I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" [ASR]. Thanks for entering and now, here's your review. Your story, "The Sea God's Pact" the story of a woman's desperate act to save her love from death by the hands of the sea god, is a story with a good premise but the writing just was not there, for me, to bring it to fruition.
Rhythm, flow, style: The story starts out choppy and this is because we are just thrown into the action without any introductions to the characters or their plight. It felt frantic for me. I thought it would've been better if you had given us more info to go on so we would feel something for this couple.
What I liked the most: I'm a softy for love stories, even ones that appear the most unlikely.
What I liked the least: As I read through your story, there were areas where there was overuse of commas in sentences. When a sentence goes on too long, and you find yourself using too many commas; this is when you need to take a "breath" with a period. It's better to divide up the sentence or rewrite it; it makes the writing clearer in the end.
- There was also the misuse of words that sound the same, such as here and hear. In the fourth paragraph, fifth sentence, you use the word "hear" instead of "here" in the sentence. A good way to ensure that doesn't happen is to read your work prior to submission one last time.
Remarks: You did include the photo prompt in your story at the end, in a modified form, and I think it worked as well as it could for this story.
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your writing today. Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" [ASR]. Thanks for entering and now, here's your review. In your story, "The Times They Are A-Changin' " we read about a decorated, military man of war vet who has to adapt to life outside of the service. This was a powerful story that delve into the realities of a country that trains men for war, not how to live on the outside.
Rhythm, flow, style: The movement of the story was strong and really drew me into the inner workings of this character's world.
What I liked the most: What I loved is despite the terrible blow that life outside of the service must have been for his pride, he still was able to find comfort knowing that his family loved him dearly. No, he wasn't some great man, as far as most people knew, but those who knew him understood that he was truly a great man for reasons other than social status.
What I liked the least: You know, I couldn't find any part of your work that needed improvement or correction. It was a pleasure to read and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Remarks: I thought you included the fireworks photo prompt well, and with emotion, into the storyline.
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your writing today. Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" [ASR]. Thanks for entering and now, here's your review. Your story, "A Flood of Memories" is a warmhearted story that celebrates the joys of a family's 4th of July ritual.
Rhythm, flow, style: The story started well, introduced the main ideas and continued on in a steady way with little deviations from the storyline. I thought that the interactions between the characters rang true; they read as believable to me.
What I liked the most: I loved the relationship shown between the main character, Sandy, and her Dad. It sounded very loving and the kids obviously had love for their grandfather, as well.
What I liked the least: As I read through the story, I found a few minor errors that stem from not going over the story prior to submission. For example, there was a line that began like this: "bout five minutes." The first letter of the sentence should be capitalized. There was also the sentence that began: "They zoomed off..." has a comma separating the sentence. I think a period would work there but you just need to go back through it to make any corrections. And remember, the good thing is, these were only minor corrections.
Remarks: I thought you worked the photo prompt into the storyline very well and made it a solid part of the story.
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your writing today. Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" [ASR]. Thanks for entering and now, here's your review. Your story, "Phoenix" is about a young woman who comes to terms with terrifying childhood memories during the annual fireworks celebration.
Rhythm, flow, style: The story began well enough but it went off course, for me, with all of the descriptions of the boyfriend, Colin's family. It didn't add much to the story for me and they weren't important to her coming to terms with her fears, from what I could see from the writing.
What I liked the most: How you showed that the fireworks celebration that many of us enjoy may symbolize times of war and pain for others. The message has a kind of theme that rings true for many celebrations. Christmas, Valentine's Day and many others are some of the saddest times for some and I think your story helps to relay this message to the reader.
What I liked the least: As I read through the story, it seemed that there were many sentences where you needed to take a "breath" instead of continuing it with a comma. For example, ninth paragraph, second sentence begins: "Colin's face bore his mother's..." should end after "eyes" with a period. Then, start the next sentence where "he" begins.
- There were some parts where you capitalized the word, such as: "You OK?" This word does not need capitalizing.
- Lastly, there was some uncomfortable sounding word usage in the story for me. For example, in the sixth paragraph, second sentence that starts: "Colin's Dad, Alec, chided..." I don't think that chide is used correctly here. When someone is chided, it's not in a joking manner, such is the atmosphere here.
Remarks: I thought that you used the photo prompt in a striking way that captured the emotion that the young girl felt during the fireworks display.
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your writing today. Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" [ASR]. Thanks for entering and now, here's your review. Your story, "A Fire Flower for Amy" is the story of woman who sought to understand the meaning behind her little sister's love of "fire flowers". I must say that you pulled at the heart strings in your story and I think that if it had been longer, you could have given the reader an even longer look at this lovely child.
Rhythm, flow, style: The flow was even and did not tend to veer off course. You give the reader a little glimpse Allie's interaction with her sister, Amy and this served to bring understanding to the relationship.
What I liked the most: I thought the premise of the story was strong and though it wasn't as long as I would've liked, I enjoyed the creative, tear jerking that took place as I read the words.
What I liked the least: As moving as the story was, I still have to identify areas for improvement. The story contained the types of errors that showed you did not do a final proofing before your submission. It's an important step and really shouldn't be avoided. I will identify a few for you, and then, as you go back through to edit, you can re-read your work out loud.
- First paragraph, fifth sentence starts with: "With her back resting against one of the pilings..." incomplete sentence.
Second paragraph, second sentence starts with: "The scent of molasses, nutmeg and..." Sentence needs to end with a period at the word box instead of a comma. Then start the next sentence at the word reminding} and change it to It reminded because you're starting a new sentence and this is all reflection, so reminded works better there.
- Last sentence, third paragraph, second to last word should be "one" instead of "on".
Remarks: You had a real creative take on the fireworks display and gave it an entirely different meaning to the reader. It felt so emotional and loving.
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your writing today. Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" [ASR]. Thanks for entering and now, here's your review. Your story, "Homage" is a masterfully written story that gives us a slice of a young vet's return to "normal" life in sunny Florida. Many of his comrades have either fallen or still overseas in the war, while the people here in the US seem to not understand just what is going on to keep the freedoms we so love and celebrate. This was just a YAHOO!!!! for me when I read through this story because I was floored by the writing, absolutely floored.
Rhythm, flow, style: Phew, did you use a deft hand in this story. I didn't even know the direction it was going to take and boy, was I pleasantly surprised to travel there with you. I loved how everyone played a solid part and just weren't there to fill the spaces.
What I liked the most: There was so much to LOVE about this story that my review will scarcely capture all the great parts of it. However, I will try my best to share without sharing too much. The main character, Murph, is a man of courage and honor; so many men seem lacking this today in a society that needs this so badly. I loved the introspective thoughts Murph has in the story; it really adds to help the reader understand this complex character. I loved when we reached the climax and how the story changed around to show Murph some things to help him not feel too alienated with others. I only can say that I hope that this story either gets adapted for more length to do more with the character or you make a series with Murph doing his thing in it because I just couldn't get enough of him!
What I liked the least: Nothing except the story had to end for me. I didn't find anything wrong, nothing and it was a pleasure for me to read a beautifully crafted story minus the errors. Just yummy!
Remarks: WOW!!!! You more than worked the photo prompt into this story but you gave the fireworks a certain significance at the powerful ending that really feel patriotic. This was just a pleasure to read and I really hope you continue to honor us with more of your writing.
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your writing today. Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" [ASR]. Thanks for entering and now, here's your review. Your story, "Independence Day" is the story of a woman who learns the truth of her husband's infidelity and makes the decision to be free from the life she once lived. It's powerful, moving and written in a way that will engage the reader to want more from this writer.
Rhythm, flow, style: There was an even, deliberate flow about the writing that drew me into the story. Of course, the first couple of lines that hinted at someone's death made it all the more interesting, but it felt sad once I realized that it really was about the figurative death of a marriage.
What I liked the most: Wow, what did I like the most about this story? ALL OF IT!!!! From the start, the writer drew us into this world of two people, who should be sharing a real wonderful night together but there are lies between them and it is ruining it all for them. Then, we learn of the wife's suspicions of her husband, Jon's infidelity and things heat up! Every word counted in this story and I just couldn't get enough. It was a guilty pleasure from start to finish.
What I liked the least: That the story couldn't been longer because it was so good. It would have been interesting to see the continuation or maybe a prelude to this point but I think we'll take what we can get right now.
Remarks: Your story incorporated the photo prompt not only into the story but you also included the photo prompt to your page for an added bonus. I thought it worked masterfully.
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your writing today. Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" [ASR]. Thanks for entering and now, here's your review. Your story, "Old Glory" is the story of a Marine who returns home to the States and his views of independence have changed due to the war.
Rhythm, flow, style: Your story had a gritty feel to it that was just fitting for this story. The transitions from the war memories for our hero to the present day times were seamless and moved along swiftly towards the story's end. It was is a joy to read and I am sure that others share the same sentiment as my own.
What I liked the most: I liked how you showed gratitude yet almost sadness that the Marine displays because he made it home when his friend was taken, all in the name of freedom. That was such a delicate balancing act, yet you handled it masterfully without stating anything obvious. The ending gave me chills when two generations of war veterans meet in at the fireworks display. Very powerful writing!
What I liked the least: As I read through this piece, I couldn't find anything that I didn't enjoy. It was so good and it was pleasurable to me just to read it.
Remarks: Your story incorporated the photo prompt with such a glorious, patriotic theme that I found really compelling. You really brought it with this story, Mara and it was a pleasure to read such great writing!
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your writing today. Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" [ASR]. Thanks for entering and now, here's your review. Your story, "The Perfect Date" is a sweet little tale of a young girl's special date with the boy of her dreams. It has a cutesy feel to it and the main idea is the dream date. I think that young readers will enjoy this one!
Rhythm, flow, style: The story is told in a youthful style that is appealing to the young. You kept to the storyline and did not veer off on some random track.
What I liked the most: The length of your story actually suits the theme and for the first time judging this round, I like your story's length! I think it fits well. There wasn't a whole lot to say about the date or the fireworks, so I thought it was a good fit this time for your story.
What I liked the least: There were some grammatical and word placement errors in this story. To your credit, there were not as many as I have seen lately but you will want to ensure that your writing is free of these types of errors for the next submission. I will show where some are so you can correct them.
In the first paragraph, 7th sentence the first line: "Admittedly so,..." reads awkwardly there to me. Maybe re-read it out loud for sentence sense.
Fifth paragraph, 2nd sentence that begins with: "I couldn't help but think...I can hear him rowing water." Then the next sentence should not be a sentence but connected by a comma because it is part of the same thought process. Otherwise, re-word the sentence for clarity.
Sixth paragraph, only sentence has the boy asking a question but you use "says" instead of "asks".
I could go on but the point is to read your work out loud before submission to make sure it "sounds right"; check for errors and then, read it out loud a final time. I'm sure you can make these corrections because they are minor in nature.
Remarks: Your story integrated the photo prompt into the very nicely and it had a feeling of realism to it that I found enjoyable.
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your writing today. Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" [ASR]. Thanks for entering and now, here's your review. Your story, "New Year Resolution" is a story had many more layers to it than I first expected. You have the desperate man; a child old beyond her years, and add some fireworks, we get a recipe for a good story!
Rhythm, flow, style: The story never veered off from the storyline. You kept the reader involved with the exchange between the two main characters the depth of the dialogue increased.
What I liked the most: The story had a quirky, old fashioned quality to it that I found endearing. I liked how you show that there can be more to a person that their outer appearance. We often forget to look deeper, as was shown by the parents who don't even thank Alex for bringing their daughter to them safe and sound.
- I also liked the exchange between the two characters. The child, Kenya, ended up acting as Alex, the reformed villain's conscience in the end.
What I liked the least: The only thing that I found wrong with your story is there were punctuation errors. I would ask that you read through it again, and make sure you check that the punctuation marks are placed correctly throughout it.
Remarks: What I noticed about your story is that the photo prompt was incorporated very well into the storyline. When a story revolves around the photo prompt, it makes the story feel believable and real.
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your writing today. Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" [ASR]. Thanks for entering and now, here's your review. Your story, "Melanie's Ordinary Life" is the story of a young girl's struggle with an eating disorder, and the path of destruction this disorder leaves in its wake.
Rhythm, flow, style: The writing read disjointed to me from the first paragraph to the end. I was not sure if you were reflecting the main characters state of mind but that should only show in her words, or her flashbacks but not in the general text. There needs to be a flow, a purpose to the story, and I did not see what the main idea was until the fourth paragraph when discerned that the girl had a food disorder. I think you might want to work on expressing the main points earlier in the story so the reader understands what the ideas are.
What I liked the most: I like that this story is alerting others to the horrors of food disorders. How it not only destroys the one it possesses but the lives of the ones who love them, and are helpless to its charms. I only wish that you would have stuck more to this theme, laid out what it was about early on for a much, more powerful tale.
What I liked the least: Grammatical errors tend to take away from a story's affect on the reader, and this story was no stranger to this issue. There was the misuse of commas throughout the writing, sentences where I wasn't sure who the speaker was and other grammatical errors. I will just suggest that you use spell check, also use grammar check and read the final draft out loud for "sentence sense" to ensure it reads as well as you think it does.
Remarks: The story very loosely tied the photo prompt into the story. I only wish that you could have found a better way to involve the prompt in your tale.
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your writing today. Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" [ASR]. Thanks for entering and now, here's your review. Your story, "Daddies Independence" Day is the story of a woman who stays with her Father to his dying day. While the premise of the story is promising, it fell flat for me from the first paragraph to the last. It is not that the idea is not there, but the delivery is lacking for me from a story with this level of potential.
Rhythm, flow, style: The story didn't drift from the idea that the main character, Amy would see her Dad to the very end, but what was lacking was emotion. It was just kind of blah, as if Amy were numb to the whole idea of being with her Dad. The other issue I had with the story was the lack of spacing between huge paragraphs. After the first top paragraph, if you go to the end of the sentence, just hit enter and it will give you a nice space to start the next lines of thought.
What I liked the most: What I did like about the story was the premise. The idea that a woman would give up the better part of her freedom to ensure that her Dad sees her signified to me what love is all about.
- The area I enjoyed from the story was the dialogue between Amy and John, her Dad. I felt sweet but it was too little of this type of exchange in this story for me. More time like this would have endeared me to the character and the issue presented within.
What I liked the least: What I did not like about the story was over usage of the word "and" to carry on sentences throughout the story. If you have to use more than one "and", it might be time for a "breath" between the thoughts in the form of a period.
- The story title is "Daddies..." which signifies the writer is speaking about all Dads, not just her Dad. This was a personal story about Amy's Dad and so the title needs to be changed to "Daddy's Independence Day" instead.
- There were other issues of using words correctly. "worriless" is not a word, but "worrisome" might be the word you were looking for in the fourth sentence, first paragraph.
I don't want to pick your story apart; I just am attempting to critique it for the contest, so I would suggest that you go back, read it aloud for errors, and make the suggested corrections given.
Remarks: Cancer is such a terrible illness and I think that this story was timely for including a character who was making the journey with someone they love.
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your writing today. Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
This review for your "Amulet of Hermes" cover image is being given on behalf of Reviewing Wars as part of Author Appreciation Day!
Impression: This image really gives a certain tone to the work it defines. I love the golden amulet but the older look to the font really sets it off for me.
Rhythm, flow, style: This cover speaks of class and definition. Though I have not read your work, as of yet, the design work you chose says alot about the writing. I'm truly impressed!
Remarks: Love the images and I cannot wait to delve further into your port. Best of wishes to you!
Your poem of dedication, "My Purpose" is being reviewed for the Rising Stars Shining Brighter contest for the month of March.
Impression: I thought that this was a strongly stated, purposeful declaration to the One who gives you purpose in your life. Without hesitation, you let others know where you stand, and who you serve. That kind of boldness is a rarity, and a breath of fresh air.
Rhythm, flow, style: The flow and rhythm of this verse was clear and concise, and though I am one for more emotion in my poetry, I still thought that the strength in the words. Very powerful!
Remarks: What a refreshing piece of writing, and boldly spoken! Your ode to the One you serve above is both powerful, beautiful and moving for those who can understand what drives your purpose. I hope you continue your writing pursuits and I do wish you all the best in the contest!
Your short story is being reviewed for the North Star Contest for your entry, "The Sound of Consequences".
Impression: Wow, there is alot of different issues going on in this story! You have Wendy, who has befriended a young deaf man who just can't seem to get his life together and she is oblivious to his feelings; he is resentful of her obvious blindness to what he shows her. Then you added a brother who returns from Guatemala with a mysterious box and a coin that can remove your greatest weakness, and you have all the makings for an exciting story.
Rhythm, flow, style: This was a well thought out story that has an unexpected ending, and sad turn of events for the main character. You didn't go the traditional route with your character's moral compass and it really made for an interesting turn of events.
Remarks: Your story really was suspenseful, thoughtful, and had some complex ideas that you could continue to build on if you ever chose to lengthen the story for even more detail of the strange man who attacked Wendy and her brother. I enjoyed reading this one and think you were really on to something with this story!
This review is from the Rising Stars Shining Bright contest for your poem, "The Journey of Muse and Man".
Impression: An insightful foray into the travails of finding who you are, from your childhood years all the way to adulthood, and the joy of finding comfort within your creative self. This was expressed so delightfully and with the knowledge that only comes from struggling to find ones own place on this type of level. I would say that your journey was a success, SW Poet!
Rhythm, flow, style: There were was a confidence within your words that showed the struggle and I found myself just flowing along, gliding on the strength of your writing.
Remarks: This was a joy to read because it shows the maturity of your writing; the growth you have because of this journey you've been on. I loved the way that you expressed your muse; the comfort that comes from being in sync with your thoughts and emotions in such a way that we all can enter into your world. I thoroughly enjoyed your writing and look forward to reading more of your work!
I know that this review is out of order but I saw that this one wasn't reviewed yet, so I started here but I won't end here, that's for sure. So, I delved into your book at "Chapter 6: Trouble on the Horizon" where you really put your heart and emotion into this struggle to protect your parents, especially your father and help him to retain some form of dignity in the nursing home. This is so powerful and moving that it made me really think about the impact of my own parents, in the future, at a nursing facility.
Impression: You touched on so many critical areas with this chapter. I empathized so completely with the situation that your parents were placed in and the lack of empathy shown by so many people in power around them. The feelings of helplessness reached across the pages and definitely touched my heart in so many ways.
Rhythm, flow, style: The movement of this chapter was so key and packed with so much information that really got my blood rolling in so many ways. Again, really tight succinct writing and so very moving on so many levels!
Remarks: What you had to endure with your parents in the nursing home situation is unconscionable and truly made me nervous for many reasons when I think about dealing with my own parents as they age. Incredible writing and again, it has been such an honor to be able to review writing from your port!
Hey, Judy! Here I am again with another review to celebrate "Judy Day" port blowout! For this review, I am picking the "In my heart, they live on!" that speaks about love and memories overshadowing the effects of death. It's funny how death tries to take away those we love the most but it cannot take away what we hold in our hearts.
Impression: I could feel the emotion of this one because I know someday I will have to face this juncture in my own life and it is amazing how you express your emotions in your writing to the reader. It's so funny how the things that we might have regarded not well becomes a fond memory of how they kept us in line and helped guide us in the right way.
Rhythm, flow, style: This was a warmhearted writing that fondly recalled your parents in your poem. I thought that it was a good tribute to them and captured that special part of your writing - your heart - and that is what makes it so wonderful to read.
Remarks: Your love and respect for your parents shines brightly in this work and it is so clear to see that live on in you! It's just been a pleasure reviewing your writing and I hope you are enjoying your day!
This is another view for you, Judy on your "Judy Day" review blowout! Now, this is a different turn because someone with a lifetime as full as the one you are living would have experience with the manipulative sort but as we will see, you learned not to spend too much time being manipulated in the least.
Impression: I thought it was very spirited, very upfront and definite thoughts on people who like to manipulate and on your being manipulated. I can't stand it when people want to invoke their will on another, no matter what the cost is to that person. I think it is great that you wrote something that said your piece on the issue and did it with such class and grace!
Rhythm, flow, style: This writing flowed well and I understood where it all was going, and how perturbed you were at people who chose to act like this to you.
Remarks: I wish I could have organized my thoughts like you have with manipulative people. I admire you for your courage and for your strength in writing!
I'm here again with another review for you on your special "Judy Day" review blowout! As I was foraging through your port, I came upon this reflective piece, "These Wrinkled Hands" which is a wonderful tribute to what your hands have seen and done for others over the years.
Impression: What I love about this piece is that instead of lamenting the changes to your hands, you celebrate what they have done and experienced, which is so phenomenal to me. From a baby who learned to explore the world around her to the college student pouring over homework for hours to get her degree. Then as the wife who worked tirelessly to care for her family with loving care, and finally to today when your hands are still working to help those around them. What a blessing your hands have been, Judy!
Rhythm, flow, style: Tastefully arranged with the wisdom that only can come with time and much learning of the world around you. This piece is a delight to the senses and just filled my world with joy just knowing you, and of your strength, Judy!
Remarks: Marvelous to the eyes and such an encouragement to anyone who might feel like wallowing in dismay that they are aging. You are an example of the saying, "aging with grace" and it is a beautiful thing to behold!
What an honor to get to send you these reviews on your special Judy Day! I just couldn't wait to dive into your port and harvest the writing gems inside. This first review is for your essay, "Toddler Issues" really is a help for me personally and a joy to read the words of wisdom from a mother who knows the frustration that can come from dealing with a toddler.
Impression: I love the straight forward and honest way that you express your views on the importance of establishing a strong relationship with your child BEFORE they reach the toddler stage. So many people are so frustrated because they just didn't take the time to really know their child before they reach this sometimes difficult stage of life.
Rhythm, flow, style: Written in a clear language that parents can relate with and with some great ideas and suggestions.
Remarks: Just a warm and inviting piece of writing that I thoroughly enjoyed and just is making me more excited to delve more into your port today.
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Impression: This is the story of a family torn apart by divorce and the child that is affected by the separation. There is so much tension that I felt throughout this story, I felt that the writer entered into this dark space where lives that once were one have become splintered and divided. You definitely hit on a nerve with then the young child tried to intervene between her parents, so thick was the animosity.
You also did a nice job of incorporating the Short Shots photo prompt for the story; it added a tender touch for the grandparent and child.
Rhythm, flow, style: This story flowed succinctly and I wanted to know what the outcome would be with these characters. You wrote it in such a way that draws the reader into the moment, the space in time and that is what made it so special to read.
Remarks: Very touching story that reminds us that how so many people are affected when two people divorce. The grandparents are often cut out, and have no say in if or when they will see their grandchild. You addressed this with a stark sense of honesty, which made for a really good story!
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your writing today. Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
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Impression: The touching love story of two young people separated by tradition and family rivalries, yet they continue to hold one another close in their hearts. Young Carlene knows that if she were to be with suitor, Mark, she would be taken out of the family will but that just isn't enough to keep her from her one true love.
You also built the Short Shots photo prompt into the storyline so well. It fit so perfectly and I just love this story!
Rhythm, flow, style: It flows so easily, and reads as from the pleading heart of a young girl who wants to be with her one true love. I thought you captured the emotion of this moment and made it your own.
Remarks: Very lovely story and I really enjoyed the additional storyline of Father Patrick, who denied himself his one true love and still finds himself regretting it to this day. Your story has layers, it has depth of understanding and feeling and it it also is just sweet story!
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your writing today. Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
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Impression: A sweet little love story about two artistic people who fall for each other but find their love tested when Claude has to move away for a job opportunity and Geneva is sure that he has forgotten her. We find out that this is not true and the story has a very happy ending. I thought you did a good job of blending the Short Shots photo prompt into your story. It fit well and added to your storyline.
Rhythm, flow, style: I thought that the way you told this story fit very well. The ideas flowed in a sequence and the course of events were laid out for the reader to follow. I even think that if you added more to this story with more background information and what she Geneva went through as she waited for Claude, it would be an even better story.
Remarks: What a delightful love story and what makes it so more the better is the happy ending! Poor Geneva never gave up on Claude, even though we know in real life she probably would have.
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your writing today. Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
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Impression: The story of two lovers who meet quite unexpectedly on an old bridge on night, fall in love with each other, and become separated much to the dismay of the man. He thinks that she has left him for someone else and in a surprise twist ending, they are reunited on the same bridge that they met on at the start of their relationship. I thought the ending was a good idea but the final execution of it was rushed and hurried. For your credit, you did a good job of incorporating the Short Shots photo prompt into your story!
Rhythm, flow, style: The style and flow was a bit jumbled with the ideas that you were introducing but it was still readable. I liked what you did with the story but I just thought it was a bit rushed. If you go back into it and think through the storyline more, I see an even better love story than before.
Contents: There were some grammatical and punctuation issues throughout the story. Just the wrong use of the semicolon and comma in places so I would just go back and do some editing. Also, reading the story out loud works wonders to ensure that the story has clarity and readability.
Remarks: All in all, I liked your story and think that it has potential. I am glad that the resolution was a good one at the end.
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your writing today. Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
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Rhythm, flow, style: The story starts out choppy and this is because we are just thrown into the action without any introductions to the characters or their plight. It felt frantic for me. I thought it would've been better if you had given us more info to go on so we would feel something for this couple.
Remarks: You did include the photo prompt in your story at the end, in a modified form, and I think it worked as well as it could for this story.
Impression: This image really gives a certain tone to the work it defines. I love the golden amulet but the older look to the font really sets it off for me. 
