*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/teffom/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/11
Review Requests: OFF
2,711 Public Reviews Given
2,941 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 7 8 9 10 -11- 12 13 14 15 16 ... Next
251
251
Review of The Granson Place  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)

*Pumpkin* OCTOBER 123, 2009

Reviewing for "Invalid Item" 

Find multi entries from gifted story creator billwilcox making me very glad. Mr. Willcox also entered sister contest: EVERYONE HAS A CHRISTMAS STORY.

"On a cold October night, enjoyment for horror reads beckons readers. "The Granson Place"  is one to beat. However, be forewarned if squeamish ... dear audience. For author, Bill Willcox makes fast paced mishmash of a teen prank gone horribly awry with vim, vigor and on scene murder so foul. Look for a haunted house with "human attitude. Be caught up spellbound at: "I tried to imagine a psycho running through the house with a bloody ax killing everybody he could find." And sure this short story goes all out for ghostly." Rev sent from April Sunday Reposting @ "Invalid Item"  *Cat*

New Campfire seeking readers @ "Invalid Item" 

THANKS BILL! This one's great!!! A Halloweeny MUST READ!!!
252
252
Review of CAMPFIRES  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)

*Pumpkin* Gracious!

Well, my dear aquaintance, an "Invalid Item"  member, thanks for sending me gorgeous cards which date back to 2007.

Today came for some advice re: campfires. Almost ready to send invites, my friend. Do repeatedly hang out, hang in, hoping for perpetual joy via your online access to all your wonderful causes all these years.

I recall how very well you write and how wonderfully enchanting to read your work. Plus, sure: Happy Halloween! "Invalid Item"  <> <> *Pumpkin*
Be back soon ...
Thanks for reading.
Cordially, April Sunday

Oh my! What's next???

 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1610496 by Not Available.
253
253
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)

OCTOBER 19, 2009 *Cat*

Good morning, Old Warrior,

Thanks for entering "Invalid Item"  Please don't forget contest revs shall be re-posted at "Invalid Item" 

Now on with your review.

"THE PRINCE OF HALLOWEEN is a well titled poem from olwarrior. Here read addictive lines of rhyme which this author is adept at composing. Especially favor: "It started back in yesteryear when witches roamed the land" unto the curse, the bones in the mud. Wow, shivering with fright, my friend. What if?" Rev sent from April Sunday
"Invalid Item" 

Thanks for entering, glad to see another Old Warrior creation! *Pumpkin*
254
254
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)

OCTOBER 18, 2009 --- SUNDAY *Pumpkin*

Shannon --- hi how are you doing this morning?

Hon, I just finished reading THE LEGEND OF URIAH JOHNSON and am here to say that many WDC authors can learn from this short story.
First of all, this title is wonderful.

It is perhaps one of the best ghost stories of the entire year. It fits the Haloween theme to a T; has fantastic vernacular, local colloquilalisms and is wildly entertaining due to plot. The first person narrator stays in character as strange circumstances bait an audience from start to stop. All under 2,000 word --- especially very well done.

*Cat* Thus concludes this rev, dear Shannon, for a well worked story which stays in the mind and thus shall stand the test of time.

BRAVO!!!

TEN Star story, without a doubt & a must read to boot.

Cordially, TEFF
"Invalid Item" 
"Invalid Item" 
255
255
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)

*Pumpkin* October 10, 2009
How about that NOBEL? Sorry, Lee, still excited since yesterday morning.

Now, onto your review suggestions, reader reaction, author-to-author writing hints ...

For: MEASURE TWICE, CUT ONCE .. decent title, BTW.

Okay, from hand written notes in chronological sequence --- let's hope. A bit iffy as the scrap paper is on the back of THE NY TIMES ... blank add space .. oh well

As authors of fiction, Lee, most writers forget a few of the basics in tense & grammar involving verbs & specific predicate fabrication. Too many infinitives spoils our eloquent spicy broth of froth bubbling about inside any story.

TEFF dubs the entire menu or kittencaboodle of umpteen action words --- "Verb Sandwiches." Basically think of a real sandwich. Rye, mayo, horseradish, onions, tomato ... Now think of a paragraph containing sentences of all these condiments.

Then, as you whiz backward to your hook opening sentence do this ... redefine phrases ...

Always decide as the storyteller: ME: you lead reader's. Eventually, an author's experiences throughout a piece rather knows --- when exactly time for the writer to indeed lead and persuade. The audience is ready to be led, Lee.

Okay at: seemed to get heavier --- grew heavy/ heavier

was standing --- stood

get out of here --- leave

As noted these center on get. Shall post a piece on "get" from "Invalid Item" 
on "MOFFETT FILES TAKE FIVE"  Sat.

Not every predicate in the English Language needs the word get. Even President O used "get" He said in the Rose Garden Fri morning --- get an education --- this is pursue an education.

So, now ... you've deduced all of those.

Next: AT: "... one of the boys jumped ship ..."

A chance and perfect spot to enter into present tense, Thomson. Use: jumps ship.

Of: "get the he__ out of there"
Forget get although relative slang is up to the author. You can keep the emphasis on the h-word by centering on speed --- fast as he__ ... See?

OKay, not all stories need be told in perfect tenses. Grab that advice and write on & on with more space for great vocab choices, more coloquial slant & respect for readers whom attempt prying their minds away from have, had, seem and little old get.

Up to "Karen." As soon as an author, any author, picks a second character with the same letter in the caps --- digression tempts readership toward --- which K? So, try Annie. Or anything you like.

Well best good luck. Enjoy Autumn.
Simply needs major cut backs, vocab spice, speed all known in authorship reality as revision/ re-edit/ revamp.

Thanks --- for reading.
ATTENTION ---> PRP (PublicREVpg) Advice rendered here easily applies to many other novice authors on WDC. Easily fixed, simply takes time.

<> <> <> <> <> *Pumpkin*

REV sent from April Sunday

"Invalid Item" 
256
256
Review of The Making of Me  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
October *Pumpkin* 6, 2009, Tuesday

*Witch-hat*
"Good morning Ms. Suave. This is a splendid addition to a bio block. Something all W.C members can learn by. Of: the grand move from Michigan to FLA, wow even the weather change seems shocking. Of: knitting --- easy really & most relaxing. Of: the drawing --- you go, GIRL! Of the Journalism --- use it everyday for the world around us is not being reported. Everyone can put the where in authorship. Welcome to "Invalid Item"  Sometimes there are a few portfolio raids, rare but eh, things happen. Bye for now and DO keep that original creativity alive by all means." Rev sent on the personal side for a personal item from April Sunday currently revamping --->

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

257
257
Review of Trespasses  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (5.0)

October 2, 2009

"In TRESPASS from Dan Sturn a confession evolves via excellent rhymes which help reveal the tale of a gifted poet with a look back at a former self. Readers are apt to ---> Enjoy a bow & arrow made from a tincker toy and all the poet has to offer in this poignant write." Rev sent from April Sunday "Invalid Item"  "Invalid Item" 
258
258
Review of Recess Kids  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (5.0)

OCTOBER'S HERE ==the second, 2009

Good morning to Dan Sturn,

You know, Dan, I felt a tad challenged by your intro indicating -- "my mind has me so down" to supply a pep talk. Well, author-to-author, of course.

However, this poem, RECESS KIDS tells me you are totally up to form. When reading the obstinancy surrounding the attitudinal group found here ... can't help but laugh the moment away.

Especially with the escapades of the correctional opposites, Fame & Disgrace.

Great poem! A true MUST READ for all.

Cordially, TEFF
"Invalid Item" 
"Invalid Item" 
259
259
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

Sept 26, 2009

Oh, my goodness, Teffy waxes giddy whenever J. A. Buxton posts a new item on Auto Rewards. Thank you personally for this generous aspect, Judity. Over the years this is so sweet of you and this time out all gp aiming toward contest prizes @ "Invalid Item"  where donations are currently needed.

THE TIME I WAS INCHES AWAY is a tender write filled with kind thoughts, taking readers to a near peril situation. On this speedy highway, cringe as if there beside the author.

In answer to your intro question re: belief. Yes, I do believe in Guardian Angels, indubitably.

Now, a pause attempting to recall wedged shoes. I loved the appearance for this sandal type back in the day, but they never loved me back. Always pulling the back of the calves during day time strolling or when asleep. Plus, try standing in these gems for more than two hours. Ohhh, the horror sends shivers thru a person's very soul.

Note with this spelndid good Samaratin pen, there is only one tiny use of the overused word "get."
Suggest @ "get into" try swerve.

Today, Buxton, reading SEVEN MILE BEACH by Tom Gilling, Black Cat, NY publisher, c-rt 2008.

As we know down at "Invalid Item"  this post "HELP ME GET OVER 'GET', A TEFF NL"   often continually plagues g-word sleuths once read.

Of note: poor Mr. Gilling above might hold a record for overuse of get & got.

Since, Buxton is the lady author who turned Teff onto a daily vocab builder site in 2008 --- here's my new Q.

Buxton: How can we depart a car? I now use climb out instead of get out or get into. Oh, woe is us.

Thank you for this opportunity to share reader to reader, author to author and reviewer to reviewee.

Best Autum ahead. And as we wish WDC it's 9th happy birthday, happy birthday to you also, Judity Buxton for showing your audience all in your port and all of your published works for so many entertaining, educational years.

Signed, your friend,
April Sunday
"Invalid Item" 
260
260
Review of Breaking News  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: ASR | (5.0)

Sept 24, 2009

To Mr: Dan Sturn -- This is huge, is what I want to write. Then huge isn't a word we often encounter in a review. However, that is how good this item is, dear author.

Now --- for the real review --

"When writing.com author, Dan Sturn takes a moment to examine big government's take on a headache cure, look here for tantalizing information from the heads of state. As well, find a few well placed jibes at the MSM. BREAKING NEWS affords an insider's cure, sure to tickle those pulsating foreheads inundated with pundit speak via common everyday sources." Thanks, quite an enjoyable read! From April Sunday /// Sept 24, 2009.

typo --- near Tylenol --- were given an asprin
261
261
for entry "The Witches' Cauldron" 
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


9/10/'9

HI to FEATHER DUSTER!!! TEFF here back again. This poem has sent me to the kitchen for some popcorn leftover from a jaunt to a nearby circus @ "Invalid Item" .

Dear Poet, Oh one truly hears you offer in cadence a dare to see, to hear, to read & join the show ... the show ... As Halloween tales are all coming together on "Invalid Item"  Vicki knows how to entertain. Showmanship to the audience, an autumn gift.

THE WITCHS' CAULDRON is a fantastic poem. Poetry is alive and well as this poet scripts rhymes in timely fashion.

Especially afraid with ---

"The spell book must be looked
At when the moon is full ..."

Now about those children, my dear ???

Best autumn ever, visit the forum, hon.

Bye for now ---
TEFF
BOO!
262
262
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


September 6, Monday, Labor Day -2009

One may read this poem three times and still want to read it again. Each stanza tells a tale of the "disenfranchised."

Here, in HUMANITY IN EARLY TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY, this wonderful poet, Prosperous Snow captures her theme. Felt as if at "the clinic door" "waiting."

Thanks for your entry, in ---
"Invalid Item" 

Look for a winning announcement on this FRONTLINER contest/ forum later today.

Great job!
Cordially, TEFF
263
263
Review of A Moment In Time  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)


September, 6, 2009 LABOR DAY

Good morning, Pat Nelson,

Your poem, A MOMENT IN TIME captures all so vividly, then whoosh like "laughter dancing upon the water" and here at this very second --- you reveal all. Wonderful ploy. Excellent poem, Nelson.

Thanks for your entry in
"Invalid Item" 

Where a winner shall be named today.

Cordially, TEFF
264
264
Review of Folgers Falls  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (4.0)

"George Lasher is up and about of an early morn. This time out receiving a lecture on the finer points of fine ground coffee. In this flash, traditional short story-ist, Mr Lasher, also a prominent member of "Invalid Item"  pulls a part a few things leading to mayhem." Rev sent from April Sunday NEW BLOG DEBUT August 26 ----> "Invalid Item" 

George, stop by. We're --- OPEN site wide:

 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1343647 by Not Available.
265
265
Review of Last Hurt  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)

August 17, 2009

Hello, Ida Matilda,

Your poem LAST HURT certainly does include much for the couple mentioned as your inspiration for this poem.

Present also in the lines is a sadly honest delivery especially when one reads:

"What I am writing is real...

Oh my. And must add that realism for life's tumoil is also present & heard in this one.

Coridally,
TEFF
266
266
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (4.0)

"AS A MATTER OF FACT, IT'S FUN crests Auto Rewards page 8. Technically speaking as someone who hasn't lifted a bowling ball for more than three decades ... found this rhyme time near the alley to be accurate, and a fun read. The sport is out there and endures the test of time. Thanks for the pen and for taking bowling into the realm of poetry as well, Tim Chiu. Poetry on! " Review sent from April Sunday August 17, 2009
267
267
Review of The Bitter Rose  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (4.5)

"From the portfolio of http://www.writing.com poet, Brian Chase arrives THE BITTER ROSE. Here one may find a wonderful, entertaining means of making stanzas sing .. due to rhyme and cadence. Suggest this one for all aspiring authors who like the perfect soundbite in a poem. Thanks for posting, Brian." Cordially from TEFF/ August 17, 2009, My Portfolio practically closed. Open At "POETRY FROM SOUL CAFE" 
268
268
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (5.0)

August 17, 2009 -- Monday

"Whenever the philosophical renderings from the pen of Marleen, aka Leen emerge from deep thought, one sees evidence of strong wit. In UNWRAP THE GIFT OF THE PRESENT, the poety ken comes alive with good advice." Review sent from April Sunday "Invalid Item" 
269
269
Review of Indigo Girl  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (4.5)

"A contest entry, namely" INDIGO GIRLS from hyperlongate leaves the tarmac of http://www.writing.com with flying colors. Jane Hartman of the horn rims tries to persuade Samantha and Mike to see the orphanage. The kids gather, knowing ... "They are here to adopt." When a special girl with psychic powers enters their life ... well click this one for a clearly creative story." Review sent August 16, 2009

Cordially,
April Sunday
270
270
Review of Love on a Seesaw  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

"When Redtowrite begins a story, prepare for some surprises. In TWO ON A SEESAW meet the multi-personality charcter, Polly & Caro. Both names well chosen as well as the caring manner of the lover, Greg. Amazing play also for the job scene involving Social Services. Realism found here surrounding a personality disorder in the making. Seldom found one of these before. Very original indeed." Review sent from April Sunday August 16, 2009
271
271
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (4.0)

August 16, 2009

Hello, there again, Gibbons ...

found your poem, NO MORE WONDER ... set down on the Auto Rewards
column ... and oh how well this one does read.

Of the "first and last date" you really had me for a moment or two. Nice poem, good rhyme scheme.

Tiny typo --- twice for your === you're.

Keep them coming.

Cordially,
April Sunday
272
272
Review of Speeding  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (5.0)

August 15, 2009, Saturday

Hello: Field;

Might I mention at the outset? That SPEEDING is fabulous, start to finish.
While all content reveals the characters in the temporary care of the coppers.

Also: must seriously compliment the following phrases:

*Heart* "baby faced's" replacement --- "chiselled & hardened." PERFECT!!!

*Heart* "steadfastness in the face of adversity"

And: "outrageous laziness."

Thanks for posting. Great style & wit found here.

Cordially,
April Sunday
273
273
Review of " Books "  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

August 15, 2009

Hello, Sad Bear.

Found your story BOOKS on Auto-Rewards.

Must say, do like the premise of the broken hearted boyfriend enjoying things left behind by the ex-girlfriend. Quite a neat story idea, really.

Your punctuation needs tons of work. Especially quote arena. However, this is not an edit, of course.

'Forget' and 'anything" are each one word.

Now, why not mention the author from Maine? Is it King?

Good story, great insight evident in the content. Thanks for posting.

Cordially,
April Sunday
274
274
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)

August 15, 2009


Good morning to embe with thanks for your entry in "Invalid Item"  where many site-wide members submit stories and poems, new or old, year round. This contest open until 3pm today.

Okay, Embe, plug for the contest aside ... now onto your public rev.

"Embe is a poet whose work is memorable. An important quality in authorship these days, especially with all the Internet has to offer.

"In SCARLET ROSE --- POISON IVY one feels a take on O. Henry growing outside the window where "jealous poison ivy" lurks. And can appreciate the latter as a gardener who catches the dreaded itch sometimes."

Embe --- you're in the running!

Best wishes for a fine weekend.
Signed April Sunday
275
275
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (5.0)

August 13, 2009

My goodness, Miss Marlean, the things you do come up with sometimes set one's hair on end. Well, then in my case as your present READER (not reviewer --- although crafting another public gem hee- hee) just grab me due to a condition which one can't really seem to ever ignore. Nemely: Pre-conditioned thought syndrome.

However, this info you cast in the direction of you blogspot link and onto Auto Rewards re: "IF time is money" should help shed the shackles which we might sometimes feel" if ever writing for an onsite audience only. The latter impossible in most cases.

Love the eye-openers you have ALWAYS shared with so many.

THANK YOU!!!

Cordially, TEFF
979 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 40 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/teffom/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/11