What a wonderful story! This is the first children's book that I have read on this site; I'm so glad that I did. I love the Librarian (is this a series that you're working on?), and I love the idea of showing that even the discarded books have a story to tell. The word substitutions worked so well; the only one that I had a bit of difficulty with was the "skate her up". It might just be me, but that one just didn't seem to flow quite as well as the others. Otherwise I think that "Pug and Bug" have the makings of a fun and creative children's book. I loved the ending- strawberries indeed!
This is a beautiful, haunting story, Mr. Orzechowski. It is a realistic portrayal of injustice. Your dialogue is smooth and believable; your story line progressed very smoothly, letting the reader know the background yet keeping us firmly rooted in the current events. I felt that I knew Glenda in just a few words. Thank you for allowing me to read this. Excellent work!
Hello! I am new to writing.com, so if my review seems a bit clumsy then please bear with me. I really enjoyed your piece! It was well thought out and well-written. I liked the comparisons that you made to the injury rates of other sports, and how exact you were with the numbers of injuries. I can tell that this is a topic that you feel strongly about, and as it moves on it seems to become more emotional than strictly factual. An example: perhaps you could cite your research for such lines as, "..Many of them have naturally high testosterone levels which makes them more aggressive." I know that it's true, and YOU know that it's true, but how can we prove it to a reader who says, "That's just as opinion", if we don't back a statement like this up with facts?
Overall I felt that this was a great piece; it was both interesting and informative. You had a solid intro and exit and the topics were well introduced. I really liked the "wealth-rolling-down-hill" approach of convincing the readers of the legitimacy of the sport. Thank you for allowing me to review your piece, and I hope to see more soon!
I am new to Writing.com, and have only given one review. I enjoyed the piece that I read, but when it came time to rate it, I was a bit lost. I'm sure that somewhere on this site there is something written to help me toddle through the process the first few times, but reading that would be far too simple (I'm terrible at following directions!). I enjoyed the way that you broke down the steps of rating; it gives me an idea of what I'm basing my "stars" on. Thank you for this needed piece, and have a wonderful day!
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