A story that I`m glad isn`t true about a person, who works in Collections, that will
collect from the person in debt one way or another. You followed the theme
throughout the story very effectively. I liked the way you presented it by starting
the story like it was just a normal situation, then suddenly you relate the true situation with the bound and gagged couple who are then killed by the collection
guy. keep the words flowing, write on.
Since I was a bowler in my younger years, I can easily relate to your poem. You
kept to the theme very nicely throughout the poem. You conveyed your views and feelings about what not to do when bowling with friends. As I read the poem I
could visualize, in my mind, what you were writing which made the poem fun to read. Write on.
An emotional, heartfelt, and insighful essay that I enjoyed reading. You kept to
the theme very effectively throughout the essay. You expressed your thoughts and feelings as to why Sue left you, leaving all those books behind, with many different
reasons that enabled the reader to understand why you felt as you did in the
aftermath of her leaving. The answer to your last question about essayists possibly being novelists with A.D.D. I have a grandson, who is now 10, with it . He has been telling and making up stories since he could put words together.
Someday he may be a writer! Keep the words flowing, write on.
I found your short story quite funny from my perspecive as someone many years
older than the girls in the story. You followed the theme throughout the story quite
well. I like the way you presented it with the girls talking back and forth, as girls do,
in their own longo. As I read the story I could mentally picture them in the hall conversing as youportryed in the story. Write on.
An emotional, heartfelt, free verse poem that is nicely written. You followed the
theme throughout the poem very effectively. You expressed your thoughts and
feelings with words that enabled the reader to picture, in her mind`s eye, the
scene with the old lady reminiscing about her husband. All those discriptive words enhance the poem and make it possible for one to feel her emotions,
too. Write on.
A free verse poem dealing with madness. You followed the theme throughout
the poem. You expressed your thoughts and feelings about the theme.As I read the story, i could mentally picture the events that transpired and feel the desperation of those who work with these poeple, Wrie on.
I enjoyed reading your fictional story about a Canadian American visiting
England. You kept to the theme very nicely. I liked the way you presented it
in the first person because it seems more realistic as I read it, and I feel like
I`m there experiencing the situations with the character. Keep the words
flowing, write on.
Wow, I wasn`t expecting the story to end like it did! I was just reading along, enjoying mentally picturing the events you were describing concerning Wes
and Jewel, riding on the hot air ballon, enjoying the weather, being together, and getting engaged, then boom, a catastrophe. They die. A sad story that
is nicely written. Write on.
I found your first chapter to be interesting as it held my attention from the start
to the conclusion. You kept to the theme throughout the chapter. As I read the
story I could mentally picture the events you wrote about and feel the emotions flowing from the words because of the words you wrote. I `m anxious to read the next chapter to find out what happens! Write on.
A nicely written, free verse poem about prison. You kept to the theme throughout
the poem. You expressed your feelings and thoughts about what it was like to walk
into prison everyday very effectively. The words you used to describe the scene
painted a pretty grim picture, in the reader`s mind, of what it was like. Keep the
words flowing, write on.
An emotional, heartfelt, free verse poem that is nicely written. You followed the
theme throughout the poem. I liked the way you presented it in the form of a story, but in verse, as if you were talking to him. You expressed your thoughts and feelings very effectively with words that enabled the reader to understand what
you endured throughout your realationship. Hopefully you both found peace.
Write on.
An emotional poem that is well written. I enjoyed reading it from the start to the end.
You kept to the theme throughout it very eloquently. You expressed your thoughts and feelings for the princess with words that enabled the reader to mentally picture
what she was like and feel the love you had for her. Your rhyme was good, too.
Write on.
A sad story written in free verse about a man born without hope. You kept to the
theme throughout the poem. I liked the way you presented it like a story, using
his way of speaking. As I read his sad story I could visualize, in my mind, the
events you portrayed about him because of the words you used to describe
them. The words also enabled me to feel his feelings of hopelessness until
he was in prison, where he finally felt safe and cared for. Write on.
A well written short story that kept me interested from the start to the conclusion.
You followed the theme throughout the story very effectively. I liked the way you presented the story by giving the reader one impression of the main character
only to find he wasn`t what he was portrayed to be. As I read the story I was able
to picture, in my mind, the events that occurred, and feel the emotions of the
characters because of the words you wrote describing them. Write on.
An emotional, nicely written, but sad story about a kidnapped girl who managed
to escape after a year of abuse. You followed the theme throughout the story
very well. The numerous discriptive words you used to portray the events that occured to her in the story enabled the reader to mentally picture what happened
and feel her fear of being caught, then her elation at being free to talk to her mom on the phone. Write on.
A nicely written poem that i liked reading as it brought back memories of my
younger days. Yo followed the theme throughout the poem. You expressed your thoughts and feelings very well. The words you used to describe those periods in your life enabled the reader to mentlly picture what you were portraying in the
poem. A few suggestions., use correct punctuation, Capitalize where it should be, a
and try not to use "and" too much when a "comma' or another connecting word will work. Write on.
I really enjoyed reading your story about "Kitty". I liked the way you presented it by gradually leading the reader up to the point of what "Kittty" was. As i read the story,
I could mentally picture the events that occured to Steve because of the many
discriptive words you wrote to convey what was happening throughout the story.
I was also able to feel the emotions that were portrayed in it because of them.
The picture at the end just reinforced the story. Write on.
A nicely written free verse poem about a vampire on the hunt. You kept to the
theme throughout the poem. The many discriptive words you wrote to convey
how the vampire hunted for her prey and got it to comply with her wishes
enabled the reader to mentally picture what was occuring, unpleasant though
it was. Write on.
A very well written free verse poem that delves into what rebirth might be like. You followed the theme throughout the poem very aptly. You expressed what you percieved rebirth might be like with many discriptive words that enabled
the reader to visualize, mentally, what you were portraying in the poem. As I
was reading this poem the thought came to my mind that a person can, in a sense, be reborn mentally and emotionally after coming out of the darkness of severe depression into the light as a new, happier person with a different outlook on life. Write on
I thought your poem was quite funny. You followed the theme very explicitly. You
expressed your thoughts and feelings very affectionately. The words you used to describe her enabled the reader to get a good idea of her physical attributes. They
also let the reader mentally picture what you were portraying in the poem which
made it funny. Write on.
An emotional, sad, nicely written short story that i enjoyed reading except for the
way it ended. You kept to the theme throughout the story. I liked the way you
presented it by telling the story in the third person. The words you used to convey what was happening and how Charles was feeling enabled the reader to mentally
picture what the lighthouse was like and relate to how he was feeling and why.
I understood he felt guilty for his father`s death because he was the one driving drunk, but don`t believe suicide was the right decision. Write on.
A short story that is nicely written. I like the way you presented it with all the verbal
interaction between the couple. As I read the story, I could mentally picture the
events that occured because of the words you wrote. I ididn`t expect the surprise
ending which I didn`t like because they were about to commit a crime using a
gun. Write on.
A nicely writtten poem portraying the compulsive shopper who acts nonchalant
while shopping. You kept to the theme throughout the poem. I liked the way you presented it as if you were observing what she was doing. You conveyed your thoughts and feelings about it very aptly. As I was reading it, I could mentally
picture what you were writing because of the words you wrote. Keep the words
flowing, write on.
Your prose poem about the life cycle of leaves is nicely written in that you write
how you have fun raking and playing in them. The words you write to tell the rest of the story in your poem enables the reader to visualize, mentally, the events you
portray in the poem. Suggestions, don`t use "and" everytime to connect an idea
because it drags the thought out. Using another connecting word such as "so,
therefore, however, thus, etc. or just a "comma'" can be more effective. For ex:
"The leaves are falling "while" I`m raking them----". "---leaves stop falling "so"
the trees ---". Write on.
An emotional free verse poem that was hearfelt. You kept to the theme throughout
the poem. You expressed your thoughts and feelings very aptly. The words you
wrote to describe the sunset and how it affected you enabled the reader to picture,
in my mind`s eye, what you were portraying in the poem. I was also able to feel
the emotions you felt. Write on.
Carlotta
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