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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/shadowcandy2
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16 Public Reviews Given
27 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of The Gleaner  
Review by shadowcandy1
Rated: E | (4.5)
You used really good vocabulary and punctuation. There was also really good sentence structure. Although, I didn't quite understand what this poem was about. Will you please explain that to me? Also, I like the last verse alot. It made me giggle a bit.
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Review of William  
Review by shadowcandy1
Rated: E | (2.0)
This was very hard to read. It would be quite more interesting if you put it into script format.

Vanessa: blah blah blah (whispers) blah i love you blah.

Sora: from kingdom hearts....blah blah

It was interesting thought. Kingdom Hearts is a brilliant game. Maybe reformat it.

Write on.
3
3
Review of Raining Rocks  
Review by shadowcandy1
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
You used lots of emotion. You also put a lot of thought into this because you can tell. I love your word choice and sentence structure. The only one mistake I saw was you didn't capitilize every line, like beauty and questions. You did connect with the reader. Your are a good poet. Write on!
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4
Review of Monster Morning  
Review by shadowcandy1
Rated: E | (3.0)
There is quite a bit of spelling errors.

Sentence: I wake up every morning cold like I slept in a fridge.
Correction: I wake up every morning, cold, like I slept in a fridge.

Sentence: My bones acke.
Correction: My bones ache.

Sentence: My mind is twisted I can't even remember when I feel asleep.
Correction: My mind is twisted...I can't even remember when I fell asleep.

Sentence: or what day it is even
Correction: Or what day it is.

Sentence: I find myself sweating all the time. (No correction)

Sentence: my heart beats so hard I feel it in my fingertips.
Correction: My heart beats so hard, I feel it on my fingertips.

Sentence: in and out, in and out.
Correction: IN and OUT, IN and OUT!

Sentence: but peace can't be held by a monster.
Correction: But peace can't be held by a monster.

Sentence: not for long anyways!
Correction: Not for long anyways!

You did created emotion which was really good. You used emotion words.
5
5
Review by shadowcandy1
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
This is an okay poem. The reason I gave it a rating of 2.5 is:

1) I didn't get the point.
2) I liked how it was repetitive, but it still didn't explain anything.
3) You did use good sentence choice, but I didn't feel emotion.
4) Also, I didn't feel any connection.

You always want to make a connection with the reader. Keep practicing...you will get there!!
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Review by shadowcandy1
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow to come up with this quote on your own is great, very inteligent. Now what I wish for is to share this with my classmates for us to review and go over. We like talking about what we think it means. I like the words you used; ponder,cogitate,bitter,and irate,consolation. I like the fact that you speak about wondering, because I know for a fact that I always wonder about things. There is always a question of why or how. If you wish please rate and review my work.

Write On!
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7
Review by shadowcandy1
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like how you shared this personal experience with the public. Creating an image as usual. A woman with horns seems quite strange. I like how you told us about the way the woman looked. You run the whole dream which is strange. The title caught my attention very much. You are a great writer and always catch my attention.
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Review by shadowcandy1
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow this is very out there. Did you make up your own words? Way to create a picture in my head. I loved how you made it stick out in the static item by the title that also caught my attention. Although I didnt really understand it because of huge vocabulary; I really enjoyed it.

Write On!
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Review by shadowcandy1
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow, that was absolutely amazing. When you write chapter two please let me know because I would love to read it. You definitely caught my attention in several different ways. The big vocabulary shows a lot. You also used the five senses which gave me a picture of what all is going on.

Write On!
10
10
Review by shadowcandy1
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was a really great poem. I really like the way you used your 5 senses, which really caught my attention. I also like the fact that I was able to put a picture in my head of what is going on. I feel that you did very great on this poem. Thanks for letting me experience this kind of feeling of glory.

Write On!
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