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158 Public Reviews Given
159 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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26
26
Review by Thinking-Reed
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is Thinking-Reed *Smile* and I have reviewed: The First Snow 2014. A description of what it feels like to experience the first snowfall. How the world is changed in an instant.

Specifics Line 1 Watching out of my window snow-covered
Line 5 snow-covered
Line 7 peaceful also I do not understand why the word 'quite' is used.
Line 8 'hear' for 'here' on both occasions.

Nicely put. I very much like the way you talk to the reader, inviting them into your world. Line 8 could be broken into two after 'limbs'.
Sometimes the scanning is irregular, but in free verse that is allowed. An enjoyable read,keep it up.
TR
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27
27
Review of Rain of Terror  
Review by Thinking-Reed
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
This is Thinking-Reed *Smile* and I have reviewed: Rain of Terror. Too much of a good thing can be the end. In the desert rain is normally regarded as a good thing, but times are not normal.


Specifics Line 4 'rove' is a verb, but here it is masquerading as a noun.

The effects of climate change are unpreditable and are possibly lethal. Or there are interpretations that are psvchological but also destructive and frightening. Beware!
TR


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28
28
Review by Thinking-Reed
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is Thinking-Reed *Smile* and I have reviewed: Everyday Canvas--Second Blog. Reflections on the way life turns out to be such a mix-up of good and bad. A couple of personal examples give a powerful impetus to this vignette.
Specifics: Last full paragraph: Suggest amend to; '..had to give in. She rejected a hired nurse and demanded that I care for her.'
It is certainly interesting to re-read books and those read as s child provide a lens to reflect on the memories and perceptions of childhood. Often partial and incomplete (have you ever returned to a place you knew as a child after along interval?) yet such memories are incredibly powerful and shape our lives.
We are driven by our past unless we clear away the cobwebs and distortions of our fallible memories. This excellent low-keyed yet forceful piece demonstrates that this can be achieved.
TR


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#1300305 by Maryann
29
29
Review by Thinking-Reed
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
This is Thinking-Reed *Smile* and I have reviewed: It Started With A Cat. There are several stories intertwined in this interesting piece of writing. Firstly: The simple story of finding a home for a kitten;secondly: How using the internet 10 years ago was so different and how strange the feelings were to meet someone in 'real' life one had met on the internet; third: The story of two people from this site making contact and meeting and how their relationship has changed over the years.


Specifics The punctuation needs some attention, for example the paragraph beginning 'Somewhere outside of St Mary's....'. Delete the first two commas. Next line amend after '...jeans; that, and the snow was starting to get bad'...'. to '...jeans. I also had to stop because the snow was getting bad....'

A very effective piece and should be of interest to all who use this site showing how fast things have changed in the past ten years or so. There is also a delightful little twist in the 'tale/tail' at the end! Thanks so much.
TR

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30
30
Review by Thinking-Reed
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is Thinking-Reed *Smile* and I have reviewed: An Unconventional Take on Music. What is 'music' and does it differ from 'noise'?


Specifics Line 2 from end Insert 'it' after 'get to listen to'

Thought-provoking and interesting questions clearly put in this short piece of text. One can go further, does there have to be a listener at all? The sound of the wind blowing through the telegraph wires can be very tuneful even if there is no one to hear it. You take the post-modern viewpoint that music is culturally defined and there are as many types of music as there are listeners. Thanks
TR


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31
31
Review by Thinking-Reed
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is Thinking-Reed *Smile* and I have reviewed: Autumn in Las Vegas. A short (6 line) acrostic poem written for a competition.


Specifics Line 4 'about' seems not to fit in; 'at' or 'because of' might be better.
Line 6 Season is singular I feel. 'Now that the season has begun to change.'

A fun poem playing with the word Autumn, interesting as most Americans would say 'Fall' Thanks for this.
TR

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32
32
Review by Thinking-Reed
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is Thinking-Reed *Smile* and I have reviewed: Invasion of the Alien Squirrels.
This is well written as if a journalistic report on the sudden appearance of a plague of
squirrels . These are no ordinary squirrels as they are highly intelligent and escape artists. Also dangerous insofar as they can carry rabies and attack humans these animals present a major problem. There is also speculation that they are of alien source. A most believable piece of writing. Thanks for sharing.
TR


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33
33
Review of Together Forever  
Review by Thinking-Reed
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is Thinking-Reed *Smile* and I have reviewed Together Forever. A poem about separation as a result of war, or perhaps something more final.
A beautiful haunting poem from the perspective of a soldier who has been sent away to war. Will his beloved think of him and remember the times they spent together? But then the thought arose that the separation was something more than it appeared.
The poetry is well balanced and generally has a good rhythm. An enjoyable read. Thank you.
TR

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34
34
Review of Quark  
Review by Thinking-Reed
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is Thinking-Reed *Smile* and I have reviewed Quark. An entrepreneur and wheeler dealer Quark's personality is summarized in this poem.

A poem which brings to mind memories of one of the more dubious characters in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Never one to miss a business opportunity, but also he was someone who was 'used' by the system. Thanks for rekindling he memories.
TR


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35
35
Review of VALUES  
Review by Thinking-Reed
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is Thinking-Reed *Smile* and I have reviewed Values. A thought-provoking essay on life's values
.

Specifics Line 23 '..........almost stops every............'

It is important to retain balance and to remain self-aware whatever situation one is in. People around one all have their own lives and deserve respect. Well written and balanced by someone who has seen success and not been taken over by the 'system'. Thanks for sharing these wise words.


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36
36
Review of Constant endeavor  
Review by Thinking-Reed
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.0)
This is Thinking-Reed *Smile* and I have reviewed Constant endeavour. Some comments on the spiritual life.


Specifics: Lines 2/3 '..which continues every moment during both sleep and waking from birth to death. As part of the thinking mind the actity of one's nature becomes caught in the Stream of Self and eternally remains floating in it.
Line 4 'Ever keep the mind poised in the Self, wide-awake in the Current of Reality, where the....'
Line 5 '...His infinity. This must..'

I have tried to clarify this text with minimum change. I hope it means what I think it does!
TR


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37
37
Review by Thinking-Reed
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is Thinking-Reed *Smile* and I have reviewed Deux-Mille Mémoires. A description of rural life among an extended family of French Canadian origin in central New Hampshire the 1950s. How memories can be riggered by photographs!


Specifics Line 21 Whether by choice or if bad weather
Line 10 from bottom '..albums rather than on digital...'

A very well written appreciation of life back in the 1950s, the nostalgia is evoked well, but there is also action. The description of the dog becoming mixed up with the eel and the fishing line is excellent. The sadnesses and losses relating to the family tensions surrounding a child conceived out of wedlock are likely to be less nowadays. Perhaps the only way in which life nowadays could be said to have improved.

Thank you so much for sharing treasured memories which are described so beautifully.
TR



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38
38
Review of Sisterhood  
Review by Thinking-Reed
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is Thinking-Reed *Smile* and I have reviewed Sisterhood. A Journal of the beginning of life as a student at College. Intensely lonely to start with, but when she asked for help and companionship it was given.


Specifics Line 2 'ride. How' 'so. That' And subsequently, always Capital letter after .
line 21 'to help me break down the wall'
Line 3 from end life-altering
Expressed so clearly is the dilemma millions of students have every year and the feelings that go with it. Well written though the punctuation needs attention. Thank you, I enjoyed reading it. My heart was in my mouth towards the end. Would she ask?


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39
39
Review by Thinking-Reed
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is Thinking-Reed *Smile* and I have reviewed Heaven's Garden. I know the happy feeling of a poem arising spontaneously while out walking.


Specifics suggested: line 3 Untarnished by human hand.
In the mist
Leaves of autumn along the ride
Signs of hope provide .

I feel you have the basis of a good poem here which needs to be worked at and structured carefully. As an example I have revised lines 3 to 6. I suggest you work at the rest of the poem. I would be very happy to look at the revised version as this is promising.


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#1300305 by Maryann


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40
40
Review by Thinking-Reed
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is Thinking-Reed *Smile* and I have reviewed: U.S. Sending Tanks To Baltic States. A report of troop movements by the United States with comment and opinion added at the end.


Specifics Line 9 should read: '..(Poland's Prime..)
This is a clearly written piece about the current European situation which gives quite a lot of detailed information mixed with surmise and speculation. Particularly interesting is the addition of comments and opinion at the end. It is not simply a news report,it is more a piece of propaganda masquerading as a news report. The implication is that Poland and NATO are being aggressive towards Russia as a result of the actions described-a point of view that president Putin would agree with.

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41
41
Review by Thinking-Reed
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is Thinking-Reed *Smile* and I have reviewed Philosophy and Landscapes (So far). A description of a single mother's struggle to bring up her child and how that close relationship is affected by dignoses of Cancer.


Specifics Line 4 madE
Line 11 '..fell into an abyss somewhere to betray the thought of a response.' Suggest: '.. into an abyss which had been created between us resulting in the absence of a response.'

To have Cancer once is bad enough, to have had it many times and to recover only to find that your mother has a diagnosis of Pancreatic Cancer is heartbreaking. The description of Alexander coming back home to find his mother struggling with her emotions after receiving the diagnosis is as powerful a piece of writing as I have seen for a long time.
Even while she was feeling low and depressed, Alexander's mother was able to use the situation to impress on him that even in adversity there can be hope. With her strong love for him she was able to give him the power to be constructive and to go and do the math homework. A truly remarkable mom. Thanks for telling this intensely emotional and powerful story.
TR
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42
42
Review of Blueprint.  
Review by Thinking-Reed
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is Thinking-Reed *Smile* and I have reviewed Blueprint. A description of the events that take place after Jake has committed suicide. Nothing is clear cut and he has to figure out for himself what is going on. He is helped in this task by Dr Tim who is young and brilliant and seems to have the answers.


Specifics: Clearly written but occasional words jar with me. For example in line 2 the use of jolted: 'I jolted back', for me better is '..I pulled back..'. Of course subsequently on the same line '....as far as one could pull back...'
Lines 7:8 Can delete '..And I don't know how good your bedside manner is,but...'
Line 15 '..stood out to me..' ?better '..occurred to me..'
Line 36/37 Suggest change to: '..no choice but to slowly head after him. However, growing more confident I catch...'
Line 40 either '..was there feeling the sun beating..' or'..was there. I feel the ...' and subsequently same line '..month I'd been...'
Line 31 from bottom Washington-related
Line 22 from bottom 'lying' for 'laying'
Line 21 from bottom '..I've gone up into space, and to Disneyland...'

There are many good things that I like about this imaginative piece of writing. There are nice details, for example:
I like '...Have you ever eaten pizza for a week and by the end of it you realize you would do anything for a salad?...'
And the denouement? Well YOU figure it out! The universal human problem of whether we have free will or not. Beautifully posed.
TR
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43
43
Review by Thinking-Reed
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is Thinking-Reed *Smile* and I have reviewed the colour of a rain cloud. Minutely observed and beautifully written with a very economical use of words. It creates a feeling of sadness and vulnerability...at least for me.


Specifics: the date, though precise, has no year. (Since it was written in 2014 I assume it is recent.

But no matter as it is n a sense timeless. A word-picture of a couple , or rather a man, for the lady (WAS she his wife?) is not described herself but rather through her actions. She repeatedly touches his shoulder. Why? Perhaps for reassurance, fearful she has lost him. Perhaps an expression of her love for him, a love that cannot be expressed in words.
Or is there just nothing to say? So he retreats back into his 'work'. Was he really a surgeon? Probably not as few surgeons have beards in my experience.
Perhaps a latter-day Professor Challenger imagining that he was dissecting dinosaur eggs from a modern version of The Lost World. I think not!! The real Professor Challenger would never have bothered to dye his hair and there is no record of him breakfasting in the company of a female.
An enjoyable piece of writing, thank you.
TR


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44
44
Review by Thinking-Reed
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is Thinking-Reed *Smile* and I have reviewed The O'Leary Decision. A full-blooded Western in 1998 words. Thee build-up is slow but consistent and I was hearing the musical theme of 'High Noon' so good was the description of the 'Wild West', there were even the Good the Bad and the Ugly!


Specifics: Line 1 Nevadas is plural I think not possessive so no' needed. (The spell check here gives the ' but look up Google and it's Sierra Nevada/Sierra Nevadas.)Avoid the problem by using : Sierra Nevada.

I found the break between Zeb going to sleep at night and waking up in the morning unclear. It could be indicated in some way, perhaps by triple spacing, or by a spacer, eg: xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Some excellent and evocative descriptions: ..The acrid bite of the smoke announced the town before he saw it...

..........a bear-of-a-man coming out of a barn. The sun-browned face was softened by a smile.....

An enjoyable read, there is almost enough for a film. For a film there needs to be a real baddie......say he has run off with Maggie's gold she inherited. Make the hotel clerk female who makes a pass at Zeb and add a game or two of Poker. The question is why did Maggie O'Leary set the mock killing up? Was she still in love with the Sheriff? I think so!!
but my imagination is running away with me...........
TR

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45
45
Review by Thinking-Reed
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is Thinking-Reed *Smile* and I have reviewed We are those without Souls. An imaginative story describing the attraction of the unknown land, but a land which is also dangerous in a very insidious fashion;
Specifics: There are many spelling and grammatical errors. Seemingly due to writing in a foreign language. I will send you a detailed revision separately.

I do not wish the problems to overshadow the sheer quality of this imaginative and beautiful story which reminds us of the epics like Homer. The introductory poem is very beautiful and very rhythmical.
Well done, we can correct the English without any problem.
Thanks
TR


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46
46
Review of Brownie  
Review by Thinking-Reed
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is Thinking-Reed *Smile* and I have reviewed Brownie. A good description of the animals living at the author's Grannie when he was young. A story about the dog called Brownie was especially memorable.


Specifics: Line14 Whenever

Last but 1 line change 'But..' to 'However'

This is the story of a brave dog and is well told. Thank you.
TR


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47
47
Review by Thinking-Reed
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is Thinking-Reed *Smile* and I have reviewed Flash Fiction contest piece6/16. Describing one's deepest fears in a few lines of text is not easy, but is sussessfully achieved here.


Specifics: I wonder if the hen would actually be awake during the night, but that would be nit-picking.
I really enjoyed the logical dissection of the options. Everyone has been in this situation and can remember the fear of the monster in the room. Brilliantly described and leading to the denoument, my heart was beating so fast. Thanks.
TR


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48
48
Review by Thinking-Reed
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is Thinking-Reed *Smile* and I have reviewed 'don't call me Sugar'. An enjoyable read- at the third attempt or so. The punctuation, or lack of it, raised some questions. It is not in the verse form of a Saraband.


Specifics: You use saraband in the subtitle, by this do you mean a dance in general terms?

Yes, after reflection this poem does work. It succeeds in capturing one's attention but in unconventional ways. Interesting, thank you!
TR


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49
49
Review by Thinking-Reed
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is Thinking-Reed *Smile* and I have reviewed The Cat in the Hat Has a Task! I well remember reading the Cat in the Hat stories to children 30 or 40 years ago. A perennial favourite full of good natured humour which all children love and understand.


Specifics: Line 38 Better ? 'Bowed down with remorse'

This is a lovely poem in the style of the Cat in the Hat. It has the same rhythm and is full of word pictures. Interesting and good fun. Well done.
TR


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50
50
Review by Thinking-Reed
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is Thinking-Reed *Smile* and I have reviewed Wake Up Call to the Audience. Interesting and unusual, one has to read this very carefully, but THAT itself is a wake up call. How easily we can all slip into acceptance of the written word uncritically.


Specifics: Line 8 '..faint of heart'? or is this deliberate?

This is a powerful message that demands that we take responsibility for our won actions, look at them honestly, and change ourselves where necessary. That seems shocking but is no more than The Buddha said.
Good writing!
TR


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