First Impression: A poem explaining why someone does not believe in God.
Creativity: The writer does a great job at expressing reasons why he/she does not need to believe in God.
Grammar/Spelling: Just one small typo found.
Usually I'm told there is somehthing wrong with me,
Likes: The honesty of this poem is to be commended. This topic is certainly one that might not be met with all smiles and heads nodding in agreement, but it is certainly the way many people feel. The most salient aspect of this poem is the writer's ability to communicate that just because someone might not believe in God, it is not an indication that the person is per se "bad".
Overall Impression: A very honest and thought provoking poem, which is well written and a good read.
First Impression: An informative article on Sleep Paralysis, for those who know and don't know.
Ideas/Opinions: This writer does a good job at presenting the topic. Personal experience, opinions, and references are all incorporated at providing the reader with information regarding this problem.
Grammar/Spelling: No errors found.
Likes: The multiple references provided as well as a list of possible symptoms.
Overall Impression: An interesting and information full article. Well written and presented.
First Impression: Ms. Bear saga continues as she awaits her lawyer to bail her out of jail.
Creativity: The writer continues to capture the reader with the quick and funny thoughts of Ms. Bear. Amid this, the real issue at hand is not forgotten (the death of her husband).
Grammar/Spelling: None found.
Likes/Dislikes:
"Go play with yourself", I snarled at him. He laughed, and as he was walking away I could have sworn I heard him say, "Maybe I will." Pervert I thought.
Another great example of the writer's ability to capture a thought in such a succinct manner.
Overall Impression: This is a funny story and smartly told. I am curious to see how the character development continues, especially in terms of the grief process. I hope this is encouragement for the writer to continue to add to this story.
First Impression: A woman is arrested as she visits here husband on his death bed.
Creativity: The story sort of captures you in the oddest way. The writer's honesty is rather unexpected, yet believable and quite humorous.
Grammar/Spelling: There are some spelling errors which can be cured by using spell check, but doesn't distract from the story itself.
Likes:
I didn't waste time in hollering at her or calling her names. I just punched her in the face.
This sentence is rather indicative of the main character. While the reader does wonder about how Ms. Bear feels about the death of her husband, there are some sentences to suggest she does have a heart.
Overall Impression: The writer has created a very colorful character and there is an ability to say a lot by using very little words.
First Impression: A reflection on the Resurrection and how it pertains to those we have lost.
Ideas/Opinions: The writer does a great job at expressing her thoughts on how she connects with lost loved ones. Clearly her faith in the Resurrection of Christ provides her with solace and hope.
Grammar/Spelling: No errors found.
Likes: For many this essay can offer a different perspective on how to deal with lost.
Overall Impression: A thoughtful and thought provoking essay, one that this reader can certainly relate to.
First Impression: Old family secrets are revealed through a painting.
Creativity/Plot: A well crafted story that is told in different creative ways: daydreams, family records, and through an old family friend. The progression of the story is a slow and inviting one. Nothings was rushed and the leisurely flow gripped the reader until the end.
Grammar/Spelling: Overall editing was good. I found just two typos, however, certainly not enough to distract from the story:
Julie dismissed the notion that her daydreamed tried to tell her something or that Gram reached out to her.
The search at the courthouse had been a waster of time.
Likes:
Julie back over on the bed, gazing at the painting again. So peaceful looking but yet disturbing, she thought. This sentence sets the tone for the entire story and subtly builds the suspense.
Overall Impression: This is a must read story. The writer does a great job at building the suspense and slowly revealing hidden family secrets no one could have seen coming. A thrilling story full of human emotion and love.
First Impression:
Antonia moves into a house with a past ... but what does this mean for her future?
Creativity:
This is the type of story that gives you goosebumps although nothing hasn't happened as yet.
Grammar/Spelling:
I found no spelling errors, although with regards the grammar the very last section of the story when Antonia is packing her things to leave you start writing all of the actions in the present. The story is still very gripping, however, it does throw the reader off a little. I suggest reviewing this section and changing the tense.
Likes: My favorite was - “You didn’t tell me that you lived there.” Hillary said, nervously. As the reader I was thinking ... oh my God, what happened there? I could feel Hillary's fear. It sort of sneaks up on you and totally not expected.
Overall Impression:
Overall a great story that I had I read when I was home alone at night, would probably have kept me up, listening to all those unexplained things that go bump in the night.
First Impression:
A night at the morgue becomes a life altering experience for Dr. Carmen Esposito.
Creativity: This story was paced well and nothing was as it initially seemed. As I was reading, I was expecting something spooky to happen. What actually did went beyond my imagination and took me by complete shock.
Grammar/Spelling:
None found!
Likes: Your writing is easy to read. No awkward sentences and very inviting. Your ability to grip the reader when least expected is a true gift.
Overall Impression:
A great story that built up to an unexpected and shocking crescendo ... genius!
First Impression:
What would someone do to join a fraternity ... anything?
Creativity: Through the pledge's thoughts you left the reader going back and forth from the macabre to the silly prank. Which one was it...I found myself reading fast to figure it out.
Grammar/Spelling:
No errors. Great job editing...again!
Likes/Dislikes:
My favorite part ... the ending. I forgot about the gun which was like an 'oh my God' moment.
Overall Impression:
An absolutely thrilling story. There was an ebb and flow to the tension and suspense, gripping the reader until the final outcome. Excellent job!!
First Impression:
A search for the Fountain of Youth reveals an unexpected complication.
Creativity:
The search for the Fountain of Youth was creative and was presented in a plausible manner.
Grammar/Spelling: I found no errors. Once again, great job at editing.
Likes: My favorite part was what happened when the fountain was found. While it appeared that that would have been the hardest part of the search, you completely flipped the switch and created a new tension within the story.
Overall Impression:
This was a great story and most enjoyable read. Your ability to capture the true human condition of love and selflessness is to be commended. The ending and ultimate solution was unexpected and very touching.
First Impression:
A hurt boy finds sanctuary with a family, but dangers soon follows for all.
Creativity: You did an excellent job setting the scene for this story. The isolation of being at the lake along with the fog helps to build the tension for the entire story.
Grammar/Spelling:
I saw no errors. Great job editing.
Likes:
As said before, I liked the tension. Everything centered around the mysterious and hurt young boy. The fact that he didn't say anything only added to the mystery.
Overall Impression:
I think this is a great story, which paired the helpful nature of people with the darker, evil side of them. The ending calls for something more, not so much what happens next, but why and who were the people searching for the young boy. I would love to read more.
This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.
First Impression: A book lover's dream can be found in the right bookstore.
Creativity: You're ability to brings the characters to life is one to be envied by any writer. The women and the bookstore became three-dimensional for me. I could have read on and on.
Grammar/Spelling: It appears that you take great care not only with coming up with a good story but with the presentation of it as I found no errors.
Likes:My mission, that I choose to accept, is to find the next best book in the world. This is just one example of some of the things you write that I think so clever. I use it again, but it seems very indicative of who you are as a writer.
Changes: None.
Overall Impression: Overall, this was an enjoyable read. Great job!
This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.
First Impression: An invisible son has the bravery to challenge the creature terrorizing his village.
Creativity: I loved how you started out. It really set the stage and created the feeling of a campfire story. Blankets Smores
Grammar/Spelling: Once again you did a great job editing. I found no errors
Likes: I liked how this young boy, virtually invisible to others because of his birth order had the fight and will to try and do something about the mysterious creature terrorizing his village.
In addition, you gave Alex complexity and humanity in this story. He was the youngest of three sons, which only added to his insignificance. Because of those things, he had to work harder to be noticed. He was determined to break the mold of the youngest son misfortune. Great job!
Changes: None.
Overall Impression: A great story, well written and great character development. Loved the ending.
This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.
First Impression: Employee messes up at work and gets fired.
Creativity: You adhered to the assigned prompt and nailed this story. Excellent set up of the plot. You paced the story well and maintained the suspense not giving anything away. Just as the reader is salavating for that last drop, you add a twist leaving the reader to figure at just what the typo was.
Grammar/Spelling: I saw no errors. Good job editing.
Likes/Dislikes: My favorite was the dialogue. As I was reading I actually could imagine this conversation going on!
Changes: None!
Overall Impression: Great story, I can say nothing more.
This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.
First Impression: Reading the intro I see this is an interesting take on the assigned prompt.
Creativity: A great job at creating the suspence in this story. I found myself getting a chill up my spine as well.
Grammar/Spelling: I caught a few errors which interrupted the flow of the story:
“Sara,” Annie sound irated, “this isn’t funny. Your mother just called and said she read your obituary, in the Pleasant Valley Journal.” I am a little confused by "sound irated" perhaps you meant "Annie sounded irate" or "Annie sounded irritated". Perhaps you can reword this so as to not confuse the reader.
“Well, it wasn’t me who died, Annie; I’m alive and living in Las Vegas.” Since Sara is saying this I don't think there is a need for a semicolon. Perhaps you can just make this a new sentencew all together.
It said Sara Mary Langley, 1990 graduate of... Perhaps a colon would work well after "It said" seeing that you have it in italics and also because there is the implication that the obit is being relayed to the reader word for word.
“Damn,” the picture accompanying the obit was a recent picture of me. I remember Charlie, a friend from high school, taking the picture at Boulder Station when he visited Las Vegas in January. I would suggest just putting Damn in italics with an exclamation mark (which could be read as what actually came into her thoughts as she was reading the obit) and start "the picture..." off as a new sentence.
“Who’s Charlie, ?” Greg said asked as he sat down at the breakfast counter still wearing his work uniform.
“You too, ?” he took a sip of coffee, “my My mother called me at work.
She said my photo accompanying the obituary. She told me the mortuary, scheduled funeral this Friday in a place called the Pleasant Valley cemetery at 9:00 AM. I think this sentence needs to be reworked for better flow and understanding for the reader.
“Yes,” my hand trembled so badly I had to set my coffee cup down, “and the funeral for me … my name sake is scheduled for Friday; same place and time.” I would rethink the use of the semiclon here as this is dialogue.
Likes/Dislikes:
Likes:
I liked your take on the prompt which from the very start gave the story an eerie feel to it.
I loved the added dimension to the story when George tells her that he had the same experience...how creepy is that? Great unexpected way to build the suspense.
Dislikes/Areas of concern:
You have Sara saying that she got chills when Annie told her about the obit, yet Sara waits a whole 4 hours before she actually reads it. I think this part lacks a realistic feel. I know if I were to get news like that I would jump on my laptop immediately waiting for the email, even if it took 4 hours for me to get it. You talk about how Sara feels, but I (as the reader) don't see it by her actions.
Greg, who I assume is Sara's boyfriend, kind of pops out of nowhere. I found myself going back rereading the first part of the story thinking I must of missed something. I suggest giving the reader some info on who Greg is.
I feel that once you revealed that Greg had the same thing happen to him, you started 'telling' and not 'showing'. There was such a swiftness to the ending that the real twist or punchline effect was lost. You have a 1,000 words to work with. You did a great job at creating this conflcit and building up the suspense. That should be maintained throughout the story.
Overall Impression: I think overall you have the makings of a great story. Perhaps going back and reworking some areas can give it a more polished, and in some places, a more authentic feel. I would love to read this again!
This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.
First Impression: A story about a discovery after a plane crash. Intriguing...I read on.
Creativity: Great use of the prompts. You make them an integral part of the story that does not feel forced.
Grammar/Spelling: Overall great job editing. Just one concern: He spoke in a gravelly voice into his wristwatch. This sentence interrupted the flow of the story, causing me to reread it a few times. Perhaps you can reword this sentence for better flow.
Likes/Dislikes: I enjoyed the story and I think you were able to say a lot with only 300 words.
Overall Impression: A well written story that might be the beginnings of a longer one.
This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.
First Impression: A helpful tool for people who may or may not have difficulty with flash fiction.
Grammar/Spelling: I saw no errors. This was well written and well presented. Great job editing.
Likes/Dislikes: I liked that you had an identifiable goal with this
article. It certainly saves time for many readers who may not be interested in this.
Taking the time to define flash fiction was very important for those who may never have heard of it.
Some suggestions: Perhaps you can add to your definition of the flash fiction that in essence it can be as much as 2000 words. Also, recently the Daily Flash Fiction has moved from its regular time of 12 noon to 12 midnight. Maybe you can give a link for the Daily Flash Fiction here for those who are unaware such a contest exists.
I liked that you listed your qualifications, with experience being the main one.
I will critique each point you made individually:
Point 1: You bring up a great point with grammar and using the comparison of errors in a novel to errors in a story of 300 words put it in perspective that many could understand and identify with.
Point 2: Great point. Too often many entrants (myself included) find themselves with 300 words but no real story, just a series of events lacking real substance.
Point 3: I agree, however, when the prompt is about a specific topic and not just a list of 3 words, then the writer should stay on point.
Point 4: I loved this. It can really get a writer to stretch his/her wings and perhaps come up with a story they might have never written.
Point 5: I think it is very true that a good twist (not necessarily something bad) just something unexpected can leave the reader feeling quite satisfied and the Twisted Racoon as well .
Point 6: Very true. Sometimes a good first line is all the inspiration a writer needs.
Point 7: A great way to add depth to a character with just a few words.
Point 8: I think this can go along with Point 4 and is another way for a writer to experiment with a genre that he/she has never written before. The brevity of the flash fiction allows for quick "get away" as well.
Point 9: This is so true. Its almost like when you see deleted scenes from a movie and realize there absence didn't affect the movie at all.
Point 10: This is a good point and perhaps can be noted for any other contest as well.
Point 11: Great way to tell more of the story with free (not counted) words.
Point 12: Great hint I never thought of but will use in the future.
Point 13: Very true. This is flash fiction and not the great American novel.
Overall Impression: This was a great article for those struggling with the flash fiction. You touched on many very important aspects that can be a big help for writers wanting to try this out. Excellent job!!
Wow! What a wealth of information in this article, for both newbies and more seasoned members of WDC. I appreciate how you touched on the different areas that can assist with and affect a review. I think the most essentail part of this article (for myself at least) was knowing the author. I concur with looking through someone's port to get a sense of who they are as a person and esp. as a writer. Also the other articles you listed act as an additional helpful tool to someone who may want to or still need more information in a certain area.
This was well written and well organized for the reader. I have added this to my favorites so that I can refer to it and the other articled listed whenever in need.
This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.
First Impression: Shawshank Redemption, anyone?
Creativity: Great! You created a world with this story that allowed me to enter into it. The flow was so immpecable that I couldn't stop reading. There was not one awkward sentence or word choice.
Grammar/Spelling: No errors seen.
Likes/Dislikes: I liked everything about this story. You brought the picture prompt to life and carefully weaved this mysterious man into someone I wanted to know more about and your pacing of every little detail was like small bites of a decadent dessert you don't want to finish. Your descriptions were flawless.
One sentence which I loved was:
I woke up lying in my bed in my cell. I felt like I'd fallen off a cliff and then the cliff had fallen on top of me. This sentence spoke volumes with few words, letting the reader know what transpired between Louie and Michael.
The ending was so not expected and Matoswawim had a new meaning.
Overall Impression: Can I say again how much I loved this story and your writing? Well, I loved this story and your writing. Thanks for a great read!
This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.
First Impression:
I get the idea that sharks are somehow involved. There is a back story here somewhere...I press on.
Grammar/Spelling:
Great job at editing. Only two small typos: “We're going to put you in an inner-tube,” Beth patiently explained to me.
“I don't have an inner-tube,” I patiently explained to Beth.
Clearly time and effort were put into achieving this this. Kudos!
Creativity:
I get the impression of (not only sharks) but of family. As I said before, I knew there was a back story. However, I wasn't worried about when it would be told. You created a well paced story, that kind of had a leisurely summer feel to it. The tone set carried through the entire story, something I think can sometimes be a little difficult.
The dialogue was was good. And I appreciated the family dynamics and interactions. I don't think it was forced, but came across as genuine.
Likes/Dislikes:
What I liked most was your writting. You write well and give life to the characters, scenes, and the emotions.
One dislike or perhaps better yet, one small dissapointment. Why did the grandkids call him Jurgens. I wished you had taken just a little time to explain this. Why he wouldn't allow his daughter to do the same, well to me was like a special thing going on between him and the grands. But, I would have liked to know why.
Overall Impression: Never let them know what you're afraid of...because they we make you overcome it. I think this was a well told sorry that gave a small glimpse into this family. I loved the ending and that he was able to get over his fear.
It always is, I kept thinking amid the hilarity, until some poor sap gets eaten. I loved this line.
This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.
First Impression: A bittersweet ending to love. Personal happiness chosen over vows that have lost meaning.
Creativity: There is nothing I didn't like about this poem.
Grammar/Spelling: Perfect everything.
Interpretation:
Being alone scares me,
but not enough reason to stay.
A mangled wasteland of marriage
is a sad facade; a love lost play. This stanza I think expresses someone's inner strength to do something which is scary. Very empowering.
Rain gently washes the window
at my holy safe writing nook.
Raindrops trickle sadness,
tears fall to erase promises we took. I just loved this stanza. It was beautifully said.
Forever I love and care. I search
to find Band-Aids for your heart.
Passion left a recliner womb,
custody with one lonely remote as we part. This individual is still considering the feelings of the other person.
We once dreamed together.
Wedding vows held sacred for life.
Now memories circle the drain
water drowns treasured vows of man and wife. This is the second time you have water or the reference of it. Something which I think is indicative of cleansing and purification. Clearly this person wants to have the hurt and pain washed away and start anew.
I ask little of you, I wait, balancing trays,
you consume books, claim we both can win.
I watched proudly as you receive a degree.
My turn now, your excuses make my head spin. This stanza is about the expected and perhaps agreed upon reciprocity of support which never happened.
Writing is my soul soaring,
a flight to a Universe of metaphors.
Sonnets of pain, similes of lust.
I begged; you would not lend an ear. This takes the lack of support to a deeper level. Maybe the financial support was not given, but in this stanza the emotional support was lacking as well.
It's done. Your clothes are packed.
Your heart and love long gone.
No need for words, empty spaces
might not leave painful open wounds. In essence what I hear is that at this point reasons given might be more painful than none at all.
Overall Impression: Great poem and good rhythm. Very compelling!!
This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.
First Impression: Young love torn apart and soon severed by death.
Creativity: You provide a lot of hope with this story. At first I questioned Bethany's mature dialogue with Steven when he's in the hospital, however considering her own experiences which required her to grow up quickly and be the caregiver to her younger sister, I can appreciate it.
Grammar/Spelling: A good job at editing. There are only two sentences I suggest revising:
Her parents had never showed up regularly for parent-teacher conferences. There really isn't a need for passive voice here}
You will be around some really hot girls. Maybe the use of "hot" can be chalked up to teenage talk, but considering Bethany I think maybe "pretty" would be more in line with her personality.
Likes/Dislikes: As I said earlier, I loved the hopefulness of this story and the ability to overcome tragedy and loss. This is a touching story. The pacing of the tale and the dialogue allowed the reader to empathize with Bethany.
I felt that once the story went into Bethany's life after Steven's death, instead of showing you started telling. The remainder of the story felt rushed, with all the information kind of thrown at the reader, almost allowing for very little time to reflect on Bethany's growth and accomplishments.
Overall Impression: This is a great story of hope and perserverance. I would suggest working on the section post Steven to maintain the motionality of the story.
This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.
First Impression: Having the story take place in the 1960's certainly set the tone. This immediately gave me an idea of what this woman could be going through.
Creativity: I think you set up the plot well. I appreciated the extensive descriptions of the various medical procedures. This choice was valid since the main character was a nurse and this was told in the first person POV.
Grammar/Spelling: In terms of the mechanics of the story I found some places that could be reworked or had some punctuation errors. A snow storm with howling winds and heavy snow blew in last night. Snow twice in the sentence sounds a little repetitive.
It reminds me there are for In the morning, I search to find a spot I could see through where the icy mixture glistened in the light; a small glimpse of how beautiful the world still is. This sentence might need to be reworked for better flow.
'I am dying inside but no one will know. I am used to covering up my true feelings. That is our family. I am an experienced actress. Mother says there is no reason to let anyone outside the family know our personal business. It is "bad form". My parents don't know this. It would change their feelings about me and I have dissapointed them enough with my life choice. Now if John wanted to marry me, I would be Cinderella in a glass carriage witha virginal organza gown and all the trimmings of an expensive "over the top" wedding.' I wonder if any of these quotation marks through this paragraph are needed. If you read further, you will find a few more instances where this was done.
At least. that is the feeling I get from him'The period is misplaced and another quotation that shouldn't be there.
'It is time to put on my Nurse Nightingale cap and caring for humanity face. Did she have a private life with heartaches like the rest of us?' Besides the quotations, my Nurse Nightingale cap, maybe this line can be reworded as: my Florence Nightingale nurse cap for better flow.
The best thing is mine is one of six rooms with its own toilet and sink. This sentence sounds a bit off.
human orifices (openings) I don't think there is a need to provide an actual definition within the text. I think with the medical procedures you did a great job at describing them within the text. You should trust the words you use. Perhaps there could be a reader who may not knwo the meaning, but that can easily be solved by using a dictionary. If you feel a word might be obscure then better use a more fimiliar synonym.
I do think that most of the punctuation errors are a result of the lack of spellcheck when posting the story. Once you reread you can adequately edit.
Likes: I appreciated the good look you gave the reader into this persons background. As said before, your descriptions of the medical procedures not only allowed the person to understand what was going on, but also aided in creating a visual picture as well. Further, your descriptions overall were good. This sentence I think says how well you can put things into words - He was very handsome with tousled cinnamon hair that looked like he had just climbed out of bed and dancing black eyes with long lashes.
Changes: I think the letters in the story, in order to give the reader a better impression of them, could be done in a different font or text size.
Overall Impression: I think this persons story was one worth telling and reading. The yearning she had was related well to the reader, allowing the reader to become emotionally invested in what was happening to her. The last part of the story which involves her life with Les and kids had a rushed feeling to it, as if you were trying to tell it all as fast as possible. Maybe you could rethink this part and how you can maintain the connection with the first part of the story. Thank you for the read. Good job!
This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.
First Impression: Who would have thought...insanity hiding behind insanity!
Creativity: Clever way to fake "insanity". I liked the use of colors as being the triggers for Stanley and the wigglers. I wish we knew a little more about them, but tha can be the drawback of the Daily Flash Fiction at times...word limit.
Grammar/Spelling: None seen. Good job editing.
Likes/Dislikes: I think this prompt was a good one and has elicited some really good story lines.
Overall Impression: Good story and use of the prompt. As always, it is a pleasure to read your stouff.
This review is meant in the spirit of encouragement and support. It is my humble opinion....nothing more.
First Impression: Teen angst!
Creativity: All through the story, the question remained...who was the chocolate meant for. You did a really good job at keeping it secret. However, I do think you were clever in placing small hints throughout the story. There were two instances where I thought the chocolate was for Delcine:
Delcine's fragrance put Mae at ease. Her heart rate accelerated as Delcine’s green eyes allured her towards confession. This sentence was well written.
Grammar/Spelling: I saw no errors. Good job at editing.
Likes/Dislikes: What I liked and appreciated most was the path you took with this story. I think whether a girl likes a boy or another girl, it is very difficult for to reveal one's feelings. In the case of a girl liking another girl (especially one who is already a friend) I have found that a lot of scenarios, such as the "admired" girl becoming very hateful or the "admirer" taking on the persona of a lover scorned (in a sense) and soon enough she becomes a little crazy and tormented, perhaps resorting to some kind of psychotic behavior. I loved that these two friends accepted where the other was at and were able to move beyond that sticky and uncomfortable place and hold on to the friendship which already existed.
Wow, that was a mouthful .
Overall Impression: Overall, a well written story with a positive resolution to something that can be very uncomfortable.
Write On!!!!!
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