Hello SavvyTwing, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, "The Beautiful Speck," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
How exciting for you! A coming baby.
A lovely poem for him/ her, who may be just a little speck, but to you is the world.
Hello M.M. Chief, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, "Write An Ode To Your Favourite Fruit," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
Yum peaches, sadly I cannot eat fruit, it disagrees with me, but if I could then peaches would be my favourite too.
A lovely little poem.
One suggestion, I would change the title to "Peaches".
Hello Lexi Conne, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, "Normals," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
To be honest I dislike the word, "Normal," I think we are all special in our own way and who is to say, what is, "normal."
It is hard when we are stared at just because something about us is a little different.
Hello Erik Woods, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, " ANZAC Least WE Forget," which I found on the Newbie listings, and thought I would leave some comments.
A lovely poem for the brave soldiers. I like to read war time poems and have written a few myself.
Hello Erik Woods, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, "A Word To The Blind," which I found on the Newbie listings and thought I would leave some comments.
It is very sad when we see the signs and choose to ignore it. Or perhaps we do not intentionally choose to ignore, it is as your line says, "Would you think I'll just get over it,"
Hello yuuzu, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, "It's Just Because," which I found on the Newbie listings, and thought I would leave some comments.
A very sad outlook on life. I think we must all, at times, feel like this. However, life is, or should be made of our own choices. We should never do or be anything other than what we want.
Hello verac, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, "The Goofing Man," which I found on the Newbie listings, and thought I would leave some comments.
A very sad poem, very tragic indeed, all from a falling cigarette.
The only thing I did not understand, is the word goofing. I have not heard that expression before.
Hello Ash Otto , how are you? WElcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem,"You Said," which I found on the Newbie listings, and thought I would leave some comments.
I think this is a poem most of us could relate to at some time in our lives. Being deceived by words.
I would not usually like too much repetition, however, it is fitting in this case.
Hello Proton, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, "Haiku," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
I enjoyed your little poems, especially the first one. It sort of makes night time easier to face.
Hello Basilides, how are you? I have just read your poem, "Nature Never Told," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
Such a sad and yet beautiful poem. I can tell it is written straight from the heart.
Your choice of words are perfect and I loved the last two lines.
Hello Roxxie Anne, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your story, " Letter In A Bottle." which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
This reads an interesting story. I liked how you opened the story with the letter. However, I would like to know what happened to her husband. Did he die? Did he just leave her? Perhaps that will come out at the end.
Suggestion: Always use a capital I when speaking of one's self.
Hello becca, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your story, "Are You My Friend," which I found on the Newbie listings, and thought I would leave some comments.
I like children's stories and have written a few myself. However I found this very difficult to read as it lacks punctuation.
First of all you need speech marks and a a new line each time a character speaks.
You also need to split sentences up with commas, such as this line. "One morning as everyone was getting ready for their day poor Charlie just sat there."
This should read, "One morning, as everyone was getting ready for their day, poor Charlie just sat there."
Hope this helps and I would be happy to review again once it has been edited.
Hello S.I Jacobson, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, "Nostradamus Legacy," which I found on the Newbie listings, and thought I would leave some comments.
First of all, I hope you do not really feel like this. It is never too late to start again.
Lots of emotion and inspiration in your poem.
Suggestion: I do feel it reads more like a statement than a poem. I wonder if perhaps you could add to it or put into verses.
Hello De Soto, how are you? Thank you for requesting a review on your poem, "Through A Birds Eye."
I thought this quite emotional really. I often wonder how the animals and birds feel when their homes are destroyed and they need to journey to find new homes.
Some suggestions: First of all,in the first and tenth line, the word ,"thou," should be though. "Though I fly high and free soaring far past the tallest trees."
Also in this line: "The lost of so many trees that at night when I dream," the word,"lost," should be loss.
A good emotional poem, however, I did feel the lines could be a little shorter. I think poems with long sentences read more like stories. But please remember that is just my opinion.
Hello Lexi, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just reaqd your item, "Promises To Myself On Writing," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
I think these are some great inspirational reminders to leave for yourself.
Especially to never be offended by reviews. You are right the reviews are there only to help you.
Hello Elle S, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your item, "Title Needed," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
I think children would like this, however, I think they would like it more, if turned in to rhymes.
A story poem with perhaps illustrations of the little girl on her imaginary travels.
Also an idea for a title: if you give the little girl a name, such as Lucy, "Lucy's travels," or, " The adventures of Lucy."
Hello Tineyjo Langley, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here.
I have just read your poem, "An Angel To The Soul," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
A lovely poem, I especially like the title, what a lovely way to think of someone.
However, it does read a little jumbled.
For example this part needs to be broken up with commas/ fullstops.
"Your a guardian Angel this I know for you have
a heart of gold you have the eyes of an angel
the look and talk and the kindest heart ever
known tells me you was sent here for me to
love your an Angel so believe your my guardian"
I do not want to re-write it, so this is just an example of what I mean.
"You're a guardian angel this I know,
for you have a heart of gold and the eyes of an angel.
You have the kindest heart ever known
and it tells me you were sent for me to love you.
You're an angel, believe I need you."
Hello Ghost, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your item," Shadows Of The Streets," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
Perhaps the "something" that you feel is missing, is writing.
First of all, the first three sentences: " Ever been told you have the best life? Have you ever believed it? Yeah, neither have I." Should the last one not be, " No? neither have I. "yeah neither have I," does not make sense.
Also the word rite should be right.
I think perhaps a little editing and add a little more to the piece and get people interested.
Hope this helps.
Best wishes.
Sanita
If you would like to meet other Newbies pop along to my tea rooms and introduce your self.
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Hello tubelsaviz, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, " A Song I Wrote For You," which I found on the random reviews, and thought i would leave some comments.
Your poem expresses a lot of love to someone special in your life.
It is a nice, romantic poem, however, I do have some suggestions.
This line: "My heart does glow with tremendous pride. " I think it would read better without the word, "does." "My heart glows with tremendous pride."
And again in this line: "I do pray nothing tears us apart,' There is no need for the word , "do." "I pray nothing tears us apart."
Also in these lines:
"Listen, can you hear the sound of my knock?
On the golden door of your heart."
The question mark should be on the end of the second line as it is part of the question.
"Listen, can you hear the sound of my knock
on the golden door of your heart?"
Hope this helps.
Thank you for sharing.
Sanita
If you would like to meet other Newbies pop along to my tea rooms and introduce yourself.
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Hello CJ, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, "Inside A Poem," which I found on the Newbie listings, and thought I would leave some comments.
I think we all tend to write about our own lives when writing poetry. Most of us have a lot to write about.
I enjoyed your poem, it shows you have overcome problems and smiling again.
Suggestion: I do think it would read better in four line verses.
Good rhythm and rhyme.
Best Wishes.
Sanita
If you would like to get to know other Newbies pop along to my tea rooms and introduce your self.
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