning and reread and realized Maizie never really said anything. What was my first real hint was: The nicest thing about this gadget is you can get rid of those old-fashioned dummies.
Overall Impression: A tender-hearted story that was well told with a twist. The possibility of insanity is there, but I don't care
First Impression: I was looking through your port for something to review. I came across your folder of Stories of Faith and "Invalid Item" caught my attention. This is a story of someone who went to the deepest side of darkness, but would redemption ever be within reach?
Creativity: After reading "Interview with The Vampire" and watching "In True Blood" this is a most interesting and creative take on the vampire genre and one with the promise of hope.
Grammar/Spelling: I read this story very closely, there were no odd sentences or areas in which the flow was interrupted any errors.
Likes: I wept silently in the hall as I walked day after day, learning about crutches, about pain, about being heart-crippled. I loved this sentence, which really got to the core of his suffering.
You must give me permission first, my friend. I cannot take what is not freely given.” This sentence resonated with me. Put into the context of everyday life, when someone walks down the path which is not of God and laden with sin, they do it of their own free will. Perhaps there is temptation, but ultimately it is his/her own choice.
“That is the problem, young man. You do this for your wife, not for God.” Another great sentence that had me saying, So true!
Overall Impression: A great story which I give because of it's originality and very profound and hopeful message.
This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.
First Impression: A story of loss, love, and longing.
Creativity: What this writer has created is pure art, wrapped in the most basic and common of human emotions. An ethereal journey towards being.
Grammar/Spelling: Just a few minor errors found:
They didn’t start to worry until he began until to pantomime interaction with his invisible lab partner.
They watched him with respectful distaindisdain.
Likes/Dislikes:
Likes - He stood untouched amidst the chaos as She perished alone somewhere within the inferno; unseen, unheard and unsaved. I loved this sentence and the small touch of alliteration.
Confusion dissolved into the realization that he had done it again. Great choice of words, which resonated with the reader.
Tell me what to do. This sentence, as short as it is, captures all his fears, his longings. Anyone after such a loss would say these exact words (very honest).
He missed her so much that even an imagined whisper as light as a tissue brought him relief from his grief. Great description with the tissue. What is softer that the feel of tissue against one's skin?
Dislikes - Little cartoonish flame-people chased each other around his ankles. The choice of "cartoonish flame people" as a way to describe what I believe are small flames, perhaps is not the best description. Initially I did question it and as I read further I knew that b/c of the languid and deeply expressive manner in which this story is told, another way to describe the flames is warranted.
Overall Impression: Despite the small critiques offered, I think this one of the most beautiful stories I have ever read on WDC. You have certainly demonstrated your talent as a writer with this one Jim! I give you
First Impression: An examination of the following: Boys are made of snips and snails and puppy-dog tails. Girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice.
Creativity: A smart and funny article that looks at the expectations and HUGE misconceptions of the fairer sex.
Grammar/Spelling: None found.
Likes: I liked everything about it. The opening paragraph set the scene and tone. Its inviting nature grabbed the reader's attention. Referring to the powder room as the place women go to "powder" their noses, is a classic example of how men deny the fact that in terms of biology, women are very much like them. Of course excluding a woman's need for more toilet paper.
Do not be afraid to “let ‘er rip” once in a while. Just not in the elevator please. Great sentence that truly captures the writer's voice.
Overall Impression: A great article, which is a must read for all men out there.
First Impression: Something has happened, he can feel it, but before he allows us to see, to know, he takes us on a psychedelic journey through his life.
Creativity: The writer creates the most haunting scenes brought forth through the sick mind of the main character.
Grammar/Spelling: No errors found. Good job editing.
Likes: Two of my favorite sentences:
It’s sticky and sickening, congealed in lumps around my knuckles and streaks down my arms, like veins outside of my skin. This is a great example of what a descriptive sentence is, one that makes the reader coil and then say - ooh!
I’m good at putting things off, like going to the doctor and especially taking my medication. What at first seems like a very benign sentence - I mean who doesn't suffer from procrastination every now and then, the writer gives the reader some very key information about this character. The reader begins to question - just why does this person have to take medication and what kind of medication.
What is great about this story is that the mind starts to speed up trying to make sense of everything and the writer calmly continues to unveil a twisted mind - ooh!
Overall Impression: A great story, which is well written and maintains a slow pace, despite the readers quickened thoughts. The writer's ability to delve into the mind of a psychotic character and even better tells the story as such - Great Job!
First Impression: An observation by an American tourist in a small Mexican town.
Ideas/Opinions: The writer discusses a scene, which is filled with descriptions that bring it to life. Thoughts on perhaps the sense of "entitlement" are well argued and explained.
Grammar/Spelling: Well written and edited. No errors found.
Likes: The what if factor. The writer ponders on how young American teens would be affected (if at all) by truly living a day in the shoes of someone else. After having lived in America for most of my adult life, and being privileged enough to visits many other places, I think this scenario can be applied to teens from other countries as well.
Overall Impression: A well written article on an experience, which can be food for thought for many who read it.
Write On!!!!!
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The writer discussed and described many different character and not only did a great job at bringing them to life, but presented all the various details in such a clear and effortless manner that the reader wasn't confused and didn't have to go back and reread something (something which has happen with a lot of other stories)
