This is good but possibly you might want to change the title. If you are partial to the one word title, I think "Hell" may work better. Possibly even "Flames". I'm just not sure if "Life" ties into the actual meaning of the poem although I think the poem itself is great.
The premise behind this story is very good. I understand exactly what you were going for here although I didn't feel like I got to know the characters all that well. By the way you described it, it didn't seem like they had been together for very long so it was hard to have a great feeling for them at the end although I was very happy that it ended in that way. I like how you took one of the phrases from the beginning and added it to the end again. It fit in both places and made alot of sense.
There was only one error that I noticed and it was very small, you probably just overlooked it.
"The first three nights we slept in the car on a deserted country road, under a bridge, in a Wal-Mart parking lot."
In this sentence, it sounds like they slept in a walmart parking lot that was under a bridge but I am sure that you are describing where they slept for 3 nights. It should probably be "on a deserted country road, under a bridge and in a walmart parking lot".
Other than that, the rest seems to be error free. You may possibly think about having had the relationship go a bit deeper. Although it has been heard of for two lovers to be willing to sacrifice everything after having known each other for a short time. It was just hard for me to feel any intense love between the two. This is only my opinion though. You have written from your heart, do not change just because of ones opinio. Again, the idea behind the story is fabulous and it was very well written. Keep writing!
Oh my, this is very moving. I feel like I know exactly who you are and I have never even met or spoken with you. What a beautiful poem. It almost brought tears to my eyes. You did a very nice job with this and I did not find any grammatical or puntuation errors at all throughout the entire piece. This is great. Thank you for sharing this with everyone. Keep writing!!
This was a very moving read for me as it felt as though you were describing exactly the way I feel the stresses of life. I really like how you ended it by relaxing and just "watching the clouds float by" as is what sometimes you must do or else we will never be able to "enjoy the ride". I love it, it is a bit fragmented but it works well because sometimes that is just how life is, stressful and fragmented. Excellent job with this one!
This is a great flash fiction story for the prompt. You did a very nice job following through with the prompt and keeping to the 300 words while still making a good and exciting story out of it. It's nice to read short stories like this that actually are going somewhere rather than just dragging along. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
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