*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/tabitha_g/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2
Review Requests: OFF
339 Public Reviews Given
342 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I'll comment about your story, characters, descriptions (narrative), and point out errors if you have any. I won't tear you down for small mistakes but I will point out anything I notice. I'm always polite in my reviews, I will do follow ups if necessary and I'll certainly be thorough if that's what you're looking for.
I'm good at...
Characterisation - I can instantly point out if your character's believable. And I can also help with show and tell if your story needs more balance.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, science fiction, comedy, romance, mystery, action/adventure
Least Favorite Genres
Historicals and political stories without humour or a twist. Overtly long non-fiction too.
Favorite Item Types
Short stories *Heart*
I will not review...
Well, there isn't much I won't review. I don't mind horror and erotica (no matter how hardcore) as long as there's a meaningful story. Please note - I will not review a random, weird fantasy that makes me feel like a perv *Bigsmile*
Public Reviews
Previous ... 1 -2- 3 4 5 6 ... Next
26
26
Review by Tiger Cub 🔱
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello LibraryPat Thank you for your entering "Invalid Item" . Here is my review of your entry "Hey Jude - Beginning to Make It Better" .

Judging Criteria :

Plot :

Your plot was meaningful and your story was very touching. I'll admit it was slightly confusing at first. I assumed the whole piece was going to be a dialogue, in which case as a reader, by the third paragraph I patched things up and started guessing what was happening in my mind. Yet going further, you bring in narrative - as a friendly suggestion, it would help your readers if you introduced the setting early on. Otherwise I thought this was a sweet story of a father trying to spend more time with his daughter.

Characterisation :

Your dialogue carried the major part of Harry's character - the reader is led to believe that he wants to be with his child, yet he's found no way or lacks the effort to make that happen. After that last line of "making things better", he has a change of heart. I like that you don't rush into anything here - he's taking a small step at the end and that made it more believable than any grand gesture from his part.

Narrative balance :

I felt your story could use more show. Given that you're well under the limit, I would've liked to see more of Britanny's theatre performance since that's an important event.

Technical execution :

Suggestion :
parents beaming and extreme effort - Please consider parents beaming at their extreme effort

Otherwise, I found no issues regarding grammar.

Overall thoughts :

This was a meaningful story about a father who wants more time to spend with his daughter and realised that it was up to him to make that happen. I like that you incorporated the lyrics well into the story. Good Job!

Good luck and keep writing!

-TG *Coingold*

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
by Maryann


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
27
27
Review by Tiger Cub 🔱
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Poet : alfcollier
Poem : "Mermaid or Mirage?" 

*Bursto*Subject
Your poem is about a shipwreck in which a sailor survives. He's saved by a mermaid and falls in love with her. But she abandons him one day and now he can never forget the heartache. Everyone thinks he's mad but he knows otherwise - he misses his dear mermaid.

Poor guy. Your speciality seems to be love at first sight. *Smile* The sense of attachment he has seems slightly unhealthy if you ask me - surely he should've known dating a mermaid isn't going to get him anywhere. Even so, love seems to be blind to most anything (even species, apparently) and that fact was conveyed clearly in this poem.

*Bursto*Imagery
I love your descriptions! The stormy seas and the impending doom of a ship wreck pulled me into the scene and made me picture what it's like to have a life out there. I would've liked more description of his beloved mermaid, seeing as she's the subject - a quatrain describing what he saw in her that made him fall head over heels would be nice. (And not just generally - did she have a fish tail? What colour were her eyes? That kind of thing *Smile*)

*Bursto*Form
Structured poetry
Rhyme and rhythm -aaaa
Flow - Very good flow
Coherence - Meaningful, logical coherence between your lines.

*Burstr*Style of writing
Descriptive, immersive and engaging

*BurstO*Errors/Typos
call, ‘a Please consider call, "A

(I usually don't correct for punctuation but seeing as this was the one thing that stood out in so many lines of perfect verse I felt I should point it out.)

*BurstO*Favourite part
His memories are real to him, the only one who knows
The mermaid who had rescued him and helped to ease his woes

Poor thing *Heart*

*Bursto*Final thoughts
This was a very interesting story about a lovesick sailor. I feel for him, I truly do - I wonder what he did that the mermaid abandoned him out of the blue. (pun not entirely intended.) I liked this piece a lot, thank you for sharing!

Good luck with your writing and have a great day!

- TG *Coingold*

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
by Maryann


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
28
28
Review of Old Trees  
Review by Tiger Cub 🔱
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Poet : fyn
Poem : "Old Trees" 

*Bursto*Subject
Your poem is about everything you want - you describe an old tree, ancient with many twisted branches and roots with a perfect place for a swing. You want an old fence and a stone house with meadows behind them where you can ducks in the lake beyond. Should you want to, you can take a walk amidst the oak trees and only then do you know that you are home.

This was a beautiful poem - very elegantly written and I loved every line. There's certainly a place in nature where one feels entirely at peace - you're truly blessed if that place is your home. This a perfectly reasonable wish - a life amidst nature's peace is a wonderful goal.

*Bursto*Imagery
*Heart* Your poem had such beautiful descriptions - they showed me your dearest wishes and how you dream of home. Everyone has a different definition of what that feels like, and I'm glad I got to read what yours was through this poem.

*Bursto*Form
Structure - Poetic prose
Rhyme - No set scheme
Flow and Coherence - *Thumbsupl*

*Burstr*Style of writing
Descriptive, immersive and engaging

*BurstO*Errors/Typos
None I could find *Cool*

*BurstO*Favourite part
Other than your beautiful descriptions? I am home. *Heart*

*Bursto*Final thoughts
This is my favourite piece in your port thus far and it was my pleasure reviewing for you. You're a very talented poet, Fyn - I enjoyed reading all your poems. Thank you for sharing them!

Good luck with your writing and have a great day!

- TG *Coingold*

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
by Maryann


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
29
29
Review of Pity Party  
Review by Tiger Cub 🔱
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Poet : fyn
Poem : "Pity Party" 

*Bursto*Subject
Your poem is about your feeling of depression and sinking like an island. You mention the struggle of finding a job and pressure from your family. You feel like you are drowning and within the murky waters, hope is hard to see. Problems wear you down until it feels like nothing is left at all.

We've all had times like this when we feel like the world is simply too hostile a place to survive. Especially when it comes to jobs and employment - it can be pretty rough to get through. Your feeling of being an island drowning was very relatable- it's a pretty constricting feeling to get sucked in from all sides.

*Bursto*Imagery
Your poem had some powerful imagery - the first few lines especially painted a really good picture of your hopelessness. Again, in the last paragraph you focus metaphorically on the confusion and weariness and the subject of your poem shone through.

*Bursto*Form
Structure - Free form
Rhyme - No set rhyme scheme
Flow - Very good
Coherence - Meaningful coherence between the lines.

*Burstr*Style of writing
Descriptive and narrative

*BurstO*Errors/Typos
tho they say Please consider though they say

spiraling - Spelling. spiralling

*BurstO*Favourite part
An island of silence in the midst of the chaos

Powerful hook *Heart*

*Bursto*Final thoughts
Your poem had many layers to it and it was an interesting experience reading through each. I'm truly sorry for the way you feel - and while I can't assure it, surely good times are on its way. Your poem was very relatable and written very well. Thank you for sharing.

Good luck with your writing and have a great day!

- TG *Coingold*

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
by Maryann


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
30
30
Review of Perspectives  
Review by Tiger Cub 🔱
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Poet : fyn
Poem : "Perspectives" 

*Bursto*Subject
Your poem is about a Thanksgiving dinner. You are short on money and can't afford a grand feast, but your children convince you that it is after all, just a meal and family was what's important. So settling down with PB and J sandwiches, you give thanks for your food and begin the feast. Years later, a valuable lesson was learnt from this meal - that no matter how little you have, that is certainly more than enough to be thankful.

This was such a good story. I haven't celebrated Thanksgiving since I'm not from the States, but I'm assuming the big feast makes an important part of this. Your story had a valuable lesson to be learnt - it's nice that you could share it here with us.

*Bursto*Imagery
Your poem made me feel the desperation of not having money, at first. But then your children's heart warming dialogue turns it around and somehow I felt the simple meal was more personal than a bigger feast - it certainly would have drawn you closer as a family.

*Bursto*Form
Structured poetry - Poetic verse
Rhyme - aabbcc
Flow and Coherence - *Thumbsupl*

*Burstr*Style of writing
Balanced descriptive and narrative

*BurstO*Errors/Typos
when she she was seven Typo. Extra she

*BurstO*Favourite part
whatever we have will be more than enough!

*Heart* *Smile*

*Bursto*Final thoughts
Your poem was a heart warming story about what your children taught you on a Thanksgiving day. Sometimes they're wiser than adults, don't you think? *Smile* Your poem had a good message to take away and I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing.

Good luck with your writing and have a great day!

- TG *Coingold*

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
by Maryann


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
31
31
Review of Cowboy Roam  
Review by Tiger Cub 🔱
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Coingold* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Coingold*


Poet : Smee
Poem : "Cowboy Roam" 

*Bursto*Subject
Your poem is about a cowboy who travels far through city and field and herds his cows back home. He lives a life of adventure which most of us could only dream of and he rides anywhere his herd leads him, his duty being rounding them back in and bringing them home.

It's the ultimate dream, isn't it? I love horse riding - I can imagine that the freedom of going anywhere on the whims of a herd must be pretty exciting. Your poem had good pacing for the action involved in the cowboy's life.

*Bursto*Imagery
*Heart* Your poem reminded me of one of my dad's western movies - in an open expanse of pasture or perhaps a desert town in the middle of rocky mountains. I could imagine the lone ranger riding out with his pack of hounds to heard his cattle back home.

*Bursto*Form
Rhyme and rhythm - Set scheme of abcb and so forth. Continuous, uninterrupted rhythm throughout.
Flow - *Thumbsupl*
Coherence - Sound, logical coherence

*Burstr*Style of writing
Narrative yet descriptive

*BurstO*Errors/Typos
You proofread your work. You're awesome *Cool*

*BurstO*Favourite part
Imagery *Heart* *Smile*

*Bursto*Final thoughts
Your poem was executed very well and it told a wild west story of a cowboy in twenty lines. This is my last raid of your port - you're a talented author and poet, Smee. I really liked reading all your pieces. A very happy Anniversary to you, I hope you have many, many more of those in the future *Smile*

Good luck with your writing and have a great day!

- TG *Coingold*

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
by Maryann


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
32
32
Review of Cowboy Roam  
Review by Tiger Cub 🔱
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Coingold* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Coingold*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
33
33
Review by Tiger Cub 🔱
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Coingold* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Coingold*


Author : Smee
Title : "Prompt Two: Character vs Reputation" 

*Bursto*Story
Your second piece explores Sej's character a little more as you describe what happens in the bar. Sej now decides to pay for his tab which was going against his normal habits. It is revealed that he's using his inheritance and while he's worried, he doesn't mind too much. Finally, Sej seriously considers meeting the barkeep's niece.

Your piece is continuing the scene in the bar and Sej doesn't seem any closer to finding inspiration. There was more humour in this piece, I felt and things moved along at a slightly better pace.

*Bursto*Characters
What is this strange fascination I have with your character? *Bigsmile* He's just the right level of hopeless and arrogant that I can feel a hint of pity for him all the while grudgingly admiring his smart-assedness. He seems to be getting nowhere with his writing and his self-doubt is highly relatable, especially to us authors.

*Bursto*Descriptions and dialogue
Again physical descriptions please. Also, I notice you haven't provided any description of Sej's exterior as well - seeing as this is a character building exercise, I'm assuming you'll do this along the line, though.

*Burstr*Style of writing
Your POV is third person
Your Tense is past

Simple to read and easy to understand

*BurstO*Errors/Typos
Sebastian James drinks here....Drowns his sorrows, and never pays Tense. Sebastian James used to drink here...Drowned his sorrows, and never paid (because surely when he's rich, he can afford a more expensive bar or have one of his own, even.)

*BurstO*Favourite part
"a welcome distraction that didn't leave him with a hangover the next morning."

Charming. With lines like that, he's definitely getting the girl, alright. *Bigsmile*

*Bursto*Final thoughts
This piece made me smile and told me more about your character. I liked reading it because it was a humorous piece with good flow, written without any technical errors. Thank you for sharing.

Good luck with your writing and have a great day!

-TG *Coingold*

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
by Maryann


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
34
34
Review by Tiger Cub 🔱
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Coingold* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Coingold*


Author : Smee
Title : "Prompt One: Introductions and Impression" 

*Bursto*Story
Your story is an introduction to your character Sej. The story is set in a GoT like world back in time yet with some elements of the modern world. Sej is having money problems and the cost of everything is rising. Heading into a bar, he talks for a while to the bartender regarding his state of affairs and the man is quick to hitch him up with his niece.

I've fallen completely for this style of writing ever since June *Bigsmile* Your story was a good introduction to your character, I like that you've touched on a little of everything that's important to him - his money and his writing. He doesn't seem to have much time for a woman or a relationship seeing as he's focused on his work.

*Bursto*Characters
Sej (fell in love with that name by the way) sounds like a very serious author who is getting nowhere fast with his work. (sounds a lot like someone I know - in fact, she's typing a review right now.) He seems kinda stingy, and I get the feeling that he's annoyed by the smallest of things from his mannerism.

*Bursto*Descriptions and dialogue
I understand that you're focusing on the characterisation here, but if you feel like it, physical descriptions and atmospheric show is an area you could add on for this piece. I could picture Sej's actions and his inner character, but seeing as I'm not familiar with your world, I couldn't imagine what a bar in that day and age would look like. (Well, I could seeing as my imagination's pretty extensive, but letting it roam free is probably not a good idea. *Bigsmile*)

*Burstr*Style of writing
Your POV is third person
Your Tense is past

Narrative, clear and simple

*BurstO*Errors/Typos
None I could find *Cool*

*BurstO*Favourite part
Can I say Sej? *Bigsmile*

*Bursto*Final thoughts
This was a really well written piece. You've taken a small foray into your world and made us meet the lead player in your work. I remember reading the first chapter featuring him. Great job! Thank you for sharing - good luck with your writing and have a great day!

-TG *Coingold*

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
by Maryann


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
35
35
Review by Tiger Cub 🔱
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*Coingold* This review is from "Invalid Item"  as a part of your Nuclear Package *Coingold*


Author : Jeannie
Title : "My Thoughts On Writing" 

*Bursto*Subject
Your piece is about why you got into writing. You explain that through your childhood, writing has always been your passion and a secret hideout of sorts. Then you found a friend who shared your interests and you both improved together. College years saw you writing children's stories and science papers since english is always your favourite subject. WDC has helped improve your love for writing and expand your horizons.

We'll get along really well *Bigsmile* My writing's meant to me what it's meant to you - a small secret of mine I never wanted to share that comforted me nonetheless. I do have writer friends but I never did tell them about my writing - it's always been a personal secret between me and my characters - until of course, I joined WDC. You're right in that it helps us explore new genres - I'd ever written beyond fantasy (and strictly angels or vamps) until I came online and started entering contests here.

*Bursto*Characterisation
You sound a lot like me - a nerd and proud of it *Bigsmile* You mention that you were shy but earning praise for your writing has made you bolder - it's the beauty of the art we create - it gives us strength we didn't know we need.

*Bursto*Descriptions and dialogue
Your piece is a monologue of sorts and you don't concentrate on the immediate setting - perfectly fine, it suits this piece well. Your piece relies solely on tell, driven by your story and subject rather than the descriptions.

*Burstr*Style of writing
Your POV is first person
Your Tense is past (mostly)

Clear, simple and easy to understand.

*BurstO*Errors/Typos
"When asked to..." Please remove the quotation marks for this sentence. It confused me a little in the beginning.

on different interest - Typo. on different interests

*BurstO*Favourite part
The way you describe your love for writing with such fierce passion *Heart*

*Bursto*Final thoughts
I love getting to know more about authors through their work and your piece told me so much about you *Smile* I enjoyed reading this - and what a wonderful author you turned out to be because of your love for writing! Thank you for sharing - good luck with your writing and have a great day!

-TG *Coingold*

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
by Maryann


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
36
36
Review by Tiger Cub 🔱
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Coingold* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *Coingold*


Author : Josie
Title : "I Was My Mother's Eyes" 

*Bursto*Subject
Your piece is about your mother who was blind. You would buy her flowers though you knew she couldn't see them but she could simply hold them in her hands. Her family were her eyes through which she experienced a day in the park or a family picnic. After a fulfilling life, she is God's arms now forever safe.

May your mother's soul rest in peace. This was a lovely tribute - I'm sure she'd be proud of you for writing such a moving piece. To see light, first we must experience darkness - I can't assure it by any means, but I certainly hope she's in a better place now.

*Bursto*Imagery
*Heart* Your piece celebrated the life of a woman strong in spirit and kind in her deeds. You described what family meant to her and what she meant to you very well in this piece. Including a beautiful Bible verse in the end was a nice touch.

*Burstr*Style of writing
Clear, simple and easy to understand

*BurstO*Errors/Typos
None I could find *Smile*

*BurstO*Favourite part
The last paragraph *Cry* *Heart*

*Bursto*Final thoughts
Very well written tribute to a glorious life. I liked reading this and getting to know your mother through this - she sounds like a strong, kind and loving woman. Thank you for sharing - good luck with your writing and have a great day!

- TG *Coingold*

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
by Maryann


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
37
37
Review of Autumn  
Review by Tiger Cub 🔱
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Poet : Barnaby
Poem : "Autumn" 

*Bursto*Subject
Your poem is about autumn weather and the experience during the season. You mention a beautiful lake and squirrels. There's also talk of a starving nation going to sleep or hibernation, and finally you say goodbye to autumn and its leaves.

I've never seen a full-fledged autumn given where I live -it must be beautiful attaching all the leaves turn yellow and orange. Your poem was paced well and it had some great descriptions - good job!

*Bursto*Imagery
Five stars *Smile* You have a gift for vivid imagery and your poem dragged me into a fresh autumn's eve where the leaves had turned colours and winter was fast on its heels. I like how you've introduced creatures in there as well, I feel it made the piece more personal.

*Bursto*Form
Again, this was where your piece took a hit - I assumed that it was aabb, but then you abandon the scheme on more than one occasion which leads me to conclude that this is either free verse or has a scheme that's much too complicated. Please leave out the rhyming all together - I feel it would free your creativity and let you explore your poetic musings better *Smile* The rhythm and coherence, on the other hand, were good.

*Burstr*Style of writing
Clear, simple and easy to understand.

*BurstO*Errors/Typos
None I could find *Cool*

*BurstO*Favourite part
Your descriptions *Heart*

*Bursto*Final thoughts
This was a nice poem, a simple enjoyable read about autumn - I liked the experiences I gain from reading and this was another valuable one. Thank you for sharing - good luck with your writing and have a great day!

- TG *Coingold*

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
by Maryann


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
38
38
Review by Tiger Cub 🔱
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Your piece is an essay about why women are better than men *Bigsmile* Normally, I'd be on your side, but I feel the argument wasn't fair here - men are plenty capable of thinking ahead when they have a partner that's conducive to that. In my experience, it's only when a man's decisions for the future are against the woman's that they don't explicitly state their plans for the future.
But I agree with you on throwing away plans for the future both partners had together. Though it isn't only the men who do that sometimes *Rolleyes*
Thank you for sharing your opinion - your piece had no technical errors, save for punctuation. Welcome to the community, I'd love to read and discuss more of your work *Smile*

God luck with your writing and have a great day!

-TG *Suitspade*

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
39
39
Review of Christmas Woes  
Review by Tiger Cub 🔱
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Coingold* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *Coingold*


Poet : Barnaby
Poem : "Christmas Woes" 

*Bursto*Subject
Your poem is about the Christmas spirit and the joy of giving and receiving gifts. This turns into a more ominous theme as you go from the ruined gift wrap to darkness and death. Finally, the message is to spread the love and give to others and remember the less fortunate during the holidays.

Your poem had a nice holiday vibe and really good imagery in the first two stanzas, then you play on the darker philosophical side of things and it made for a great contrast. It is true and a deep message to convey - there are people starving and dying everyday and Christmas is no exception. We should look on them and give them what we have that so Christmas is truly blessed for both us and those people.

*Bursto*Imagery
The first two stanzas had wonderful, exceptional imagery - I especially liked your hook. The darkness of the world and the way you slowly drift to the heart of the poem was done well - it didn't sound rushed or forced and I like that you give smaller hints to make your readers adjust to the change in scenery.

*Bursto*Form
Structured with a set rhyme scheme of aabb ccdd. Your poem had good flow but I feel there were some places the rhyme could be improved. toll-cold, you've completely broken away from the scheme and word-bird simply didn't sound right. Please consider rephrasing these lines.

*Burstr*Style of writing
Descriptive clear and simple to understand.

*BurstO*Errors/Typos
None I could find *Cool*

*BurstO*Favourite part
Your first paragraph *Heart*

*Bursto*Final thoughts
This was a simple yet brilliantly written poem with a great message and a lot of holiday cheer thrown in for good measure. Thank you sharing and welcome to our community.

Good luck with your writing and have a great day!

- TG *Coingold*

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
by Maryann


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
40
40
Review by Tiger Cub 🔱
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I finally understood why I thought I read another version *Bigsmile* I read your title wrong - I read this piece and when I reviewed your second title, I thought you'd revised this one. I'll give you a full length review for this one soon *Smile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
41
41
Review of My Entry: Maggie  
Review by Tiger Cub 🔱
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am doing WebWitch's Weekend Reviews for a Merit Badge Challenge, posted on the Public Newsfeed.


*Coingold* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *Coingold*


Poet : LoveDystopian
Poem : "My Entry: Maggie" 

*Bursto*Subject
Your poem is about your pet dog. Your dog sounds like a lot of fun and she shows some typical canine behaviour of hating cats and loving her owner with all her heart. The dog is very loyal and radiates goodwill and cheer.

Your dog sounds like a darling *Smile* What breed and how old is she? The way you described her was cute - I like that you used little quirks to bring out her character and her mannerisms.

*Bursto*Imagery
You painted me a picture of a fun loving, playful Lab (I may be wrong though *Laugh*) Your descriptions told a down-to-earth story of a family pet and revealed her attachment to the family. Her interests and dictates were also hinted at here.

*Bursto*Form
Structured with a set rhyme scheme of aa bb and so forth. There were certain places that were near rhymes - may I suggest revising those for better flow? Eg : vacuum - perfume and regal - Beagle. Also please consider lengthening a few of your lines so it has better rhythm. A few more syllables in certain ones will help.

*Burstr*Style of writing
Narrative (I don't get to use that one a lot for poetry *Smile*), simple and easy to understand.

*BurstO*Errors/Typos
None I could find *Cool*

*BurstO*Favourite part
Your subtle humour about the whole thing *Heart* *Smile*

*Bursto*Final thoughts
This was an adorable piece about your dog - it was a really cute poem and it had a subtext of humour as well. I think it could be improved just a little, but otherwise I loved it. Thank you for sharing!

Good luck with your writing and have a great day!

- TG *Coingold*

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
by Maryann


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
42
42
Review by Tiger Cub 🔱
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I am doing WebWitch's Weekend Reviews for a Merit Badge Challenge, posted on the Public Newsfeed.


*Coingold* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *Coingold*


Poet : Beautiful Tragedy
Poem : "Lovers and the skies" 

*Bursto*Subject
Your poem is a comparison of love and the weather outside. There's lightening and thunder and a storm brewing outside, yet inside there are temptations and sensations between two lovers and it feels like the two are in a competition with each other.

Great contrast! When I read love poetry, it's generally set against a clear, summers day and a peaceful backing, so it's refreshing to see you experiment and try on something new. Your poem was provocative and exciting - good job using the elements of nature to set the pace.

*Bursto*Imagery
I could imagine a stormy night with the sounds of thunder outside and lightning flashing across the window. The 'feels' also felt real to me - your poem did a good job of dragging me into the scene.

*Bursto*Form
Okay, here where your poem confused me a bit. The first three stanzas have a rhyme scheme of ab cb db. Then you break off from that completely for only one stanza and do ab cb, then again change your refrain. Perhaps this is a particular type of poetry I'm not familiar with but I feel your flow could be improved by changing that one stanza in the middle that didn't rhyme with anything at all. Making it rhyme with the stanza before with give more structure and a set rhyme scheme throughout the poem.

*Burstr*Style of writing
Descriptive, immersive and easy to understand.

*BurstO*Errors/Typos
None I could find. *Cool* I would suggest lengthening a few lines though.

*BurstO*Favourite part
The last two lines were beautiful.

*Bursto*Final thoughts
This was a layered poem of contrasts, written well with a lot of emotion and imagery. I liked reading this very much, thank you for sharing. Welcome to our community - good luck with your writing and have a great day!

- TG *Coingold*

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
by Maryann


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
43
43
Review of Darling Daughter  
Review by Tiger Cub 🔱
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am doing WebWitch's Weekend Reviews for a Merit Badge Challenge, posted on the Public Newsfeed.


*Coingold* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *Coingold*


Poet : Coral Boucher
Poem : "Darling Daughter" 

*Bursto*Subject
Your poem is about your daughter. You describe what it was like with her, as she grew up. She has a passion for riding horses and her grace and charm amazes you. You love her very much and your heart only grows everyday to accommodate the feelings you have for her.

This is a very sweet poem - I can see that you love your daughter very much to have written this about her. The poem was written well with a good pace and I like that you touched on her love for horses as well through this piece - it made it more personal for her.

*Bursto*Imagery
I could picture a young woman riding a horse - seeing as I love animals, it wasn't too hard *Smile* Does she ride professionally or as a hobby? Your affection for her was portrayed very well.

*Bursto*Form
Free style with some repetition and a lot of alliteration to give good flow. Your piece had no definite structure but everything sounded natural and easy - I didn't see any breaks in your writing or coherence.

*Burstr*Style of writing
Clear, simple and easy to understand.

*BurstO*Suggestions
top up the heart - This sounded a little off, inconsistent with your tone. Please try nourish the heart or something along those lines.

gently gently to add - I don't know if the repetition was meant for effect, but it broke away from the flow in this instance. Please remove the second word.

*BurstO*Favourite part
The last two lines *Heart*

*Bursto*Final thoughts
I'm sure your daughter must have loved this poem - it was very sweet and a beautiful gesture of love. I enjoyed reading this piece and knowing more about your family from this. Thank you for sharing. Welcome to our community - I hope you enjoy your stay at WDC *Smile*

Good luck with your writing and have a great day!

- TG *Coingold*

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
by Maryann


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
44
44
Review of Hard Truth  
Review by Tiger Cub 🔱
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am doing WebWitch's Weekend Reviews for a Merit Badge Challenge, posted on the Public Newsfeed.


Author : Turtle ~ KanyáthƐko:wa:h
Title : "Hard Truth" 

*Bursto*Story
Your story is about a person who is searching for the answers to find his goal. The man tells him that in a twisted manner that the only obstacle to his goal had been himself. The man realises that he was right - that his love (his goal) had left him because of his own fault. He'd held her too tight and now she was gone.

I like your variety of philosophy. You have a very different way of looking at things and your pieces make people pause a while and think - perhaps they have a deeper meaning or they may not. But I've always said, it's the thought that counts and I like that you encourage your readers to explore deeper into your pieces.

*Bursto*Characters
This man seems frustrated, as he came to the person on the wall seeking answers. But finding wisdom, he's still not sated, because he knows it's his own fault that he destroyed a relationship. But that last line says that he's found hope and that he'd try to start from scratch if he had to. Determined and responsible, if I had to give him particular qualities.

*Bursto*Descriptions and dialogue
This piece had slightly lesser show than the one I reviewed earlier but the physical descriptions were enough, I felt. I liked the wall man's (I'm sorry you didn't provide a name *Smile*) dialogue - it was beautifully written.

*Burstr*Style of writing
Your POV is first person
Your Tense is past

Clear, simple and easy to understand

*BurstO*Errors/Typos
me strait in the eye - I think you mean, straight

*BurstO*Favourite part
The goal is not a physical object, but rather the physical manifestation of the metaphysical force that drives the human heart. *Heart*

*Bursto*Final thoughts
I loved this piece. It had a lot deep concepts and quite a few layers. It was an interesting story with great characterisation for such a short piece. Thank you for sharing - good luck with your writing and have a great day!

-TG *Coingold*

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
by Maryann


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
45
45
Review of Coffee Shop  
Review by Tiger Cub 🔱
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am doing WebWitch's Weekend Reviews for a Merit Badge Challenge, posted on the Public Newsfeed.


Author : marntis
Title : "Coffee Shop" 

*Bursto*Story
Your story is about a person who is sitting in a coffee shop. She is capable of travelling through space with just the force of her mind (or at least that's what she feels in her mind). But she's unable to control time and she is in search of something which she hasn't found yet.

Interesting concept. I've always wondered what it truly looks like out there, to travel into space and see beyond our little blue planet. That is a wonderfully creative superpower - to see the universe at the comfort of our own home.

*Bursto*Characters
Your protagonist seems to be musing philosophically. I wonder what she is searching for - an answer, you mention? To what question, may I ask? What answer does she seek in the wider reaches of space? Other intelligent life, perhaps?

*Bursto*Descriptions and dialogue
Your descriptions in the first two paragraphs hooked me and caught my attention completely - your paralleling of everyday activities with the beauty of the universe was wonderful to watch as your story unravelled. There was a good balance between the show and tell, as well.

*Burstr*Style of writing
Your POV is third person
Your Tense is past

Descriptive, immersive and engaging

*BurstO*Errors/Typos
None I could find. *Cool*

*BurstO*Favourite part
Your descriptions of space *Heart*

*Bursto*Final thoughts
This was an interesting story about the cosmos as a woman saw it from our own planet. My curiosity goes away unquenched though since her question is left unsaid and unanswered. I enjoyed reading you piece, thank you for sharing.

Good luck with your writing and have a great day!

-TG *Coingold*

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
by Maryann


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
46
46
Review of Just $29.95  
Review by Tiger Cub 🔱
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Author : Angus
Title : "Just $29.95" 

*Bursto*Story
Your story is about a man who suffers from insomnia. He's up late one night watching a commercial when the guy on TV talks back to him. The TV host urges him to cut his hand off and convinces him that he's sleeping. Rick does do that and feeling no pain, he continues to hack off his leg but by then he becomes unconscious due to blood loss.

Your stories have a way of hitting way too close to home for me. I've been having insomnia for a while now - the feeling of being tired but not sleepy is a personal hell all on its own. Thankfully, I haven't had such delusions yet. Thank God *Laugh*

*Bursto*Characters
Rick doesn't seem to be entirely in control of his faculties - he doesn't seek out medical attention for his sleeplessness (because seriously, a few pills would've done him wonders) and he doesn't question the man's intentions of cutting his hand - I mean, no matter how strongly you feel you're dreaming, I don't think anybody would be willing to cut their own hand off.

*Bursto*Descriptions and dialogue
You have a hybrid of show and tell when it comes to your descriptions - you don't get bogged down in the details and that works really well to make your plot shine. Given the genre, we mostly expect the 'feels' to carry the horror aspect but in your stories it comes from the plot and the descriptions only provide enough to supplement what's happening. Works very effectively as well, I should add.

*Burstr*Style of writing
Your POV is third person
Your Tense is past

Simple, clear and easy to understand

*BurstO*Suggestions
Towards the end, I got a little confused. I'm assuming that he indeed was awake and cut off his hand and feel asleep (or rather unconscious) because he lost blood. But I maybe wrong in my interpretation - perhaps you could explain a little more at the end to give your readers more closure.

*BurstO*Favourite part
The part where you incorporated your title in and you introduced knives - I remember thinking, "Oh, this is going to be good." *Smirk* *Laugh*

*Bursto*Final thoughts
Brilliant story, truly chilling for me - thank you for reminding me not to watch late-night TV. So many things could go wrong as you've explained here *Laugh* I enjoyed reading this, thank you for sharing.

Good luck with your writing and have a great day!

-TG *Coingold*

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
by Maryann


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
47
47
Review of The Bridge  
Review by Tiger Cub 🔱
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Author : Angus
Title : "The Bridge" 

*Bursto*Story
Your story is about a myth (or maybe not). A new kid in town decides to try it out accompanied by his friend. He doesn't believe that trolls exist contrary to his friend's story, but he's proven wrong when said creature eats him for lunch and gives his friend a gold nugget.

Given the pieces I've reviewed before, I expected the monster - it was the friend that surprised me. Nice plot twist - you seem to have a knack for those. After all, why do we need enemies (or in your case, trolls) when we have friends like Tim? *Bigsmile*

*Bursto*Characters
Joey seems overtly confident - it's like he'd given no second thought to this because he knew for sure that there were no trolls. He was sadly mistaken and yet the lack of fear somehow made his fate less saddening.

Tim earned your piece five stars *Bigsmile*

*Bursto*Descriptions and dialogue
A little more about the troll would be nice, I believe, since we all have different definitions about our monsters. Your dialogues were natural and had good flow - that last line especially was gold *Smile*

*Burstr*Style of writing
Your POV is third person
Your Tense is past

Narrative and simple to understand

*BurstO*Errors/Typos
None I could find *Cool*

*BurstO*Favourite part
As already mentioned, the last line. *Bigsmile*

*Bursto*Final thoughts
I'm going to be raiding your port for quite some time more now because I'm really liking your variety of horror. Even when murder is involved you don't go for the obvious and exploit the gore - makes for a clean, interesting read that focuses solely on the plot. I enjoyed reading this, thank you for sharing.

Good luck with your writing and have a great day!

-TG *Coingold*

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
by Maryann


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
48
48
Review of I See You  
Review by Tiger Cub 🔱
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Author : Angus
Title : "I See You" 

*Bursto*Story
Your story is about a woman who loses a lot of sleep because she has a nightmare that keeps on playing in her head. In her dream, she is asked to look in the mirror by an unknown person/creature. She finally gets over the childishness of her beliefs and gets herself to look in the mirror where her 108 year old self is staring back at her.

Have you read Twilight? (As much as I hate to admit it, I have. In all my adolescent stupidity.) There's a scene much like this in the second book where the protagonist sees her reflection old and ageing in a dream. It wasn't that scary there, but now that you mention it - it has to be terrifying, because we rarely give thought to what we look like when we're older.

*Bursto*Characters
Kathi must be a workaholic if she's never taken a vacation in ten years. I wonder if the whole thing was a delusion for her at the end - she must be under a lot of stress. I like how she finally overcomes her fear at the end - it's always fun to get at them when they finally think nothing's wrong. *Smirk*

*Bursto*Descriptions and dialogue
Ample and sufficient on both fronts. As a small suggestion, I would ask you to describe what she saw in the mirror - you know, rotting teeth and skin sloughing off (feel free to play with it), before revealing that it is her own reflection.

*Burstr*Style of writing
Your POV is third person
Your Tense is past

Clear, simple and easy to understand.

*BurstO*Errors/Typos
thinking of her own answers - This didn't read right to me the first time around. May I suggest creating her own answers?

But if you ask me - Unnecessary word, But

*BurstO*Favourite part
That last line *Heart*

*Bursto*Final thoughts
I liked reading this piece. I was wondering where it was headed until the very last line, it's a good thing that you kept me guessing. Thank you for sharing - good luck with your writing and have a great day!

-TG *Coingold*

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
by Maryann


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
49
49
Review by Tiger Cub 🔱
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Coingold* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *Coingold*



Author : Sandra O
Title : "My Muse, My Mistress - The Calling" 

*Bursto*Story
Your story is about what your muse makes you feel. It's love, a consuming, irresistible love - you feel unworthy of her and yet you can not leave her unattended when she calls to you. She is dangerous, but you cannot escape her temptation. She is your everything.

I believe I read another version of this some time back. You'd explained a bit more about the story rather than the poetic meaning. No matter, your interpretation was what I came back for and for what I stayed. We all have that one person, don't we? The one person who inspires creation and so much more. I liked your interpretation of your muse - she sounds very interesting.

*Bursto*Characters
Your muse, as you picture her, is a woman of strong will. She is beautiful in your eyes and you can't seem to ignore her. You sound helpless in front of her charms - you know you should try to stay away from her, but you seem unable to.

*Bursto*Descriptions and dialogue
May I ask if your muse is real? Mine aren't - I have three of them, and I refuse to give physical descriptions of them though I see them in my mind's eye very clearly. I understand it's a touchy subject for most of us - we rarely go all the way and describe exactly what our muses look like. You've explained what you feel about her - it would work better for your piece if you expand a little more on the show. You say beauty - what is her beauty like? Why is she dangerous?

*Burstr*Style of writing
Your POV is third person
Your tense is present

Clear, simple and easy to understand.

*BurstO*Suggestions
Only one :
calling me - calling me. - I understand that the repetition was used for effect, but it sounds a little off and breaks away from your flow. Please consider rewording it.

*BurstO*Favourite part
I cannot escape who I am, who I will become. *Heart*

*Bursto*Final thoughts
I like that you've taken the time to honour your muse through this piece - it's a beautiful relationship. Seeing her through your eyes was a wonderful experience, thank you for sharing. Welcome to WDC, Sandra - I hope you enjoy your stay here with us *Smile*

Good luck with your writing and have a great day!

-TG *Coingold*

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
by Maryann


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
50
50
Review by Tiger Cub 🔱
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Coingold* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *Coingold*


Author : Choconut ~ House Targaryen
Title : "Alfie - A Day In The Life" 

*Bursto*Story
Your story is about a day in the life of your pet, Alfie. Alfie is an over excitable dog, who begins his day waking you up. Then, it's out for a walk, where Alfie forgets everyday that a hedgehog has spines. Alfie returns home to guard the house from 'invaders in the pillows'. He goes on a walk again and returns home, happily exhausted at the end of the day.

Your piece was so funny! Yes, this is definitely something I'd imagine my dog say *Smile* Though I have a pug and I believe they have very different temperaments. (check this out if you're interested "Bite of Vengeance" ) You story was carried forward by your dog's excitement - your humour made this whole thing very enjoyable.

*Bursto*Characters
Alfie, Alfie, Alfie *Bigsmile* He's so excited! He can do anything! He's such a good guard dog! A friendly one too! *Laugh*

Alfie's the whole package, a faithful, loyal lab with the ability to match his excitement. You mention he's four - is he still this hyper? He displayed some very typical dog behaviour - especially the dog alarm bit.

*Bursto*Descriptions and dialogue
Told through the eyes of a dog, in this piece your show was more than sufficient though I see you relied mostly on tell for the narration. No matter, it suited this piece and worked well in your favour.

*Burstr*Style of writing
Your POV is First person
Your Tense is Present

Overtly simple, narrative, dutiful and did I mention, EXCITED!!! *Laugh*

*BurstO*Errors/Typos
There were some issues with punctuation - I'm not going to point that out in detail since I don't proofread (merely review) but if you need help don't hesitate to ask. My suggestion would be to read your piece aloud once to determine where commas can be replaced by fullstops or hyphens.

going to day, I wonder - Typo. going today, I wonder

*BurstO*Favourite part
Everything *Heart* *Bigsmile*

*Bursto*Final thoughts
Lovely, adorable piece about your dog - your tone set it apart and really put me in his head. Great job - I loved everything about this piece. Your dog sounds like a sweetheart, *gives a virtual ear scratch to Alf* Thank you for sharing this piece - good luck with your writing and have a great day!

-TG *Coingold*

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
by Maryann


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
133 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 6 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/tabitha_g/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2