My foray into mirror poems has been limited over the years, but as of last late because of pieces like this, I have become more and more interested. Your reflection in the stanzas was perfect and the context takes me exactly where you want me. The nature of the material gives me that feeling of tranquility. If that was what you were going for, you accomplished a lot. Thank you for writing this piece.
I have to say the imagery that this piece lays out is very polarizing. With that interpretive foundation established, I have to say that is also something I believe is a weakness to the piece. Your rhyme and meter are all on point. Nicely done there. However, when trying to get what you were trying to accomplish with various parts of the imagery taking the reader's mind to either end of the spectrum, I just think it will be hard to "get it". I just don't believe there is enough detail to support the polarizing nature of the stanzas. Please continue to write though.
Be it football, baseball, basketball, or a soccer game...this poem puts me smack dab in the middle of it. You just took the reader with your imagery into the very nature of the experience of a joyous, raucous, elating sporting encounter. As I am reading this, experience, I seeing actions of many players play through in my mind. Your context was perfect and clever. Your meter and technique helped you to accomplish so much here. Thank you for this piece.
One can tell that you had fun writing this. It has a whimsical, jovial nature to the imagery of the build up while waiting. Then to claim what has been anticipated for so long. Heh, I hate to say it but you did such a good job...I want it too! You accomplished so much that you actually draw the reader in from just the very first part of the first stanza. Thank you for this fun piece.
Mischief, mischief, mischief...but with a very huge point in morality! With the way that you described Aisa wanting to protect the forest and also teach these people a lesson, you can't help but cheer for him and wanting him to succeed. I actually was there with him as he put out the little fires that would have harmed his forest, as he walked through their camp checking their level of sleep, as he moved the man close to the fire. This guy is my hero and this piece tells of one of his protective adventures well. Thank you for this.
Your rhyme and your meter are perfectly applied here. I thoroughly enjoyed this jaunt through a year as winter is welcomed back to the world once more. You accomplished a lot here and this piece makes me want to see my first snow soon. What I truly, and I do mean TRULY enjoyed about this poem most is, that you didn't use negative imagery of the other seasons to oversell the main protagonist of winter. You balanced everything perfectly. Nicely done!
Awwww! You actually put the reader in your head. Don't know if this is fiction or not, but if it isn't...thank you for sharing something so deep from within. If it is fiction, then you have a gift for writing an engaging and almost enthralling line of events that had me wondering "Will he really do it?", "Will someone swoop in and save him? Perhaps the bus driver?", "Will he choose another way to take his life?" Man oh man so many questions. This short piece tugs at the mind and the curiosity. Thank you so much!
I have to applaud your talent. The imagery you utilized took me through the process of someone making a simple cup of tea, and enjoying it...from start to finish. Only, this piece did it with style and a level of serenity that can only be described as truly pacifying to read. Your rhyme and meter are point, but mostly, it's your imagery...it leads the reader through it and puts a small smile on the lips. Thank you!
Man this chimes of someone that is just happy to write poetry. Someone giving a love letter to what it means to cut loose as a poet and not have to worry about the restrictions of style, form, rhyme, meter... Their poetry can just flow and be what it is. I thoroughly enjoyed the almost whimsical application of the imagery. Thank you for writing this!
I can see you truly find solace in this garden. At first, I thought you were describing this place from a squirrel's infatuation with the abundance of nuts in its trees. I identify with this poem as I feel the same way when I am in a grove of trees that move me. In my case, it's evergreens. As you described the imagery, particularly "I dance when you dance..." I got an image of wind blowing and you swaying around with the trees. I appreciate you writing this piece.
This is a love letter from a person leaving the side of, breaking the heart of, reassuring the feelings of someone they love absolutely. With the notion that they will see each other again, there is a spiritual aspect to this poem that ties it up very nicely. I love a happy ending and it shows that even in death, some semblance of peace was felt by the one that is ascending into heaven. Thank you for this.
I wish I could say I disagree with this assessment in a poem, but with the way the current generational boundaries are drawn, I am in total agreement with you. Your layman's way of laying out the characteristics of the typical millennial is dead on and I thank you for it.
While I have not read this poetic anthology you speak of, your poem here inspires me to want to do so. In fact, I am excited! I feel your passionate description of how it made you feel. With your imagery, you accomplished a lot in pulling me into what you feel when you went to live in that collection of poetry. Thank you for taking me along for glimpse at the trip.
Wow, just wow at how much detail and thought you have put into this character. Stephanie is very real. I feel her humanity. Aside from the fact that most people who isolate themselves do have one person they turn to for physical intimacy, she has her areas where she is a savant. In some ways she is outgoing, but in other ways she is very introverted. It even shows in the way she keeps Lee at arms length. Again, a very real and believable person here. Thank you for this piece.
The woman in this poem loves that cleansing deluge outside. From the imagery, I could feel the peace and tranquility that the rain brings to her. The solace it provides her is evident, allowing her to think on her own times, at her own pace. The meter is done well, and you accomplished a lot with drawing the person into her feelings. Thank you for this work.
This feels more like song lyrics than a poem. I put this to music in my head and it sounded amazing. I encourage you to round it out into a song as it really grips the reader showing the absence of love...absence of safety..absence of a feeling of home within love and vice versa. The other thing that really grips me about this is of course the imagery. I'm there with the person in the poem. Feeling abandoned, feeling forsaken. Thank you for this work.
This poem puts me back in the most warm and engaging romantic moments that I have ever had in my life. The one that it takes me back to most, is when I was in a place called Ocean Shores, Washington. It is a beach town. There was a woman I dated out there that was wonderful and we had a lot of fun on the beach. With the imagery of this poem in my mind, I can easily see the sunset at night, the degrading beams of light caressing my face, the love that the situation inspires. Yes with such imagery, how can one dream in black and white. Thank you so much for taking me back there.
I had to nod my head at this direct, but triumphant piece. What impressed me most is that you were able to accomplish so much as the words dealt with both the initial loss of someone we love dying but further having to eventually let that person go...which in turn is us loving them again. Only the second time...it is our choice to let them go and perhaps that pain subsiding. Thank you for this work.
Wow...this is almost a love letter to the heroes in the story. I love the imagery of this piece as it truly is almost a mystical beacon of subtlety on what needs to be done. As I read it the second time, I heard it as a whisper in the back of my mind. It was almost as if Myrtle was telling me, as a hero, the overall arc of what needs to happen to stop people from being petrified...to save the school...to defeat the invisible enemy. Thank you for this.
It seems you admire your mother as much as I admired my grandmother. My mother had me at 17, and grew up quickly. So she didn't make the mistakes, aside from teen age pregnancy, that normal teens through 20 couple year olds make. She made those mistakes in her late 20s and well into her 30s. When she knew this turbulent time in her life was coming she sent me to my grandmother. My grandmother was "mom" for a fair amount of time. My grandmother battled diabetes, gout, poor circulation, dementia, and a number of other slowly debilitating diseases and syndromes, but still managed to keep the matriarchy of my family together...and she did it with both class and style. Your work reminds me so much of her, that I have to thank you for writing it and let you know I truly appreciate the admiration and love you have for your mother. Wonderful piece!
I have to say, this particular piece is definitely well written. It's rhyme and meter all fit and I do believe you accomplished a lot in that arena. Now then, to the content. Each stanza seems to have it's own life and vibe, but I honestly can't figure out how they fit together. Each one makes it's own statement, just to my eyes, it's not clear how they all mesh. Of course, maybe they're not supposed to? Or maybe I don't see it. Please reply. I am actually very interested in your take on it. It is, regardless, a beautiful piece. Thank you for writing it.
Well hmm, I could see a kid getting a giggle out of this. I sure did. I don't read much children's poetry on here, but I would definitely point my kid to your style of writing. It is so matter of fact, that if a young one doesn't get it then they should be kicked in the head. Thank you for writing this.
I hope this piece was meant to accomplish a beautiful literary work while also making a statement on what people should be doing to help the unfortunate. This piece succeeds in so many ways for being direct with its imagery and descriptions of a parched land and people. I would give a slight critique to adjusting the meter of the piece, but generally speaking it stands on it's present structure with ease. Good work!
First and foremost, I must applaud you staying true to the very nature of the time frame that you set this piece in. You paid true homage to it, and that lends an amazing amount of integrity to what you sought to accomplish. The flow of the story, from how she spoke plainly about the mail-order-bride thing with Jacob, to how Caleb was so confident to tell of his dream...the current of this piece made everything blend so smoothly. In my heart, it was only natural that she would choose Caleb. Excellent job!
I am a sucker for love poetry as I write it myself. In this piece, I must thank you for not being too overly dramatic. I think such would have traumatized this piece. Your content here is sweet and soft, but has almost a blunt and succinct quality to the imagery. All around a wonderful read. thank you for putting this together.
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