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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/wheelwright
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58 Public Reviews Given
58 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Dinner Date  
Review by rabbit
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
I liked the story because it felt enticing toward the middle as the story carried forward but was stuck on the first part of the forgetfulness of Julie and her family photos and the mirror. I decided to move on but then realized it likely meant that suburban Cranberry St. was home to a ostensibly young female adult vampire who had momentarily forgot her place among humans and her obscure biology. This may or may not be the point the author was trying to make, but it feels right. Good tale.
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Review by rabbit
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Fantastic. If they ever invented a version of scrabble using erotic or pornographic words only I think this would be good preparation to score big points.
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Review by rabbit
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Interesting. I was thinking along the lines of Govt. snooping and personal freedom when you talked about Vic who may or may not be from Canada and who certainly sounds like a low life. I think your message is clearly about letting people control our lives. I couldn't work under a system like that unless perhaps I were an lllegal immigrant and powerless to do anything about it. God help us if Vic becomes manager. It would be like having a romney as president.
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Review by rabbit
Rated: E | (4.0)
Nothing like getting your hand held thru a procedure. Looks simple now.
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Review by rabbit
Rated: E | (3.0)
That was great. I loved the path prompters, and planned obsolescense. I had to reread it. Enjoyed it immensely. The Auto Nova function has to be similar to auto destruct to keep the mini-civ from spreading (like a disease)
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Review by rabbit
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
We have to stop being sheep. In confrontation we are exposed to our fears I think you are saying. The bully we knew as kids is now in the guise of authority. The bully never left. I'm not sure what you mean by use or control of the gun. Is this the so called 2nd amendment right to bear arms. And the bullets of consequence firing back. Is this something to do with possessing a weapon may well get you in trouble. Good Work
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Review of facts of life  
Review by rabbit
Rated: E | (2.0)
Not sure what to make of the (future's nearly over so you have to make it last) Do you mean that you don't think there is a future for you/me/us/ or How is it that we are living in the future and not the present
I understand you don't need a reason for doing something good is clear
but always have a reason for doing something you never should is unclear Did you mean that you need a darn good morally based reason for doing something good even if it is unlawful?
I see what you mean by the remembering details for the police if necessary, but I wouldn't want to live under under that kind of pressure to document everything I did from day to day Stay with it
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Review of Lost...  
Review by rabbit
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
A psychiatrist would have a ready answer for your character after years of expensive therapy. Anyway, it can suck to be teenager or anyone else. It's tough to be stable having been brought up in an unstable environment. We wear many masks, we suffer some demons but carry on. Good
Job
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Review of Flight of Freedom  
Review by rabbit
Rated: E | (4.0)
Your character has uncommon courage, I think. Nice work.
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Review of Waking  
Review by rabbit
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I'd like to see more TY Good Work
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Review of The Speck  
Review by rabbit
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Lots of SciFi writers have an idealized view of first contact in which humankind will greatly benefit and the world will be a heaven on earth. On the other hand, the reality is , it seems to me that based on what we as a species have done in the name of exploration the situation may be confrontational. An intelligient species coming to us will know full well what we are about. Without a real basis of knowledge in dealing with other life forms, we may have a tough time getting acquainted. Hope they have good intentions. if Stephen Hawkings agreees that extraterrestrials may be hostile, I am inclined to agree with him. Nice story.
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Review of Starlight  
Review by rabbit
Rated: ASR | (1.0)
Crap
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Review of MY HUSBAND  
Review by rabbit
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow seriously, you got my blood stirring. Would that count as erotica. Its great really. Young man Young woman A device to decide the war of the sexes and a delightful ending. A great reconcialation. Sweet
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Review of Dreamland  
Review by rabbit
Rated: E | (3.5)
A child's imagination is a respite, a child's dreams are an escape. I think the real world as KJ sees is as yet unknown to him/her and like all of us we make up monsters and creepy things that dwell in the dark for things that we can't explain. I liked the
work.
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Review by rabbit
Rated: E | (2.5)
Some heartfelt items. A love lost, a chance not taken. Talk about puppy love. Grammer, Punctuation, Spelling could be improved on.
Not bad
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Review of I Missed You  
Review by rabbit
Rated: E | (3.5)
A sweet story. Neat and clean. I thought for a moment your character was going to be reunited with her biological mother on the plane given that she was so comfortable talking about her life. Very descriptive and the older woman here was very empathetic.
Good Work
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