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Review of Santa is a Thief  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

DEC. 8, 2008

"In ... SANTA IS A THIEF from the portfolio of refust101 readers find a child on full alert. When the first person narrator imagines Santa as a house invader, capable of "stealing toys" mayhem ensues. Thinking to best even the likes of Kris Kringle before the innocent age of eight, "an indentured servant --- my sister" is enlisted to join an impromptu "army" line of defense. Readers on WC shall surely enjoy this cute tale re: a Christmas past. Charming rendition."

Lots of winners, lost of submissions.

Check out
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#1190255 by Not Available.


Thanks for your entry, Rufus. This one really made me chuckle a true jelly-belly laugh ... ala a HO HO HO.

As a consolation prize, you will receive a membership in "Invalid Item" 

Meanwhile, Merry Merry!

Also, to all reading on PubRevPg --- donations and entries welcome/ deadline Jan 15.
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Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (5.0)

Nov 30, 2008
Looks like the start of OUR holiday season @

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#1190255 by Not Available.


Where author, Oldwarrior is agreeably submitting a wonderful series of Christmas entries.

In NORTH POLE CHRISTMAS, the author details his worst Christmas ever. Imagine if you will -- being "stationed ... at Fort Richardson, Alaska" in "1970."

Deployment to the North Pole ensues with a list of equippment which boggles the average mind. Next: "parachuted, "fighting off ... frostbite and polar bears" adds to the excitement evident in this Christmas tale far from civilization.

If you like Christmas and action adventure genre -- suggest http://www.writing.com membership read this one. What a goings on!

BRAVO!!

Cordially, TEFF

PS: NORTH POLE CHRISTMAS is a great title and already on the winners list. Prize included. Thanks for entering, dear author.
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Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (4.0)




"C. J. Groshek offers THE ANCESTOR OF YOUR YEARS on auto Rewards. This poem is rife with moody methods of looking back. Yet, presents to a second person aspect for the audience on the play of the spectrum ancestor -- belonging to a few, belonging to all and a character of the poetic muse nontheless. Well done poetic ploy evident in this one." Nov 30, 2008/ April Sunday "POETRY FROM SOUL CAFE" 
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for entry "Invalid Entry" 
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)

Nov 30. 2008

Good morning: AJVega

Checking your bio, one sees you have the INKSPOT option and are listed on My Space.

From the Auto Rewards page can only find your novel is Sci Fic, but inside your port, while length is still unlisted do note copyrt date of Oct 14, 2008. And that your novel, A I OFFERING has seven chapters. Like the presentation of bold, which is much easier to read. This type of print gains attention.

In the piece there is no science. Sci-fic as a genre usually requires scinetific details, not merely allusions to same.

Okay, with handwritten notes will critique
the following:

Opening Par -- or hook paragraph.
Even though you are writing a chapter that follows chapter 6, Chapter 7: LAIN'S CONTACT should still be presented as standing on it's own.

Why? Because readers tend to pause and return to a novel. Each hook paragrpah has to grab interest.

Opening Par: "In the dark ... Lain mentioned. With dizziness. Now his eys take on the actions of a brain. "His vision struggled." To some this may constitute a second party / Lain the character and his eyes. Further now he recalls things: an ocean voyage, "his last time on Earth."

Personally, not into the waking up of characters in lengthy detail.

2nd Par -- Lain blames "whiskey" for the state he's in. Past tense could be present tense as action is ongoing and happening in the now time frame.

3rd Par --- Lain's take is "panic" --- he questions "paralysis." Not a bit exciting, if you ask me.

By Par 5 --- "eyes responded to his command ... oddly written. Again with the eyes.

6th Par --- Enter an explosion & fire, no scientific details at all.

7th Par -- Lain is burnt to a crisp ---

Wait --- Woa! Now there's salvation in the form of a "female voice."

Ahah! Ye olde fake scene which the girl/ lady (?) "Chorus" dispells. Now no fire, no tedious Par- ONE thru approx Par TEN -- all is well and scenes of doom, fire & explosion are scheduled somewhere, somehow to recede. Oh boy.

At: "hell or purgatory" either the author is still uncertain OR -- he/she wishes readers to turn full circle back to the first three words of this chapter and linger of their own free will, courting their patience and reading pleasure while the audience per se is back to square one and those opening there words --- readers are "in the dark" with this one.

So great good luck with this novel. Do seriously consider less on the waking character theme we see so often onsite.

Thanks, for reading this rev, dear author. May you have a great Sunday and a prosperous DEC Holiday Season.

Cordially, TEFF

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#1052690 by Not Available.
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Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (5.0)


Nov 9, 2008

 Great Good Morning Blue!

Yes, we've a new dawn, a very busy president elect and salvation for the piece written in Philly in 1787!

With your poll, HAVE U HUGGED YOUR CONSTITUTION TODAY? --- the results so far onsite are 22 voted, 2 did not vote. So, you've only had 23 poll takers, here Blue. A tad sad, but maybe more will comment and vote in this timely poll.

Meanwhile, Blue, things stay steady on my blog listed below. We're a nation celebrating and extremely hopeful for a true return to equality. Elitism never really made the cut in popular themes over the centuries.

Over the years (since yours truly joined this site in Oct 2004) and reading many of Dragon Blue's poetic lines while aware of her avid community based national writing category scripts as well ...

Might I suggest readers of PRP begin to stay in touch with the future Pres O, our country (the USA) and ...

please take this poll. The results of the election, honey, sent me into a fine line of happiness, as well.

Great idea, Blue.
Cordially, your friend, Miss Teffy

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#952447 by Not Available.
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Review of Portsmouth  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: ASR | (4.0)

"PORTSMOUTH offers a mixed bag of happenstance in Fantasy Genre. Firstly, one discovers a setting in the opening paragraps which provides a very detailed visual for the audience. Well done, there. Next, dialog helps tell the story, heightened by Kaedon, in his horse-drawn carriage. PORTSMOUTH draws on an turn-of-the-century theme with docks, sea captains, vernacular etc. Often done in this genre which also often depicts a blend of nonreality with an unknown, undated historic life.

Like the picture painted by the pen for the candles in stained galss. Of: "cramped quarters of a Portsmouth street" perhaps the fantasy realm is flexing akin to reality as with "teen" but not with "tunic."

Suddenly, one discovers one of the best sentences in the chapter, which are not only hard to write, but this one sings. This sentence starts ... "The cold, earthy, smoked filled west wind ..." and helps set the pace while gluing setting & action together. Toss in a blindfold, a blind man, a barkeep and one encounters a knack for the mixed bag return to yore. Well done start overall. Imagine this ending with a Southern accent and you attain your foot in the door type novel." "Invalid Item"  Nov 9, 2008 April Sunday

Conclusion: In a sense a difficult read. Suggest the author consider historic research, a pattern for his plot and instead try his hand at historic fiction.
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Review of November 5, 2008  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

Nov 8 -- 2008 --

Hey girl! Buxton, nice slice of history.

We must record history and this landslide election at every turn as you do here in NOV 5, 2008.

NOW IS A great opportunity for realism and bio blogs, no doubt.

Our shocked red state voters often located near large active military bases. As you know as a California resident, Judity.

{/b Judy, Judy, Judy imagine how happy our nation with all new hopes, return to a decade past in many ways, aide to US cities. All changes pending. Your piece compliments a great campaigner, a handsome Pres. O, one intellectually courageous American. Your "New England" voted Obaba-Biden unanimously. Imagine!

I too loved the map, the early calls, the instant concession. What a night!

Best next four years, babycakes.

Now a whole nation CELEBRATES!
Maybe even the world. WOW!

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#952447 by Not Available.
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Review of Sweet Samantha  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

Oct 31, 2008
Oh yikes, Halloween ... Hi Prier!

SWEET SAMANTHA is one of the best told stories, read by me in some time on http://www.writing.com.

The quick pace of an opening or hook paragraph starting with a fast car, a recap of the former VA residence sets the piece moving at once. Coupled with "thought out of focus" allowing readers to know something untoward is about to go down.

Tie-ins to the apartment, its details, Larry, Sam's photo and Bob all add up to a fantastic short story. Your style is coming through loud and clear. A writing style of compostition is something all authors of fiction, no matter the genre, should strive for in their works of art.

Knowing that, yes, this humble revver (moi) has been privledged to read your work before only adds to the delight for SWEET SAMANTHA is one of those stories which also bears the well earned marks of a scroll-downer, a page turner, hon.

Loved it, start to finish. Much thanks.

Cordially, TEFF
Writing for "Invalid Item" 

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ATTENTION PRP!!

SWEET SAMANTHA by Prier is ten star fiction! Bravo!
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Review of Blip Blip Bleep  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (4.0)


Oct. 30, 2008

BLIP BLIP BLIP is the perfect title for a poem including the following lines:
"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
Silicon masters with power and lust .."

To: WC membership: And our dear author who wrote BLIP BLIP BLEEP ---> You know when we examine the tediousness of the stock market crash, upswing, lowering and recrash again & again (post Sept 10) we must also address the rise and fall of the companies who float (provide) the world wide web. Just a a few words of caution via this reviewer. Save everything on disk, one never knows the carriers's fates these days.

This review is being written & sent to:
Invariably Dark.

Also, of the beloved affair "mankind" has with online & PC. We conquered the info hotline and are duly ensconced.

Good take on an ongoing theme. Thanks, dear poet. May you find your nook and be made very welcome onsite.

Rev sent and reposted for the I REMEMBER WHEN GROUP FORUM.

Cordially; April Sunday

SOUL CAFE ANTHOLOGY c/1994/1999  (18+)
Early poems written in my college days & for Soul Cafe, a read aloud poetry group.
#983036 by April Sunday


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Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (3.0)


Oct. 30, 2008

This review shall be posted on th I REMEMBER WHEN FORUM.

Author, Invariably Dark, a new member of http://www.writing.com is posting a number of poems on Auto Rewards this week.

These poems are easily read and enjoyable when thoughts between the lines are presented. Which can make a person think about the subject.

Of: THE VALUE OF NOTHING, in sum: perhaps (perhaps) a person stands with a sign begging. When all is said and written, in rhyme the value of nothing to the character is nada.

Welcome to WC, enjoy the site and do indeed continue to RHYME ON!

Cordially, TEFF New Owner:

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#1411346 by Not Available.


Finding new vocab by the hour for

"Invalid Item" 

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Review of The Anchor  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (3.0)

"Welcoming poet, Invariably Dark to http://www.wrting.com, with a few words for THE ANCHOR. While the intro offers a dedication from the author, the poem doesn't include same, other than the word 'love' nearly at the conclusion. Suggest including the person, in the poem itself, if that is the intention meant to address to your readers. Also: *Heart*
use of "fray" which fits to a tee." Oct. 30, 2008/ "Invalid Item"  // April Sunday

Again a fond welcome to our writing, reading site, dear Dark. Do enjoy Autumn!

Cordially, TEFF

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Review of The Search  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (3.0)

OCT. 30, 2008

Good morning, Inariably Dark with a fond welcome to http://www.writing.com.

llllllllll SIDEBAR lllllllllll Please, allow for the fact that this review also greets you one day before ALL HALLOW'S EVE. As we know originally in Europe, probably Ireland, if one may be specific and England, folks dressed in their saint's names due to a stint of celebration one night prior to ALL SAINTS DAY still commerated annually for Nov. 1.
lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

While your fine poem, THE SEARCH offers many lines copping the lingo of religious beliefs and somewhat tries to offer both differences for these timeless fervors and renditions pertaining to the topic, it is with delight when one encounters the final lines as being the best of this creative, rhyming, poetry genre item.

Good luck in all these poetic onquests.

Cordially, TEFF

{immage:1317798}
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Review of The Initiation  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)

OCT. 30, 2008

Hello there Lonewolf and welcome to W.C. Your story THE INTIATION carries some twist in the tale type plotlines. These are actuallu rarities onsite. Referring to Mick's expectations before his final refusal.

Perhaps this story which you take time and generosity to list on Auto-Rewards, is in a contest, so the purpose of this review is not to lower your ratings for these fine endeavors.

HOWEVER, while reading along notice at the end where you chose your vocab wisely.

At: 'reinforced wood' & 'renewed strength'

HOWEVER: much can be duly shortened. For not allowed --- try forbidden

wasn't strong enough === weak

made sure -- in this case try determined

his eyes looking down --- downcast

Simple things to consider for the next edit to spice up the piece. Also when we labor under words counts an author-to-author hint runs as follows. Think of the stroy lines as filling in a crossword puzzle with the exact word you need to get the job done, especially if the aim is a bit of flare.

Best luck in all your writing and enjoy the site.

Cordially: TEFF "Invalid Item" 
Writing for "Invalid Item" 

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Review of Drought  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (4.5)

Oct 27, 2008

Shall seriously check out the 'aforementioned contest' Roseee includes in her intro for a way way low word count essay.

DROUGHT is a totally concise story, is it not? What a challenge not to even repeat the article "a" in less than 101 words. Nice posting & an informative write.

Welcome to http://www.writing.com.

Check us out if you're in need of almost 100 new friends.

Cordially, TEFF

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#1323687 by Not Available.
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Review of Home and Garden  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (4.0)

"At issue in HOME AND GARDEN, a short story from the portfolio of http://www.writing.com author, D Field comes fears for an illness, attached to a professor. Accompanied by his wife, Tess waiting, then bording a "medical bus" the man reflects on his lifetime of reading "the papers" and a carefree enjoyment of same. Well, done and seriously spiced with fabulous vocab." "Invalid Item"  April Sunday Oct 19, 2008
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Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (3.5)

Oct 6, 2008
Hi NickiD89,

Reading over your two prompts from the list for the two separate stories you seek in the contest WHO ARE THEY AND WHAT'S THEIR STORY kinda threw this reviewer/ author at first.

On second read, you actually instruct writers to detail charater foibiles, traits, add the conflict of a discovery, and a resolution to stop thinking about the basic problem [found out proabably in at least a paragraph or two on the sneak in a clandestine manner] --- all in under 2000 words. Strongly suggest giving generously to authors by allowing them more space wordwise to work with for the requierements stated. Even 4,000 words is only four single-line, typed pages, easily read in a few minutes, right, Nicki?

Surely, as host, contest judge you're setting aside ooodles of your own time.

Next the rule prompts then ask the writers of the short stories to do the same thing, but change Bobby to Bobbi. A guy then a gal -- do all of the above in merely 1000 words or less. Yikes! Often flash fiction comes with flat stories, then raters even say so. But be that as it may ... longer stories could better fill the bill. Since, setting is important, too.

Prizes are adequate for those who like this kind of thing. When counting words interferes with a story of worth, this author bows out.

However, good luck to all takers, may your submissions fair thee well. While Nicki enjoys reading and reviewing with a honorable stated emphasis on grammar and punctuation surrounding all submissions to be judged.

Lastly ... depending on the discovery per se, we are not divided at once by gender by any means. Like, I might react the same way to finding out through research by simply reading Wikepedia, just say for the sake of argument, that S. Palin is under investigation in Alaska. The same reaction I have to this newsy tidbit, might be the same as a male voter.

Well, Nicki, if your intention is to separate the reactions of adults or any mature authors by gender, might we not be headed back in time to George Sands who had to take a man's name in order to be published? Oh, well just a sideline point, a POV if you will.

Signed -- Surprised
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Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (4.0)
October 1, 2008
Hi, Dan

Without a doubt ANOTHER BUTTERFLY EFFECT, a poem from BOTTLE IN THE RIVER, your poetry collection of 71 poems is another well thought out addition.

Of tress and stound, I for one must look these poetic words up. Freeing a creature is fun and oft times a rewarding event. Here you show that for the first person narrator. Yet also include the chagrin of the spider. Nice touch. Rather a basic event rendered heartwarmming in the telling.

However, can't see a connection to Spiritual Genre.

Cordially: TEFF

SOUL CAFE ANTHOLOGY c/1994/1999  (18+)
Early poems written in my college days & for Soul Cafe, a read aloud poetry group.
#983036 by April Sunday
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Review of Parallax  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (4.5)

"Apparently, Mr. Dan Sturn is taking a firm hold of Auto Rewards this week on http://www.writing.com by posting his three poetry folders there. Inside the well crafted, excellent rhyming poetry creation: PARALLAX we read of a gang traveling a railroad tracks, imbibing cognac, and the demise of a stranger. Well done!" April Sunday "Invalid Item" 
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Review of Journatation  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (4.5)

"Dan Stern offers JOURNATION a poem about a writer meeting and greeting morning while recording in a journal. The coined title word, Journation is far from the only astonishing thing contained in this poem. The lines and word twists here are sufficiently poetic and rhyme time comes with a vivid cadence of sound and sight approaching insight." {uesr:teffom}
"Invalid Item" 
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Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (4.0)

"Author, Dragon Blue of http://www.writing.com is posting a prose novel this month on Auto Rewards p. 1. The story enfolds piece by piece and each addition leads one further into the tale. The words and setting are reminicsent of Celtic Days of yore when witchcraft and belief in same were rampart upon the Earth, as we could not now know it to be. Suggest this item for all who've a ken for this genre." Sept 21, 2008/ April Sunday "Invalid Item" 

THANKS, BLUE!
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Review of We Knew  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (4.0)

"Passionate writing enfolds in WE KNEW by Dogwood 212. In the piece there are slashed backs, tattered glothing, an unknown suspect along a quiet trail of escape. The piece offers deep imaginative shadows which the author does not outright explain. Perhaps thoughts of this writer are too painful to embrace, whether from history or from fiction itself, yet these questions may linger in the minds of readers." Sept 19, 2008,
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#952447 by Not Available.
April Sunday
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Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (5.0)

"Reading this poetry collection, it comes as no surprise that Chapter 26: MOON TIMES from the portfolio of Dragon Blue is another crowd pleaser. This poetic epic reminds this reviwer of Celtic countrysides when as Dragon Blue puts it "magick" was thought to be everywhere surrounding mankind. Maybe it still is within our grasp, the beliefs of yore. Which without a doubt makes the fantasy writing of this author come alive." Sept 19, 2008, "Invalid Item"  tefffom
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Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (5.0)

Sept 19, 2008

 Dragon Blue presents Chapter 27: PREPARING FOR TARA on Auto Rewards, page one.

This poem, part of a novel rings with grace, effectively delivered with each stanza. Presentation is in bold and the entire piece allows a dream like quality when readers may relect "betwixt and bewteen the lines."

Dragon Blue is a very talented, imaginative and artistic member of http://www.writing.com's community of artists, readers and authors.

Thanks, Blue, you are setting the pace throughout with this one.

Cordially, TEFF of "Invalid Item" 

Comments welcome and readers at the blog:

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#952447 by Not Available.
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Review by April Sunday
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Sept 17, 2008



Hi Critic,

Must have missed the Jessibelle Challenge but that's okay. I found this poem below listed my blog:
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#952447 by Not Available.


read it, liked it and now wanted to send out a public word.

I ACCEPTED JESSIBELLE'S DARE is all about the seated US President who hails from Yale, who supports the troops and whom for the last eight years has been taken to task in this poem.

Along the lines of a presidential term sum for the earlier years from this 2005 copyright we discover a verse by verse rhyme measuring into a tell-all. The poem is also a be-all and centers on an unhopeful who according to this author "wears expensive suits." There is so much here that this is awfully good and certainly worth the look see for all readers and all voters, of course.

Critic you daringly pulled this together and did a Great JOB!

Cordially, TEFF
"Invalid Item" 
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Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (5.0)

September 16, 2008

 Oh, good morning Blue, dear.

So glad to see you are posting your prose collection on Auto Rewards.

Five Star rhymes without a doubt.

Especially centered on LILITH since there was a particular amount of research from this desk on this ancient yet questionable mythical goddess. Well, between you and me, Blue Dragon, my story ended up nearly 6,000 words. Not posted here.

Of: Chapter 25, particulary like the feel of being outdoors in a different place than our everyday norm. You seem to write of a dream world from your deep imagination. No easy feat.

Like: "Clothe of silk, cotton and wool
Sold by a crafter seller."

Like the use of "baubles" a word we generally don't see everyday but which completely fits here.

Presentation rings, stanzas tell the tale. Keep up the good work.

Wow! *Heart* the vocab in this one.

Cordially, TEFF
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