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3,245 Public Reviews Given
3,284 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Template most of the time, covering setting/plot/characters/conflict/resolution if applicable. For shorter works, I concentrate more on feelings evoked.
I'm good at...
Short story, chapter reviews and in-depth reviews.
Favorite Genres
Sci-fi, Romance, mystery, children's
Least Favorite Genres
Historical
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, novel chapters
Least Favorite Item Types
essay, editorial, non-fiction, somebody's homework assignment
I will not review...
XGC, poems, prose. I am an animal activist and vegan, so cruelty or violent, unnecessary, death due to negligence is overwhelming. I am unable to review any pieces involving abuse of any kind to anyone. I like to keep my corner or the world happy, because I grew beyond my "challenges" of childhood and don't want to look back.
Public Reviews
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Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Dongeon. I found your story using the read and review option.


Overall Impression
Considering I don't read dwarf and elf stories, you're quite the writer! And for something written in 2003 with 22 reviews? Normally, I'd pass on. Dang, you held my attention all the way through.

Characters
Cachi was quite a character. Daring, capricious, and fun. But Tormal stole my heart. His resigned manner of following Cachi against his better judgment tickled my funny bone, wherever that is. *Laugh* And Cachi sure has a lot of demands. Excellent and engaging dialogue between the two. What else could Tormal do at this point? I figured the story would wrap up with flowers and kisses, but an elf entered the scene, taking me by surprise.

From there, the danger escalated and both dwarfs seemed doomed. The story took another turn, and a whole new scene began. Ick for the description of the snake people, but ingenious way to show their appearance.

The plot moves swiftly as the battle ensues. Vivid descriptions! I know I belonged on Cachi and Tormal's side, but I felt sorry for the snake/person, who transformed from an elf. I had my doubts as to her children, it could have been a trap. But the dwarfs helped, after wounding the mother. YAY for Cachi who showed compassion. That's what I was hoping for.

Cute ending wrapped up the story. Thanks for the unusual read. *Smile*

~Nixie

New identity for SPR

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
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#1300305 by Maryann


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Review by Nixie
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Click the image to join us and review your own meal!


Hi Paul
Nixie here to drop off a review for the activity above. I'm making an Australian - Bondi burger.

I can't believe I read this. My interest in vampires is -100. *Laugh* One reason I fell into this trap was my fault. I read the title, but not the brief description. The second reason I stayed revolved around your writing style. Though the plot dragged with passive verbs, it was still compelling to be inside a vamp's head.

Most are familiar with vampire lore, but you made this story personal through characterization. You effectively made me despise Sally. A strong vampire, beyond what Amanda expected. At first, she merely annoyed me. As the situation fell from bad to worse, I thought of her as stupid, refusing to move on,

I have to ask, why then did she turn.
Sally should not have turned; she'd only been bitten twice.


This sentence made no sense to me. How were the heads reunited? They were already dead. Sorry if I missed something.

The heads have already been reunited with their respective bodies.”

Good idea to write this as a list. The story progressed exactly as promised. A vampire taking account of his life. On television, I've seen vampires feed on animals. Yes, I confess to watching one series.

Favorite vivid description.
they often go into a frenzy – like sharks in the ocean

I'm not sure why I read the brutal descriptions.

It can be tricky to go back in a story, and I had to read the beginning a few times before it made sense.

The reader knows Sally is a vampire.
I struck at Sally, but Sally was not human.

The husband Jake doesn't know Amanda is a vampire? And then only Sally knows among her brothers?

Clever idea: police scanner.

Okay, before I drive both of us crazy, I'll stop thinking about this story (haha, unlikely) Thanks for the read.

~Nixie

pref


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Review of New moon  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Click the image to join us and review your own meal!


Hi Bikerider. Random review has dropped me here, once again.
Yes, it's Nixie, preparing an entree ~ Australian - Bondi burger


Great story! What an inspiring (a little play on words there) write showing how the settlers lived and worked together toward a common goal. Writtenword, such an unusual name for a planet. I wondered if only writers lived there. That wasn't true. And I wondered about other things, like how many were there, where they came from, how they got there...nothing of importance with the theme you dreamt.

The way the domes connected made me think of a gerbil maze I made for my kids. *Laugh* And so they had to be linked for movement and visitation. I wasn't sure of the relationship between Tisha and Gabe. Since they came from the same dome, they must be married, or some sort of couple.

The Domemaster (excellent descriptive name) stole the show, literally. For eleven years the settlers had seen nothing above except the domes. I guess it's sort of like living underground. I can't stop asking so many unrelated or specific questions. But I stopped because you were word-restricted by the contest. *Checkg*

The description of the cake held me there for a bit as I tried to picture it in my head, I didn't quite understand that part. The performances described made of think of a traveling minstrel show. Times ten.

I'll admit to more curiosity wondering what the settlers brought for gifts. And I remained curious as they were never revealed. Again, not specifically germane to the plot.

My only problem stemmed from the endless word [gift]. I know all this is past you now, but I don't write without a thesaurus bookmarked.

Considering what you had to work with, nicely done. I'm a little taken aback that this piece didn't win. However, that's not the purpose of entering a contest, for me. It's a way to practice writing. Winning is a bonus, not winning isn't disappointing.

Good grief I've babbled on. I never wanted to leave your story world. Can I be a settler? *Laugh*

Thanks for the pleasure of reading and reviewing your work.

~Nixie

Mod


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Review of THE LAST SWALLOW  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi Rich
Nixie here to drop off a review for the activity above. I'm preparing an entree, Australian - Bondi burger.

I liked the title, though full caps never look polished to me. Some writers prefer it. Double meaning up there. What if swallow meant a human swallowing something...but what could be not ours? The investigation began.

The plot wrapped me up, exactly like what you so poetically described in the story. all the scenes, so elegantly written created a movie in my mind. I've never seen a eucalyptus tree before. Thanks for painting the the sight. Now I can see how huge those trees were. Two men not enough to encircle? Wow.

Are we talking about mealie worms? I don't think so, which means I had no idea what mealies were. The description was picturesque.

I remember one time a squirrel not taking refuge soon enough before the hurricane hit. It was a small one, but the squirrel clued me in as to when the massive winds blew. He'd tucked his little body into the crook of a tree. As the howls began, he sheltered himself with his little curled up tail, and survived.

Excellent portrayal of someone watching an on-coming storm. Those clouds sounded bruised and nasty. Hail is an interesting phenomenon, unless you're caught in it. Forget being able to spare your car if you're driving. And most likely, kiss your roof goodbye. As described here, it is a fascinating sight as it blankets the ground.

Oh, the swallows, though. All I could do was hope they'd live, although it seemed unlikely.

One swallow lived, rescued by the narrator. Coaxed back to life, only for nature to swoop in and claim its dinner. I've seen that once before, and it's disturbing. I hope the prey dies when the claws bite in.

Life and death, all the same. I think about the life span of squirrels and swallows. How do they perceive the passing? Or are they totally unaware. Poison frogs have their defense. The moths that change color too, so they're not visible.

Nature is an amazing phenomenon. I'd prefer being a creature instead of a human. At least I won't be destroying the earth.

As I'm sure you noticed, your story entranced me. I spent some time here, absorbing all that happened. Great write!

~Nixie

pref


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Review by Nixie
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Click the image to join us and review your own meal!


Hi Ken.
Nixie here to drop off a review for the activity above. U'm cooking up an Australian - Bondi burger entree,

You may think I'm kidding, but you'd be wrong. *Laugh* This may be the last time I stop by your portfolio.. I landed here via random reviewing.

Why won't I return? Because every item I've ever reviewed is perfect, always a five. Can't you make one simple error? Maybe I did catch you this time, If I'm reading correctly, a word is missing.

He went to [the] rope, giving

Along with the others, this story was concise, using word economy. The sentences flowed one into the other foe an easy read. You created a character I identified with, thinking of him the same as any other child learning a new skill. Many of my favorite people are kids. They[re so honest and forthright. Mostly, they are successful at completing a task. This poor troll had a whole lot dangling in the breeze.

The story was complete, setting, characters conflict, resolution, all in place. Who knew campanology was the actual meaning of the verb. "The art or practice of bell-ringing." Incredible.

Everyone has to love your sense of dry humor. What an image you created showing the troll ringing the bell with its body. Did he live?

Never one to disappoint, you'd better make an apology to Mr.Hemingway. You'll have to crank up those creative gears if you want to ask someone dead to pardon you. *Laugh*

Witty write!

~Nixie







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Review of Against the Fence  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi Pony Tale
Nixie here to drop off a review for the activity above. I am preparing an entree Australian - Bondi burger.

In general, time makes no sense to me. If we're in the moment, it's already the past. With our next thought we're in the future. One breath. In your write, time made sense to me because you included all expressions of time. Beautiful.

Your unique choice of words added to the majesty or this work. You had me scrambling a few times to look up definitions. Outstanding. What a clever mind you have. Either you looked up those words, or you already knew them, we'll never know. Those words enriched the already breath-stealing story. Definitely a timeless piece. On a second read through, tears burned my eyes. Normally, I'd deny the roughly paraphrased 'remember the way it used to be'. My mind usually balks, claiming no such thing.

The words and the formation of sentences lent a lyrical sound to the story. Each and every sentence held my attention while I pondered. And then you slammed me with the conclusion. Usually, I'll comment about the hook, the title, first. The title evoked images in my mind, and the brief description hurt my heart. I wish this had been written in 2019 because I'd nominate for a Quill. It's not often I stumble across an accomplished work such as this.

I have an infinity for trees and also remember them. To my shame, as a child I remember peeling the bark off a willow tree because the pattern fascinated me. Then my dad told me I was damaging the tree, as if tearing off its skin. I wish not that memory had not returned.

That's not a summation or interpretation of this work at all. The tree created a metaphor of your life. My words are inadequate to describe the splendor and poignant read. The title hits home at the last. Wow!

~Nixie
pref


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Review of A Bear in a Storm  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Firewriter
Nixie here. Dropping off a review for the activity depicted below. I'm making an entree Australian - Bondi burger.

Click the image to join us and review your own meal!


There's a first time for everything, and this time it's a question for you. What motivated you to write this unusual and unique piece? I hope you reply because I'm genuinely curious.

I've only encountered bears a few times in the mountains. Luck would have it they had no interest in me.

So your bear lives and enjoys life in the snow. Does this have a double-meaning? I liked how you emphasized his uncommon way of life by showing how other bears reacted to him.

I appreciate reviewers who tell me they made an emotional connection or not. My main focus is on a character, but a parable tells a different story. So much time has passed since I've read a parable, I double-checked the meaning by googling. A parable tells a story with a message. In this case, your wise bear shows that it's okay to be an individual and reminds us to watch our lives in joy. To celebrate living. That's a lesson often forgotten in this crazy world. (I think the bear is 'talking'.)

Reading a short work like this challenges the reviewer to choose a rating. I think more details could be added with less repetition of the word [bear]. And I suggest using a paragraph between describing your bear and the other bears thoughts. Beginning here: 'some other bears'. And possibly again at 'but not this bear.' That's a loose comment. This is your work, and I don't know if that last suggestion would look right without seeing how the parable forms.

In the conclusion, who is speaking? Most likely the bear. However, since 'I've heard' is in the second line, I had to think twice about who made the wise observation. I decided the bear was communicating. Where is the storm?

*Star*
I spent quite a bit of time writing this review, and that means I liked the work enough to chat with the author. *Checkg*

Here's a link where other new members sometimes gather.

"Noticing Newbies" 

~Nixie

newbie


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Review by Nixie
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Click the image to join us and review your own meal!


Hi Rhychus.

Nixie here to drop off a review for the activity above. I'm preparing an entree Australian - Bondi burger

As a quick recap, the theme is people enjoying watching others' fail and fall? That gives me the shudders and creeps me out, but these are your words and your story-world. I'm along for the journey.

You've done an excellent job describing all sorts of unfortunate people, to the fine point of showing how they became that person. It half-sounded like a psychological exam, and the other half of me envisioned a zoo full of these people, as if they were captured and displayed. Even worse, I imagined labels on their cages, identifying them.

(The fourth line is the first stanza is chunky.)

The light illuminating the characters was harsh and unforgiving. At the conclusion, I felt sick to my stomach, not the least bit entertained. Such is the demonstration of satire. You nailed that genre, but ick. *Laugh*

~Nixie

reg


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Review of Sleeping Beaten  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Melisscious. We meet again.
Nixie here. Dropping off a review for the activity depicted below. I'm making an entree Australian - Bondi burger .

Click the image to join us and review your own meal!


The first chance to snag your reader is through the title and brief description. Both could be strengthened. In the brief description, give the reader a hint about the contents. You can add the contest challenge at the bottom of your entry. *Wink*

Next, if they're iffy on whether to read or skip over, the author has a second chance. Grab them in the first sentence or line.

My first impression was confusion. In the first sentence, it sounded as if you're personifying the truck. My name wasn't what they called me.

A few sentences later, I felt drawn to it.

Maybe I'm reading it wrong. In my mind, there are two separate entities. A truck and a person. If that's correct, maybe others will be confused, as well. The way it reads to me is [I] is the truck. Going deeper, if you want to keep the three lines at the top, you could switch this to third person. Eric felt drawn to it.

*Star*
Once past the confusion, your prose delighted me. The words were imaginative and none repetitive. As the story/prose darkened, fear edged up a notch with every line. The truck morphed into something menacing. The narrator's thoughts added to the intensity.

*Shock2*
Completely enjoying myself, I never saw the last two lines coming up. (Often I read from the bottom up.) That's not the point.

You blew my away with those two lines. They far exceeded the impact of every other verse. Of course, all were necessary to further the plot.

A good write for the picture prompt. If I'm the only one confused, pardon me. Keep writing! You have a gift.

Want to meet more new members?

"Noticing Newbies" 

~Nixie





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Bound  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi BowHuntress
Nixie here. Dropping off a review for the activity depicted below. I'm making an Australian - Bondi burger.

Click the image to join us and review your own meal!


As I read, errors pop up. When that happens, my reviews come out upside down. Usually, the suggestions appear later, after the accolades and positive input. But if I don't catch these errors now, I'll have a hard time finding them after finishing the story. One way to help the reader/reviewer would be to add paragraphing. So, we'll follow the story together. *Wink*

First comment: Turn passive sentences into active by avoiding passive verbs, any form of to be. In this case, the passive culprit is [was]. You'll need to root it out and rewrite the sentence. I prefer not to correct sentences with suggestions.

Moving on.
I won't copy/paste when corrections are extensive. That's why we're reading the story in tandem. In the beginning, 'no sounds could be heard anywhere' and then next
The wind whistled through the air like [a] scary, shrill scream.

In the next sentence 'heavy' should be 'heavily', but [ly] words, adverbs indicate a weak verb. What about panting?

Watch for repetition.

She wasn't sure but one thing was for sure,

[just] is considered a non-word. Delete it whenever it pops up.

She slowly took a deep breath, as someone began getting close behind her.
Using only your words
She drew in a shaky breath as someone closed in on her.

Come on out Makenna." The man said...

Quick punctuation fix.
Come on out Makenna," the man said...

that every child in the family inherited and learned [to do when they got old enough.]
Suggest the age is specified for clarity and word economy. [when they turned fourteen]

but she was different than mot
[most]

"What's wrong "mighty hunter", you can't find you're target?"

"What's wrong 'mighty hunter', you can't find you're [your] target?"

Full blooded werewolf's

Full-blooded werewolves

**********
I skipped over the majority of mistakes. Rewriting is required.

*Star* *Star*
The story line is compelling, so please don't abandon your work. As a gentle suggestion, perhaps polish this part up before you move on and write more? Reading and reviewing will demonstrate telling vs. showing, an author's most valuable tool. You'll learn how to write active, not passive sentences, and how to avoid adverbs by choosing stronger verbs.

I have complete confidence that you can edit this work. It won't be fun, but it's doable. *Wink*

You may want to check this out if you'd like to meet more new members.
"Noticing Newbies" 

~Nixie

Newbie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Love is crazy.  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Carrick. *Smile* Welcome to WdC. I found your story using the read and review option.

Overall Impression
Title: Crazy needs to be capitalized. Love and crazy Doesn't make sense. Do you want the title to be:

Love is Crazy

In the brief description, the word [fallen] should not be capitalized.

The beginning few sentences are wise. People do get broken hearts, but we shouldn't give up. In your words did I read the advice that waiting for something to happen means it never will? Especially when it comes to love.

After struggling to read your work, I wondered if English was not your first language. Bios filled out introduce the reviewer to the writer. Good job. *Checkg* From what I read in your bio, it seems my guess was most likely correct.

Think about this *Wink*
I'm happy you were able to transfer your feelings from your mind to your fingers and write. Sometimes the words get stuck, but this read like an outpouring of emotions, unfiltered and honest. Wonderful. *Bigsmile*

It seems you're learning to speak and write in English. Good for you! Mostly you're having trouble with verb tenses. Reading and reviewing will help you see how the language works.

Paragraphing creates an airy, open place for your words to be seen. All bunched up as they are right now, the reader is looking at a large block of text.

I think the overall theme is going back and forth with feelings for two boys. One moment you're in love with someone, the next, the other boy.

My suggestion is to take this out of a telling story and write an active accounting with dialogue. It's a skill you can learn as you continue to write. You'll learn to move from passive writing by noticing the many sentences written with the verb [was].


Including your friend in the story means you can add dialogue. For example:

Passive: your sentence
I even ask my friend to look and see if he was staring at me.

Active (I'm making up a name for your friend.)

"Rose," I asked. "Is Eric staring at me?"

Closing comments
I'm worried this review has too many unfamiliar words that don't make sense to you. If so, I apologize.

Here's a general outline of what we discussed.
Add paragraphing
Make the story active, tossing out the word [was]
Use dialogue. avoid narration.

The largest obstacle is that English is your second language. I'm learning to speak German, and I don't dare write one word for fear of messing up.

Through my years of reviewing, this is the second time I've read something written by a teenager. I remember what life felt like as a 14 year old. Definitely a rotation of boyfriends coming and going.

Good grief! This review looks overwhelming. *Pthb* My intention was to encourage, not discourage you. *Thumbsup*

I admire your bravery, sharing your thoughts with the community. You may be interested in meeting other new members. I've included the link below that will lead to the forum. Most importantly, continue writing!

"Noticing Newbies" 

~Nixie

New identity for SPR

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
287
287
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Click the image to join us and review your own meal!


Hi Sam!
Nixie here to drop off a review for the activity above. I'm preparing Australian - Bondi burger recipe.

Ah, nothing like satire to bring a smile to my face. Excellent and to-the-point title, and a quip for the brief description worked well as a hook. 'A brief guide' made me laugh because it demonstrated that nothing about being with family can be brief. We'd need a book for that. *Wink*

Back in the days when we all got together for Christmas, we had more joy than expressed in your witty satire. We all loved each other, and incredible as it sounds, we never had any awkward moments. Except for me. Christmas was at my house, at least 20 family members. Weeks and weeks of preparation, I pulled it all off. But every single time something happened before we all went to Mass, and I broke down crying. One year I was showing my sister-in-law how to iron her dress without crinkling the fabric. And then I did exactly that. Placed a too-hot iron on the dress and scorched it. My brother said it looked better that way. *Laugh*

I was sobbing behind locked doors. There's such a thing as putting on a merry face to one's own detriment. Thanks for adding those last few comments. It's the same with everything. No such words as always and never. We find joy where we can, living without expectations.

Now, Thanksgiving? with a rag-tag or with pathetically few guests? That's always been awkward. This year, we had only four. We celebrated the day before to take the expectations and pressure off. When my son-on-law washed his phone, we all laughed so hard, for different reasons, we all found happiness in the end.

Personal experiences aside~ Thanks to annoying TV shows, none of what's written here is unique. Has everything been done and said, already? That's depressing. What we celebrate is the writer's approach to the theme.

Clever introduction to showing off the characters without being tedious. I liked the 4 paragraph breakdown, each topic in bold. It seemed like reading a brochure. I can't disagree with one tactic here. Had I been a guest, not the hostess, I'd have used all four of those suggestions, leaning heavily on the alcohol. *Rolling*
I also liked the last sentence. Because those coping skills can be carried to any awkward gatherings. *Thumbsup*

By writing this piece, you allowed me to relive some past holidays. Nicely done.
Keep writing!

~Nixie

Image #2122576 over display limit. -?-





registered


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Review of Frustration  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi latentlove
Nixie here. Dropping off a review for the activity depicted below. I'm making French Bouillabaisse Appetizer.

Click the image to join us and review your own meal!


This counts as my first time to be struck dumb and still want to write a review. I honestly don't know how to respond to this. I read your bio, nice going, and I'm not afraid of dark. Rather, I'm drawn to it.

I'm objecting to the words [supposed to]. It's too close to [should] which is impossible. All that's real is what is. Nothing is supposed to be a certain way, and nothing should be a certain way. We have what we have.

And in this work you've accomplished your goal, anyhow. Even though the words are glued and one is desperate to separate and share them, free thinking works too. We all yearn for understanding. Poems can be oblique to the reader and make sense to the writer. That's not a reason to stay silent. And you haven't!

What sticks in my mind is the remark about poetry being beautiful, pain discreet. Both are valid emotions and there's no rules for how to express them. I do like the majesty behind those words, though. You're a true poet.

Now for the lecture. *Laugh* We can't help the way we feel. Feelings fall on us like rain. There's no controlling them, only waiting them out. That can take an enormous amount of time. I've been struggling with anger for a week now. Finally, I'm wearing myself out. Negativity is a heavy burden. Joy is light.

You'll find a way to conquer or dissolve those walls. If you use visualization, it works. See the walls for what they are. An illusion. No need to lie to yourself, even if it feels like the truth. You're not imprisoned. Except I know exactly what that means. We all have walls to protect ourselves, but the walls that jail us can be dissolved. Evaporated. Nonexistent. A lie. Write, write, write. Who cares how it comes out? Write for yourself, even if you don't understand. I'm lecturing myself here, as well. I'm gritting my teeth, fighting back every thought that's slipping through. I want to stop the words, but now they've started ...you can do the same.

~Nixie

You might want to check out

"Noticing Newbies" 


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Review of Purpose  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi George
Nixie here. Dropping off a review for the activity depicted below. I'm making French Bouillabaisse Appetizer

Click the image to join us and review your own meal!


My first reaction? Beautiful.

What a lovely poem. The overall mood is uplifting, like a melody. The words employed painted a story and revealed something wise. Most appreciate the turning of the leaves, but I, for one, never thought of them in such a poetic way. I'm not savvy to all the ploys used in poetry, but the rhythm gently moved me. I did recognize the alliteration in the second line.

I liked your usage of the words [legion] and [clan]. Unusual words make an interesting read.

*Heart*Favorite line

Binding sun and earth and water into fiber for your tree.

You've shown the natural progression of seasons and the connection of all things natural working in harmony. Except for what humans ruin.

One word titles either impact me or draw a mediocre reaction. I sometimes have trouble working out a title if one doesn't pop into my head. Purpose is certainly a reflection of literal content. However, it doesn't express the elegance of this piece.

The brief description tears me in half. Part of me thinks it dramatic, already enticing the reader, and the other part wants it to keep the secret, only revealing the final glory in the last sentence. You'll make a poet of me, yet. *Smile*

This adverb works, but it's awkward. [uncomplainingly].

At last the final purpose is revealed in such a poignant manner. Painting yourself into this canvas and hoping to serve as the leaves left me with a winsome feeling, thoughtful and calm. I read it 5 times simply for enjoyment. Nicely done.

Keep writing. The link below will direct you to other new members, if that sounds like something you'd like to do.

~Nixie

"Noticing Newbies" 


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Review of More Secrets  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi R_chel
Nixie here. Dropping off a review for the activity depicted below. I'm making French Bouillabaisse Appetizer.

Click the image to join us and review your own meal!


Thanks so much for spilling out your feelings. Not everyone is as brave as you. For 14 years old, I'd say you're wise. To know yourself inside and out is truly remarkable. My parents were weird, but they never said they didn't love me. They never said they did, either, but that was generational. It sounds like you're experiencing something outside of the norm with your parents. Whatever normal is. Not to diss your parents—it's best not to judge—I think your path has been more difficult due to their parenting style.

Parenting is terrifying—always afraid to make a mistake and mess up your kid. You're having the opposite situation. You've already learned to rise above, when you should be receiving support, not side-stepping your parents.

No one wants to show weakness or need, but one has to know when to ask for help from someone they trust. Do you have someone like that in your life? Do you have another place to go if need arises?

Mine was the house kids ran to when they needed help. Even though the parents didn't care, I had all those kids call their parents and let them know where they were. That was the deal if they wanted to stay.

I know one mom who threw her daughter out in the middle of the night, in the rain, in her pajamas. That mom kept a calendar counting down the days until her daughter would leave.

Another kid took refuge in my bathroom when her father came to pick her up. He dragged her out, threw her down on the couch, and sat on her! Parents can be weird. That doesn't make it okay.

*Right* Your work would be easier to read if you used paragraphs and a larger font. *Wink*

Once we're on the merry-go-round it never stops and one cannot get off. Such is life. You're doing the best you can. Keep writing!

I included one link below if you want to find other new members.

~Nixie

"Noticing Newbies" 


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Review of Wheel of Fortune  
for entry "January 13, 2020" 
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi p. boutilier . Nixie, here, reviewing your work for "I Write in 2020" 

I dearly hope you find someone other than I to review this. The red ribbon is telling, though. You've already had this reviewed by others who are savvy about this topic.

You expressed an awareness that your poem could draw disagreement. I think that's what you meant. 'Negative feedback' sounds like a reviewer critiquing your writing ability and means of expression. Feedback suggests help for improvement, or constructive comments.

AT any rate, I refuse to follow politics because no little people have control over what happens. And what the media portrays isn't always accurate. I read as much about
Soleimani as I could withstand. To some he's a hero, to other's a victim. Isn't that always the way? A knee-jerk reaction on my part goes against anything Trump acts upon. And it's the same principle. Some people practically worship him, others, like me, avoid his histrionics. I'm against any act of violence, especially when targeted from a distance.

Also, what if someone doctored that particular picture? I found another picture of him on WIKI praying without prayer beads.

Why did you include the sentence in the middle, regarding Pholarchos Tarot? I googled that as well and found the items up for sale. I'm sure you had a reason, and my knowledge is lacking since I'm unfamiliar with the topic.

I do understand why that picture prompted your 24 syllable write, though. It's the reference to the Pholarchos Tarot that doesn't seem to have a place here that caused me to take the half-star.



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Review of Guilty  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi flyfihsercatcher. Nixie here, reviewing your work for "I Write in 2020" 


*BareTree3*

The first thing that caught my attention, even before reading the brief description, was the presentation of this write. Line spaces, even paragraphs, and natural paragraphs created a pleasing visual. (Other than indents. In current fiction, indents are no longer used.) The sentences were succinct and precise, no words wasted.

The mood was subdued and grim.

Had I come across this piece any other way, it would have been skipped over. The brief description didn't appeal to me. It's an accurate statement, however, so readers know what to expect.

What surprised me was how different this story felt than what I anticipated. The use of specific names lent itself to an air of authenticity. The people seemed real in my mind.

And what of the narrator? How tragic to have kindness repaid with accusations and vindictiveness. The reader doesn't know why the people the 'witch' helped turned against her. What made her able to see past the crowd's physical bodies? Was that a clue as to why she might have been a witch? I think she's a gifted individual with an evolved mind and uses more than even her 6th sense to observe the world.

I liked how the story portrayed both the political system and the 'judicial', all in one narration. They played well against each other.

*Questionp* Why is [witchcraft] capitalized in the first sentence, but not in any others?

It puzzles me sometimes, why police officers are willing to put their lives on the line for so little recognition and so much danger. In contrast, I wonder what kind of person can carry out an execution. I agreed with how this character was defined. It makes sense that he's empty inside, but the next part almost negated the first. If he's empty, then why would he recognize himself as someone who could do what no others wanted to? That's a poorly phrased question on my part. And anything clearer is beyond my grasp in this moment. A matter of semantics, perhaps?

The 'witch's' last observation was most ironic. Of course she could have destroyed them all. I wonder why that never came to mind before?

Are you submitting this to a contest? If you find one that fits your story, enter it.
Here's one place to begin the hunt.

"Contest Central Station" 

Keep writing!

Love this image from Brooke! Personal signature

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Overwatch Guardian



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Review by Nixie
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Holly! Nixie here,
dropping off a review from
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature


Okay, this is a cute kid's story wrapped in a poem. Unique too! The rhymes are uncomplicated and easy for a child to understand. If there's any confusion, how much fun would it be to teach children about dinos? Priceless. Hey, I'm a grown-up and appreciated the humour.

Tech: I like how all the lines are balanced and even. It makes a clean presentation.
It's so silly, but I keep thinking dinosaur-er to make the match perfect. *Laugh*

Some authors center their poems so they not scrunched to the left. At least I think that's why they're centering them *Laugh* For what it's worth, I center mine, but only after seeing members writing poetry. (I'm no poet.) Some poets do not capitalize the first word of every line. Especially is it's a continuing sentence. As is my way, poet's discretion, of course. I didn't understand why 'eat' in the fifth line was capitalized.

For easier reading, I suggest breaking this up into some separate stanzas, if that appeals to you.

Extensive extension to include so many types for animals. Otherwise, the poem would probably be tedious.

I fell for the entire poem Ha-ha on the last line. *Smile* At least humans would not be considered food! I wonder what green stuff they offer for Vegans? Hopefully not leaves.

It stretches the imagination to draw a vision in they're head picturing any of these critters with the dexterity to cook, but it's a fun concept to entertain. It's something my grandsons like to do with their stretchy plastic lizards and frogs.

All in all, the poet delivers exactly what was expected. Nicely done.

~Nixie












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Review of Hold on Tight!  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Ice Cube. Nixie here,
dropping off a review from
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature


I'm happy my eyes skipped over the brief description. The puzzlement encouraged my mind to engage. A long time I sat here, wondering. The thought of my dad in a wheelchair came to me. It was awful. They parked everyone in a room with a tv, alarms set to screech if the person tried to stand up. To see my strong dad in such a horrible light crushed me. Not much later, he died.

Now, a positive spin to fill my mind. Of course I understand the personification, but it did my heart good to imagine wheel chairs having a personality. I hope my dad's was happy to ferry him about.

My favorite part was the one wondering if anyone one would take it for a thrill ride. And I still didn't make the connection. What a joy for it to fulfill a wish. Did it always think all kids were plastic dolls? That would make sense in light of the chair's limited perception.

Her eyes were giant, pale moons that shimmered with excitement.

I struggle with commas. A comma replaces the word 'and'. Adding and to the sentence: Her eyes were giant and pale moons that shimmered with excitement.'

My preference is without the comma, but it's a grey area. Author's discretion.

A lovely and vivid scene concluded the story with positivity. Thanks for the read. *Bigsmile*

~Nixie


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Review of Cryptic Case  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Click the image to join us and review your own meal!


Hi D. Dev.
Nixie here to drop off a review for the activity above. You are the last ingredient in my dessert. *Laugh* Click the image and that remark will make sense.

I'm as confused as Claire. Can you help me understand? Is this a time travel piece? I apologize for the copy/paste.*Down*

"I'm sorry. If you ever get the chance, please meet me in the same place. I'll explain then."

I think everyone is in some kind of school, where a student has been shot. Is Wheeler the one holding the gun? Are they on another planet?. Why does someone have glasses that could cut through glass?

The back and forth of (accidental) verb changes from present to past needs to be straightened out.

The reader needs more information before the story can be comprehended. According to the brief description, friends are trying to help another. I didn't capture any moment of a 'beloved' friend. Is there more to the story?

I guess the teacher (?) entered and put all the kids in separate rooms while waiting for the cops to show up. That part I understood. *Smile*

Apologies, but helping to edit your story would take too long. I feel sad for not sending props. I'm sure you have the idea in your head, it simply didn't translate to virtual paper.

We have lots of readers and reviewers here. I hope someone else can make sense of this. Please keep on writing. *Smile*

If you'd like, here's a link to click on where you can meet other new members of the community.



~Nixie


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Review of Juice  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Click the image to join us and review your own meal!


Hi Keaton foster.
Nixie here to drop off a review for the activity above. You're now an ingredient in my Spanish dessert, Tarte de Santiago. *Laugh*


What an odd title for this piece. But I wanted to know was what the author thinking when writing this. Alone? Unwanted?

Metaphoric sadness prevails. The poem is spontaneous and sometimes our best work spills from brain to fingers.

I understand the point, but how can anyone know what's inside another? No one. The viewpoint seems harsh. Yes, it may seem that mundane people are the norm.
Maybe that's true but I find it depressing. And a little insulting to be lumped in with the 'mundane normalcy'.

The poem acknowledges the possibility of not being understood, but we all feel the same. Sometimes like a waste of air.

It pleases me to think about people caring for each other. Not all of us are mundane and many can sympathize with you. Why would anyone be happy to see another crushed or shattered? Vindictive people, I suppose.

Punctuation would help the flood of words.

I'm sorry to say this, but I found the work a bit insulting and demeaning. If I didn't comprehend the full extant of your mastery of words, then maybe this piece is only for the author. Now you can say no one understands you.

A new take on the water glass cliche, still the words are compelling. That's why we write, to release words that don't always make sense, but lifts the author's spirit. Or validates the gloom. Am I making too big of a deal about this poem? Overreacting? That's the beauty of poetry. (or not?) It's open to interpretation, regardless of the author's intent.

If a see such a sad person in passing, I'll remember this poem and recognize them.

In the end, I'm wondering if my feelings are justified, or have I been too harsh? The thing is, we can't help our feelings, and they do not have to be justified. Which makes your feelings valid, as well. Not that you need my approval!

Anyhow, I can see a table in my old house that used to be sit in an alcove surrounded by windows. That was the image in my mind as I entered your weave of words.

Thanks for the read!

~Nixie


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Review of This is the UFO.  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Click the image to join us and review your own meal!


Hi Nobody learns. I hope your handle isn't the truth. *Pthb*
Nixie here to drop off a review for the activity above.


Haha is my first reaction. Subtle humour is entertaining, though I didn't plan on reading all the way through. Once I started, the hook was in me. So, humans are captives of aliens and expected to go fight...wars? Certainly dropped into unspecified locations.

The beginning, preferably the first line needs to be clear and crisp. The second statement in the second line is a run-on and super confusing. Of course the info item is for information. And what else would one do with information, other than learn? I guess they could ignore at their own peril.

Maybe the aliens consider humans stupid. I didn't get the sense (as expected) that signing up would not be mandatory. I wonder why anyone would volunteer. I get it, really. Everything is set up to make a person laugh, not scrutinize. The whole situation is bizarre. *Laugh*

How about adding some additional spacing for that large paragraph. Right now, all words are cramping the others. Maybe this is an indication that humans will be cramped when transport arrives. Hey, the reviewer can have fun, too.

Looking at the genres you chose, is educational correct? No big deal, it just caught my eye. Article and educational do not add up to humor. Unless that's your intent. You do explain it all at the end.

I've been looking for that subtle sign flashing with the auto weapons engaged. Where can I find it?

~Nixie
Spain dessert


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Review of Brick Walls  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi Fyn.
Nixie here to drop off a review for the activity above.


I for one am happy you wrote this. I found so many intuitive lines it's hard to pick only a few. The theme reminds me of something I heard once. 'You can't make your candle shine brighter by snuffing out someone else's.'

Of particular interest was the line about how giving a person praise or props who really doesn't deserve the attention pushes her out on an already creaky limb.

I know this isn't quite your theme, or message ...It brought to mind how one person puts another on a pedestal and sees them fall. But that's on the person who put that person up. People can't be framed in a picture as we see them.

I'm also reminded of saying 'just think. you only have to put up with that person for a little while. That person has to spend their whole life with their miserable selves. And one more. *Pthb* Girls who bloom early don't continue looking better as the years pass.

So none of my thoughts equal your elegance and anger-fueled phrases. Yes, people are that clueless. I know from looking at the genre this was a personal piece. I'm sorry someone angered you in this way. But we're writers, and we work through our stuff by crafting words. Spinning magic from nothing.

The ultimate point the last two lines created the heaviest blow of all. That person would not like people to ignore her when she crashed. And she will. But you'll still be standing. *Star*

~Nixie
spain/desert


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Review of Expression  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Nixie here. I found your story in my draft reviews.

*Vignette2*
From the top
I was taken aback by your unique plot. What an odd society, trying to heal the earth by limiting talking. It was so ridiculous, I could only shake my head. That's not to say the writing has a problem. The story is good, at times confusing,though.

*Vignette2*
Emotions evoked
I wasn't sure whose side to take, as both kids sounded equally disruptive. First, I had to adjust to the concept of the chip in the arm warning people they'd nearly reached their limit of talking time. What happens if someone exceeds it? Incredibility set in when the girl attacked the boy. Surely physical violence created more discord than words. And that girl was vicious.

*Vignette2*
suggestions/Thoughts
The unusual shift from dialogue to narration stopped the story completely. I wonder if those words could be sprinkled about, would make the transition easier? Perhaps some of those facts could be added in between the dialogue for a smoother read. The paragraph below the dialogue is an information dump.

I'm hoping more details are coming because as I reader, my mind is in a quandary. Why were two arguing in the first place? And how to words fall to the ground?

*Vignette2*
Wrapping it up
I liked the concept, but the execution not so much. It would be wonderful if you worked on editing this a bit and ironing out the wrinkles. Honestly, it takes a second or third pair of eyes to see what's really written. Authors have the concept in their mind, so sometimes errors pass the imaginary complete test.

Come join us here and have fun.

Damiana Matrix SPR

GROUP
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Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann


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Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Nixie here, back to reading the second chapter.

*Vignette2*
From the top
Once again, your talent shone through. How do you think of this stuff? I write similar stories, but lack the details needed for a clear read. You have no extra words, or blunders. Every word was gobbled up and retained. I'm happy you gave me the opportunity to review chapter two.

*Vignette2*
Emotions evoked
First I was fascinated by the descriptions and comings and goings of how the gate worked. The gadgets were as unique as this story. If you ever finished writing this book, I'd be the first one to buy it.

Time jumps can be messy, and although he was angry with Chicago Control. Gabe's not a guy who gives up. He reads the map and proceeds.

Jeff Clement took me totally by surprise. I expected more trials and tribulations as Gabe conquered challenges. What a shame Jeff's not interested. Excellent advice from Control helped Gabe gain the upper hand. But Jeff was't about to back down. Gabe snapped off those instructions like he'd been doing it forever. Wait. Time's not present when jumping gates.

At this point, I feared Gabe would be compromised. I wonder if Gabe would have used the needle gun. Does that knock people out and take away any memories of Gabe's presence? I wanted Jeff to go away. The chance meeting evoked another obstacle for our traveling agent. Gabe sounded like a nice guy, and I doubt he'd use the needle gun.

*Vignette2*
Hot spots
What? Gabe has to take Jeff on as a partner? He didn't have any other choice, and the sexual urges sealed the deal.

Fracking is an awful procedure and not well-thought out at all. Where's all that water supposed to come from? Oh, are they still on earth?


*Vignette2*
Wrapping it up
Another five star winner for me. Gabe is thrown off his feet with Jeff. Lucky Gabe. Are they sealed in? I'm sure there's a way to escape, but how will it play out? Seriously, try writing another chapter. *Wink*

Damiana Matrix SPR

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann


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