Hello! In my opinion, it would be nice if the plot was more complicated. Even for a Halloween story, I think that it is not quite enough to have somebody killed by somebody else - as a reader, I would like to have more substance and imagination. And, really, spell-check is so easy - please do it! Good luck!
This is a good beginning of a story - intriguing, scary, but not threatenint. Also quite imaginative. The dialog has a natural flow, and I liked the name of the girl - Rose Black. Keep writing - it would be interesting to see where the plot leads.
Very good and clear statement of what you would like to see in a boyfriend - also very realistic and mature for a young person. I only have two questions: why is he a fallen angel? And what maked the author think she'ss never have one?
Very true description of a loss. When the wound is new, everything reminds of it - the feeling of pervasive grief was very well captured in this piece. It reads like a poem. Good writing!
Beautiful images of life and death, and intersting use of colors - white and black for life, green for death. But why is the movie of life silent? Thank you for the poem - write on!
This is a very good writing. Both the form and the spirit of sonets were followed. I liked the beautiful verse, and the noble feelings expressed. It even had the flavor of old-time literature in the words chosen by the author, especially the last two lines. Good luck in the contest!
I loved this piece. Maybe because I love rain - or, maybe because it was so well written. I like good precise language. I come from a country where rain was a given. I live in a place where rain hardly ever happens. When it does, it is a blessing. But this is not about my emotions - it is about your writing. It was really good. The relation of the rain to different phases of the narrator's life. I could feel it. Thank you.
This sounded very true to me. The frankness of this piece was painful. My take on it: it is about love - and submission - and hopelessness. The attitude of the protagonist was expressed in very credible details.
This sounds like a true story written by a very strong person. It was very empowering - the author seemed to be able to overcome all the piling problems and to understand the real value of life - human relationship. Keep up the good spirit!
I liked the poem. It was very descriptive - the author let the reader understand it. And it was very full of feelings and images. I could feel the heat of the night, and those distant voices. I especially liked the part about smoking - somehow, it showed more than other desctiptive means the longing and the solitude. Thank you for the poem!
I liked your poem. You wonderfully described the difficulties of the first day in new school, and how diffictult it is to get new friends. The second part was good, too - but did the person have to die?
Thank you for directing my attention to this story. It was very inspirational. I love reading about outstanding women, and this one mande me think about the women who shaped my life.
Well, you know what? I did not understand what the secret was about, and I am disappointed. I don't think the readers should be made to guess too much. Was he a werewolf? A nightingale? An extraterrestrial? Or just a good singer to complement his nice gentlemanly manners? All these seem to be interesting solutions, but I would like to learn about them from the writer. I liked the warm and engaging pace of the story - it was almost like a letter to the loved one. But please, make the plot clearer.
Very entertaining story. Some phrases really were funny. I especially liked the following: "Men are like public transportation, available to all who are willing to wait" and "how great our clothes were and more importantly how fantastic our bodies looked in them." Too bad the author did not explain about the fish. I heard it somewhere, maybe I did not understand it because I come from another culture? Thank you for the fun!
This was a nice little piece. Actually, quite amazing - in this little space the author managed to tell all about a life full of events and feelings, and even added the light of hope! I am quite impressed. This will make me feel good today.
I liked the story. It was a good piece of horror fiction. The language was quite vivid - I could almost see the baby werewolf crawling out. However, I felt a little bit confused about the dialogue. It seems that by the time the water broke, it was already late to talk about whether having the child was a good or bad idea. I am not sure about the connotations implied in the "I will love taking care of this child" sentence. It was smart, but for me it made the whole item shift from horror to some kind of black humor. In either case, the idea was original and shocking. Good writing!
I think that the idea of the story was interesting: Russian president, the big political issue, and a young attractive admirer.
Unfortunately, the story had a lot of spelling errors, and also some funny Russian language related mistakes. The latter, of course, would only be noticed by the people who speak Russian.
Here are some places that I feel need work. To his <I>beed</I>, there was always some mistrust to be taken in everyone. What is <I>beed</I>?
She wasn't <I>looking</I> in their eyes but she knew that she was <I>looking</I> at them all right. Ivanov <I>looked</I> at his close friend, - too much looking!
Tovarisch Prezidyent – they don’t address each other like that in Russia any more.
The physical fight with the President in the Kremlin seems highly improbable.
It sounds very strange to a Russian ear that the hero is called by her last name all the time – Mikhailova. People don’t call each other by family name when they are familiar.
Most of the Russian names here are somehow distorted.
Ludya should be Lyuda.
Viktoriya Ivanovicha – should be Viktoriya Ivanovna.
“Tovarishch with Gospazha” – Gospazha is feminine, the President would be Gospodin.
Please, keep this in mind. When you write about other cultures, it is very important not to distort names, because it makes your writing funny and not credible.
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