It is always easier to take care of other peoples needs and wants. To help your children follow their dreams is what most parents hope for and to make your own parents proud is a blessing but in the over all of life to take of ones own hopes and dreams is sometimes, most times an impossable task. What an inlighting and insightful piece.
Children are still the light that shines on the world to show the way back to where we began, and just knowing that there are so many wonderful things about life that isn't a moment to spare wasted on all that is wrong with living.
A story that all us oldsters should be lucky enough to read and be reminded to see the world through a childs eyes.
This is a wonderful tale given voice and vision with descriptive verse. You have weaved this chilling yet heart warming piece as only a true story teller could. You do not lack in talent nor in the ability to use your writers experience to create a piece worth a place in anyones personal collection of favorite stories, and a author that will be on their list to follow whatever work they may do in the future.
Wonderful, and I can't wait to read more. I like the beginning telling of the "Authors Notes" which I realize was not part of the story but it peaked my interest to read more.
The story held my interest to the end and as I say I would love to read the series. Though your "stories were fiction" I believe would be more effective could be fiction or were they?
In any case you have caught on to a great idea and urban legends hold a large supply of future material for "could be true" you decide stories.
Honestly, I found it hard to follow. At the end a rhyme? I love to write prose because of the freedom it allows but this piece never breaks free.
I just don't quite understand this piece but I shall give it a re-read because it could just be me.
You are a good writer or you could not have written this in 20 minutes with all the detail. Your picture is fuzzy, (is this a heart made of human tissue or a silk purse?)
Keep writing because you have a talent for it but remember your reader! Unless you only write for the joy of it and do not expect to have your work read and understood, you have to look at your work as your reader would.
Ask yourself, "Would I understand this if I had not written it"?
Look at this piece again, this is worth a re-write.
Very interesting, the concept of robot roaches! I could find the time to read your writings. Your story is why people love to read, it takes you away from your own thoughts for a while and following these two to explore the path they will take.
Very interesting!
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