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221 Public Reviews Given
239 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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51
51
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I agree with everything you said! Why? Because I know you know and understand a lot of things that we site members do not, and to lash out an opinion like that is a very important thing for all of us... I respect everything you believe because I know it will be for the betterment of this community.

I hope that author who wrote the malicious editorial regarding WDC now clearly understands the real score about the gp system. He should admit to the public that he is very wrong!
52
52
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks for the very complete information! More power!!!
53
53
Review of Baseball Season  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Great job! You really captured a moment in time quite perfectly.
54
54
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Balloon1*CONGRATULATIONS!!! Your article has been chosen by the super-reviewer, Spiral Kinetochore!*Balloon1*


Hi! This is you friend K'neto, your friend and ever-supportive reviewer, with a very honest and in-depth feedback for your piece.

Great job! Yours is a promising read! Well-written especially for an opening part! Your piece had a twang of magnet in it... I was drawn to the events, and questions kept flooding in my mind... I hope these questions would help in gaining the interest of other readers as well.

Here are my suggestions and comments:

*Note1* You forgot to indent this one. > That’s cool. I’ll wait him out. No problem.

*Note1* Revising this sentence; too much of "by" > Time ticks by more slowly by the second.

*Note1* Name misspelt > “Sit down, Jonathon. Please.”

*Question* Why did he keep his pen and pad if he would ask a couple more? > Alright then, just a couple more questions.” He tucks his pen and notepad in his labcoat. “Are you still suicidal?”

*Note1* You used "smile" twice. > Again, Dr. Macabee smiles his smile, heckling me with it.

*Question* Is the misspelt name intentional? > “Here is the deal, Jonathon.

*Note1* You forgot the apostrophe for possession. > Oh, and by the way, Jack, your zippers undone.”

*Note1* Seems forced to me, the dialogue, that is. > “There’s no mirror.”
- I mean, he is a guy, so why would he be so conscious of his own reflection? Unless you stated before that he is fond of looking at his face... or he's obsessed with mirrors or something.

I'd be looking forward to reading the rest of your novel. You have an intersting concept here and I'd be dying to know how the storyline would all sum up.

By the way, your knack of clipping things in the story by means of phrases and words, makes the story fast-paced and a bit exciting. Maybe, at times, confusing, but it's still ok with me. It gets pretty easy to adjust to your style as the story goes on.

Keep on writing, and I'll keep on reviewing!

This has been K'neto, now spiralling down on your port. *Smile*

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

Visit my domain, and unleash the meerkat in you.
http://lourland.blogspot.com

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55
55
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Balloon1*CONGRATULATIONS!!! Your article has been chosen by the super-reviewer, Spiral Kinetochore!*Balloon1*


Hi! This is you friend K'neto, your friend and ever-supportive reviewer, with a very honest and in-depth feedback for your piece.

This piece is very fluid, wonderfully written... with ease yet graceful... with strength but gentle... I'd recommend it to anybody out there... This is such an honest write-up on the real sense of marriage in your point-of-view. And you made it sound authoritative, and I won't be surprised to see many nodding heads in the crowd.

Hmmm... it seems perfect to me, but I noticed some raters gave it a lower score... well, perhaps, there is, after all, something missing in your piece. Did you remember the first thing you mentioned? (but of course you do) Maybe some of the readers wondered where the gentleman is in the end... I mean who is he? You didn't include his identity (but of course, it's your choice)... I'd like to think this gentleman you were referring to was to be your husband in the end. Wow. How sweet.

Keep on writing, and I'll keep on reviewing!

This has been K'neto, now spiralling down on your port. *Smile*

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

Visit my domain, and unleash the meerkat in you.
http://lourland.blogspot.com

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56
56
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks Storymaster! You did a great job of putting together a shameless plug page!!!

Visit my domain, and unleash the meerkat in you.
http://lourland.blogspot.com

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57
57
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloon1*CONGRATULATIONS!!! Your article has been chosen by the super-reviewer, Spiral Kinetochore!*Balloon1*


Hi! This is you friend K'neto, your friend and ever-supportive reviewer, with a very honest and in-depth feedback for your piece.

This is such a lovely piece! Lovely and sad at the same time. I'm trying my best not to pity the woman in the poem because I think it has a fighting spirit beneath it all. The poem told of the evil of the disease but tried to ignore the own feelings of the patient. But of course, it's understandable and certainly needed in the story because the woman didn't know what had hit her. Well, I just wanted to share my thoughts. Don't mind me.

*Bullet* Regarding the title, I suggest revising it into "Lupus, The Uninvited Guest" ...I guess it's not too far from the original one*Bigsmile*

*Question* Did you mean "its"? > Restraining it's prey; It celebrated it's victory,

In a nutshell, you did great on this! I suppose the lady in this poem is you. And that's very sad, especially when I come to think of it... But I believe in your strength and faith. I know you'll make it through... with God's help. Good luck! Best wishes to your health!

Keep on writing, and I'll keep on reviewing!

This has been K'neto, now spiralling down on your port. *Smile*

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

Visit my domain, and unleash the meerkat in you.
http://lourland.blogspot.com

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
58
58
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloon1*CONGRATULATIONS!!! Your article has been chosen by the super-reviewer, Spiral Kinetochore!*Balloon1*


Hi! This is you friend K'neto, your friend and ever-supportive reviewer, with a very honest and in-depth feedback for your piece.

Your article here is a gem. I really loved how you told it simply in a story-type account. It is never boring in any parts, and there is a lingering scent which tells you to read the rest of the long account of your life.

However, a gem can have a few scratches in it:

*Note1* I believe these are two sentences. > The Savonnerie was an old-fashioned company, where there was a job for everyone, the sons, brothers, daughters, nieces and nephews, everyone who wanted to work could find his/her place at the Savonnerie.

*Note1* "products" > They transported wine, cereals, and many other alimentary product.

*Note1* This is a long sentence. > They went here and there, they were young, hard working, barely needed sleep, two or three hours a night at the most, they knew France on the back of their hand, every little truckers' cafe, restaurant, every sharp corner, every steep hill...
- "hands"

*Idea* In my opinion, this turned out awkward because the next statement mentioned "difficult" > Driving a truck in the sixties and seventies was not easy.
- I suggest you use another expression for "easy," like "piece of cake."

*Note1* There are two "waits" here. > My mother would pass on her worries to us as she did not want to sleep alone, did not want to eat, or smile, just stand here and wait, wait and worry.

*Note1* This one is in the present tense. > What strikes me the most when I remember these times, is the distance that existed between the drivers and their wives.

*Note1* Hmmm... I noticed your style of listing down events and situations in a single statement and separated by commas... not bad. In fact, I like your style.

Wow! I liked the conclusion. Your story was told in a nice and heartwarming manner. Two-thumbs up!

In a nutshell, this piece is A-awesome! With a few errors, I gave it a 4.5. Tell me when you've done any changes, so I can give you your perfect score.

Keep on writing, and I'll keep on reviewing!

This has been K'neto, now spiralling down on your port. *Smile*

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
59
59
Review of The Ring  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloon1*CONGRATULATIONS!!! Your article has been chosen by the super-reviewer, Spiral Kinetochore!*Balloon1*


Hi! This is you friend K'neto, your friend and ever-supportive reviewer, with a very honest and in-depth feedback for your piece.

What a nice story! I love the part wherein you stated that they were already married for forty years. For me, that is the true miracle in the story. Nowadays, one month of marriage is hell; thus, divorce.

I was only confused as to how did she lose the ring. It wasn't quite clear if it directly slipped into the ocean or into a storage tank or somewhere.

Please bear with me. But I do really love your writing style. It leaves a mark.

Keep on writing, and I'll keep on reviewing!

This has been K'neto, now spiralling down on your port. *Smile*

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
60
60
Review of My Lover's Hands  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Balloon1*CONGRATULATIONS!!! Your article has been chosen by the super-reviewer, Spiral Kinetochore!*Balloon1*


Hi! This is you friend K'neto, your friend and ever-supportive reviewer, with a very honest and in-depth feedback for your piece.

Your piece here is something that should be in public. Even if it entails something 'bout your private life, don't be shy. A few poets write about topics or events which they don't experience at all. And you don't have to explain to us that this poem is all about your life. How're we gonna know if you wouldn't tell us? But you told us, anyway. *Bigsmile* With this, I suggest you write a description fitting to the poem itself. (By the way, you made a typographical error on "public.")

However, a few errors I would like to point out to you:

*Note1* Add an apostrophe for possession. > My lovers hands are warm and strong,

*Note1* You may need to revise this one... It turns out redundant because you have used "touched" in the next line. > I need to feel them, touching, tender.

In a nutshell, your poem is every entertaining. You did a great job of putting it together seasmlessly.

Keep on writing, and I'll keep on reviewing!

This has been K'neto, now spiralling down on your port. *Smile*

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
61
61
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Balloon1*CONGRATULATIONS!!! Your article has been chosen by the super-reviewer, Spiral Kinetochore!*Balloon1*


Hi! This is you friend K'neto, your friend and ever-supportive reviewer, with a very honest and in-depth feedback for your piece.

I liked your work! The fact that it was written in all honesty and sincerity made it a good poem. It was not written dirtily... and its erotica is a very funny way, indeed, of putting it into words.

The rhyming was minimal, but well-executed. Like magic dust sprinkled along its span and creating a magic trail in the reader's aftertaste.

Keep on writing, and I'll keep on reviewing!

This has been K'neto, now spiralling down on your port. *Smile*

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
62
62
Review of Hoosh-hoosh??  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Balloon1*CONGRATULATIONS!!! Your article has been chosen by the super-reviewer, Spiral Kinetochore!*Balloon1*


Hi! This is you friend K'neto, your friend and ever-supportive reviewer, with a very honest and in-depth feedback for your piece.

What a very cute poem! In my opinion, it deserves a 5-star rating because it entertained the child in me! I suggest you include "Children's" to its genre.

I think the main reason why most people rated it 4.5 instead of a perfect one is because they think it is such a shallow subject to talk of in a poem. Imagine writing about a cat being shooed away? But for me, shallow or not shallow, if it deserves, then it does.

I only have one thing in mind: Shouldn't "A" be in lowercase? > I’m not A Cat.

Keep on writing, and I'll keep on reviewing!

This has been K'neto, now spiralling down on your port. *Smile*

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
63
63
Review of Beach Scene  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Balloon1*CONGRATULATIONS!!! Your article has been chosen by the super-reviewer, Spiral Kinetochore!*Balloon1*


Hi! This is you friend K'neto, your friend and ever-supportive reviewer, with a very honest and in-depth feedback for your piece.

Your piece is a lovely one!

Actually, I was quite lost in the rhyming of the words... The meter was uneven, and long... But I was stunned by your intelligent use of alliteration for most of the lines. If a poem were a painting, then you painted vividly with all the possible colors of your palette... And you made us, your spectators gaping in awe.

Keep on writing, and I'll keep on reviewing!

This has been K'neto, now spiralling down on your port. *Smile*

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
64
64
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Balloon1*CONGRATULATIONS!!! Your article has been chosen by the super-reviewer, Spiral Kinetochore!*Balloon1*


Hi! This is you friend K'neto, your friend and ever-supportive reviewer, with a very honest and in-depth feedback for your piece.

This is an interesting read! I am glad you're coming out with your own book... Good Luck!!!

These are a few suggestions I would like to point out:

*Note1* This is supposed to be "yours" > But your's is destroying me.

*Note1* You can kick out the second comma in the line > Than some kind of emotional, overdue, bill.

*Note1* You can put "my" and "self" together > I've got to mean more for my self

Keep on writing, and I'll keep on reviewing!

This has been K'neto, now spiralling down on your port. *Smile*

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
65
65
Review of The Knife  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Balloon1*CONGRATULATIONS!!! Your article has been chosen by the super-reviewer, Spiral Kinetochore!*Balloon1*


Hi! This is you friend K'neto, your friend and ever-supportive reviewer, with a very honest and in-depth feedback for your piece.

WOW! This is an interesting treat... you should start working on it... it's a nice idea to have an unseen force try to control your mind. Well, this has been done a few times already, but it's worth a try for your own style, right?

I know it's not yet buffed so I gave it a 4.5... I like to read it when it's finished, so do tell me when it is.

Well, these are my suggestions:

*Question* Why is it entitled the knife? Does anything significant resemble with the knife's presence? By the looks of it though, the Thought is more of a central icon than the knife. I hope you're getting my point.

*Idea* There is an evil Thought, so I think there are more things other than the knife that he wants the main character to use. Maybe urge him to do revenge... things he doesn't want to do in the first place, but later is convinced because of past grudges or previous disagreements with friends or anyone close to him. And he ends up feeling sorry for the horrible things he has done... and finds a way to stop the Thought. Or maybe in the end, it may seem that he has ended it all but the voice suddenly booms inside his mind again. Sorta being born with it, no matter how he wants to escape from it.

Well, you asked for suggestions, so there they are... But the choice is yours... You hold the pen... You control your story... Good luck!

Keep on writing, and I'll keep on reviewing!

This has been K'neto, now spiralling down on your port. *Smile*

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
66
66
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Balloon1*CONGRATULATIONS!!! Your article has been chosen by the super-reviewer, Spiral Kinetochore!*Balloon1*


Hi! This is you friend K'neto, your friend and ever-supportive reviewer, with a very honest and in-depth feedback for your piece.

A big WOW for your first chapter!!! way to go!!! I haven't read anything like this before, and discovering the magic of this type of genre, makes me crave for more!!!

You did a great job developing the characters along the course of the story. I loved how you made their contrasts... but how compatible they are when they are together, and up to some mischief!

*Idea* I suggest that in the middle of your novel, you put them in a rivalry situation because of a man they both loved. That may be exciting.

Keep on writing, and I'll keep on reviewing!

This has been K'neto, now spiralling down on your port. *Smile*

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
67
67
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Balloon1*CONGRATULATIONS!!! Your article has been chosen by the super-reviewer, Spiral Kinetochore!*Balloon1*


Hi! This is you friend K'neto, your friend and ever-supportive reviewer, with a very honest and in-depth feedback for your piece.

Your poem was a convincing read. It flowed with grace as you narrated all the events which led to the tragedy.

however, there are some points i would like to suggest:

*Idea* using "hollered" instead of "hollering" in the line >
hollering over the same thunder.
- i just thought it better if the three action words were parallelized... but don't worry the rest of the -ing action words you made use are okay as they are.

*Idea* using "you'd" (you would) instead of "you'll" in the line >
as you'll have wanted us to go on, so we shall

By the way, I don't actually know anything about the Key Largo Event, I was just wondering if it were like an expedition of sorts, using bikes?

In a nutshell, your words are arrows to the heart; they strike the intended emotion perfectly. You did a great job!

Keep on writing, and I'll keep on reviewing!

This has been K'neto, now spiralling down on your port. *Smile*

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
68
68
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hmm... I especially liked the first item: If a piece has a bunch of 5.0 ratings, even though I might find a mistake here and there, I feel obligated to rate it 5.0 stars, too.

Actually, this applies to other ratings as well, no? I mean, I often wonder why other people base their own ratings with past stars for the article. Like, say for example the past rating is 3 stars, then you should give out 3.5 or 2.5 as long as it's near 3 stars. It's like they are just creating a pattern of stereotyping for the piece. And that's the most horrible thought that comes to my mind whenever ratings are considered. Every writer has the right to an honest and responsible feedback.

This has been K'neto, now spiralling down on your port. *Smile*
69
69
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like this article of yours. It gave me a different perspective when giving out my feedbacks especially in public. I appreciate writers like you who continue to inspire fellow writers to spread out the reviewing virus. I, for that matter, had caught it myslef, since I first signed up in Writing.Com.

Hoping for more articles like these, I wish you a happy day!

This has been K'neto, now spiralling down on your port. *Smile*
70
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Review of Comment-In-A-Box  
Rated: E | (5.0)
As usual, your article here is a great help especially for a super-reviewer like me. LOL.

Thanks for giving out information like this. They are must-reads for writers, whatever color his portfolio may be.

This has been K'neto, now spiralling down on your port. *Smile*
71
71
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Storymistress,

I have just read this article of yours and I am now very well enlightened about the ins and outs of reviewing... well sort of, because, of course there's always room for improvement.

I am an avid reviewer, and when I see something interesting, or in need of my review, I give all that I can to help that person. Sadly, I'm not yet in the process of giving out my gps for deserving reviewers because I haven't got the gift points to start with.

This has been K'neto, now spiralling down on your port. *Smile*
72
72
Review of The Review Mixer  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Storymaster,

Here I am again thanking you for the bunchful of gps i have received from you because of my efforts to review every article I see interesting or in need of my opinion. I am one of the thousands of writers benefiting from your projects, and i am also thankful there are people like you who continue to inspire us to spread the reviewing virus.

This has been K'neto, now spiralling down on your port. *Smile*
73
73
Rated: E | (5.0)
dear storymaster,

this project of yours really motivates avid reviewers like me to really sweat on our reviews... thanks a whole lot for the many, many gps i have received from you!!!

by the way, i just learned one of your contests entitled "good deeds," and i am really getting psyched to win... actually, i've already done a handful of in-depth and constructive reviews for prose and poetry alike because i really like helping my fellow writers. so this opportunity to win through reviewing, i can never miss!

This has been K'neto, now spiralling down on your port. *Smile*
74
74
Rated: E | (4.5)
an interesting topic to touch on...

just a few errors:

*you misspelled madness

*you didn't capitalize the first word:
from the cage the owner brings

but over-all, it is a well-written piece.

my favorite lines:

It's learned the bars don't move
in it's dull and pointless life.

for me, this means it has learned his limitations in life, and he has accepted them no matter the cost.

write on! ^_^ K'neto.
75
75
Review of My talk with God  
Rated: E | (5.0)
what a wonderful poem-cum-prayer!

you missed out a typographical error, should be surviving: suriving as I've always done

my favorite lines:

Having always been able to
hold my head higher than the rest
I find it difficult to stop and stand
to not always be the best.

it's very humble to admit those things to God. *smiles*

happy writing! K'neto.
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