Riot's (riot) Reviews

Riot

Review Requests: ON

1,559 Public Reviews Given

2,107 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

My reviews typically cover: initial responses, technicalities and mechanics, favorite parts, areas of improvement, and overall impression.

I'm good at...

Honesty, and finding what works versus what doesn't work. I will never give you a rating I don't think your work deserves. I am also particularly good at spotting grammatical errors and typos.

Favorite Genres

Philosophy, Steampunk, Horror, Dark, Emotional, Science Fiction, Technology, and Political Science. I'm sure there are more that I'm missing.

Least Favorite Genres

Romance, Western, Religious, and anything froufrou.

I will not review...

Chapters and Novels, unless arrangements are made prior.

351

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3201432

Review of My Own Dragons

Review by Riot

In affiliation with

Rated: E | N/A (Unratable.)

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
He ate and drank the precious Words, his Spirit grew robust; He knew no more that he was poor, nor that his frame was Dust.

Congratulations on your recent nomination to "Ink Blot Hall of Fame" by stacylynn71.
Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Emily Dickinson Fan Package!
The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our various members.

Hello there, Miranda Foix !

I'm going to veer off the normal reviews for a moment and review this folder of yours. I was immediately interested in what was in it after reading its titles. I'm very glad I looked!

Inside, I found a treasure of really nice signatures! I think my favorite is "SFWG" because of the bright golds. I really love how the birds match the text color too!

My only suggestion is to pretty this folder up like you have others. I know you can do it and it would be so much more visually appealing.

Keep up the excellent work with making images. I can't wait to see more.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Keep Writing!
Riot

352

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3197302

Review of I'm A Vegetarian Vampire

Review by Riot

In affiliation with

Rated: E

| (5.0)

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
He ate and drank the precious Words, his Spirit grew robust; He knew no more that he was poor, nor that his frame was Dust.

Congratulations on your recent nomination to "Ink Blot Hall of Fame" by NOVAcatmando .
Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Emily Dickinson Fan Package!
The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our various members.

Heyas, NickiD89 !

I am reviewing your piece, "I'm A Vegetarian Vampire"

today! I couldn't resist this tempting piece after I
read the caption. Below are my thoughts on your work.

I really think you have an excellent "hook" with this poem. The beginning immediately sets the
pace, the tone, and the overall mood. I cannot decide what I like best, but a few of the words
and phrases in this impressed me - sucking what runs beneath, sarcophagus cache and
Cherry Kool-Aid smile on my lips. I found this poem to be very image filled as I had no troubles
envisioning this pour soul rummaging around through garbage cans looking for a 'quick fix'

Overall, I think this is a delightful poem, one that many ages of people can highly enjoy. These are
the kinds of gems that I love stumbling upon in your port and others like you. The ending was just priceless.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Keep Writing!
Riot

353

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3197247

Review of Waves

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hello, I'm known here as Riot

. This review is made on behalf of Simply Positive.
Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

I give you a lot of credit for writing such an emotional piece. I explored your folder
a little bit before I did this review in hopes it would give me a little more insight on what
prompted this. I'm so very glad that I did. My only concern with reading this is that on a first
read through it felt very cluttered and like one long run on sentence. However, that's only on a
first read-through. Going back and going slower, soaking in more of the meaning behind these and
the actual wording, I felt it was very appropriate for the things you described: heartache,
grief, being unable to breath - feeling trapped.

If you were drowning (even metaphorically) I imagine that this is how it really would feel. To me,
I didn't feel as if this was supposed to be some graceful easy flowing piece - you were instead
describing the absolute agony behind your troubles, which drove your point home really well.
Overall, I think this is a remarkable poem. I am so very glad that you've braved sharing this with
us and I look forward to reading more of your work. Thank you very much.

Write On!
Riot

354

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3196579

Review of The Empty Fish Tank

Review by Riot

In affiliation with

Rated: E

| (5.0)

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
He ate and drank the precious Words, his Spirit grew robust; He knew no more that he was poor, nor that his frame was Dust.

Congratulations on your recent nomination to "Ink Blot Hall of Fame" by NOVAcatmando .
Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Emily Dickinson Fan Package!
The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our various members.

Hello there, NickiD89 ! We seem to keep running into each other. Maybe it's because you're just that awesome!

I am reviewing your piece, "The Empty Fish Tank"

today! Below are my thoughts on your work.

I really found this poem to be highly entertaining! I love the animated and vivid descriptions of this and how you keep the build up going through each line. I think you did an excellent job with setting us up with this wondering punchline at the end.

It made me laugh really hard! Keep fighting for your rights, baby!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Keep Writing!
Riot

355

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3196576

Review of My World

Review by Riot

In affiliation with

Rated: E

| (4.5)

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
He ate and drank the precious Words, his Spirit grew robust; He knew no more that he was poor, nor that his frame was Dust.

Congratulations on your recent nomination to "Ink Blot Hall of Fame" by NOVAcatmando .
Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Emily Dickinson Fan Package!
The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our various members.

Hello there, NickiD89 !

I am reviewing your piece, "My World"

today! Below are my thoughts on your work.

Firstly, I couldn't help but groove out to the wonderful playlist you have here. Though, I'll have to admit, I did have to throw my headset across the room because it was blaring and I wasn't quite expecting that!

I like how you have a lot of information on the page. You've told us a little bit about yourself and talked a lot of various things. Even still, it's very organized and "crisp" if you get my drift.

The eye candy is also a big plus. While you have the glittered text at the top and its animated, it isn't full with so many that it detracts from the overall theme of the page. I am also quite fond of the colors.

My only suggestion is that if I were to tweak the layout a bit, I might expand the tan background image or overlap the cyan right table over it. It could just be my browser, but there seems to be a little bit of mis-alignment.

Overall, this is a really rockin' website and very deserving of it's trophy. Awesome socks!

*grooves to Blue Monday*

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Keep Writing!
Riot

356

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3196567

Review of Scream!

Review by Riot

In affiliation with

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Congratulations on your recent nomination to "Ink Blot Hall of Fame" by Daizy May .
I am reviewing your piece "Scream! " today.
Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Edgar Allan Poe Fan Package!
The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters! I'm thrilled you were
chosen for this honor!

Hello there, again, StaiNed-House Targaryen !
While rummaging your port I had to stop by and check this out. I was happy it was a poem!
I'm so glad that I did - you and your sister are masters at poetry.

My favorite part
about this poem was the candor of it all. Call it whatever you need to stay happy
you say - how true! I really also like how you take actions and things and the correlations
they resemble to other things. Great job!

I don't have any suggestions
but I do almost wonder how this would read as some sort of song. Think about it - you
have some really great lines in here. They would make some great choruses.

My overall impression
of this poem is that it's really great. I'm very impressed with the way you were
able to string such few words together and make such an impact on my emotions.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Keep Writing!
Riot

357

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3196562

Review of ~Love thy self.

Review by Riot

In affiliation with

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Congratulations on your recent nomination to "Ink Blot Hall of Fame" by Daizy May . I am reviewing your piece "~Love thy self." today.
Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Edgar Allan Poe Fan Package! The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters! I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor!

Hello there, StaiNed-House Targaryen !
Whew! What a hot read!

My favorite part
is all the innuendos, hidden meanings behind what you are really saying and what it is really meaning. I think you do
a truly remarkable job at this, in spite of its nature.

My only suggestion
is that I stop goofing up my templates. I mean, it's really quite obnoxious. Why can't I get it right? Maybe I'm just
too click happy. Oh well, I suppose it happens to the best of us!

My overall impression
is this this is a pretty steamy read. If you're looking to read something not exactly explicit, but arousing to the senses, read
this piece! (Turning off the lights won't hurt, either.)

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Keep Writing!
Riot

358

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3195119

Review of The Call of a Whale

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (5.0)

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
I am a Rising Star! Please check out my sponsor, hopelesslyoptm!

This review is in response to your entry "The Call of a Whale"

.
Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Wow, neat poem! I really like how this is spaced out to form a whale tale. I think this is really creative! Especially the waves underneath. It's almost like art, but it's also writing. Way cool.

My favorite part about this is the waves. I love the wording. I don't think I can find any suggestions for this, but I wanted to pop in a note and tell you how awesome I think this is. Keep up the excellent work! It's well deserving of the ribbon that adorns it.

Write On!
Riot

359

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3177512

Review of The Teddy Bear

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hello, I'm known here as Riot

. This review is made on behalf of Simply Positive.
Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Firstly, I want to thank you for sharing this piece with everybody. It's very clear that this is riddled with emotions, perhaps very real to you. I found it an interesting read, but I'll be honest, by the end I was expecting a little bit more. I did enjoy what I read up until that point - I think that you had a lot of good build up. If you ever decide to expand on this, please let me know as I'd love to read it again.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

360

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3173847

Review of Ariadne

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hello, I'm known here as Riot

. This review is made on behalf of Simply Positive.
Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: The only "Adriadne" I know of is the greek mythology Adriadne. Taking that into consideration, and since you mentioned it later in the poem and it seemed fitting, I assume that's what you were referring to. Either way, since it's mentioned in the poem at the closing stanza, I find it a good choice - even if nobody understands the context.

Style & Voice: There's a definite tone of voice to this poem. When I read it in my head the first time, I almost anticipated stereotypical ryhmes - just from the flow. But as I re-read it I think the actual "tone" sunk in more. I think you did a good job.

Scene/Setting: Because she touches her toe to the water, I'm almost sure that she's literally by the sea. However, I do like the metaphorical sense of being there as well, as you mention with lines like "a vast ocean of love," and "held buoyant by one another," and a couple of more.

Technical: I suppose I could knit-pick and say that I don't think there needs to be all the commas at the end of the poem, but to me they helped with the 'flow' as typically commas at the end of lines in free-verse poetry signify some sort of 'pause' - I think it's fine the way it is. As for anything else, I could not find any errors.

Overall Opinion: Overall I felt this was a very interesting poem with a lot of deep meaning. Thank you for sharing it with us!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

361

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3135531

Review of Autumn Dreamer

Review by Riot

In affiliation with

Rated: E

| (5.0)

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hello, I'm known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Autumn Dreamer"

.
Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: The title of this is very appealing to me as the reader. I think personally it's because I love Autumn, but also because "Dreamer" is catchy in its own rights. Great choice of two words!

Word Choice: See above. Though I also think you did a spectacular job within the poem as well. My favorites are Stanza 1 - Lines 1 & 2, Stanza 2 - Line 1, and the entire ending. I especially like how this is written almost in a story format, as it adds a touch of atmosphere to the entire thing.

Structure and Form: For a free-verse, I have very little to complain about. In fact, I have nothing to complain about. While you kept it free-style, you also managed to keep the rhythm, flow, and structure. I liked how even though you did not follow a specific structure that you still kept all three stanzas four lines. Nice touch!

Imagery: I'm all kinds of amazed with the imagery in this poem. I love the references to all the sounds, sight and color that you added - and not just with the autumn, but also with the phrase "already ginger hair" - There was a real great mix of what she saw and what she was doing.

Theme and Meaning: Well, I was already tipped off with this because of the caption, about how this was inspired by walking up the driveway. However, I almost imagine this as a child playing in leaves, or an adult taking a moment out of their life to appreciate the beauty in simple nature surroundings.

Overall Opinion: I have had this bookmarked for quite some time, perhaps because I had been intending to review it and never got around to it. In any event, I'm sorry I never did, because reading this again has put a smile on my face. Overall, I found this to be a highly well written poem that evoked a nostalgic emotion within me. Thank you very much for sharing it!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

362

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3131253

Review of The Chatroom

Review by Riot

In affiliation with

Rated: E

| (4.0)

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hello, I'm known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "The Chatroom"

into "Invalid Item"

. Unfortunately this piece is disqualified. Not only does it contain narration, but it's over 1300 words.
Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: I felt the title was appropriate given the content. However, I also think it could have been more creative. Perhaps something containing that "Spiritual Vibe" that was mentioned within the chat log.

Style & Voice: Well, this is difficult for me to say. I guess it's a good thing that I can't decide if this is copy and pasted from chat, or from your imagination. If it wasn't copied and pasted, then I think you nailed "chat speak" very well.

Scene/Setting: It was quite obvious where this took place; in a chat room. The set-up was clear; you stated who was in the room and prefixed each line of dialogue with who was saying what. You made it clear when there was an emote, by using parenthesis.

Characters: The majority of dialogue was between Twinky and Gorzon. It was clear that Twinky was having a tangent moment, and clear Gorzon was playing the skeptic and Devil's Advocate. It almost seemed to me Gorzon was getting annoyed in a few parts with subtle hints in his dialogue.

Technical: Because of the structure of this dialogue, and that it was chat, I won't knit-pick slang and grammar, because it wouldn't do any justice.

Overall Opinion: Overall, I thought this was pretty good for what it was. I'm wondering though, why you didn't just cut out the chat dialogue and have this be a conversation between two people. (Gorzon and Twinky) - I think that if their conversation back and forth were put into a separate dialogue piece this would've been even better. Thanks for sharing this with us none-the-less, it was a good read.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

363

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3118903

Review of The Canine's Howling At The Moon

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "The Canine's Howling At The Moon"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: This title really makes me want to read this poem. I love it!

Word Choice: You have done an excellent job with wording here. From full moon, to full of tears, serenade, plaintive down to unrecognized, hidden meaning lies.

Structure and Form: I caught some rhyming in the 1st stanza, 3rd, and 5th, but not in-between. It could, as I suspect, have been done on purpose that way. Either way it's cut though, I liked it. I'd be interesting in knowing what this form is if you indeed used one.

Imagery: I think any time one speaks of Adam and Eve, at least in my mind, there are a few pre-conceived notions about their appearance. Throughout this poem I felt like I could see the crying of the angel, the sweat rolling off Adam's back as he was laboring for the first time... The end was especially creative with the coyote's howling. Excellent imagery!

Overall Opinion: Overall, I can offer no room for improvement. Thank you very much for sharing this excellent poem with us, I'm so glad I had the chance to read it today. Write on!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

and pick up your unique signature today!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

364

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3118898

Review of The Day My Father Died

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "The Day My Father Died"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I like the title of this poem. Not that I like it because he's dead, but because it intices me into reading what you have to say.

Word Choice: The word choice was pretty good and helped paint a picture of the events in this sad story.

Structure and Form: While this was free-verse, I couldn't help but wonder how it would read differently if there were more puncutation at the end of lines and different capitilization at the beginning. However, I'm sure once you do that someone would tell you it isn't needed. Pesky poetry.

Imagery: You did a wonderful job at telling a story. I felt like I was in the room with that bird outside, and the siamese cat was especially heart-breaking when he left his chest finally. Outstanding.

Overall Opinion: Overall, I felt this was a heart-breaking poem. Despite it's sadness, I'm very glad I read it. Thank you for sharing it with us.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

and pick up your unique signature today!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

365

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3115967

Review of Hi Mama

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Hi Mama"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I *think* this needs to be Hi, Mama - with that comma there. I always get so confused with that though.

Word Choice: the word choice is pretty good. I especially liked the spaced out ones in stanza three. Very cleverly done!

Structure and Form: Free-verse, but again, good job. I didn't feel there was any breaks or awkward places where I 'stumbled' and can offer no room for improvement on that aspect.

Imagery: Each stanza had individual imagery.

Overall Opinion: Overall, I could offer no room for improvement and I quite enjoyed this cute little read. Write on, girl!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

and pick up your unique signature today!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

366

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3113837

Review of Deception

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Deception"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

I think this is a great poem about dishonesty in a relationship. My only thought, what I would've liked to see, is some punctuation aside from periods. Maybe it would help with the flow?

You did a good job with rhyming, but there was one rhyme combination I didn't really care for: twist/desist - That's just my opinion though, I think they rhyme well enough. I'm just not sure if I liked the way they were used.

Overall, I felt this was a pretty good poem and you painted us a good image with words like deep confusion, velvet cloak and deception. Keep up the good writing!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item" !

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item" and pick up your unique signature today!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

367

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3113835

Review of Rahu's Game

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Rahu's Game"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Wow, this was really good. I loved the concept behind this poem. I like how you set this up and how you started from the beginning with a bit of a introduction and built it up to the end where the reader comes to a strong realization. The only stanza I 'stumbled' over was 5. You started three of the lines out with "So", though I can see in a way how that may be the rhythm of that particular part of the story. My only other thought is to keep an eye on punctuation. You ended each stanza with a period, but there was no other punctuation anywhere else when I felt a comma could be used. Overall, I had a blast reading this and I look forward to seeing more of your work. Keep up the excellent job!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

and pick up your unique signature today!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

368

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3113832

Review of Kidnapped

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...

Rated: 18+

| (3.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Kidnapped"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

I found this to be a pretty dark poem. I wasn't expecting the ending to that, not when I first started reading! One thing I couldn't help but notice was that you tended to overuse a lot of the commas. To me, they felt a bit forced. Just remember in poetry, you don't always have to use punctuation. Though, believe me, I also still struggle with it as well. Overall I thought this was a decent enough poem, but in the end I didn't feel I really got much out of it. I feel sorry for the young girl, because she was kidnapped and abused, but I didn't really feel I knew her too well. I think you did a pretty good job with posing questions throughout the story, but to me it only seemed to be about her ultimate demise instead of a real story being told where that happened to be the end result. I'll have to come back to this again and re-read it later. If you make any changes please let me know as I'd be interested to see what you've changed. Keep writing, you're doing a good job!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

and pick up your unique signature today!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

369

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3113823

Review of The War Nobody Sees

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...

Rated: 13+

| (2.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "The War Nobody Sees"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

While I appreciate and sympathize with the thoughts behind this, I can't help but feel you didn't really take much time to polish this at all.

Along the way, I found several errors:
There's a War going

There's a war going
beinning

beginning
wor

war
dosn't

doesn't or does not
Its mess up

It's messed up

I also felt that there was a lot of run on sentences, and some sentences didn't even manage to keep same-like thoughts together. Keep an eye on your punctuation as well, specifically commas.

Again, I appreciate the sentiments behind the statement with this, but overall I feel it still needs a lot of work. Keep trying though, and if you'd like me to re-read this when you've made some changes I'd be more than happy to. Write on!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

and pick up your unique signature today!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

370

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3113817

Review of You Bleed Me Dry

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "You Bleed Me Dry"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I like the title of this. It gets me interested in the poem before I've even read it.

Word Choice: You did a great job with your word choice here. I couldn't find a single word that didn't seem to fit, excellent job.

Structure and Form: Good structure. I thought you did well for a free-verse. The flow felt even and wasn't disrupted.

Overall Opinion: Overall, I enjoyed this read, even if it was a bit depressing. Thanks for sharing it with us, keep up the excellent work!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

and pick up your unique signature today!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

371

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3113707

Review of Discarded

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Discarded"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

I knew you had talent, didn't I say so? I really loved this piece of flash fiction you got going here K, you did a great job. I liked how you wrote this from the perspective of the prom dress. I find it very clever that you had a material object have internal dialogue. As for the story, it was simple, short, but effective. You utilized everything very well. Good luck with this competition. I really look forward to reading more from you, so get writin' girl!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

and pick up your unique signature today!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

372

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3113699

Review of Valentine

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Valentine"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Small Note: Your title has a small typo in there, you have Velentine instead of Valentine.

What sticks out to me the most at first glance is the beautiful red text you have, with each stanza separated with a heart. Cute idea, I think it really added to the overall feel!

Some words that particularly stuck out to me as I read this poem were: taken hold, food for my soul, piercing words and entwine me. I thought the imagery was really great, especially stanza three where you talk about satisfying your hunger and admitting heavy defeat.

Overall, I felt this was an excellent poem. I can offer no room for improvement other than the small error in the title. Keep up the excellent work!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

and pick up your unique signature today!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

373

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3113694

Review of I'm Special Too

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "I'm Special Too"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

This is a great short poem. I like the title, as it sets up what the poem will be about. As a free-verse, I think you did especially well with your flow and rhythm. There was no where that I thought the flow was disrupted. My favorite lines in the entire poem was the end. I feel it packed a good point. Overall, I highly enjoyed this. Keep up the excellent work!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

and pick up your unique signature today!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

374

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3113689

Review of If You're Broken Hearted

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "If You're Broken Hearted"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: The title of this poem is great.

Word Choice: I like the word choice here, from dismal moonlight, to madness awakened, all the way down to dying heart.

Structure and Form: I couldn't detect any specific form here, so I'm pretty sure it's free-verse. The word choice was great, and the flow was smooth.

Theme and Meaning: A song for the broken-hearted.

Overall Opinion: Overall, I felt this was an excellent poem. Keep up the great work!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

and pick up your unique signature today!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

375

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3113196

Review of The Thorns of Truth

Review by Riot

In affiliation with

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "The Thorns of Truth"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Alright, I lied. I hit the back button and this one was sitting under the other one. "The Thorns of Truth" - how could I resist? What I liked best about this poem was stanza 3, even though I felt the whole thing was great. How lucky I am tonight to stumble upon a clearly talented poet. I will be sure to be coming back for more! Many thanks for letting me read these three poems tonight. Write on!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

, and pick up your new signature/cnote/gift today!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **