In appreciation for the time and energy you spent writing this creative story in response to the prompt, I offer you this in-depth review. Please refrain from editing your piece until after the winners are posted in the forum. Thanks!
[The suggestions following red check marks are based on my observations and opinions. Please only take what you find helpful and leave the rest ]
Characters: 4 's
I really like how you developed Yvette and Elera.
I was able to envision their interactions and their personalities/ mannerisms.
Elera reminded me of a fae. I have read some stories where the fairies were protector of children and this had that feel.
I think I would like to know if she was fae or where she came from beside the box.
Plot/Conflict/Pace: 5 's
This had a great conflict.
I like how you created conflict not only with her conflict at home, but also the conflict on getting to Elera's home and how she was hunted.
Grammar, Punctuation, and Spelling: 5 's
I didn't notice any typing, grammar, or spelling errors.
I like how you used descriptive words and painted illustrations of images in this piece. Well done!
First Impression Wow Factor: 4 ’s
You easily flowed from the prompt (first line) and into your story.
This story was smooth and kept me going all the way to the end.
I think my only suggestion on this part is I wanted more. I wanted to know more about Elera and the conflict. I could see this piece becoming longer and maybe even a bigger story.
My Overall Rating: 4.5's
I enjoyed your creative story! Reviewers and Judges are in the process of reading each story and writing its review. Winners will be posted in the contest forum no later than the 7th of the month. The Judge will email the winners individually and award their prizes just prior to posting the results. Best of luck to you!
Hi, thank you for entering"Rejuvenation" into the "Bite Size Poetry Contest" . The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Here is my scoring method:
3= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.
Comments:
First Impression:
The poem tends to lean toward rebirth more than hope.
Suggestions:
My fave part:
The first stanza was really good.
the last two lines however; didn't quite flow right and seemed like an abrupt ending for this piece. Try looking at what you can do to reword this part.
Overall Impression:
I like this piece and how with sorrow and grief or pain....we can find hope. Good Job!
Good luck in the contest! Taizia
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Hi Aralls, thank you for entering"My Hope For You" into the "Bite Size Poetry Contest" . The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Here is my scoring method:
3= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.
Comments:
First Impression:
A parent's hope for their child is one of the greatest hopes of all.
Suggestions:
I loved how you conveyed your hopes for your son while also giving a great morale...
life's about the run, not about the race
this is sooooo true!
Overall Impression:
You made me think of my kids and how I wish them the best and that they enjoy life as it goes and that they don't try too hurry to grow up too fast and miss out on things. Great Job!
Good luck in the contest! Taizia
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Hi, thank you for entering"With The Voice of The Silence" into the "Bite Size Poetry Contest" . The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Here is my scoring method:
3= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.
Comments:
First Impression:
Oh my this was great.
Suggestions:
I love the illustration of intimacy and caring between the parent and the child. Well done.
There was one line that was a little rough:
Then when all smiles around you...it was a bit confusing at first and took a min to get it. Maybe rewording it might help.
Overall Impression:
Like I said before, I thought this poem was great and you used the rhyming and rhythm well. It was very smooth read...well except for the one line. Great Job!
Good luck in the contest! Taizia
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Hi Duck, thank you for entering"Hoping" into the "Bite Size Poetry Contest" . The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Here is my scoring method:
3= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.
Comments:
First Impression:
Beautiful poem with lovely imagery.
Suggestions:
My fav part:
All we have is our hope, like a bright shining light,
To guide us through marshes, a spear-like canoe.
Overall Impression:
This was a great poem that used various poetry techniques to convey thoughts and the thought of hope.
Good luck in the contest! Taizia
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Hi Beck, thank you for entering"What is Hope?" into the "Bite Size Poetry Contest" . The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Here is my scoring method:
3= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.
Comments:
First Impression:
I like how you used and spelled hope throughout this piece.
Suggestions:
I like how you examine hope and break down what it is and what it means.
What I didn't care for was the long line stanza and then a short line stanza. I personally think the first stanza should of been broken up into 8 lines.
Overall Impression:
You used very good word choice in this piece and I think this poem is more of a 12 line poem.
I really like the line: Hold out for possible endings and how you spelled out hope with green letters...my fav color by the way!
Good luck in the contest! Taizia
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Hi NickC, thank you for entering"Gucci" into the "Bite Size Poetry Contest" . The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Here is my scoring method:
3= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.
Comments:
First Impression:
I didn't see hope spun into this piece and following the prompt...but here is what I think-
Suggestions:
I like the illustration of the golden strands falling onto the shoulder.
But this poem seemed confusing and I think that this should be longer and tell more of the story.
Why is she tumbling?
Overall Impression:
Your words are sensual and lyrical which is quite pleasing but I need more to truly get this piece or what you were trying to convey.
If you rework this piece, I will be more than happy to give it a higher rating and a new review!
Good luck in the contest! Taizia
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Hi Jaliam, thank you for entering"CHRIST!" into the "Bite Size Poetry Contest" . The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Here is my scoring method:
3= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.
Comments:
First Impression:
Put faith in someone else's hand is like hoping for a better future.
Suggestions:
I love this piece and how it hints toward giving over to someone in order to find peace or hope.
Overall Impression:
I like the use of the quote in the piece but feel that you really didn't need to put capital letters all the way through the piece. Great job!
Good luck in the contest! Taizia
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Hi TikkunOlam, thank you for entering"Hopeful for Understanding..." into the "Bite Size Poetry Contest" . The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Here is my scoring method:
3= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.
Comments:
First Impression:
This poem speaks to the hope of peace...something dear to my heart.
Suggestions:
My fav part:
From blackest skinned to whitest white -
We're bonded by Creations Light.
I'm not sure if Light should be lower case or not...i believe in this case it isn't...but that isn't held against you for this rating.
Overall Impression:
I love this poem. It rhyme's beautifully and is not forced in anyway. Your words are strong and dynamic...great job!
Good luck in the contest! Taizia
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Hi Joy, thank you for allowing me to review "The "Spirit of America" Service" . This is a Helping Hearts Review! The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Comments:
First Impression:
A nice tribute to fallen heroes.
Suggestions:
My favorite part...
"The power of the destitute
And of the fallen hero,
Hurrying up to and fro,
kindles the eternal awe
of the pompous with the ego.
Reminds me of the unity we had right after the attacks.
Spelling/Punctuation/Grammar:
you misspelled destitute as destitude, also, I'm not sure about the coma after way...unless it was meant for a moment of reflection and pause...then it's fine.
Overall Impression:
This piece is nice and reflects on the attacks, the fallen heroes and the country who became a "fortitude," because of it.
Hi, thank you for entering"A typical family?" into the "Bite Size Poetry Contest" . The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Here is my scoring method:
3= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.
Comments:
First Impression:
This was a great poem about family Reunions!
Suggestions:
I loved all of it.
The dish on each relative in little bites but enough to get a picture...that was well done.
Kept with the prompt of Family Reunion!
Overall Impression:
The piece moved quickly through the different people giving the reader a little glimpse into your family space...well done!
Good luck in the contest! Taizia
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Hi Jaya, thank you for entering"Family Reunion " into the "Bite Size Poetry Contest" . The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Here is my scoring method:
3= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.
Comments:
First Impression:
Memories...a fun family outing on ghe beach under the moonlight.
Suggestions:
My fav part...
"A dozen cousins, siblings, pets, favored friends
The huge oak splendidly full of tasty delights."
Thoughts of possible changes:
"as many uncles dear," didn't quite sound right...maybe, "just as many uncles," might have worked.
The last stanza seems to be over flowing...very wordy compared to the first stanza. I'm not saying what there isn't good. But how about condensing it some.
Overall Impression:
I thought this was a heartwarming piece full of family love and omg! deliciscious treats!
Good luck in the contest! Taizia
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Hi SeanFear, thank you for entering"My Family Reunion" into the "Bite Size Poetry Contest" . The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Here is my scoring method:
3= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.
Comments:
First Impression:
I hate family members who don't know when to leave.
Suggestions:
My fav part:
"Every Friday they come in
Some Beasts from within"
How true, how true. I like the description of "beast" being related to family. Nice analogy.
Something to look at:
Punctuation in this piece. I think it could use some; however, your words do create the break.
There was one that maybe should be switched...
"But...they never seem to budge"
To add to the dramatic effect of the poem more.
Overall Impression:
Nice piece internalizing the horrors of family who don't seem to know when their welcome is up!
Good luck in the contest! Taizia
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Hi NickiD89, thank you for allowing me to review "The Empty Fish Tank" . This is a Helping Hearts Review! The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Comments:
First Impression:
Now I know why you help with the class! Ok, I knew before.
Suggestions:
What I liked:
"The battle of mismatched iron wills
rages on the silent front line.
I'll bide my time, but once I find
that perfect piece....
The space is MINE."
I don't have anything I didn't like.
Spelling/Punctuation/Grammar:
No punctuation errors.
Overall Impression:
I love the assonance of the first two lines and how they roll of the tongue. You did well to express the conflict between two people and their "iron wills."
Hi,Faye. Thank you for allowing me to read your poem/writing entitled: "Locked Away" . This review is from Showering Acts of Joy. I hope my comments are helpful. However, you are always encouraged to follow your own instincts and always KEEP WRITING!
Comments:
First Impression:
Love sees beyond all others.
Suggestions:
What I liked:
I like the way you demonstrated the different point of views and then your own...how you were able to express how they were wrong compared to your needs.
Things to consider:
"They locked you away.
In the eyes of the law you are:"
These lines don't flow as well as when you get to about your fourth stanza.
Try:
"They locked you away,
In their eyes just a dealer."
"They locked you away,
In other eyes just a liar."
"They locked you away,
But in my eyes you are human."
Spelling/Punctuation/Grammar:
I didn't see any issues with your grammar or punctuation or spelling.
Overall Impression:
This is an endearing poem of a love for someone kept away from you. Keep up the great work!
Hi,Faye. Thank you for allowing me to read your poem/writing entitled: "Enchantment " . This review is from Showering Acts of Joy. I hope my comments are helpful. However, you are always encouraged to follow your own instincts and always KEEP WRITING!
Comments:
First Impression:
When we begin to appreciate others...that is the moment of truth.
Suggestions:
I like how you used vivid images and analogies to get your thoughts across in this piece.
Things to consider:
I know you use comas and "..." (I always forget what they are called) for pauses. I thought there were a few other places where you could easily put them for a more dramatic effect. Take a look over it and see where else you can add it. I was thinking maybe right before ...forgotten enchantment.
You originally wrote:
"The power of the wind stripping your body, pushing, lifting your very soul from its core, then the rain gushing, streaming, fleeing the clouds, soaking through your skin till it numbs your small bones, and the sea, writhing, waves soaring, roaring in solitude, shaking your eardrums till it rattles your brain."
This is very run on.
Try:
"The power of the wind stripping your body... pushing, lifting your very soul from its core. Then the rain comes gushing, streaming, fleeing the clouds, and soaking through your skin till it numbs your small bones. The sea with writhing, waves soaring, roaring in solitude, shaking your eardrums till it rattles your brain."
Spelling/Punctuation/Grammar:
See above.
Overall Impression:
I liked this monolouge and your visual interpretations in this piece. I feel that you could use some more dramatic pauses in certain places. Take a look over and see what you can do.
Hi,eyzowolf. Thank you for allowing me to read your poem/writing entitled: "Dark Seasons" . This review is from Showering Acts of Joy. I hope my comments are helpful. However, you are always encouraged to follow your own instincts and always KEEP WRITING!
Comments:
First Impression:
Love at first bite...or not.
Suggestions:
What I liked was how the poem moved me through the scene.
Despite the limitation of the form, I think you could have given more descriptions with more stanzas.
At some points it seems you are forced into the syllable restriction and I think adding a stanza or two would add to this piece.
Spelling/Punctuation/Grammar:
None, I thought you did well to stay with the syllable pattern 5/7/5 if I am correct.
Hi Ciara Ross, thank you for allowing me to review "Waiting" . The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Comments:
First Impression:
Why are we watching the clock...
Suggestions:
I like the anxiety you put in this piece; however, I don't think this piece is expected...basically, it's like you keep repeating your self over and over.
Maybe you could describe the things you do like fidgeting as you listen. Give little glimpses along the way of the setting with a final of the class bell ringing. Just enough to move the story.
Spelling/Punctuation/Grammar:
None that I could see.
Overall Impression:
It's a story with potential and I think some small revisions would make this better. If you want, I will re-rate this after you fix it for a higher rating.
Hi Joy, thank you for allowing me to review "Letting Go" . The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Comments:
First Impression:
I know exactly what you mean...
Suggestions:
What I like...I am partial to free form myself...I like your expression of how someone can take the pain away...or you can just choose to let go.
My suggestions...
"wrapped up" in pain
with "my" tears
So maybe...
I offer you my hopelessness,
a gift wrapped up in pain
decorated with my tears.
Spelling/Punctuation/Grammar:
You may noticed I added punctuation, I think this piece could use it to define which lines flow together and where you intend pause. This can change your meaning...so take a look and see where it goes.
Also...Capitalization...it isn't always necessary and it's definitely preference in my opinion; however, I think in this case, it could have some lower cases.
Overall Impression:
This is a great poem with the potential for much more. Look deeper and and some adjectives and emotion to this. I think it would be superb!!! I will re-rate when you and if you tweak...it's up to you.
Thank you, Taizia
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Hi,{susuer:midnighindigo}. Thank you for allowing me to read your poem/writing entitled: "Sometimes" . This review is from Showering Acts of Joy. I hope my comments are helpful. However, you are always encouraged to follow your own instincts and always KEEP WRITING!
Comments:
First Impression:
Interesting shift in the poem...very like Keats!
Suggestions:
To me it seems that this poem could be arranged differently. For example:
Sometimes I think that
It would seem quite easy,
Simply to expand my beating heart
And let you way up inside.
Then again, you pierce my soul,
Hurting what's left of me.
The easy part to disappear,
Wash my tears away.
This last part is a little confusing...maybe changing this to:
The easy part to disappear,
Washes away with my tears.
unless you mean:
The easy part to disappear,
Wash"es" my tears away.
Just suggestions. Spelling/Punctuation/Grammar:
Drop the coma after then... and add punctuation like above...where needed.
Overall Impression:
I like how this poem starts all soft and romantic then switches to mean something else. I don't know if that was intentional but that is what you accomplished. I would like to see any changes you do and I would be happy to rerate the piece.
Thank you, Taizia
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Hi, thank you for allowing me to review "Servants of Light" . The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Comments:
First Impression:
I like the direction of this piece; however, it doesn't flow as well as it could.
Suggestions:
What I liked...some of the phrases were good like:
"Satan in truth knows he will not win" and "from truth of God he could not hide"
What I didn't like (my opinion only) was:
1. The flow was off. Consider rewording this piece.
2. No offense, but the word choice seems cliche', try looking at it from a different angle...for example:
Satan knows truth he cannot deny,
Against God's power he can not contend.
Spelling/Punctuation/Grammar:
I didn't see any errors in this area.
Overall Impression:
This is a poem that should create inspiration and hope among followers and has potential to become an even stronger poem. Try re-working it and mess with the wording and flow of this piece. Also, when your done, read it out loud to get the feel of the flow. I hope this has helped.
Thank you, Taizia
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Hi, thank you for allowing me to review "Eternal Lovers" . The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Comments:
First Impression:
Interesting poem on vampires though not too original with the characteristics of modern view of vampires. I am a vampire/goth fiction fan since back in the day and have seen changes to this genre.
Suggestions:
Try breaking this up into stanzas. Sometimes by breaking up the thoughts you allow the reader to flow through your poem without being overwhelmed. Also it allows you to emphasize thoughts.
You could also try to expand the lines as well to help with the flow. For example, create flow with a rhythmic pattern of syllables...like 6/7/6/7.
Or just add more images like:
Our lives are entwined,
attached to the soul,
never to part,
destined for eternity.
This would expand the thought more for each line.
Spelling/Punctuation/Grammar:
You did a really good job with the punctuation and I don't see anything that needs to be corrected in this area.
Overall Impression:
Just a reminder these are merely my thoughts and opinions and by no means a reflection on your work.
I do like the romantic flare you give the vampire lovers with the sweet kiss that is ever so pleasurable. Makes one want to be bitten.
My favorite part was:
You touch me deeply,
and I'm open to you.
Your fangs flick lightly,
on my sensitive place.
Only a moment more,
and sweet ecstasy is mine.
I hope this was helpful.
Thank you, Taizia
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Hi, thank you for allowing me to review "The Boogie Nights Strategy" . The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Comments:
First Impression:
What is the boogie nights strategy? I have seen the movie but I have never heard of the "strategy." You might list what it is under the poem as a reference.
Suggestions:
The above, also I don't see two people really...just a mention of assistance...maybe, you could break up the stanzas to reflect perspective from each person or something. It's an idea.
Spelling/Punctuation/Grammar:
And yes "," I spit when I talk!
In not I n
Overall Impression:
I like the poem overall but I'm distracted with wondering what the strategy you speak of is. You could make this longer and include a stanza or two describing it also.
Thank you, Taizia
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Hi, thank you for allowing me to review "Changeling" . The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Comments:
First Impression:
The images you create illustrate the change.
Suggestions:
I would suggest making different stanza for this piece. You could break it up between the change and when the changling runs to the alpha.
Spelling/Punctuation/Grammar:
"and grip the ground" should have a period behind it.
Overall Impression:
In "our bodies join" is that referring to the connection of minds? I might suggest expanding on this a little more.
Overall, this is a very good poem that takes the reader through the change. There is no need for rhyme in this free form poem.
Thank you, Taizia
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I really like how you developed Yvette and Elera. 
I was able to envision their interactions and their personalities/ mannerisms.
