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276
276
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
I am reviewing your story as a judge for
SURVEY
What a Character! : Official WDC Contest  (E)
Create a memorable character using the given prompt for huge prizes!
#1679316 by Writing.Com Support
.
Thank you for entering!



This story definitely followed the prompt someone about to commit a serious crime at Santa's work shop. I must say threatening to potentially kill a child is a serious crime.

There was a character, a man with a Tek-9 under his jacket. He seemed non-nonchalant about the whole, "killing a kid" thing. Even Santa had a difficult time wrapping his mind around it not being some kind of joke. However, it is written under the "Comedy" genre. So, figured the set-up would play out all the way to the punchline. I do enjoy comedy, and parts of this story had its humorous moments, but there also seemed to be something missing in the whole delivery of it.

Observations:

He looked around, trying to see if they were gone. Had it worked? Was he truly in control?
Just then, he looked around and saw that a small boy was standing behind him, looking like he wanted candy. There's a whole lot of "looking going on, here. Perhaps tighten up this paragraph to knock out the repetitiveness of similar phrases and/words.

“For your gift?” siad [said] Santa.

Additional Observations:

It would be advantageous for your reader if you clicked a couple spaces between paragraphs. It makes it much easier to read on WDC, breaking up the format so it doesn't look like a wall of words with nothing to break it up.

It may just be me, although I reread this story and still, it seems to be a little disconnected. It's difficult to tie up the scenes neatly in my mind. Santa,the murderous suspect, the intended killing of a child? The FBI question Santa under the word of an anonymous reporting about him? I'm still trying to untwist some of these events.

My thoughts, most likely a futuristic scenario where things can be done electronically without need for Santa to be at any workshop where children would need to stand in line. Still having a problem grasping the true context for the kid-killing, whether for real or part of a game, play, prank, etc.


Parting Thoughts:

A bit more editing taking into consideration things discussed above, writing tighter and streamlining your story making it flow better.

Conclusion:

There were a couple amusing parts in the story. Mrs. Claus enters the interrogation room. Although there seemed to be some tense moments with a crime about to take place and children all around with their parents, the ending was a bit jolly, and a sort of "Gotcha" from Santa realizing the agent was curious about his gift.

Perhaps this was the reason they took Santa aside -- to question him about their desired gift for Christmas while the other guy was playing a part to cover up what they were doing.

It has some interesting potential, though! *Bigsmile*


Until next time--write on! And, good luck with the contest! *Bigsmile*

This is "The WDC Angel Army"  Review!
*Witchlegs1*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
277
277
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello there, Anna Marie Carlson
I am reviewing your story as a judge for
SURVEY
What a Character! : Official WDC Contest  (E)
Create a memorable character using the given prompt for huge prizes!
#1679316 by Writing.Com Support
.
Thank you for entering!

Initial Impressions:

This was definitely about an interesting character. He was a stranger to town and gave the townspeople a weird feeling whenever he was around them. They couldn't quite put their finger on it, but it was definitely an uncomfortable feeling. His name is Lyon Coldstone; (A play on the name -- Stone Cold. *Wink*)

Turns out, they were right to mistrust this character. He had a plan to ruin Christmas by stealing away all the gifts that were to be delivered from Santa's workshop. I like that the town pulled together to help bring back the joy of Christmas.

Other Characters:
Emelina, a Caring individual who was determined to help make Deserae's Christmas special. Deserae is a special needs child and was happy to be a friend of Emelina.

Emilina found a storage area that was filled toys and the town quickly retrieved them and delivered them to the children.


Observations:


ColdStone OR Coldstone? I think capitalizing the "S" on stone is not necessary and not grammatically correct, since it's not a name with a Mac or Mc , etc,where the start of both are capitalized. The name should be capitalized at the start not at start and in the middle of the name if it's to be believed that this character is regular guy not some character of a character, like WebWitch.*Laugh*

Also, you do spell it once or twice as Coldstone without the second capitalization. I realize you want the reader to get the "Stone Cold" emphasis, but it was not hard to decipher. *Wink*

There are a few spots that could have been tightened-up a little in sentence formations.

Parting Thoughts:

You followed the prompt handily. The story had a lot of heart and love woven within. It sounded like a beautiful place to live, especially at the holidays.

Nice job! *Smile*



Until next time--write on! And, good luck with the contest! *Bigsmile*

This is "The WDC Angel Army"  Review!
*Witchlegs1*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
278
278
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello there, THANKFUL SONALI Now What?
I am reviewing your story as a judge for
SURVEY
What a Character! : Official WDC Contest  (E)
Create a memorable character using the given prompt for huge prizes!
#1679316 by Writing.Com Support
.
Thank you for entering!

I love that your story puts the love and caring back into the whole Santa scenario filled with commercialism.

The Character:

Easter Bunny, I'm shocked to report is the culprit who committed a serious crime at Santa's workshop. The toys had been meddled with so as to make them unworkable and to make the children sad at Christmas. After all, he never got the attention he needed while growing up, thus others do not deserve the attention that is given to them.

Further Thoughts:

The Bunny did have a conscience as he pleaded guilty and avoided a trial. He was on TV, though, which gave him some attention, albeit as an infamous destroyer of holiday happiness.

Saving Grace:

Mrs. Claus is quite the generous, loving spirit. she knew that offering kindness would do more than punishment of the Bunny. She understood his need for love and attention, and invited him to a New Year's party.

This changed his life for the better, and he would never cause trouble for the children by messing with Christmas, again!

Nicely penned. Great Children's story, too!


Until next time--write on! And, good luck with the contest! *Bigsmile*

This is "The WDC Angel Army"  Review!
*Witchlegs1*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
279
279
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello there, LightinMind
I am reviewing your story as a judge for
SURVEY
What a Character! : Official WDC Contest  (E)
Create a memorable character using the given prompt for huge prizes!
#1679316 by Writing.Com Support
.
Thank you for entering!


First Impressions:

Your title and brief description grabbed my attention. Words like "last elf" and "global conspiracy" which involves Santa Claus, made me anxious to read what was before me.

The Character:

Legolas, a 3-foot tall, hundred year old, lab created elf. He is a likeable character who actually has a good character and pure intentions.He was pursuing the true meaning of Christmas, which was lost over the centuries as gift giving became more commercialized.

His Mission:

His intent is to destroy the AI which wiped out all the jobs of the mostly deceased elves, who took control of Santa's workshop and began its corporate manipulations of the season for greedy purposes.

Other Characters:

Clare, the human, who is a professor of genetics, and had the knowledge to fill-in the history of the creation of Santa and the elves.

Mention was made of Dobbins, a 200 year old, dead elf who was his former roommate and whom he apprenticed with during the mass marketing to be done for the holidays.

Observations:

"Clare had always been nice to him yet it was hard to be the object of someones [someone's] compassion, a harmless friend to be pitied."

I enjoyed the concept of the story, which is taking back the spirit of Christmas and its true meaning. The AI/human blend of lab creation through aborted fetuses -- a something to definitely cringe about.

There seemed to be a lot of information and details woven within which tend to bog the reader down a bit.I wonder if this could have been written a little tighter, leaving out characters that were a mere mention. Trying to keep together who created Santa, Da Vinci? Dobbins wrote the script for classic Christmas books? The thing is, I had to go back a reread some spots to get the full picture.

Parting Thoughts:

I loved that Legolas had a good friendship with Clare and would manage to be with her again. Although, the method of getting him back to Ireland was quite a big-bang! *Shock2* However, mission was completed, AI's job at Santa's work shop ended there.

All in all, quite a creative story with truth woven into it, as big corporations do take over the spirit of Christmas with their plans to convince parents to buy expensive toys to make that what Christmas is all about.

Good job!
Until next time--write on! And, good luck with the contest! *Bigsmile*

This is "The WDC Angel Army"  Review!
*Angelic*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
280
280
Review of Ryan's Gift  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello there, Aurthor
I am reviewing your story as a judge for
SURVEY
What a Character! : Official WDC Contest  (E)
Create a memorable character using the given prompt for huge prizes!
#1679316 by Writing.Com Support
.
Thank you for entering!

The Characters:

Buddy, as the mischievous, the school bully, and particularly one who despised Ryan. Ryan had everything he could want in his own life, from parents who were together and loved him and gave him a perfect homelife in Buddy's eyes. Buddy had a strained homelife with his divorced parents and bouncing from one parent to the other. Strange magic shops are involved to boo!*Wand*

Ryan:

Ryan, although bullied by Buddy, knew Buddy was acting out due to his less than desirable homelife. He even made and extra sandwich so both he and Buddy would have a decent luch that would have been stolen by Buddy, otherwise. *Ha* Ryan is the kindhearted, unselfish character in the story. It is further shown in the ending of the story.

Observation:

"...so he made sure [to] say thank you as he accepted her meticulous handiwork."

Parting Thoughts:

I loved the ending! Buddy would be taught a lesson with his Christmas gift that would be totally surprising, yet well-deserved because he wished such nastiness to be directed toward Ryan.

Santa knows -- he always knows the naughty ones from the nice ones!

Well done! *Snow5*

Until next time--write on! And, good luck with the contest! *Bigsmile*

This is "The WDC Angel Army"  Review!
*Angelic*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
281
281
Review of An Unusual Letter  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angel&Witch


Hello there, Angel
This is a "The WDC Angel Army" Review! *Angel*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our December Holiday Rush contest! *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:

The brief description got my curiosity. An unexpected place receiving an unusual letter. I had to know where this place was. *Ha*



Further Thoughts:

So much was revealed in this holiday letter, it kept the reader involved. The characters could be pictured easily, making it more real to the reader.

The letter itself was informative and thoughtful to the recipient, supposedly her husband who is away due to his work.

Of course local politics as well as those abroad, plus the Covid pandemic were discussed as 2020 was that sort of year. *Pthb*


Prompt Followed?

Yes!You chose the holiday letter prompt.

RULES FOLLOWED?

Word Count within 500? I can't say because the word count was not included. *Sob*


Parting Thoughts:

This was quite a spirited holiday letter. It packed a lot of info, but, the best was yet to come!

LOVED the surprise ending of the location where this letter was to be sent!!!

PRICELESS! *Devilish*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
282
282
Review of My 2020  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello there, The Puppet Master
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank yo for entering our December Holiday Rush prompt! *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:

I enjoyed your holiday letter. It was uplifting to read. 2020 could be a complete downer so far as the inconveniences, lock-downs and a Covid scare-level beyond that of the haunts you performed in at the church's haunted house. However, that sounds like lots of fun to be a part of! *Ha*

Further Thoughts:

Your letter is also inspirational. It was lovely reading about your mom's renewed interest in going back to church with you. Although the whole eater leak and moldy bathroom running you out of your home was not the greatest situation for you.

Observation:

" I used to do a haunt that ran from 2001-2012 and 2013-2014 before it closed."
Wouldn't that be from the years 2001-2014? Or did it stop at 2012 and start-up again a year later? Just wondering where the time-line break was.

Rules Followed?

You followed the rules handily with your choice of doing a holiday letter , plus, you added the word count.

Parting Thoughts:

Fun read! It is a mixture of faith, hope and the arts! *PaintBrush*


Good Job! *Delight*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
283
283
Review of A Ghostly Mistake  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello there, Jeannie
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our December Holiday Rush contest! *Bigsmile*

Wow, this was a unique read. *Shock2*

You chose the prompt option of receiving a "gift" meant for another that had surprising results. I must admit, the results were surprising! *Ha*

You also wove in some horror along with the possibility of a new romance budding out of the whole evil spirit, possessed doll. *Smirk*

Great way to twist the holiday theme along with chills and thrills!

You know, 2020 was scary enough with the year from hell. You managed to make it even scarier as the holidays approached!

Good job!

Happy 2021, Jeannie. *Smile*

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
284
284
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello there WakeUpAndLive️~🚬🚭2024
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our December Holiday Rush contest! *Bigsmile*

You sure hit the nail on the head about 2020 and Covid. Lives were churned-up, destroyed, heartbreak and feelings of helplessness were noted from country to country. Luckily your step-mom had you to help her out during the pandemic. It's good to know she is fine.

You followed the prompt handily, choosing to write the holiday letter prompt. It was a good twist your addressing the letter to the Corona Virus personally! *Smirk*

Many of the hardships caused by this pandemic have been addressed in your letter. Love the strong resolve at the end of the letter.

Nicely done! *Cool*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
285
285
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello there, Prosperous Snow celebrating
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
review!

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" . Thank you for entering the December Holiday Rush Prompt!

This was indeed hilarious. I loved the unapologetic holiday letter sent to friends. It was that kind of year where I believe many of us would approach a holiday letter we were writing, as well.

Funny beyond super funny -- the cause of the plumbing back-up.

Observations:

There are a few typos/punctuation issue. Nothing overly problematic, just binging your attention to them. *Wink*

"by products" I believe there should be a hyphen between these two words.

"While they are here the[y] feed the one-armed bandits..."

"The plumbers had to turn [off]the water, to the entire complex, off while the[y] worked on the drains."

*Knob* This was such a fun read! I enjoyed the zombies and the chocolate fascination, the plumbing issues and the general humor of the letter.

The letter could be fiction or non-fiction. You wrote this letter in a way to make the reader believe some of these things actually happened to you. Perhaps the plumbing issue of the guy occupying the only studio apartment in the complex sounded too real not to believe! *Laugh*

Good job following the prompt and making it a pleasure to read! *Hotair*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
286
286
Review of Gold Mining  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Angels in my Ear

I am reviewing your item in response to being tagged on the newsfeed. *HeartBroken*

First of all, I am so terribly sorry about the passing of your mother. I could feel your pain instantly as I read your words. My mom has been gone for seven years and the pain still comes back to the present whenever I'm approaching another holiday that she won't be with us. She, as well as your mother had her ways of teaching life's lessons in her own magical way. She gave me my sense of humor by finding the humor even during some of the very difficult times over her lifetime.

Your mom left you flecks of gold. That's a beautiful way to describe it. You didn't get a crash-course in gold-mining for making life's path easier. Instead, you learned about the little things that can be learned when otherwise thought of as meaningless gestures or irritating moments while growing up. Things delivered in smaller doses have a way setting-in more permanently.

I like the way you described her kindness toward others and her ability to show her family how to it's done through her actions. She was a "shower" rather than a "teller." I bet she would have been a fine writer had she chosen that path.

Observations:

IShopping You aded an "I" in front of Shopping. Not necessary, and may cause you a bit of pause when reading this. with my mother was always an adventure.

I now realize there aren’t any big nuggets, any one piece that covers all the bases. There bits and flecks everywhere. They're bits and flecks ... OR There are bits and flecks ...

Parting Thoughts:

The thing you want to remember, and believe me, I know how difficult it is during the preparations for a funeral because everything seems to become mechanical as the brain is forced out of its comfort zone and stuff needs to get done, is you want to tell the story from your heart. You want to envision your mother's flecks of gold and share them in your own voice. It doesn't need to be a formal presentation, but rather a "this is who my mom was." Show them the way she showed you.

May God bless you and yours during this difficult time. And may she keep her angelic voice in your ear whispering the love that only you can hear. It's the most beautiful thing when that happens.


*HeartB*
Webbie





An "The WDC Angel Army"  Review. *Angel*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
287
287
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angel&Witch




Hello there SandraLynn Team Florent!
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" Thank you for entering the November Turkey Limerick prompt! *Bigsmile*

Nicely done string of Limerick turkey preparation from the eyes of the guest of honor -- the bird! *Chicken*

Rules were followed *BoxCheckR*
Humor threaded throughout the strings *BoxCheckB*
Rhyme was well done *BoxCheck*

Rhythm:

I experienced a little hiccup or two along the way, more notable in the fifth verse. The syllable count worked with the rhyme lines, however the flow seemed to make me pause and have to reread it. Perhaps it's just my hearing it out loud. Might be my own tongue twisting! *Laugh*

Good job! *MugR*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
288
288
Review of In the Barrio  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Helllo there Dave's gone until 5/22/2024
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank for entering our November Turkey Limerick contest! *Bigsmile*

Style:

*NoteB*Perfect limerick style
*NoteG*Great humor
*NoteV*Rhythm and rhyme -- spot on!

Roasted with oregano, eh? *Laugh* The touch of herb made the turkey roasting aroma even greater in my mind!

The romance in the barrio, scene -- priceless! It reminded me of an old, classical Disney cartoon about Johnny Fedora and Alice Blue Bonnet, hats that spent a lot of time on the shelf in the store window. They were also sold and separated for years. The thing is, these two turkeys won't have the same memorable ending! *Laugh*

Great job!

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
289
289
Review of Turkey Trifecta  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello there Words Whirling 'Round
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" . Thank you for entering our Turkey Limerick prompt in November. *Bigsmile*

Oh, I laughed my way through this Limerick trifecta!

Each portion of turkey doom was fun to read and held its rhythm and rhyme throughout.

*Ha* Loved the choice of words, "aplomb" "cordite" used in the third presentation of turkey doom. I think that was favorite of the three. However, the buildup was great right through to the finale. *Bomb*

Good delivery in each of the trifecta portion
Humorous *BulletB*
Fun to read *BulletGr*
Rules followed *BulletO*

Lovely string of turkey limerick delight! *Web1*

Smooth in rhythm and rhyme. *Chicken*

Good job!

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
290
290
Review of Turkeys' Revenge  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello there Prosperous Snow celebrating
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" 

Thank you for entering our Turkey Limerick contest in November. *Bigsmile*

Oh, this was precious! I love the humor. These turkeys made interesting guests of honor.

It's sad that Alice's legs were charred after making the ultimate sacrifice, after all! *Laugh*

Good style *CheckP*
good humor *CheckY*
Followed the rules *CheckG*

It was fun to read and made me laugh, and that is a good thing!

Well done!

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
291
291
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello there, Kåre Enga in Montana
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
review!

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering the November Turkey Limerick contest!

I got a chuckle out of that little fellow who thinks his life is one of freedom and feed. He never did suspect that he would be the one feeding the guests that day.

*CheckO*Good Limerick style!
*CheckY*Wit and rhyme as well as syllable count, smooth.

*CheckR*You followed the contest rules.

Great job!
good luck with the contest.

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
292
292
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Angel&Witch


Hello there Scott A. Lowe Upshotscott
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!

I came across your item while perusing the poetry genre page. I liked the brief description so I popped right in. *Bigsmile*

What I liked:

I liked the philosophical tone of this poem *Thinker*
I like the idea of life being a journey, and there should always be goals in life's path. *ButtonForward*

Observations:

I wonder if English is not your first language? I could be wrong, but a few spots caught my attention. Perhaps they were mere typos and such, but here's what I noticed.


On line six:

"Like infj "*Left* I don't know which word you meant to use here.


"Influenced by your disappear."

"Live by absolute, Sounds awkward when I read it. without doubt,"

*Idea* TRY: Living by absolutes, without any doubts


Parting Thoughts:

This poem has great bones, it just needs a little more clarity so the reader fully understands what you wish for us to glean from reading it.

Conclusion:

With a few word changes this poem will shine bright and still deliver a philosophical message that will make the readers ponder their own pathway on life. *StarW*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
293
293
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello there, Paul
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I found your story while perusing the Public Review Pages. The review caught my interest. *Bigsmile*

Boy, do I understand your story like a blast from the past. I was born in the fifties, went to Catholic school and did do the hiding under the desk practice drills.

Those years ago we were always waiting for the bomb to fall. However, being surrounded by nuns, we figured Jesus would be on our side and the bomb would miss us. *Laugh*

I found it fascinating that you had such an up close and personal relationship to where the action appeared to be, at the anti-ballistic missile base close to your home. That might have made me feel doubly protected. *Ha*

Observation:

I don't walk around back there to[too] often, it's rather depressing

*Wand* You have brought back memories that made me 8 years-old again. My mind wandered to life in the fifties and the innocence we otherwise had growing up but for the imminent threat of war. I remember being scared to death in the sixties when Kruschev was banging his shoe on the podium in a threatening fashion. *Shock2*

*Piano* You know something? It was sort of a life in black and white. Our TV shows were not in color. It took a while to start them up and a while to watch them go dark after being turned off.

All in all, not a bad time for a child to grow up in, mass-hysteria not withstanding. *Peace2*


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


The Bat Owl


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294
294
Review of Haiku-rain  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello there Mina~
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your poem because I saw it while perusing the Public Review page. *Bigsmile*

I love Haikus! They are simplistic, a few lines only yet they pack images for your reader's mind's eye. Rain is a perfect part of the nature theme as it invokes so many shades of emotions depending on life's circumstances and is very subjective to one's mood. *Rain*

Observations:

"Clouds are on the sky." "on" should be changed to "in" the sky. When we speak about the sky we would say look up in the sky, if there is something to see, clouds, stars etc.

Additional Observation:

"It will be raining very soon."

*Thought* If you are following traditional Haiku, the syllable count should be 5-7-5. Here, the second line has 8 syllables. "raining" and "very" both are 2 syllable words.

*Idea* TRY: Rain will be expected soon
OR: It will be raining quite soon

There are other options that will get your point across while maintaining the traditional syllable count. These are just a couple examples. *Smile*

*UmbrellaR* Otherwise, the impending rain is something we have all thought about as our plans do depend on the weather at times. *Laugh*

Nice job! *Smile*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*

The Bat Owl



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295
295
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello there, Prosperous Snow celebrating
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!*Angelic*

*Glasses* I found your item while perusing the Public Review page. Your title and brief description drew me into wanting to read it.

*Angel*I could really relate to this poem because I've had the same sensations about her spirit being around after she passed away. I even talk to her at times and my mind perceives what she would be saying to me. Sometimes it's a simple thing like asking her to help guide me through one of her favorite recipes to be sure I don't mess it up.

Loved this expression:

"dissolving my fears
like icicles
in the morning sun"

Such a beautiful description!

"The walls
between matter and spirit
are frozen barriers
... only departed souls
easy passage.

Perfect imagery for the reader to imagine the spiritual travels of a departed loved one.

Parting Thoughts:

Mom's are love, mom's give warmth, mom's live on with us long after they've left their physical bodies.

Beautifully penned with love from a daughter's heart. *HeartP*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
296
296
Review of My Pacific  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Angel&Witch


Hello there, Mastiff!
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item because it popped up on the random review generator. *Bigsmile*

*Crown* I have spent many days penning Haikus and Senryus during the challenging contest "Game of Thrones" . It was my go-to form of poetry when we were asked to name the particular form of the poem. I'm not much of a form poetry writer thus I take the road of free verse. However, Haiku is a form I enjoy doing.

*PaintBrush* I liked the big picture that you painted with so few words. Being one who loves the ocean, appreciating its power and hidden dangers, this poem reached out to me in a profound way.

I love "the ocean rages" Indeed it does! *Shark2*
The last line of course pulls the poem together perfectly as it mentions "anger is beauty."

*Wave3* Complete portrait of the ocean's raging is tied together with winter entering the scene and the changes that come with that season.

*Wave2* I've lived by both the Atlantic and the Pacific oceans, as well as the Gulf of Mexico. They each have their own form of beauty and rage. However, I think I perceived more change and roiling about with the waves' clashing in the Pacific. I miss it, but not so much the state where I used to live as it has become in recent years.

*Quill* Nicely penned Haiku
*Quill* Followed the 5-7-5 form
*Quill*Very expressive
*Quill*Pulls the reader in toward the sea of her mind's eye.

Good job! *Crab*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
297
297
Review of Snokum Joe  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Angel&Witch


Hello there wdwilcox
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" . Thanks for entering the October Horror prompt! *Bug*

Initial Thoughts:

It's in a graveyard at night -- it's going to be spooky. *Ghost*

Character:

Snokum Joe who decides burying his ill-gotten booty would be better done in a cemetery. After all, who wants to start digging up graves to search for the money?

Surprises?

Perhaps. However, it is a dug up grave where a criminal's body is buried. Anything's possible with that set-up.

Disappointment?

Heck, no! The chills and disgusting ghoulish spittle and bits was well earned by Slokum.

Revenge?:

Well, in my opinion who wouldn't expect a little foul-smelling play when disturbing a place of eternal rest? Aches and pains are sure to follow. *Smirk*


Can't Fix Stupid!

Oh, dear Slokum Joe. If at first you don't succeed in doing the burying deed, try another dead occupants resting place. *RollEyes*



Observations:

He wanted to vomit, but [t]hen something brushed his belly.

If he shifted his weight, if he gave it the slightest opening, the thing woulg[would] move as fast as a snake,


As his fear dwindled along with his slowing heartbeat, he became increasingly aware of his physical pain.

Final Thoughts:

This is as creepy and chilling as I would have expected from you. Now, if you don't mind, I think I need a shower. I've been through a very grave situation. *Grave*

That's a good thing, though! *Smirk*

Until next time -- Fright On! *Skull*

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
298
298
Review of Crossing Over  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Angel&Witch


Hello there Dave's gone until 5/22/2024
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" . Thank you for entering our Something Horror this Way Comes, prompt in October! *Wolf*

Ah, nothing yields the bitter revenge as a women scorned. Your story took a view at a natural, normal dad with a young child, just trying to keep the family life going on in a calm and decent manner for his son.

Well, all that's fine and dandy unless the dad helped shorten the life his mom. *Shock2*

The set up:

Good tense moments for the reader to savor.

Spirited Spirit:

The former, fine flutist made an special appearance to visit her son on his birthday, and, have a discussion with her husband . The son was otherwise occupied trick or treating with the women who helped the family pick up the pieces of being heart broken and vulnerable following the death of the wife and mother.

Further Thoughts:

I just love endings that make good beginnings for the child involved. There was no real home and hearth where the father and his mistress disposed of the mother without so much as a cymbal clash send off! Oh, there was a clash so-to-speak, the crush of the skull with a large stone.

They Always Come Back!

The dearly departed when disposed of in such an unceremonious way without a chance of goodbye for her son, was on a mission of revenge.

And we all know -- revenge is a dessert served best cold! *Skull*

Conclusion:

Rules and prompt were followed handily.
Good horror and thrills to spike the goose flesh and end satisfactory!

Well done! *Bug*

Until next time--fright on! *Jackolantern2*

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
299
299
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angel&Witch



Hello there jaya
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" . Thank you for entering our October contest Something Horror this way Comes, contest. *Monster6*

This was quite the eye-feast of horror rolled into a couple villages and the differences between their governance. One was a kind ruler concerned with his villagers. The other was an evil despot-type person selling out his citizens for profit. It had an evil-gang as enforcers. They traveled to the gentler town to wreak havoc, causing destruction and kidnapping and rape of a local young lady.

The creepy part of the story outside of those evil gang members was a local Banyan tree. Banyan trees are perfectly formed to imagine what you described. Their limbs as extended arms and branches like creepy fingers could be pictured. *BareTree3*

*Skull* This was a creepy-dark story that was truly horror-filled but with a sense of justice at the end. It also served as warning against future attacks in that village.

Well done!

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
300
300
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Angel&Witch


Hello there, Kotaro
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" . Thank you for entering our October Something Horror this way Comes, contest. *Spider*

I enjoyed your Sci-fi story with some of the greatest baseball players being brought to the future under the guise of Halloween cover.

*Globe2* The AI soldiers were to defeat and beat down the evil forces that escape into the wormhole every so many years to wreak havoc on the populous. This wicked witch would meet her comeuppance and suffer the wrath of the soldiers from another time.

*Gears* The wormhole timing is the essence of their ability to complete their task.

The ending wrapped up the story neatly with a win, albeit including the loss of thousands of citizens, but, in the long run, the evil loss was in billions.

Well done mixture of horror and sci-fi.

Thanks again for entering the contest!

Until next time -- fright on! *Smirk*

Regards,
WebWitch




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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